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Old 11-28-2022, 09:26 PM   #51
Lost10mm
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Don't just get a lawyer - get a female lawyer. One who has some attitude. If you can't find one you like, then find an older lawyer who's been in the system a LONG time (30 years minimum) and has seen a thing or two.

My ex filed first but was such a pain that her first lawyer quit her. Her second lawyer was only 3 or 4 years in practice. My lawyer with 43 years in practice ate them both for lunch and I came out on top.

I had a "professional" male represent me from one of the areas largest law firms once and he just let them walk all over him, so don't always let the big name fool you. That divorce lawyer I used was working out of a small office in the court house square. He was once a state rep. Real good guy.
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Old 11-28-2022, 09:32 PM   #52
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Nice fairytale but get a lawyer and hurry up

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You obviously know more than I do. Try this on for size. He retains a lawyer then she retains a lawyer. Unnecessary filings, discovery, temporary orders, etc take place. Both parties get ****** at something and both lawyers and parties go Josey Wales and live by the feud. Two years later finally get a divorce decree. She is so ****** she keeps taking him back for modification of order. If they can work it out without all the nonsense I will take that fairytale.
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Old 11-28-2022, 09:44 PM   #53
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Don't just get a lawyer - get a female lawyer. One who has some attitude. If you can't find one you like, then find an older lawyer who's been in the system a LONG time (30 years minimum) and has seen a thing or two.

My ex filed first but was such a pain that her first lawyer quit her. Her second lawyer was only 3 or 4 years in practice. My lawyer with 43 years in practice ate them both for lunch and I came out on top.

I had a "professional" male represent me from one of the areas largest law firms once and he just let them walk all over him, so don't always let the big name fool you. That divorce lawyer I used was working out of a small office in the court house square. He was once a state rep. Real good guy.
That's crap. I followed that advice on my second divorce and it dang sure didn't pan out. Not sure which female came out on top but I was broke nonetheless.
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Old 11-28-2022, 09:49 PM   #54
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You obviously know more than I do. Try this on for size. He retains a lawyer then she retains a lawyer. Unnecessary filings, discovery, temporary orders, etc take place. Both parties get ****** at something and both lawyers and parties go Josey Wales and live by the feud. Two years later finally get a divorce decree. She is so ****** she keeps taking him back for modification of order. If they can work it out without all the nonsense I will take that fairytale.
Exactly, and guess who actually wins when this happens? Lawyers. In mine I told them both that if we fight the only one who will win is the lawyers. They knew I wont screw them, and they also knew if they tried to get aggressive I am the type that will burn it all down to keep from getting screwed.

I do understand, that this is rare and you will most likely need to get a lawyer and fight it out, and the lawyers will get another high end vacation or new beemer out of the deal, but it is what it is
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Old 11-28-2022, 09:58 PM   #55
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When my parents split each got a lawyer and they sat down and got it done very quickly with minimal fees. I was like 13 at the time they put me first and there was zero drama. Have a great relationship with both. Divorce doesnt always have to end bad.


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Old 11-28-2022, 10:04 PM   #56
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You obviously know more than I do. Try this on for size. He retains a lawyer then she retains a lawyer. Unnecessary filings, discovery, temporary orders, etc take place. Both parties get ****** at something and both lawyers and parties go Josey Wales and live by the feud. Two years later finally get a divorce decree. She is so ****** she keeps taking him back for modification of order. If they can work it out without all the nonsense I will take that fairytale.
Hes dealing with a crazy substance abuser and he has a kid. Suit yourself OP and good luck.

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Old 11-28-2022, 10:26 PM   #57
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Hes dealing with a crazy substance abuser and he has a kid. Suit yourself OP and good luck.

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Indeed. Sometimes when people hit rock bottom and realize they are the main reason for the divorce, and are willing to admit their child will be better off with their other parent, they can be quite amenable to the terms proposed. May not work out this way, but likely better than immediately being adversarial if there is a perceived genuine chance of amicable resolution.
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Old 11-28-2022, 10:29 PM   #58
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No lawyer must mean great communication between you two during the process. It can be done. When I’m a situation such as this when one may be irrational or under the influence it’s a recipe for disaster. 1 lawyer or 2 lawyers don’t necessarily mean filings, discovery, etc. a lawyer is just as a contingency in case and can expedite the processes. If you go down the 1 lawyer road make sure he’s yours. The other party can wave their right to a lawyer and notification which could mean they don’t have to notify the second party of any of the filings or scheduled proceedings.

