Child support = depression

[Graysonhogs]

I have never had to pay child support so I have not been through what most of you guys have.

However there is the other side of the coin. My daughter had 2 kids with her EX - divorced now for ten years. He is the poster child for a deadbeat Dad - does not pay his support or help in anyway with the kids but he gets them for half of the time. My daughter and her husband pay the kids insurance, clothes, and everything else you can think of that kids need growing up. The Ex does not pay squat.

We have taken him to court multiple times with the AG's office but all they do is threaten him but never back it up. He is currently thousands of dollars behind in support and will never be held accountable.

So my daughter and her current husband (who works two jobs to make ends meet) are raising and paying everything for my EX deadbeat SIL's two kids.

Again - two sides to every story

IMO it should all be based off of percentages pure and simple.

Consider this - If you were not divorced you would be be paying all these cost for your children. So if you have 50-50 custody then you should pay 50% of the children's expenses.

This isn’t another side of the coin, it’s an entirely different coin.


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[CEO]

I know this is an old post but OP I hope all is well. I know of too many guys in that situation.

As a married guy with kids my advice to all young men is don't get married. It goes south 50% of the time, and almost 100% of that time the guy is getting the shaft. If kids are involved you're really about to be taken to the cleaners.

As far as the deadbeat dad comments; I have an in-law with three kids by three different guys. They are all between 10 and 14 and not one cent of child support has ever been paid. The common denominator, this in-law only dates absolute morons. If some dude has a job, no felony record, and wakes up before noon you better swipe left on her because you have no shot. Although, she's nearing 30 so I look for her to find a regular guy who can pay the bills soon.

[sharpstick35]

several guys i work with have children from different marriages. they make over 100k a year and have to live in a travel trailer just to support 3 baby mama's.

[jer_james]

I have paid child support for 11 years now. I will never understand it. I got them 50/50 until they started school and somehow it was determined that they needed to be with their Mom an extra day a week after that.

The system is flawed towards good Men.

I have also raised 2 step Daughters who have not received a dime in the last 7 years I have been in the picture. AG has it on record, but they dont do a thing.

[RifleBowPistol]

several guys i work with have children from different marriages. they make over 100k a year and have to live in a travel trailer just to support 3 baby mama's.

This does not surprise me at all.

[bloodtrailer28]

Going through Divorce now!! My trial hearing is 28 July. She abandoned me and the kids 1.5 years ago. Owes me a lot of back support. I hope it goes well for us. I don’t want to have to sell my house in this market or buy!!!

Sorry to hear that NC and hope things get better for you amigo.

[CoolHandLuke]

several guys i work with have children from different marriages. they make over 100k a year and have to live in a travel trailer just to support 3 baby mama's.

Poor decisions have consequences… the system is fubar though but it’s not an excuse. Marriage is difficult so choose wisely.

[RifleBowPistol]

My best friend for years, had to pay child support, he got taken to the cleaners from day one. He and his crazy, nut job, ex-wife, split up, when their son was about a year old. So he got hammered by child support, for about as long as you can get hammered.

His ex knew about every trick in the book and made up a few of her own, every time she wanted a big fat pay raise. Her favorite game was to take their son to the doctor or buy some new insurance on the son. Then not tell his father that she had done so. She would not let him know about doctor bills or any other expenses he was supposed to be paying on top of child support. So she would stack those up and wait multiple months. Then take him back to court, usually right after she knew he was making more money, or any time she wanted more fun money.

So she would get him back in court, then cry for the judge, and tell these horrible stories about how horrible of a father he was to his only son. The son he loved so much and would do anything for, in reality. Then she would show the judge, all of the old bills she was burdened with. Then tell her stories of how bad he was. The judge would rip him a new one, and award her whatever she wanted. That's the way it went the whole 17 years of him paying child support.

