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Old 01-09-2020, 03:38 AM   #1
hully1029
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Default Child support = depression

3:30AM thoughts.. I sold my home and moved closer to my kids, I changed jobs to be provide better for my family, I spend THOUSANDS of dollars to get to see my kids more.. I go to court and behold, I get more time, yet my child support goes UP. So, let me get this straight.. I get MORE time, yet I pay MORE.. so now I have work more, to make up for the lost wages, and that's less time I get to see the kids that I was just awarded.. cant win for losing..

sorry, just needed to vent a little.. gets pretty lonely with nothing but your thoughts working nights..

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Old 01-09-2020, 03:57 AM   #2
Pedernal
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Courts suck in my opinion. Seems to me like they need to evaluate each case on its merits and rule accordingly. The end goal should be that each parent gets to spend time with the kiddos.

Prayers up for your family Sir.
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Old 01-09-2020, 03:58 AM   #3
Tyrex750
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Man, i feel your pain. Mine just took me back for a increase after 12 years, they are trying to double what i pay now. U cant win when it comes to this, so i had to lawyer up and waiting on a court date now.
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:11 AM   #4
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If your a dad and pay your support like your supposed to Texas hoses you. If your a dead beat it takes forever for the system to finally catch up to you. Max child support just went up so my ex is taking me back for another $100 bucks a month for my last year of support which she will get. My grandson is 4 and has not gotten a penny from baby daddy and he has failed to appear 5 times and nothing has happened to him.

Keep your head up those and if you stay single you can easily afford it ;-)
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:38 AM   #5
AntlerCollector
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I paid a little over $200,000 in child support when my two boys were growing up. It sure wasn’t easy.
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:39 AM   #6
hully1029
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AntlerCollector View Post
I paid a little over $200,000 in child support when my two boys were growing up. It sure wasn’t easy.
I'll be pushing that much as well by the time it's all said and done.
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:46 AM   #7
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I pay $1710 a month plus all medical insurance and 1/2 unpaid uncovered medical. That will be going to $1840. Would not be an issue if it actually went to my child.
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:50 AM   #8
hully1029
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Originally Posted by RWB View Post
I pay $1710 a month plus all medical insurance and 1/2 unpaid uncovered medical. That will be going to $1840. Would not be an issue if it actually went to my child.
thats awful.. im sorry man
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Old 01-09-2020, 05:50 AM   #9
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Right there with you....
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:06 AM   #10
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Ha! I pay $3k a month for 1 kid!! 1.5 years more and I get a nice raise!

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Old 01-09-2020, 06:06 AM   #11
Bayouboy
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Child support is nothing more than a second income for many women. And, pay attention to how many start looking to replace that second income with some gullible guy when those kids are nearing the age of 18.
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:15 AM   #12
miket
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I lucked out and got primary custody of my 2 oldest, ( also, when my current wife left for 2yrs I paid voluntarily to avoid any issues ) so I cant personally complain. But there is no question the system is messed up. As said above, if you try to do whats right they hammer you, but if you are a pos they do nothing. Drives me nuts.

On top that, I have known very few that actually use the support for the kids. Its just free extra money. I know a guy that was almost done ( kids graduating ) and his ex asked him to keep paying after the kid left because without it she couldnt pay her bills. She was shocked he wouldnt keep paying anyway. Its unreal.

I dont understand how yall have to pay so much but not have primary custody. IMO if you want primary custody you should be willing to pay 100%. Not saying noncustodial parents shouldnt pay, but if you want primary and deprive the other from their kids, be ready to pay for the kids. I bet a lot more dads would get the kids if mom didnt get free money

For the record, I got primary custody and never tried to get a thing from her. Never received a dime. I got primary, I raised them.

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Old 01-09-2020, 06:20 AM   #13
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Luckily I don’t have to deal with it. My brother is going through a divorce and it’s rough. Last year he worked an exceptional amount of overtime (About $60k over his base pay). Wouldn’t you know they are using that to calculate his child support. He tried to get them to use an average of the last three years and that was a no go. Now she gripes because he’s working as much as he can to pay her and his bills and doesn’t see the kids much. There’s just no good logic behind this stuff sometimes.
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:21 AM   #14
Mayhem
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I do not envy anyone that has to play child support.


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Old 01-09-2020, 06:25 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by PROD49 View Post
Ha! I pay $3k a month for 1 kid!! 1.5 years more and I get a nice raise!

