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Old 11-18-2020, 02:37 PM   #351
kurt68
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Originally Posted by JHT View Post
Burn/smoke wood the entire time they are here.
Get some fireworks too.

Cali folk are real nervous around open flames/fire & tired of smelling smoke for three months.

Make them feel at home.
I'm sorry I laughed at this.
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Old 11-18-2020, 02:40 PM   #352
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one of the best threads on tbh
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Old 11-18-2020, 02:43 PM   #353
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I saw Lt. Col. Frank Slade put a Ranger choke hold on some Nancy who worked for Snowflake Sugar at Thanksgiving dinner once--Randy deserved it. :-)
Greatness....my all time favorite movie.

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Old 11-18-2020, 02:50 PM   #354
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I have some but they don't hold a candle to the crap I've read here so...Ö.bump
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Old 11-18-2020, 03:13 PM   #355
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Looking forward the cousin eddy stories.
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Old 11-18-2020, 03:30 PM   #356
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I still want to know what happened to Harry_Reed
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Old 11-18-2020, 05:41 PM   #357
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Our holiday get togethers are nothing, compared to some of these. I hate drama.
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Old 11-18-2020, 05:45 PM   #358
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Well mom got drunk, and dad got drunk...
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Old 11-18-2020, 08:52 PM   #359
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Some great reading here
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Old 11-19-2020, 07:24 AM   #360
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Originally Posted by JHT View Post
Burn/smoke wood the entire time they are here.
Get some fireworks too.

Cali folk are real nervous around open flames/fire & tired of smelling smoke for three months.

Make them feel at home.
Thanks cold...I got a good laugh though
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Old 11-19-2020, 09:24 AM   #361
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Man I cant believe I have never seen this thread. Some of you guys had me laughing so hard my side hurt. I cant wait for more.
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Old 11-20-2020, 12:26 PM   #362
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getting close, ttt
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Old 11-20-2020, 01:35 PM   #363
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My 2 oldest nieces gave my sister and my parents fits growing up. We figured it was something in the genes since their dad was a major league D-Bag (who currently residing in the state pen where I hope he remains until his last breath is drawn). But, both girls turned out incredibly good.

Anyway one Christmas about 20 years ago, the older one shows up at grandma and grandpa's house with her new boyfriend in tow. He is sporting an insane blue mohawk that sticks 2 feet straight up from his otherwise bald scalp. And a variety of piercings, tats and other body mods. Kind of like the guy below.

After everyone is done gawking, I take him aside to have a polite conversation and he seems like a decent enough kid.

When it comes time to open presents (we all go around the room opening one at a time per Grandpa's rule), I feel bad that this kid has no present to open. So I get my brother to dig up an old mesh ball cap and I cut out a strip about 3" wide from the front to the back, put it in a gift bag and slip it into the pile of presents with the name "Spike" on it.

It took him a second to realize what it was but then he jammed that mohawk through the hat and absolutely owned it. We had people almost passing out from laughing so hard.

My niece mentioned this a few years ago and said he kept the hat and that he turned out OK too.
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Old 11-28-2020, 01:17 PM   #364
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Ttt


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Old 11-28-2020, 02:26 PM   #365
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Many yeas ago
My parents house. My brother and I have the exact same guns Sig P220. I had done some trigger work and my brother wanted me to work on his. So we cover the pool table with a sheet and take his gun apart and work on it for about an hour. Mom calls for us to come eat. We all go eat and my brother goes and puts his gun back together except for the washer in the grip. He has a habit of dropping on in the pipe closing the action and then seating the magazine. Well he does this except the magazine does not go in because the washer is not in the gun. We look for the washer for about an hour and then give up. He then asks me if I felt his trigger. I pick it up-aim at a dot on the side of the pool table and sqeeze of the round in the chamber. round goes through the pool table down into the carpet goes under a wall and comes up out of the carpet in another room and striking my Mom in the collar bone and then bounced up and landed on my wife's head burning the hair and her scalp.
Well the bullet was a hydro-shock and my Mom's collar bone is bleeding from the exposed point and we are thinking it may have fractured her collarbone. We load up and goto the hospital to have X-rays and my brother being an EMT calls ahead and explains what happened. Return from hospital only to have HPD crime scene all over the house. My Mom starts making plates for the Detectives that are talking to my bother and I. Get done talking to us and then state they are headed to the hospital to interview the gunshot victim. My Mom pipes up and says that she is right here. Detectives leave and a Parol Officer stays around while Crime Scene gets everything. Patrol Officer stays around for a few hours and sits and eats evening meal with family and we even had him say the prayer for the meal. My Mom fixes him a plate of cookies and pie and fixes him a large glass of milk to take with him. Patrol Officer takes plate but refuses milk saying he didn't want to take her container. About 15 minutes later our doorbell rings and it is the Patrol Officer saying everything is closed and he will be happy with a glass of milk. We all laughed and he came in and played cards and spent another hour or two at the house. He stopped by my parents house every Christmas after that until he retired

