Torturing my children with dad jokes

[txpitdog]

It is game on at our house. The fun is in the set up, walking them right into it. Leading them into the trap and then dropping the best cornball punchline. They are becoming better at detecting when one is inbound, so I have to be subtle and patient and lull them into one without them realizing before it’s too late.


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[NannySlayer]

What’s the highest rank of popcorn?








Kernel


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[whitetailtrail]

Let’s hear some of your best!


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[RifleBowPistol]

Sounds like a fun game to me.

[SneakyPhil]

Same at our house.

[txoutdoorsman24]

Nice. I am constantly doing/saying dad jokes to my wife and 10 year old!!! They have become accustomed to them and now do them back to me. On Facebook, if you have it, there is a group, Dad Jokes, (red and blue) that I get most of my material from. Www.Alldef.tv is there website if you don’t FB.

[Chew]

I usually wait for months to get them off their guard. Then tell them I won some tickets, or was given some tickets, or bought us some tickets. When they ask "for what", I do the big flex and say, "THE GUN SHOW BABY".

They hate me.

[Abcdj]

What did the cake say to the knife? You want a piece of me.

Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
They cantaloupe!

Chew special here!
What do you call a aligator wearing a vest?
An Investigator!

Whats Irish and stays outside?
Patio furniture!

Why did the banker put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!


The grand daughter is 6. They call me Pops.
When her friends come over. I ask them, you wanna here a cheer.
2 bits 4 bits 6 bits a peso. All for Pops stand up and say so!

Her and her friends go swimming. When they come in. I ask them. Was the water wet!

[txpitdog]

A couple I’ve told them:

Ever since scientists discovered that dogs carry COVID, they’ve been testing other animals. They’ve tested cattle, deer, birds, other livestock and even dragonflies and mosquitoes. All of them have been confirmed to be potential carriers of covid. Interestingly though fire ants are one of the few organisms that do not carry it. It’s probably because of their strong anty-bodies. (My daughter socked me in the arm for that one, lol)

There’s apparently a new trend going around where rich people are buried in glass coffins. (What? Dad, why would anyone do that?) Remains to be seen.

You know kids, as you go through life you meet a lot of different people, you form relationships, and as you get older you lose people. As I’ve gotten older and I think of all the people I’ve lost, I have to wonder if being a tour guide just isn’t the right job for me.

Son, how’s football conditioning going? Does coach have y’all do lunges? (No). Huh, I woulda thought that would be a big step forward for getting you ready for your games.


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[Hoggslayer]

It is game on at our house. The fun is in the set up, walking them right into it. Leading them into the trap and then dropping the best cornball punchline. They are becoming better at detecting when one is inbound, so I have to be subtle and patient and lull them into one without them realizing before it’s too late.


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Bonl

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[Texas Grown]

I've been notorious for telling "Dad jokes" to the point that my adult children got me a "Dad jokes are rad jokes" t-shirt for Christmas one year.

The fish are biting, and there's hogs to be kill-t. Gotta go!

[Pushbutton2]

Why's the mushroom always the life of the party?
It's a real funghi

Why isn't the onion the life of the party?
He makes everyone cry

[Bowtech38]

Guess what? Chicken butt.

[Mofo]

Want to hear a pencil joke?



Never mind it's pointless!

[Tony Pic]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.