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How do you pay so much? The max in the state of Texas is 1840 for one kid?
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:31 AM   #16
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This ^^^ ??


Beware fellas, Texas will not visit custody without also visiting the money aspect. They won’t look at one without the other. Pandora’s box if you will. Much like the OP, when we got extended standard custody my support was also raised.

More time = more money!? Crazy. TEXAS is a mom state and hoses dads

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Old 01-09-2020, 06:32 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by ca1219 View Post
How do you pay so much? The max in the state of Texas is 1840 for one kid?
Beat me to it. Judges can award more usually it has to be special needs, exceptionally high income etc.
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:33 AM   #18
skeeter
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cheaper to just hide the body real good!
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:33 AM   #19
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There is an old blues song that has a line “it’s cheaper to keep her”.

The divorce system is rigged to screw the man 90% of the time.


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Old 01-09-2020, 07:06 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PROD49 View Post
Ha! I pay $3k a month for 1 kid!! 1.5 years more and I get a nice raise!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ca1219 View Post
How do you pay so much? The max in the state of Texas is 1840 for one kid?


Maybe he was his own lawyer in court
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:09 AM   #21
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I paid CS for my 2 boys for about 12yrs. It was very very tough. I lived in a crappy travel trailer I paid 200/months just so I could live and see my kids every other week. I also had to drive 4hrs to see them. I never missed any of my wknd visits during that time. Man, it was tough, so much so that emotions are stirring up right now as I type this. To this day I don’t know how I made it to be honest, I only know I made through with a lot of prayer and by Grace.
Jeremiah 29:11
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:14 AM   #22
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Gut wrenching man! Mine is 17, almost done with all the BS. You'll get through it, prayers for you!
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:20 AM   #23
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Maybe he was his own lawyer in court

