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major marriage problems, advice please?

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    #76
    Originally posted by Burntorange Bowhunter View Post
    This.

    Find someone for you to "talk" to.

    She deleted his social media account but she has his number bro.

    Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk
    Yeah kinda find it hard to believe she has given up talking to the mystery man.
    It's going to be hard for you to have complete trust from this point on.

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      #77
      Originally posted by Graysonhogs View Post
      Passwords on phones are fine. No reason the significant other shouldn’t be privy to the password though. Passwords aren’t to lock out the spouse, it’s all the others with nefarious motives in case your phone is lost or stolen.



      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
      I agree, Due to my work my phone must be password protected. I'm the only one who can open it. With that said, if my wife had any concerns I would let her look anytime. She has nothing to worry about.

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        #78
        Originally posted by darralld View Post
        Yeah kinda find it hard to believe she has given up talking to the mystery man.
        It's going to be hard for you to have complete trust from this point on.
        It's only as hard as you make it

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          #79
          It's never easy giving access to the most intimate and personal aspects of your life, be it here or in counseling but, it can be the absolute best thing for you, your wife and y'alls marriage.

          I've been to therapy for PTSD and that was the toughest, I had a built up a belief I was this tough infantry Marine, just push through, box it up and move on. I couldn't anymore and needed help. My world crumbled before I got help. Fast forward and my wife and I needed help when we were fostering, our world was upside down and I was pushing away when I should have been moving closer to her and Jesus.

          My wife and I have been married for 12 years, together for 20 this month. Anytime we have a big issue we table that issue until we see our marriage counselor.

          It's done wonders for our marriage. I know it can be tough to be optimistic looking forward and there are probably wounds on both sides. Be honest with your wife and the counselor. Turn your issues and your marriage over to God. Pray! Pray by yourself, with your wife and with your kids. Do it out loud. This was very tough for me and still is but, it's amazing to see what God has done in our marriage when we finally fully turned it over.

          A book that has done wonders in our marriage, both for me and then my wife is 'The Power of a Praying Husband'. It's phenomenal in so many ways. I would like to send you a copy if you'll just message me your address.

          I'll be sure to pray for you, your wife and y'alls marriage. God Bless.

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            #80
            Every marriage is different, it's so hard to give advice or know which is good advice and bad. What worked for one guy might be the worst thing another guy could do. The only thing that will truly work is to come together and figure out what is different from when you dated/married. I'm not talking jobs, kids and stuff like that. What made you two work where you wanted to spend your life with this person. If you can't put a finger on that or are unable to work it if you do know then it's best to let it go. Living your life reading into every noise, look, or breath she takes isn't living. Wondering if she is cheating on you will only drive you insane. Same goes for her, you over-reacting to everything only makes it worse also.

            Pray....worst case, part ways and be friends again, maybe that "thing" will be found again to make it work.

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              #81
              Originally posted by JLivi1224 View Post
              I would also like to add:
              Life IS NOT about being happy. Neither is marriage. I CANNOT STAND! that this is the meaaage the world pushes. Marriage is about honoring God. It’s about a covenant between man and wife, before God. If you dedicate yourself to being the man and husband the Lord has called you to be, happiness has no choice but to follow.
              After going back and rereading this thread I am saddened to see so many saying they'd "give her the boot" or start talking to attorneys.

              I was glad to read you post, JLivi1224. We (generalizing) as husbands I believe, have taken for granted what it means to be a husband in God's eyes and the sacredness of marriage in His eyes.

              People saying she was cheating... maybe. But, so is looking lustfully at another woman. So is watching ****, swimsuit issue of SI, Maixm, etc.

              I sincerely pray you will dive into His word and cast aside these comments of "giving her the boot", etc. That is not what God wants for your marriage and that is the last thing someone should be putting in your head in such a difficult time.

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                #82
                best of luck... I went thru this about 8 years ago. It wasn't fun and had a sad ending but life went on. Hunting/fishing have become my therapy!

                Comment


                  #83
                  Originally posted by chongo View Post
                  After going back and rereading this thread I am saddened to see so many saying they'd "give her the boot" or start talking to attorneys.

                  I was glad to read you post, JLivi1224. We (generalizing) as husbands I believe, have taken for granted what it means to be a husband in God's eyes and the sacredness of marriage in His eyes.

                  People saying she was cheating... maybe. But, so is looking lustfully at another woman. So is watching ****, swimsuit issue of SI, Maixm, etc.

                  I sincerely pray you will dive into His word and cast aside these comments of "giving her the boot", etc. That is not what God wants for your marriage and that is the last thing someone should be putting in your head in such a difficult time.
                  Looking is cheating??? NO sir, if you don't look, you may want to get checked to make sure your a man. Anyone who says they don't look needs to get off the high horse. I don't care who you are..... YOU LOOK!!

                  Comment


                    #84
                    Originally posted by UrbanBuck View Post
                    Looking is cheating??? NO sir, if you don't look, you may want to get checked to make sure your a man. Anyone who says they don't look needs to get off the high horse. I don't care who you are..... YOU LOOK!!
                    I don't want to turn man's thread into a debate but, Matthew 5:28 is clear.

                    Comment


                      #85
                      Originally posted by JLivi1224 View Post
                      I would also like to add:
                      Life IS NOT about being happy. Neither is marriage. I CANNOT STAND! that this is the meaaage the world pushes. Marriage is about honoring God. It’s about a covenant between man and wife, before God. If you dedicate yourself to being the man and husband the Lord has called you to be, happiness has no choice but to follow.
                      Great post.
                      Best of Luck to the OP...

                      Comment


                        #87
                        Originally posted by deerplanter View Post
                        I didn't read thru all this as but I'll let you know a little of my story. My wife and I split for other reasons but it was still a split up. She filed for divorce and we both had lawyers. She moved out and I paid her a large sum of money but the divorce was taking a long time. In the mean time I was going to church in Baytown Faith family, sy the 8:30 am service and unknowingly to me my wife was going to the 11:30 service. To make a long story short I finally decided to just turn all over to God and I immediately found piece and 3 days later my wife sent me a text wanting to try and work it out. That was a little over a year ago and we are better than ever. If you would like to talk about anything send me a pm.
                        that's an amazing story. Thanks for sharing.

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                          #88
                          It normally comes down to a communication and/or trust issue. I wish you the best, and as stated each person and relationship is different. I got divorced two months shy of 32 years. I almost think we knew each other too well.

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                            #89
                            Originally posted by Atfulldraw View Post
                            The big question for me would be "can I live with someone I don't trust?"

                            If you are really "in" a relationship, none of those apps have any business on your phone.

                            I see married couples all the time with passwords on their phone, secret emails, secret app accounts and such....it's not something I can understand.


                            I wish you all the best.
                            This.

                            Sent from my SM-G970U1 using Tapatalk

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                              #90
                              Originally posted by yaqui View Post
                              Don't listen to any of this above. An attorney would show your wife that you have given up.

                              Be honest and truthful with your therapist and wife. If you don't like the therapist, find another one. Be sure you both agree on the direction the therapist had you going in.

                              Your marriage is worth fighting for.
                              I was about to give the same advice, that guy's should not be considered. That is a completely worldly view of marriage, the OP said he was going to Christian counseling which means he is at least trying to seek a Godly resolution.

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