A lot can happen when the income streams start drying up and they’re certainly the time element which is 60 days minimum. My ex just wanted what was “due her”
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Old 11-28-2022, 11:03 PM   #59
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Dude get a lawyer right away and make sure they are experienced in these types of things. I find that women attorneys are better for this.
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Old 11-29-2022, 08:02 AM   #60
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Thank you men for all the advice. She's still in the psych hospital now. I hate to be "the guy" that filed on his wife while she was getting help. But this is the 2nd time in 6 months. We've been trying to keep this together with very rough times over the last year. I believe she knows she can't/won't get full custody of our son. My step kids are on my side in this too. Thanks again for the info and prayers, definitely needed.

I've got a meeting with a female attorney on Thursday. We'll she what she knows.
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Old 11-29-2022, 09:52 AM   #61
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Thank you men for all the advice. She's still in the psych hospital now. I hate to be "the guy" that filed on his wife while she was getting help. But this is the 2nd time in 6 months. We've been trying to keep this together with very rough times over the last year. I believe she knows she can't/won't get full custody of our son. My step kids are on my side in this too. Thanks again for the info and prayers, definitely needed.

I've got a meeting with a female attorney on Thursday. We'll she what she knows.
Smart man

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Old 11-29-2022, 09:56 AM   #62
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Get a lawyer and don't believe a thing that comes out of her mouth.
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Old 11-29-2022, 10:11 AM   #63
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Thank you men for all the advice. She's still in the psych hospital now. I hate to be "the guy" that filed on his wife while she was getting help. But this is the 2nd time in 6 months. We've been trying to keep this together with very rough times over the last year. I believe she knows she can't/won't get full custody of our son. My step kids are on my side in this too. Thanks again for the info and prayers, definitely needed.

I've got a meeting with a female attorney on Thursday. We'll she what she knows.
I hate that you're stuck in a situation where you have to even ponder being "that guy", but this may be the wake up call she needs to seek the help required...keep your chin up, keep her in your prayers, and take care of your children
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Old 11-29-2022, 10:36 AM   #64
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Dang. I am sorry you’re having to go through this. Best of luck to you Sir.
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Old 11-29-2022, 10:37 AM   #65
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Thank you men for all the advice. She's still in the psych hospital now. I hate to be "the guy" that filed on his wife while she was getting help. But this is the 2nd time in 6 months. We've been trying to keep this together with very rough times over the last year. I believe she knows she can't/won't get full custody of our son. My step kids are on my side in this too. Thanks again for the info and prayers, definitely needed.

I've got a meeting with a female attorney on Thursday. We'll she what she knows.
I have no advice that hasn't already been stated. But I can sure say a prayer for you and your family.
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Old 11-29-2022, 10:45 AM   #66
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Document. Document. Document all of your conversations, with dates and times. All transactions that have taken place in past and in the future. Make sure that you keep these records in a safe place as well. That is the only other advice I can give, that has not already been stated.
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Old 11-29-2022, 11:01 AM   #67
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Thank you men for all the advice. She's still in the psych hospital now. I hate to be "the guy" that filed on his wife while she was getting help. But this is the 2nd time in 6 months. We've been trying to keep this together with very rough times over the last year. I believe she knows she can't/won't get full custody of our son. My step kids are on my side in this too. Thanks again for the info and prayers, definitely needed.

I've got a meeting with a female attorney on Thursday. We'll she what she knows.
Good for you. I know its not easy but with your son you absolutely need to get a lawyer even if uncontested IMO. When the dust settles you need to have legal protection because there will be other influences in her ear eventually trust me. I'm all for being civil if possible but it seldom plays out that way in my experience.
Prayers for you and the situation. There's life after divorce for sure.
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Old 11-29-2022, 11:02 AM   #68
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It's normal to feel bad. That just shows you're empathetic.
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Old 11-29-2022, 12:23 PM   #69
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Hire one before 5 pm today..........waaaaaaaay to many moving parts sir!
This x 1000
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Old 11-29-2022, 12:39 PM   #70
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Went thru this recently. Lawyer up now file first get custody and mediate from there. Addiction will make the kid yours. Shoot me a pm and I can tell u about mine. I used mark lane law out of ft worth. Hang in there man life is better on the other side.
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Old 11-29-2022, 01:13 PM   #71
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Prayers up for you and your wife
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Old 11-29-2022, 01:25 PM   #72
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Hate to hear that, but good luck with which ever route you decide.
Prayers up for all involved.
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Old 11-29-2022, 04:41 PM   #73
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She gets out tomorrow. Hope and pray all goes well.
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Old 11-29-2022, 04:44 PM   #74
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keep your retirement and claim your son at least every other year on taxes if not every year
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Old 11-29-2022, 05:10 PM   #75
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She gets out tomorrow. Hope and pray all goes well.
Take her off the accounts
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Old 11-30-2022, 11:56 AM   #76
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Here is a "list" of things to know and do that was compiled on a dad's divorce forum. Some might seem extreme, but these are all based from past experiences. Spend some time reading through this....