If that's the case, he should fire his attorney!!
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:26 AM   #24
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Texas is slow when it comes to paperwork but very fast when it comes to picking up dads that are behind on child support. I was a jail deputy for Brazos county and had quite a few dads that had been locked up. Granted some of these men were dead beat dads that were only a dad biologically; however, some of these men were working two jobs and still got slammed. I was shocked when I found out that even when your locked up your child support continues to accumulate.
Another true story: way back in the 90,s a friend of mine knocked up a woman 10 years his junior so he married her. Marriage lasted about five years. She got child support and went on to marry the heir apparent of Country Boy sausage.
She drove a new duelly, had everything she wanted.
My friend was reduced to driving throw away cars. He would buy one and literally leave it where it broke down at. Did that for years while he had two dead beat daughters sponging off of him. He died at 65.
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:43 AM   #25
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1st thing my Attorny did was say to me was “ quite trying to make sense of any of this, because it’s the legal system and most of it doesn’t make any sense, and never will have any common sense, so quit trying to think it out “
Sorry to hear about your frustration
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:46 AM   #26
Backwoods101
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Don't look at it as "child support" because we all know the majority doesn't go to the kids...Look at it as money well spent so you don't have to put up with the #%@#$ that is hosing you
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:12 AM   #27
Acameron52
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Ridiculous man. It seems the man always gets the shaft when it comes to that.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:17 AM   #28
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Including insurance I pay $2050.00 a month. 4.5 more yrs for me.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:20 AM   #29
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Pretty simple 20% first child and 5% for each child after the first. If you are paying more than that then you should've done your homework. I paid it for years and now have daughters with deadbeat exe's so I see both sides.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:22 AM   #30
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Go try to get custody and then get paid back!!!
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:23 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deerplanter View Post
Pretty simple 20% first child and 5% for each child after the first. If you are paying more than that then you should've done your homework. I paid it for years and now have daughters with deadbeat exe's so I see both sides.
Unless the judge makes an exception. What you quoted is standard
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:24 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayouboy View Post
Child support is nothing more than a second income for many women. And, pay attention to how many start looking to replace that second income with some gullible guy when those kids are nearing the age of 18.
My ex took me back in May and almost doubled mine then in June my sons tell me she is pregnant with another guys baby. Shes not sure who the dad is. I just about laughed until I could not breath. My sons are just about done in school. One is a junior and one is a senior
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:24 AM   #33
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i do not envy any of yall. i hear nothing but these kinda stories from anyone i know that has paid CS. Even had a couple buddies go after full custody and proved CS wasnt fully being used for he kids and was funding moms lifestyle. Welp not only did he not get full custody but his CS went way way up. He lives up in Iowa which is a "50/50" state. wife never worked so he literally funds 100% of her life and she hasnt had a job since the 80s.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:25 AM   #34
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I pay child support and still provide most of what my kid needs. Like said above, I just look at it as payment to not have to deal with her.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:34 AM   #35
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Brb vasectomy
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:36 AM   #36
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At least you guys pay up. My older two boys "dad" asked to stop paying a while back, not our decision to make. He never did but doesn't care to spend any extra time outside his allotted time the boys, even when we ask him. I respect most dads dealing with the child support issue and understand they get the back hand from the judicial system most times. But there are far to many that do not want or take the responsibility for the children they helped bring into this world. OP good luck with your situation and good on you for stepping up and being there for your kiddos as much as you can in your current situation.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:40 AM   #37
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I got divorced, but not till my son was grown. I can only imagine how hard it would be to take 25% off the top and still try and have a life. That being said, I'm dating a lady with 3 teenage kids. Dang kids today are expensive! They eat non stop, sports, school stuff, select sports, iphones, allowance, fancy clothes, lunch monies......... I'm staying single, and getting snipped just in case!
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:46 AM   #38
ca1219
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My oldest sons mother and I split just a few months after he was born. I paid child support for 12 years, never missed a payment or visit. Even before our custody was set up and she was using my son to control me, I would get him every chance I could. I was working in New Olreans after Katrina hit and she called me up on a weekend that wasnt mine on a Saturday afternoon and said I could have him for a few hours that Sunday. I loaded up, drove the 10 hours back to where she lived so I could spend 2 hours with him. Fast forward 12 years, all he talked about was living with me.... so I decided to do something about it! Spent every penny I had saved to make it happen. He is now 15 and living with me. In the 3 school years he has been with me, his mom has had him no more than 15-20 times. Has not made but maybe 5 of his 100+ games of baseball, not a single football game. I have asked her once to help with his select baseball and was told she couldn't afford it. Keep in kind she wasn't paying me child support and at that time was still collecting child support from me with him living with me.. That was a complete cluster F getting that stopped. Doing the child support thing sucks but just continue to do your part financially and be there, you will see the payoff in the end. It is unfortunate but now my son dreds going over to his mom a lot of the time. My best advice is document everything you do and is done on her part, that way if you ever decide to persue the route of custody. It can be done but courts generally lean towards the mother, especially at the younger ages but the older they get the more voice that child has. I wish you the best... I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, especially for the men that really want to be DADS!
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Old 01-09-2020, 10:10 AM   #39
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Never had to deal with any of this but it sounds horrible. Not sure how people can afford it. If i was in that situation, I'd go for full custody. Do moms get stuck with these same expenses if the dad has the kids? Seems like they get off easy. Such a flawed system.

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Old 01-09-2020, 10:12 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RWB View Post
If your a dad and pay your support like your supposed to Texas hoses you. If your a dead beat it takes forever for the system to finally catch up to you. Max child support just went up so my ex is taking me back for another $100 bucks a month for my last year of support which she will get. My grandson is 4 and has not gotten a penny from baby daddy and he has failed to appear 5 times and nothing has happened to him.

Keep your head up those and if you stay single you can easily afford it ;-)
Nailed it!

Quote:
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I pay $1710 a month plus all medical insurance and 1/2 unpaid uncovered medical. That will be going to $1840. Would not be an issue if it actually went to my child.
All I'll say about the highlighted is this...kids aren't stupid. The day of reckoning will come if you do your part. Keep your nose clean, don't speak ill of their mother, pay your CS, and spend every moment with your kids that you can and make it quality time. I had my daughter every weekend and she never heard me say one bad thing about her mother. The same couldn't be said from the other side it didn't take long before she figured out that I cared more about her than I did myself, and its paid off in so many ways in the last 15 years. She is now approaching her mid twenties, is in college after taking a few years off to travel on the cheap (basically ended up hobo'ing across the country to see places that she wanted to before she settled down), is dating a young man who she has known since high school...and when she needs advice, she calls me. I've had more than a few of her friends tell me "she respects you greatly for being the man you've been in front of her, being one of the few people that she could count on and rely on"

I don't say that to pat myself on the back, I feel that I have failed miserably as a father all too many times...I just want to encourage you fellas to not focus on the money (it sucks, I know all too well), but instead to focus on your kids and invest quality time in them and you'll reap the dividends as they get older and realize the truth of life
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Old 01-09-2020, 10:15 AM   #41
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Nailed it!



