Feeling bummed maybe hurt

[Pushbutton2]

So I like to hunt. Friends of mine like to hunt.

They have limited $. I have a little extra $ at times. So I help outfit them as I can. Granted some of it was hand me downs. I'd buy something thinking it would fill a want. Kinda does, but not really like i thought it would or wanted it too. I'd shelve it get something else. They'd express an interest in it. I'd give it to them.

So I've got a place in Brady.

One of my buddies has been a non paying member for 3 years now. I cover his share. Says he wants to go. Yet he ain't never been.
We'll call him buddy A

Another buddy wants to there but don't have the money. Ok I can work with that. I offered him the spit on a barter situation. You clear shooting lanes and keep feeders filled the spots yours.
He still hasn't decided. Let's call him buddy B

Is it man pride or Texas pride that's getting in the way?

Buddy A is/was in fulltime ministry.
Buddy B has Child Support.

I have a personal relationship with these men. I just don't get it. I pour my love and generosity it on them and get kicked in the taint for it.

It gets old fast and in a hurry. Got shots here by the house to set up for them but they don't want to help so I ain't going to. I've got my stuff planned and gear compiled.

[sideways]

You have done more than most would. I wouldn’t worry to much about it. You have been more than generous.


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[curtintex]

Buddy A: You paid for his spot for 3 years and he never even went out. He should have participated in year 1. Years 2&3 are your fault. Stop paying.

Buddy B: He still hasn't decided if he wants a relatively free place to hunt. Okay. So either give him time to decide or don't.


I learned a long time ago that when I do something for someone it can have no strings attached or I'll eventually want to punch somebody in the throat.

[JayB]

I hunted with a buddy and his dad for years...still do today. For the first 10 years or so, my $ was so tight I couldn't afford to sneeze. They paid the lease AND invited me out every time they went...why? Because I could provide labor, and loved doing it. I helped at camp, set up feeders, stands, cleared lanes, filled whatever labor needs I could. I would buy dinner or bring some special foods when we would go out.
We built a relationship.
Now, almost 20 years later, we are still together. There have been times when I have paid the lease bill, corn bill and drove my truck and my gas to take them out. I still do it now. When I save for my lease payment, I save enough to cover the entire lease payment just in case they can't get the $ together. Then if I only pay half, I buy all the corn. I could never repay what they have meant to me.

All that aside, there have been others they have offered the same opportunity. Come work with us and we will give you a spot to hunt. Some people just don't want to commit to the labor or the hunt.

Move on. Be their friend still but know the hunt passion is not in them. That's ok. They still make good friends. Heck, somebody has to taste your new recipe made with the animal you killed at your lease.


.....and God Bless America.

[jer_james]

I learned a long time ago that when I do something for someone it can have no strings attached or I'll eventually want to punch somebody in the throat.

This is the be all end all - have to let go of the expectations tied to the generosity.

Can only control you - learn it and find somebody greatful! Never stop trying!

[Snowflake Killa]

Move on from them, sounds like some lazy bastages.

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[Rick]

buddy a - he is not interested or something else is going on. you have tried to help him, but he does not seem to be interested, move on

buddy b - how long has he been deciding? put a limit on time it should take him and move on

[Burnadell]

Don't let those 2 push your button.

If you have one or two extra spots on your lease/place, I would open them to some paying members on here. You will gain an extra friend or two who, hopefully, will not be pushbuttons.

[sailor]

Your a good friend...………….
You've done, all you can...……….
Don't let it bother you, anymore.....
Move on..………..

[glen]

Buddy A is not interested.

Buddy B give him a courtesy call- Tell him chit or get off the pot because you need work done. Let him know it’s not a free ride. If he is to pony up let him earn his share.

If I couldn’t financially afford it I wouldn’t let someone carry me- But if given to opportunity to pay for it in sweat I would- no way would I let someone carry me if I didn’t feel like I could work enough to actually carry my own weight

[Pushbutton2]

Buddy A was our Youth Minister @ Church so I understand his working weekends.

[etbowhunter]

I've done the same (paid for a friend's spot) on one of my leases in the past and had pretty much the same results. It was a little aggravating at first but I came to the realization that I was fulfilling my part of passing on some of God's blessings that he has given me and it was up to the other guy to receive them.

The next year i kept the additional spot and used it to take my son's non hunting friends to the woods. They jumped at the chance to go and they look forward to return trips each year. They help with off season work, feeder filling, planting, and camp maintenance and half the time are on me about what we need to do different to improve the lease. I've been doing this for the last 4 years and i can't tell you how much I've enjoyed it. It's worked out so well that this year I took on an additional spot at our lease out west for the same purpose.

I would suggest keep doing what you're doing but look for other people to share it with. Sometimes the ones that need it the most are the ones you never think about.

[No-Tox]

Can I be Buddy C?

If you extend whatever generosity you have, it can't be with expectations. Now, bartering is something different. There is an expectation of something in return for your $$$.
Sounds like Buddy A doesn't see the real value of what is being done and isn't interested in hunting so move on from that offer. Build that friendship some other way.
Buddy B maybe trying to figure out if he has the time to devote to the barter. I would tell him you need to know by X time so you can move on if need to.

[Buckshot4900]

Ive had buddies just like you described. I finally told myself that I would be friends when I was with them, but, no more free stuff period. They come to expect it out of you.
I literally saved a buddy’s house from burning because I always keep several fire extinguishers in my work and welder trailers. He called panicking and I ran and out the fire out and just left the three extinguishers with him, thinking he would get them refilled later.
Came home a few days later to three extinguishers sitting on my porch....
You guessed it, EMPTY.
Some people just have no sense of morals when it comes to good friends.
Move on my friend.


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[justindfw]

Dang I need better buddies. Ide fill feeders and help with lanes for hunting rights in a heart beat. Some people just don't wanna do Manuel labor.