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Old 07-17-2021, 07:36 AM   #1
Traildust
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Default Bear Attack

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself.

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
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Old 07-17-2021, 07:50 AM   #2
chino
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��
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Old 07-17-2021, 07:57 AM   #3
Drycreek3189
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I had to read that to my wife !
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Old 07-17-2021, 08:34 AM   #4
rg2
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classic
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Old 07-17-2021, 08:43 AM   #5
AntlerCollector
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Old 07-17-2021, 09:01 AM   #6
Mtltx
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Ha!!! That’s awesome
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Old 07-17-2021, 09:11 AM   #7
huntandfishguy6
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Good one
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Old 07-17-2021, 09:35 AM   #8
∆theling
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Im no holy roller but thats funny.
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Old 07-17-2021, 09:40 AM   #9
sasqy
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Good one !
Thank goodness I’m a Christian.
Might come in handy this September.
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Old 07-17-2021, 09:41 AM   #10
MLank
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I laughed.
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:12 AM   #11
ThisLadyHunts
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I love it!
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:23 AM   #12
Hogmauler
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That’s just so wrong! Funny. But wrong!
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:30 AM   #13
Rudyl
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Good one
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:45 AM   #14
TXHUNT3R
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Haha read it to the whole family. Good stuff
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:48 AM   #15
Spearchunker
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Loved and shared
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:51 AM   #16
MagicBlade
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Too funny! But good lesson!
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:55 AM   #17
basskicker24
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Lol.


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Old 07-17-2021, 10:55 AM   #18
SabineHunter
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Another great one by Sam
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Old 07-17-2021, 11:16 AM   #19
CabezaBlanca
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That’s a knee slapper for sure!
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Old 07-17-2021, 01:26 PM   #20
Froggy
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Default Made me think of this old joke

An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
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Old 07-17-2021, 01:36 PM   #21
rolylane6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Froggy View Post
An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
That's awesome!

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Old 07-17-2021, 01:41 PM   #22
zhall
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That is great
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Old 07-17-2021, 04:27 PM   #23
dcbrown
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drycreek3189 View Post
I had to read that to my wife !
Me also!
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Old 07-17-2021, 04:59 PM   #24
Ladder034
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That’s a gooden!
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:08 PM   #25
ByronB
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My Wife and I laughed at that one.
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Old 07-17-2021, 10:23 PM   #26
SabineHunter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Froggy View Post
An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
Good one.
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Old 07-18-2021, 02:58 PM   #27
MisterB
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I don’t care what you say, that’s funny right there.
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Old 07-19-2021, 09:16 PM   #28
Redlegwar
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Thatís funny!


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Old 07-20-2021, 07:18 AM   #29
sandbill
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I got a chuckle out of that
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Old 07-20-2021, 07:34 AM   #30
Mexico
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Old 07-20-2021, 07:52 AM   #31
roberts
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That is a good one.
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Old 07-20-2021, 08:02 AM   #32
PoppinPiggies
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Wow these are hilarious, good start to Tuesday!
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Old 07-20-2021, 08:34 AM   #33
Aggiehunter08
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Lmao!
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Old 07-20-2021, 09:34 AM   #34
aaronwragg
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classic
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Old 07-20-2021, 09:45 AM   #35
HotRod Hunter
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Lol, Thats a good one
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