All I'll say about the highlighted is this...kids aren't stupid. The day of reckoning will come if you do your part. Keep your nose clean, don't speak ill of their mother, pay your CS, and spend every moment with your kids that you can and make it quality time. I had my daughter every weekend and she never heard me say one bad thing about her mother. The same couldn't be said from the other side it didn't take long before she figured out that I cared more about her than I did myself, and its paid off in so many ways in the last 15 years. She is now approaching her mid twenties, is in college after taking a few years off to travel on the cheap (basically ended up hobo'ing across the country to see places that she wanted to before she settled down), is dating a young man who she has known since high school...and when she needs advice, she calls me. I've had more than a few of her friends tell me "she respects you greatly for being the man you've been in front of her, being one of the few people that she could count on and rely on"

I don't say that to pat myself on the back, I feel that I have failed miserably as a father all too many times...I just want to encourage you fellas to not focus on the money (it sucks, I know all too well), but instead to focus on your kids and invest quality time in them and you'll reap the dividends as they get older and realize the truth of life

You sir completely GET IT!
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Old 01-09-2020, 10:18 AM   #42
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There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Mine just ended last June. I Blocked her number on my phone and bought a new boat.
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Old 01-09-2020, 10:28 AM   #43
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3:30AM thoughts.. I sold my home and moved closer to my kids, I changed jobs to be provide better for my family, I spend THOUSANDS of dollars to get to see my kids more.. I go to court and behold, I get more time, yet my child support goes UP. So, let me get this straight.. I get MORE time, yet I pay MORE.. so now I have work more, to make up for the lost wages, and that's less time I get to see the kids that I was just awarded.. cant win for losing..

sorry, just needed to vent a little.. gets pretty lonely with nothing but your thoughts working nights..
Your story sounds like most of ours. Hang in there.
Vent here not in front of your kids. They will figure it out as they get older and its a good day when they let you know about it.
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Old 01-09-2020, 10:30 AM   #44
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There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Mine just ended last June. I Blocked her number on my phone and bought a new boat.

I can't figure out which move was more satisfying...
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Old 01-09-2020, 01:35 PM   #45
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My suggestion:

Make sure you attend the correct wedding.
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Old 01-09-2020, 01:37 PM   #46
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My suggestion:

Make sure you attend the correct wedding.
Deep Thoughts by gingib
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Old 01-09-2020, 02:15 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by TxDispatcher View Post
Nailed it!



All I'll say about the highlighted is this...kids aren't stupid. The day of reckoning will come if you do your part. Keep your nose clean, don't speak ill of their mother, pay your CS, and spend every moment with your kids that you can and make it quality time. I had my daughter every weekend and she never heard me say one bad thing about her mother. The same couldn't be said from the other side it didn't take long before she figured out that I cared more about her than I did myself, and its paid off in so many ways in the last 15 years. She is now approaching her mid twenties, is in college after taking a few years off to travel on the cheap (basically ended up hobo'ing across the country to see places that she wanted to before she settled down), is dating a young man who she has known since high school...and when she needs advice, she calls me. I've had more than a few of her friends tell me "she respects you greatly for being the man you've been in front of her, being one of the few people that she could count on and rely on"

I don't say that to pat myself on the back, I feel that I have failed miserably as a father all too many times...I just want to encourage you fellas to not focus on the money (it sucks, I know all too well), but instead to focus on your kids and invest quality time in them and you'll reap the dividends as they get older and realize the truth of life

This is exactly how I am approaching it. I know how smart my daughter is and she tells me things that I don't ask about and it tells me she knows what is really going on.
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Old 01-09-2020, 03:03 PM   #48
JLivi1224
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Phenomenal advice above.

Life has a way of telling the truth.
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Old 01-09-2020, 03:08 PM   #49
Hoggslayer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JHT View Post
I can't figure out which move was more satisfying...
I danced a jig when I block her number.
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Old 01-09-2020, 03:13 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by Hoggslayer View Post
I danced a jig when I block her number.
Hell, I might dance naked in the road when I get to block my ex's number.
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