On the other side of the story, she is bipolar, can be the biggest ***** you ever met, if you get on her bad side. She used to use drugs, at least when, their son was younger. I went to her place to pick their son up on occasions and saw what she was looking like. I could not believe the court thought the kid was safer with her, than him, after what I saw. Multiple times she was pretty messed up on something when we got there, I was glad we were getting the kid out of there. But then he had to take the kid back, when his time was up.

Then that was another thing she used against him, was him returning their son. She set him up multiple times, claiming he kept their son, much longer than he was supposed to and it caused her to worry and caused other problems, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. That was another way she painted him as a bad person to the court or judge. She set him up on those deals, and told him he could keep their son longer, because she had things she needed to do and did not want their son at that point. But then when his time was up, she would conveniently, would have witnesses there, with her, when he did not return their son. Usually they would be 200 miles away, when she started calling, demanding he return their son, immediately. She knew they were 200 miles away, because he told her what they were going to be doing and when.

Eventually, the judge set it up, where the handing over of the son, was done with a officer there at the time. So there was no, you can keep him longer set up. Then there were other times, before they had to do the turning over of the son, with a officer present, that she refused to let him have his son, when she was supposed to.

I think he was supposed to get their son on Friday, at a certain time, then bring him back on Sunday, at a certain time. So he was supposed to have the son on the weekends. One Saturday night, she was on something, don't know what. My buddy was at the house, with another buddy, then both of them had their sons there. We were cooking fajitas that night and hanging out, outside. The kids were having fun, we were BSing. Then some car drives up the driveway. The driveway was 1/2 mile long. So we could see it coming from a long ways. Did not know who it was, nobody had permission to be there. Eventually she rolled up to the house, extremely POed, and wanted her son.

The whole deal was, she was lonely, depressed, using drugs and was at home by herself. While her ex and her son were out enjoying themselves. So she decided she was going to mess up everyone's fun, take her son and make him stay at home with her.

She was told by the three adults, it was his father's time with his son and she did not have the right to take him. She went off on her ex, he tried to stay away from her, because she was trying to start a fight, with him. I am sure she was hoping he would hit her. There was no way he would have. So she went after the other buddy and started punching him as hard as she could. She is pretty good sized, tall and strong,, big boned. Had she been punching most normal guys, she would have laid them out, with the punches she was throwing.
So I jumped in and told her she was tress passing, was not invited, had no right to her son, that weekend and needed to leave immediately. She got in my face and started yelling at me. I made it clear to her, I was not going to tolerate her crap, she was in the wrong and I was standing my ground.

During this whole ordeal, that lasted about fifteen minutes, she grabbed their son by the wrist and literally slung him into the car, on three ocasions. He was probably 8 to 10 years old at the time. She would toss him in the car, then go back after one of my buddies, either her ex or the other buddy. While she was in someone's face yelling at them, or throwing punches, the other buddy's sons would get her son out of the car and take him back to the house. That really fired her up. That happened about three times in the whole ordeal. I finally decided to call the sheriff's office and have her arrested, at that point she finally left, with her son.

So there were multiple witnesses to that deal, but my buddy was never able to tell that story to the judge or any other negative stories to the judge, about her. She had the judge convinced he was a horrible person, who lied, was a dead beat, ECT. So the judge would not hear anything he had to say about his ex. I personally saw her stoned pretty badly multiple times, when she had their son. The judge never got to hear any of that info, would not listen to any of it. In later years, she either quit using drugs or got better at hiding her drug usage. I never saw her looking like she did, for the first ten years or so, after the divorce. She was the one who wanted the divorce, she was messing around with other guys at the time, and using drugs. She decided she liked that life and did not want any part of her husband. So she filed for a divorce.

She was living very well, while she was getting child support all those years. She went on trips, vacations all the time, went on cruises, I would bet twice a year. She was not happy about losing her big fat child support checks.

When their son turned eighteen, he moved to live with his father. When his son moved in with him, his monthly expenses dropped a lot. They went and did all types of stuff together, with the money that was not going to his ex.