So I guess we qualify- I shot my Mom and wife on Christmas.
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Old 11-28-2020, 03:55 PM   #366
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Just this Thanksgiving night having it at my girlfriends sons' house. One of her daughters brings a new boyfriend. As the weather is pretty decent all the guys are outside have some beers while the women are prepping dinner. Im talking to the new boyfriend, seems like a good kid. We are pounding some beers and swapping hunting stories. We end of at the table after dinner, women are looking for black friday deals and he and i are just drinking. This is his first time at the house. He disappears for about 45 mins. My girlfriends sons starts yelling. Evidently he didn't make it to the bathroom all the way and started throwing up in the hallway(white carpeting). All over shower curtain, sink, bathroom floor. Girlfriends son had him in a headlock taking him outside, i run outside to prevent any fisticuffs, trying to be the peacemaker. New guy was wrong for not fessing up but girlfriends son went over the top. We are having a birthday party in a couple hrs at the same house. Should be interesting.
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Old 11-30-2020, 08:33 AM   #367
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Originally Posted by Hagen View Post
Just this Thanksgiving night having it at my girlfriends sons' house. One of her daughters brings a new boyfriend. As the weather is pretty decent all the guys are outside have some beers while the women are prepping dinner. Im talking to the new boyfriend, seems like a good kid. We are pounding some beers and swapping hunting stories. We end of at the table after dinner, women are looking for black friday deals and he and i are just drinking. This is his first time at the house. He disappears for about 45 mins. My girlfriends sons starts yelling. Evidently he didn't make it to the bathroom all the way and started throwing up in the hallway(white carpeting). All over shower curtain, sink, bathroom floor. Girlfriends son had him in a headlock taking him outside, i run outside to prevent any fisticuffs, trying to be the peacemaker. New guy was wrong for not fessing up but girlfriends son went over the top. We are having a birthday party in a couple hrs at the same house. Should be interesting.

Good luck!!!


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Old 11-30-2020, 08:53 AM   #368
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This was a few years ago but man did it have me sitting on the couch 100% entertained with the situation that was playing out right in front of me.

We were all at my MIL's house for Christmas one year and my wife has a pretty wild relative, we will call this person X. Person X is a female.

Person X is married to Person Y and they have a precious little daughter.

Well about a week before this Person X's husband, Mr. person Y suspected his wife was running around on him but had no proof, but did think he knew the guys name.

The night before Chirstmas Mrs. X had to much to drink and while she wasnt paying attention her husband grabbed her phone and changed who he thought she was running around on him withs phone number to his number but left the name the same so that any text she sent that weekend would be strait to his phone instead of the suspected "friend".

Well Christmas morning rolls around and we are all sitting around the tree waiting on everyone to gather except for Mrs. X who is in the bathroom taking Nudes and sending them to who she thought was her friend back home with some pretty explicit wording below them not know they were going strait to Mr. Husband Y who is reading these all out for everyone to see and hear in the living room. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.
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Old 11-30-2020, 09:22 AM   #369
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^^^^ that is hilarious!!
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Old 11-30-2020, 10:33 AM   #370
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Originally Posted by Gclyde12 View Post
This was a few years ago but man did it have me sitting on the couch 100% entertained with the situation that was playing out right in front of me.

We were all at my MIL's house for Christmas one year and my wife has a pretty wild relative, we will call this person X. Person X is a female.

Person X is married to Person Y and they have a precious little daughter.

Well about a week before this Person X's husband, Mr. person Y suspected his wife was running around on him but had no proof, but did think he knew the guys name.

The night before Chirstmas Mrs. X had to much to drink and while she wasnt paying attention her husband grabbed her phone and changed who he thought she was running around on him withs phone number to his number but left the name the same so that any text she sent that weekend would be strait to his phone instead of the suspected "friend".

