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Love and Hate - A Success Story

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    Love and Hate - A Success Story

    Some of yall know what I've been doing for the past year, and today I hit a huge milestone. It's been a year for the books, and I wanted to document my journey for others that might be battling the same thing I've been battling. I don't open myself up too much, especially to the internet, but I hope my experiences can be motivation for 1 or 2 guys. Sorry for the long read.

    For the past 20 years, I’ve been large. Like most people, I was in great shape during high school. I was a 6’0”, 210, 6-pack, football jock that could do no wrong. It worked and I started dating the smoking hot girl that would eventually become my wife. When I started college, I was left without a coach to yell at me and make me run, and I began gaining weight. A lot of weight. Each year that went by, I’d gain a few pounds. When you look at it yearly, 10-20 pounds doesn’t seem like much. “eh, 10 pounds this year? I can work that off”. But I didn’t, and it just started adding up. But I was still happy and didn’t care, and I figured it would work itself out.

    Eventually I graduated college, got married, and moved across the country. Combined with being 2,000 miles away from anything and anyone I’ve ever known, and some things not working out professionally, I got depressed. Depression isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. It’s a horrible state and darker than any black hole; completely devoid of any happiness or hope. I tried to be a good man and a good husband, but looking back I can tell it was probably very difficult for my wife. When we moved back to Texas, I was 275 pounds.

    I thought being back in Texas would solve all of my problems, but I still found myself in a depressed state and always unhappy, even though my life was great. My wife had an amazing career, I was back home with family, I started a new career that seemed promising, but nothing seemed to get me out of this funk. I would go through stages of happiness and optimism, but It never lasted longer than a few days or a week at the most.

    My wife and I welcome our first child, Emma, in 2016 and it was amazing. My boy Jackson came a couple of years later in 2018. These 2 kids are amazing and perfect in every way imaginable, but in my mind, it created a new challenge; how do I show my children what a good man is if I don’t even feel like I’m a good person? I’m fat, depressed, and always mad at the world; that’s not a good role model and not the person I want my kids to grow up learning from.

    I knew my weight and self-esteem played a huge role in my depression, and I’ve tried to fix it a million times. Weight watchers, intermittent exercise, random diets here and there. But I never stuck with any of them. The company I was working for was really starting to ramp things up and I found myself devoted to it, working countless hours and getting very stressed out. I wanted to be a successful professional, possibly more than being healthy. Maybe being successful would fix my problems, especially since I wasn’t succeeding at the weight loss part. I even told myself, “I’m going to focus on the job. I’ll worry about the weight part later. One stress at a time”. And that was my excuse to let my weight get even more out of control. In January of 2019, I was 347 pounds. My blood pressure was 140/110 and my resting heart rate was in the low 100’s.

    Early January, my wife and I were driving home from the Montgomery area, and I had a mini breakdown. My wife is a saint and has always been very supportive, even though I know I’ve probably been difficult to live with. I’ve never really opened up to her about everything I’ve felt and knew was true: I hated myself. I was severely depressed, unhappy with the kind of man I was becoming, and unhappy with how I was being a father.

    If I was going to fix these, I had to learn how to love myself. How can I love my family if I don’t love myself? So I prayed more than I’ve ever prayed before, and God told me what I knew to be true: I have to lose weight.

    On February 1, 2019, I knew I couldn’t start this long journey on my own, especially since I’ve failed so many times before, so I found a personal trainer and paid him up-front for 10 sessions of one-on-one training. I knew I had to do it upfront, or I’d find a way to stop going. I’d workout with him once a week and it would be a butt-kicking, nothing like I’ve ever done before. My arms and legs felt like Jell-O when I would drive home. For the 6 other days on my own, I would walk around the neighborhood and eat healthy. I downloaded MyFitnessPal on my phone and used it religiously, tracking everything that went into my body. And I bought an Apple Watch to track calories burned. Weight started to come off slowly, but regularly. Each week, I looked forward to weighing myself in the gym and telling my trainer what my weight was. And knowing that he would give me crap and be disappointed if I didn’t lose weight, motivated me stick with it on the 6 other days of the week away from the gym. After a few weeks, I started going to the gym during the day and just walking on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes, then going home and walking around the neighborhood at night. The more calories my Apple Watch showed me burning, the better. By March 11th, I was 318 pounds. Then COVID hit.

    The gym shut down, and my sessions with my trainer stopped. But everything was working and I didn’t want to stop! My motivation kind of hit a low and my weight loss slowed. I was still losing weight, but only a pound a week or so, and that wasn’t good enough. I was used to losing 4-6 pounds a week, with an occasional huge 8 pound week.