[Graysonhogs]

Poor decisions have consequences… the system is fubar though but it’s not an excuse. Marriage is difficult so choose wisely.

I'm sure everyone has believed they have chosen wisely. Crazy is a time release affliction sometimes. Plus with a less than 50% chance of making it, it's a crap shoot(pun intended) , no matter how carefully you choose. When some women know that they can basically have they same lifestyle post divorce, it makes for a convenient escape vehicle. Just my opinion.

[BrianL]

For those that say they are getting a huge raise when the child turns 18 thought about college? Between tuition, room and board, car, insurance, etc you will be lucky to get out for $2500/mth for some time.

[Graysonhogs]

For those that say they are getting a huge raise when the child turns 18 thought about college? Between tuition, room and board, car, insurance, etc you will be lucky to get out for $2500/mth for some time.

Just depends on if you thought ahead or not.


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[NAVY CHIEF]

Thanks Bro

Sorry to hear that NC and hope things get better for you amigo.

Yessir bro. It’s going ok. My girls chose to stay with me! Divorce is a good thing in my case!!!!

[SabineHunter]

For those that say they are getting a huge raise when the child turns 18 thought about college? Between tuition, room and board, car, insurance, etc you will be lucky to get out for $2500/mth for some time.

Nobody says the dad HAS to pay for college. I pay one third of tuition, another third is for the ex, and the final third is the kids responsibility. My choice, not the courts.

[SabineHunter]

My best friend for years, had to pay child support, he got taken to the cleaners from day one. He and his crazy, nut job, ex-wife, split up, when their son was about a year old. So he got hammered by child support, for about as long as you can get hammered.

His ex knew about every trick in the book and made up a few of her own, every time she wanted a big fat pay raise. Her favorite game was to take their son to the doctor or buy some new insurance on the son. Then not tell his father that she had done so. She would not let him know about doctor bills or any other expenses he was supposed to be paying on top of child support. So she would stack those up and wait multiple months. Then take him back to court, usually right after she knew he was making more money, or any time she wanted more fun money.

So she would get him back in court, then cry for the judge, and tell these horrible stories about how horrible of a father he was to his only son. The son he loved so much and would do anything for, in reality. Then she would show the judge, all of the old bills she was burdened with. Then tell her stories of how bad he was. The judge would rip him a new one, and award her whatever she wanted. That's the way it went the whole 17 years of him paying child support.

On the other side of the story, she is bipolar, can be the biggest ***** you ever met, if you get on her bad side. She used to use drugs, at least when, their son was younger. I went to her place to pick their son up on occasions and saw what she was looking like. I could not believe the court thought the kid was safer with her, than him, after what I saw. Multiple times she was pretty messed up on something when we got there, I was glad we were getting the kid out of there. But then he had to take the kid back, when his time was up.

Then that was another thing she used against him, was him returning their son. She set him up multiple times, claiming he kept their son, much longer than he was supposed to and it caused her to worry and caused other problems, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. That was another way she painted him as a bad person to the court or judge. She set him up on those deals, and told him he could keep their son longer, because she had things she needed to do and did not want their son at that point. But then when his time was up, she would conveniently, would have witnesses there, with her, when he did not return their son. Usually they would be 200 miles away, when she started calling, demanding he return their son, immediately. She knew they were 200 miles away, because he told her what they were going to be doing and when.

Eventually, the judge set it up, where the handing over of the son, was done with a officer there at the time. So there was no, you can keep him longer set up. Then there were other times, before they had to do the turning over of the son, with a officer present, that she refused to let him have his son, when she was supposed to.

I think he was supposed to get their son on Friday, at a certain time, then bring him back on Sunday, at a certain time. So he was supposed to have the son on the weekends. One Saturday night, she was on something, don't know what. My buddy was at the house, with another buddy, then both of them had their sons there. We were cooking fajitas that night and hanging out, outside. The kids were having fun, we were BSing. Then some car drives up the driveway. The driveway was 1/2 mile long. So we could see it coming from a long ways. Did not know who it was, nobody had permission to be there. Eventually she rolled up to the house, extremely POed, and wanted her son.

