any good disfunctional family christmas stories

[JGreen31]

Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.

That's a big A-hole.... I wouldn't have shot him but I would have showed him why God invented a baseball bat.

[Draco]

[QUOTE=Davoh;109096



Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.[/QUOTE]

You handled that completely wrong when you gave a warning. 6'7" just means he will go down harder when you hit him over the head, from behind, with no warning, with what ever was handy that was very hard and preferably heavy.

I put a BiL in the hospital for 4 days for beating my sister. I couldn't whip him as he was much bigger than me. I beat him with a 1x4 board as that was what was handy. You should have done the same. He needed it, he deserved it, and it would have been an educational experience for him.

[CEO]

Your mom was married to your uncle?

Love knows no bounds my man.

[ShockValue]

Love knows no bounds my man.

Your Dad's brother???....I hope.

[CEO]

Your Dad's brother???....I hope.

Makes the thing with my cousin seem trivial

[Double C]

Before a white elephant exchange, my uncle relentlessly bragged about how his gift contribution was 'worth thousands, but is a really priceless collectable, but ya'll know how I do Christmas"......

Well when my brother ended up with this gift...which was a VW Fast Toy . Uncle kept going on about it, so we looked it up on ebay and it was worth about $10 at the time, but we think he got it for free test driving a VW at the dealership. We confronted him on his bs and he went ape$^** that we disrespected him. What a guy eh? HAHA

[rwurz]

Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.


I'm 5'-4" and Would have been on him like white on rice! That would have been the last time he would have even thought about touching my wife.

[ted_kennedys_liver]

Christmas isn't the same without the po-leece showing up

[Chew]

I was working patrol one christmas. The grandmother at this house had died in her sleep. They covered her with a sheet because they didn't want to call anybody and interrupt the party.

A grandson and grandaughter began arguing over who was getting grandma's refrigerator. Now remember....grandmother is in rigor mortis in the next room. Granddaughter stabs grandson as he is cleaning out the fridge to load it in his truck. She lunged him and he almost died.

I arrested granddaughter after threatening to shoot her and then had to call for a body car and ME investigator for grandma.

Merry Crimmus mofos!

[M.E.B.]

Had one Christmas that I would love to forget.

[Black Ice]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2zyjbH9zzA&sns=em"]A Thanksgiving Miracle - SNL - YouTube[/ame]

[RascalArms]

I was working patrol one christmas. The grandmother at this house had died in her sleep. They covered her with a sheet because they didn't want to call anybody and interrupt the party.

A grandson and grandaughter began arguing over who was getting grandma's refrigerator. Now remember....grandmother is in rigor mortis in the next room. Granddaughter stabs grandson as he is cleaning out the fridge to load it in his truck. She lunged him and he almost died.

I arrested granddaughter after threatening to shoot her and then had to call for a body car and ME investigator for grandma.

Merry Crimmus mofos!

[glen]

Many yeas ago
My parents house. My brother and I have the exact same guns Sig P220. I had done some trigger work and my brother wanted me to work on his. So we cover the pool table with a sheet and take his gun apart and work on it for about an hour. Mom calls for us to come eat. We all go eat and my brother goes and puts his gun back together except for the washer in the grip. He has a habit of dropping on in the pipe closing the action and then seating the magazine. Well he does this except the magazine does not go in because the washer is not in the gun. We look for the washer for about an hour and then give up. He then asks me if I felt his trigger. I pick it up-aim at a dot on the side of the pool table and sqeeze of the round in the chamber. round goes through the pool table down into the carpet goes under a wall and comes up out of the carpet in another room and striking my Mom in the collar bone and then bounced up and landed on my wife's head burning the hair and her scalp.
Well the bullet was a hydro-shock and my Mom's collar bone is bleeding from the exposed point and we are thinking it may have fractured her collarbone. We load up and goto the hospital to have X-rays and my brother being an EMT calls ahead and explains what happened. Return from hospital only to have HPD crime scene all over the house. My Mom starts making plates for the Detectives that are talking to my bother and I. Get done talking to us and then state they are headed to the hospital to interview the gunshot victim. My Mom pipes up and says that she is right here. Detectives leave and a Parol Officer stays around while Crime Scene gets everything. Patrol Officer stays around for a few hours and sits and eats evening meal with family and we even had him say the prayer for the meal. My Mom fixes him a plate of cookies and pie and fixes him a large glass of milk to take with him. Patrol Officer takes plate but refuses milk saying he didn't want to take her container. About 15 minutes later our doorbell rings and it is the Patrol Officer saying everything is closed and he will be happy with a glass of milk. We all laughed and he came in and played cards and spent another hour or two at the house. He stopped by my parents house every Christmas after that until he retired

So I guess we qualify- I shot my Mom and wife on Christmas.

[kumathebear]

Got some probably on the way! All 3 son's are married and their women want to spend ALL the holidays around their family. My middle TBH son put his foot down and said next year they will just spend Christmas at the Deer Lease, lol. My oldest stayed in Houston and that's ok. My youngest, the military one, is having the same thing trying to keep all the in-laws happy-his wife's side.

Susan and I just agreed next year it's either at the Deer lease or Las Vegas...something like that. Then, well, we will just send Sonic gift cards and do our thing..

[curtintex]

Many yeas ago
My parents house. My brother and I have the exact same guns Sig P220. I had done some trigger work and my brother wanted me to work on his. So we cover the pool table with a sheet and take his gun apart and work on it for about an hour. Mom calls for us to come eat. We all go eat and my brother goes and puts his gun back together except for the washer in the grip. He has a habit of dropping on in the pipe closing the action and then seating the magazine. Well he does this except the magazine does not go in because the washer is not in the gun. We look for the washer for about an hour and then give up. He then asks me if I felt his trigger. I pick it up-aim at a dot on the side of the pool table and sqeeze of the round in the chamber. round goes through the pool table down into the carpet goes under a wall and comes up out of the carpet in another room and striking my Mom in the collar bone and then bounced up and landed on my wife's head burning the hair and her scalp.
Well the bullet was a hydro-shock and my Mom's collar bone is bleeding from the exposed point and we are thinking it may have fractured her collarbone. We load up and goto the hospital to have X-rays and my brother being an EMT calls ahead and explains what happened. Return from hospital only to have HPD crime scene all over the house. My Mom starts making plates for the Detectives that are talking to my bother and I. Get done talking to us and then state they are headed to the hospital to interview the gunshot victim. My Mom pipes up and says that she is right here. Detectives leave and a Parol Officer stays around while Crime Scene gets everything. Patrol Officer stays around for a few hours and sits and eats evening meal with family and we even had him say the prayer for the meal. My Mom fixes him a plate of cookies and pie and fixes him a large glass of milk to take with him. Patrol Officer takes plate but refuses milk saying he didn't want to take her container. About 15 minutes later our doorbell rings and it is the Patrol Officer saying everything is closed and he will be happy with a glass of milk. We all laughed and he came in and played cards and spent another hour or two at the house. He stopped by my parents house every Christmas after that until he retired

So I guess we qualify- I shot my Mom and wife on Christmas.

You win.