Divorce can bring out some bad characteristics in certain individuals. Best of luck

http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_di...ic.php?t=13374
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Old 11-30-2022, 12:02 PM   #77
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Did mine on my own. 2 kids, 401k, assets, etc....

300.00 total tops in fees. we did a 50/50 custody with me as primary, and set our own holiday schedules etc. Could not have worked out any better. Send me a PM if youd like.

Heck, i even went back a few years later and did it on my own again for full custody. Simular situation to yours. No lawyer needed.

Last edited by Alderrg; 11-30-2022 at 12:04 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 11-30-2022, 12:10 PM   #78
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Prayers up
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Old 11-30-2022, 03:10 PM   #79
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OP asked for advice. An attorney on here gave his advice, yet nobody has paid any attention.

Good grief!
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Old 11-30-2022, 03:35 PM   #80
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Prayers up.
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Old 11-30-2022, 03:55 PM   #81
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OP asked for advice. An attorney on here gave his advice, yet nobody has paid any attention.

Good grief!
Some of us have real life experience! Good grief

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Old 11-30-2022, 04:36 PM   #82
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OP asked for advice. An attorney on here gave his advice, yet nobody has paid any attention.

Good grief!
Man i sure hope you dont take advice from every professional that has ever given it!

Beto is a professional.... you take his advice?
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Old 11-30-2022, 06:08 PM   #83
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OP asked for advice. An attorney on here gave his advice, yet nobody has paid any attention.

Good grief!

He asked for personal experiences and advice. Id say weve stayed on topic for once, Mr. Gatekeeper.


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Old 11-30-2022, 07:47 PM   #84
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didn't read all the posts. But divorce sucks. Going through it myself. Prayers up. Over 30 years for me. I pray every day. Hopefully it works out for all of us.
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Old 11-30-2022, 11:08 PM   #85
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I'm saying a prayer for You, Your Wife and Your Children. I truly pray you follow God.
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Old 12-05-2022, 04:20 PM   #86
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Thank God that's she's being civil thru all this. She's been calling my mom and stepmom to see if they can sway me to stay together. But I'm done. My attorney has it all drawn up and she's hopefully signing this week. I'm keeping my son and my toys.
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Old 12-05-2022, 04:29 PM   #87
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Dude get a lawyer right away and make sure they are experienced in these types of things. I find that women attorneys are better for this.
How many divorce lawyers have you had already. sheesh
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Old 12-05-2022, 04:31 PM   #88
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Thank God that's she's being civil thru all this. She's been calling my mom and stepmom to see if they can sway me to stay together. But I'm done. My attorney has it all drawn up and she's hopefully signing this week. I'm keeping my son and my toys.

Soon at the paperwork is filed expect her being civil to go away . Speaking from experience.
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Old 12-05-2022, 04:33 PM   #89
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He asked for personal experiences and advice. Id say weve stayed on topic for once, Mr. Gatekeeper.


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For once??? These posts always stay on topic.
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Old 12-05-2022, 04:39 PM   #90
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Stick to your gun's brother ! I had to do the same. It cost me dearly but it was the best thing I ever did !
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Old 12-05-2022, 05:40 PM   #91
RR 314
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Thank God that's she's being civil thru all this. She's been calling my mom and stepmom to see if they can sway me to stay together. But I'm done. My attorney has it all drawn up and she's hopefully signing this week. I'm keeping my son and my toys.
Good deal. Prayers it stays that way and your lawyer gets everything executed. As someone stated above, "Sometimes when people hit rock bottom and realize they are the main reason for the divorce, and are willing to admit their child will be better off with their other parent, they can be quite amenable to the terms proposed."
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Old 12-05-2022, 05:51 PM   #92
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I haven't read every response and I've never got a divorce but I've heard horror stories from friends. Tomorrow close out all your credit cards and joint accounts. Keep any money you take out of accounts, she's entitled to 1/2 of it but you can be left hanging for credit cards and no matter how civil she's being right now it just takes one wild spending spree to screw you good.
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Old 12-05-2022, 06:29 PM   #93
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I haven't read every response and I've never got a divorce but I've heard horror stories from friends. Tomorrow close out all your credit cards and joint accounts. Keep any money you take out of accounts, she's entitled to 1/2 of it but you can be left hanging for credit cards and no matter how civil she's being right now it just takes one wild spending spree to screw you good.

That has to be done before you file . Can get in trouble if you do it once you file . Learned that the hard way .
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