The whole deal was, she was lonely, depressed, using drugs and was at home by herself. While her ex and her son were out enjoying themselves. So she decided she was going to mess up everyone's fun, take her son and make him stay at home with her.

She was told by the three adults, it was his father's time with his son and she did not have the right to take him. She went off on her ex, he tried to stay away from her, because she was trying to start a fight, with him. I am sure she was hoping he would hit her. There was no way he would have. So she went after the other buddy and started punching him as hard as she could. She is pretty good sized, tall and strong,, big boned. Had she been punching most normal guys, she would have laid them out, with the punches she was throwing.
So I jumped in and told her she was tress passing, was not invited, had no right to her son, that weekend and needed to leave immediately. She got in my face and started yelling at me. I made it clear to her, I was not going to tolerate her crap, she was in the wrong and I was standing my ground.

During this whole ordeal, that lasted about fifteen minutes, she grabbed their son by the wrist and literally slung him into the car, on three ocasions. He was probably 8 to 10 years old at the time. She would toss him in the car, then go back after one of my buddies, either her ex or the other buddy. While she was in someone's face yelling at them, or throwing punches, the other buddy's sons would get her son out of the car and take him back to the house. That really fired her up. That happened about three times in the whole ordeal. I finally decided to call the sheriff's office and have her arrested, at that point she finally left, with her son.

So there were multiple witnesses to that deal, but my buddy was never able to tell that story to the judge or any other negative stories to the judge, about her. She had the judge convinced he was a horrible person, who lied, was a dead beat, ECT. So the judge would not hear anything he had to say about his ex. I personally saw her stoned pretty badly multiple times, when she had their son. The judge never got to hear any of that info, would not listen to any of it. In later years, she either quit using drugs or got better at hiding her drug usage. I never saw her looking like she did, for the first ten years or so, after the divorce. She was the one who wanted the divorce, she was messing around with other guys at the time, and using drugs. She decided she liked that life and did not want any part of her husband. So she filed for a divorce.

She was living very well, while she was getting child support all those years. She went on trips, vacations all the time, went on cruises, I would bet twice a year. She was not happy about losing her big fat child support checks.

When their son turned eighteen, he moved to live with his father. When his son moved in with him, his monthly expenses dropped a lot. They went and did all types of stuff together, with the money that was not going to his ex.

I'd say your friend made many mistakes from the get go, including his lawyer. Sounds like he allowed this to happen to him. This wouldn't/ didn't happen to me.

[M16]

My best friend for years, had to pay child support, he got taken to the cleaners from day one. He and his crazy, nut job, ex-wife, split up, when their son was about a year old. So he got hammered by child support, for about as long as you can get hammered.

His ex knew about every trick in the book and made up a few of her own, every time she wanted a big fat pay raise. Her favorite game was to take their son to the doctor or buy some new insurance on the son. Then not tell his father that she had done so. She would not let him know about doctor bills or any other expenses he was supposed to be paying on top of child support. So she would stack those up and wait multiple months. Then take him back to court, usually right after she knew he was making more money, or any time she wanted more fun money.

So she would get him back in court, then cry for the judge, and tell these horrible stories about how horrible of a father he was to his only son. The son he loved so much and would do anything for, in reality. Then she would show the judge, all of the old bills she was burdened with. Then tell her stories of how bad he was. The judge would rip him a new one, and award her whatever she wanted. That's the way it went the whole 17 years of him paying child support.

On the other side of the story, she is bipolar, can be the biggest ***** you ever met, if you get on her bad side. She used to use drugs, at least when, their son was younger. I went to her place to pick their son up on occasions and saw what she was looking like. I could not believe the court thought the kid was safer with her, than him, after what I saw. Multiple times she was pretty messed up on something when we got there, I was glad we were getting the kid out of there. But then he had to take the kid back, when his time was up.