    While being home during COVID, I finally started to get to know my neighbors well. One of my neighbors was always the ‘in-shape’ guy of the street, and I told him about my journey and how it had kind of stopped. He was working out daily anyway, so offered to let me workout with him and continue my program. He kind of made it his goal to get me in shape, and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. Started in April, we worked out at 5:30 a.m. doing crossfit-esque workouts, then I would walk around lunch time, then we would do another workout in the afternoon. Monday through Friday, with the occasional flag-football game with the neighborhood kids on Saturday mornings. My calorie deficit was through the roof, and weight started to fall off tremendously. My body was on board, my mind was on board, and I started to realize that all of this was working; working much more than it had before. I could see that my goal was attainable.

    Every 4-6 weeks I had to buy new clothes. When I first started working out with my neighbor, I stopped 9 times trying to run 1 mile. In November, I ran my first 5k, and did it without stopping. I was having to take second looks in the mirror as I passed by because I started to not recognize myself. With COVID, I didn’t see any colleagues for months, and had to wave them down at restaurants because they pass right by me without recognizing me. It was a great feeling.

    This morning on January 23, 2021, the scale hit 209 pounds. In 50 weeks, I beat my goal and lost nearly 40% of my original weight. I’ve lost 17” around my waist, and 5” around my neck.

    I’ve never been happier, and it shows. I walk around with a smile on my face, and feel joy again. I wish every person could feel what I’m feeling daily. During all of this, I’ve never heard God’s voice more clear. In the past, I’ve prayed for help, guidance and strength, but I guess I’ve been too stubborn to listen. Once I started listening and doing what he’s told me, the fruits have been abundant. He’s opened my eyes and my heart and I’m a completely different man that I was 12 months ago. My priorities have changed 180 degrees, and I have a new take on life. I finally love myself, and now I know that I can love my family the way they deserve to be loved. Since I was in a life-changing mood, and with the encouragement and support of my wife and new best friend neighbor, I decided to start my Law Enforcement career. This was a year of change, and in a year of loss and heart ache for many in the world, 2020 would be one of the best and most meaningful years of my life.

    To all of the guys that might be battling depression, self-esteem issues or weight loss, find the true root of what moves your life, and pursue it. Depression doesn’t have to grasp ahold of your life and keep you down; find out what will motivate you to fight back, and give it hell.



    Last edited by jck; 01-23-2021, 02:36 PM.

    #2
    Congrats on everything. Most folks dont realize, but according to a good frined of mine, exercising daily is the number one thing a person can do for themselves when fighting depression. Keep it up and remember to give back to that wife of yours. A lot of people would have bailed on a relationship like the one you described.

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      #3
      That is one of the coolest reads,ever! Man,I am super proud for you..A friend of mine asked me years ago.."How can you leave this hell,and go to the gym for 2 hours"? Because I said I would..Congratulations amigo!

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        #4
        Congratulations and thanks for sharing your story!

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          #5
          Incredible story! If this doesn’t give us all motivation for just about anything in life, I don’t know what would. Congrats!

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            #6
            Chris, I'm so proud of you brother and you're an inspiration to a lot of people. I hope you never lose your love of Skittles!

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              #7
              Congrats, don’t know you but I’m proud of you and extremely happy for you!!! What a great testimony to how amazing life can become!!!

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                #8
                Originally posted by CabezaBlanca View Post
                Congratulations and thanks for sharing your story!
                Great story and congratulations. You are Da Man, as they say. Prayers lifted up for you.

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                  #9
                  Congratulations, truly a great accomplishment. Keep it up

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                    #10
                    Congrats! Amen

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                      #11
                      That’s a great accomplishment, congrats on your success. Keep it up!

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                        #12
                        Keep listening to God and you will be fine... congratulations and God Bless.

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                          #13
                          Congratulations sir. That’s one heck of an accomplishment. I wish you continued success and happiness.


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                            #14
                            Outstanding. Those kind of results didn't come without HARD WORK.

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                              #15
                              yes sir! thanks for the post about hard times and how our God did lift you up

                              .....He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
                              out of the mud and mire;
                              He set my feet on a rock
                              and gave me a firm place to stand.
                              He put a new song in my mouth,
                              a hymn of praise to our God.
                              Many will see and fear the Lord
                              and put their trust in him. Psalm 40.2-4
                              Last edited by easeup; 01-23-2021, 05:24 PM.

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