Well Christmas morning rolls around and we are all sitting around the tree waiting on everyone to gather except for Mrs. X who is in the bathroom taking Nudes and sending them to who she thought was her friend back home with some pretty explicit wording below them not know they were going strait to Mr. Husband Y who is reading these all out for everyone to see and hear in the living room. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

Winner of thread! Ha ha ha.

So was she hot?


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Old 11-30-2020, 11:00 AM   #371
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This was when we gave a Guinee pig to our daughter a few years ago. We put it in her stocking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRxG...ature=youtu.be
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Old 11-30-2020, 12:24 PM   #372
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Originally Posted by Gclyde12 View Post
This was a few years ago but man did it have me sitting on the couch 100% entertained with the situation that was playing out right in front of me.

We were all at my MIL's house for Christmas one year and my wife has a pretty wild relative, we will call this person X. Person X is a female.

Person X is married to Person Y and they have a precious little daughter.

Well about a week before this Person X's husband, Mr. person Y suspected his wife was running around on him but had no proof, but did think he knew the guys name.

The night before Chirstmas Mrs. X had to much to drink and while she wasnt paying attention her husband grabbed her phone and changed who he thought she was running around on him withs phone number to his number but left the name the same so that any text she sent that weekend would be strait to his phone instead of the suspected "friend".

Well Christmas morning rolls around and we are all sitting around the tree waiting on everyone to gather except for Mrs. X who is in the bathroom taking Nudes and sending them to who she thought was her friend back home with some pretty explicit wording below them not know they were going strait to Mr. Husband Y who is reading these all out for everyone to see and hear in the living room. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

To be a fly on the wall during that scenario unfolding....
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Old 11-30-2020, 12:35 PM   #373
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To be a fly on the wall during that scenario unfolding....
Or in the bathroom...
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Old 11-30-2020, 12:42 PM   #374
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Originally Posted by Gclyde12 View Post
This was a few years ago but man did it have me sitting on the couch 100% entertained with the situation that was playing out right in front of me.

We were all at my MIL's house for Christmas one year and my wife has a pretty wild relative, we will call this person X. Person X is a female.

Person X is married to Person Y and they have a precious little daughter.

Well about a week before this Person X's husband, Mr. person Y suspected his wife was running around on him but had no proof, but did think he knew the guys name.

The night before Chirstmas Mrs. X had to much to drink and while she wasnt paying attention her husband grabbed her phone and changed who he thought she was running around on him withs phone number to his number but left the name the same so that any text she sent that weekend would be strait to his phone instead of the suspected "friend".

Well Christmas morning rolls around and we are all sitting around the tree waiting on everyone to gather except for Mrs. X who is in the bathroom taking Nudes and sending them to who she thought was her friend back home with some pretty explicit wording below them not know they were going strait to Mr. Husband Y who is reading these all out for everyone to see and hear in the living room. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.
So no pics of the Y?
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Old 11-30-2020, 12:46 PM   #375
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Originally Posted by Ouch View Post
Or in the bathroom...
Now that's using your head. LoL.
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Old 11-30-2020, 12:50 PM   #376
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So no pics of the Y?
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Old 11-08-2021, 08:04 AM   #377
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Bump for the 2021 Holiday Season



please excuse brevity and dictation errors.
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Old 11-08-2021, 08:33 AM   #378
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So no pics of the Y?
I think you meant X? At least I hope so.
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Old 11-08-2021, 08:39 AM   #379
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I think you meant X? At least I hope so.
Lord I hope thats what QB meant
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Old 11-08-2021, 08:42 AM   #380
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Lord I hope thats what QB meant
If not, maybe a coming out of sorts!
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Old 11-10-2021, 02:34 AM   #381
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How have I not seen this? Read it all in one go lol