Then that was another thing she used against him, was him returning their son. She set him up multiple times, claiming he kept their son, much longer than he was supposed to and it caused her to worry and caused other problems, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. That was another way she painted him as a bad person to the court or judge. She set him up on those deals, and told him he could keep their son longer, because she had things she needed to do and did not want their son at that point. But then when his time was up, she would conveniently, would have witnesses there, with her, when he did not return their son. Usually they would be 200 miles away, when she started calling, demanding he return their son, immediately. She knew they were 200 miles away, because he told her what they were going to be doing and when.

Eventually, the judge set it up, where the handing over of the son, was done with a officer there at the time. So there was no, you can keep him longer set up. Then there were other times, before they had to do the turning over of the son, with a officer present, that she refused to let him have his son, when she was supposed to.

I think he was supposed to get their son on Friday, at a certain time, then bring him back on Sunday, at a certain time. So he was supposed to have the son on the weekends. One Saturday night, she was on something, don't know what. My buddy was at the house, with another buddy, then both of them had their sons there. We were cooking fajitas that night and hanging out, outside. The kids were having fun, we were BSing. Then some car drives up the driveway. The driveway was 1/2 mile long. So we could see it coming from a long ways. Did not know who it was, nobody had permission to be there. Eventually she rolled up to the house, extremely POed, and wanted her son.

The whole deal was, she was lonely, depressed, using drugs and was at home by herself. While her ex and her son were out enjoying themselves. So she decided she was going to mess up everyone's fun, take her son and make him stay at home with her.

She was told by the three adults, it was his father's time with his son and she did not have the right to take him. She went off on her ex, he tried to stay away from her, because she was trying to start a fight, with him. I am sure she was hoping he would hit her. There was no way he would have. So she went after the other buddy and started punching him as hard as she could. She is pretty good sized, tall and strong,, big boned. Had she been punching most normal guys, she would have laid them out, with the punches she was throwing.
So I jumped in and told her she was tress passing, was not invited, had no right to her son, that weekend and needed to leave immediately. She got in my face and started yelling at me. I made it clear to her, I was not going to tolerate her crap, she was in the wrong and I was standing my ground.

During this whole ordeal, that lasted about fifteen minutes, she grabbed their son by the wrist and literally slung him into the car, on three ocasions. He was probably 8 to 10 years old at the time. She would toss him in the car, then go back after one of my buddies, either her ex or the other buddy. While she was in someone's face yelling at them, or throwing punches, the other buddy's sons would get her son out of the car and take him back to the house. That really fired her up. That happened about three times in the whole ordeal. I finally decided to call the sheriff's office and have her arrested, at that point she finally left, with her son.

So there were multiple witnesses to that deal, but my buddy was never able to tell that story to the judge or any other negative stories to the judge, about her. She had the judge convinced he was a horrible person, who lied, was a dead beat, ECT. So the judge would not hear anything he had to say about his ex. I personally saw her stoned pretty badly multiple times, when she had their son. The judge never got to hear any of that info, would not listen to any of it. In later years, she either quit using drugs or got better at hiding her drug usage. I never saw her looking like she did, for the first ten years or so, after the divorce. She was the one who wanted the divorce, she was messing around with other guys at the time, and using drugs. She decided she liked that life and did not want any part of her husband. So she filed for a divorce.

She was living very well, while she was getting child support all those years. She went on trips, vacations all the time, went on cruises, I would bet twice a year. She was not happy about losing her big fat child support checks.

When their son turned eighteen, he moved to live with his father. When his son moved in with him, his monthly expenses dropped a lot. They went and did all types of stuff together, with the money that was not going to his ex.

Your story reminds me of a young pup telling a story around the campfire. He kept going on and on with every little detail. When I heard an old timer say. Land the **** plane son!