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Old 11-10-2021, 03:50 AM   #382
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The bomb that spoiled Christmas
As a boy in South Texas our family decided to visit the uncle, aunt, cousins on Christmas day for BBQ and beer in the Alief region. Had cousin X who was always into mischief, great funny guy but took no crap from anyone and beat up anyone who picked on the cousins or his brother, and in Alief there was a lot of opportunity for that.
Anyway on Christmas night cousin X had the grand idea to teach the cousins how to build a bomb and blow up some lumber in the field nearby. Meanwhile the parents enjoyed the visit food and drink at the kitchen table while we huddled in the garage and went to work unraveling firecrackers and a couple 30-06 shells, funneling the powder into a CO2 cartridge. One of our smarter cousins sensed danger and decided he'd go the bedroom and hang out. With several of us huddled in a circle in the garage, the cartridge exploded prematurely while he was packing powder with a nail (genius).
Blew off 2 and a half fingers and the smell of burnt flesh resonated the garage. Parents were naturally freaked out after the bang and cousin X walking in the kitchen and puttin his hand in the kitchen sink bleeding profusely. Ears were ringing so bad seemed like the next morning before the ringing resided.
Our uncle wrapped cousin X's hand in a towel, the uncles and dad took off to the hospital. That all happened fast, party over. The next morning we left and stopped by the hospital to tell him goodbye. Walked in the hospital room and cousin X smiled and he said "told you it would work". Not very dysfunctional but it was disruptive.
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Old 11-11-2021, 07:14 AM   #383
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Lol! Good one to start the season off!


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Old 11-25-2021, 12:03 PM   #384
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Happy turkey day ya filthy animals!!


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Old 11-25-2021, 12:36 PM   #385
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Happy turkey day ya filthy animals!!


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I'm looking forward to the drunk uncle, crazy cousin, loud sister in law updates!!
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Old 11-25-2021, 12:57 PM   #386
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I'm looking forward to the drunk uncle, crazy cousin, loud sister in law updates!!

Iím looking forward to being the drunk uncle, and the crazy cousin!


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Old 11-25-2021, 01:00 PM   #387
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I'm looking forward to the drunk uncle, crazy cousin, loud sister in law updates!!
My family told the drunk uncle he had to be vaccinated to go to Thanksgiving. So here I am about to put a prime rib on for myself
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Old 11-25-2021, 02:56 PM   #388
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My family told the drunk uncle he had to be vaccinated to go to Thanksgiving. So here I am about to put a prime rib on for myself

You win Thanksgiving, sir!


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Old 11-25-2021, 03:12 PM   #389
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My family told the drunk uncle he had to be vaccinated to go to Thanksgiving. So here I am about to put a prime rib on for myself

Hahahaha! Fantastic.


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Old 11-25-2021, 08:37 PM   #390
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My family told the drunk uncle he had to be vaccinated to go to Thanksgiving. So here I am about to put a prime rib on for myself

Thatís awesome
Happy thanksgiving sir !! U da man!!


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Old 11-25-2021, 10:56 PM   #391
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This thread is chock full of some serious entertainment! I just spent an hour reading a bunch of these stories. Classic stuff in here!
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Old 11-25-2021, 11:12 PM   #392
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Crashed my buddies family dinner in Oklahoma tonight. Iím gonna expect some good stories by tomorrow afternoon!!
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Old Yesterday, 11:58 AM   #393
Russ81
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https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2QwTm9/


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Old Yesterday, 12:36 PM   #394
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1986, grandpa got drunk at Christmas, pulled a gun and started talking ****, my uncle thought he was gonna take it away, took a 357 through the chest, aunts husband took one through the leg, and grandpa got beat up pretty good.
Uncle lived but lost control of his right arm, lot of nerve damage, and about 3 yrs recovery.
Aunts husband had no permanent damage.
No charges filed, nobody went to jail.
The good ole days
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Old Yesterday, 05:23 PM   #395
Big Lee
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Originally Posted by MadHatter View Post
1986, grandpa got drunk at Christmas, pulled a gun and started talking ****, my uncle thought he was gonna take it away, took a 357 through the chest, aunts husband took one through the leg, and grandpa got beat up pretty good.
Uncle lived but lost control of his right arm, lot of nerve damage, and about 3 yrs recovery.
Aunts husband had no permanent damage.
No charges filed, nobody went to jail.
The good ole days
We need more info. This is like watching the previews to a great movie!
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Old Yesterday, 06:06 PM   #396
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Eeweee
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Old Yesterday, 06:30 PM   #397
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We need more info. This is like watching the previews to a great movie!
Not much else to it.
Grandpa was a drunk, and there were many instances over the yrs, nothing like this one though.
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Old Yesterday, 07:16 PM   #398
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I believe this holiday season has the potential for greatness.
If you read my other posts this pic fits right in EH?
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