School situation with my 12 yr old

[HeyMikey]

I hope you didn't interpret what I said to be take whatever is dished. I'm not saying that. I addressed how to handle the meeting, not the bully. A principal would know from me that I'll instruct my kid to take the high road until he has no real, other choice. The bully, and the school, can certainly control how it ultimately ends.

Is the other kid having a meeting too?

^^^^ this........No way that my son's the only one having a meeting, in this situation. At the very least, (politely) put the principal on notice, that this is his chance to make the situation go away, and if he doesn't, you're prepared to go over his head.

[Mudslinger]

I am in the throat punch crowd. In my opinion bullying is on the rise becase we are raising generations of kids who believe it is wrong to fight back or defend themselves. I say this knowng that if your child does go the throat punch route it will most likely have negative repercussions in school but I believe it will be made up in his character and learning to stand up not just for himself but let others know that bad behavior will not be tolerated. Good luck in whatever you do.... the biggest lesson you can share with your son iscthat you have his back and will stand up for him

Also true, but if he does get in the last punch and hurts the kid not only is he facing possible arrest you may be facing a lawsuit in today's time. Should not be that way, but it is what it is!

[Flex]

I am in the throat punch crowd. In my opinion bullying is on the rise becase we are raising generations of kids who believe it is wrong to fight back or defend themselves. I say this knowng that if your child does go the throat punch route it will most likely have negative repercussions in school but I believe it will be made up in his character and learning to stand up not just for himself but let others know that bad behavior will not be tolerated. Good luck in whatever you do.... the biggest lesson you can share with your son iscthat you have his back and will stand up for him

This is true to an extent. Also that these kids literally are not able to comprehend physical actions can happen as a result of what comes out of your mouth and you post online. Completely flat out cannot fathom a physical reaction. Same reason so many are disrespectful to adults now. I'm a big guy, and had several kids at my last job literally bow up and in my face threatening to "throw hands" or whatever. 8th grade boys incapable of realizing what a grown man/athlete would do to them if it happened.

Be respectful, meet with principal, explain that your child is being bullied. Any bullying complaint has to be documented and taken very serious now. Also say if bullying does not cease your son is no longer putting up with it, but he'll take his consequence if it happens.

Good luck.

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[curtintex]

You do this in today's time and your kid will end up in juvenile hall, mark my word! I am telling you form experience as a SE teacher in an elementary school that has seen this happen.

This is HORSE****!!!! I've been on our local school board for 7 years, until recently and a kid might get sent to alternative school at worst, but kids aren't going to Juvie for throwing hands. If so, you work in a crappy district, within a crappy county, with a crappy DA. It's not a direct line from the playground to juvenile hall.

[Mudslinger]

This is HORSE****!!!! I've been on our local school board for 7 years, until recently and a kid might get sent to alternative school at worst, but kids aren't going to Juvie for throwing hands. If so, you work in a crappy district, within a crappy county, with a crappy DA. It's not a direct line from the playground to juvenile hall.

Not up to the school district, but if parents want to file charges against the other student, not much the school district can do about it.
And for your info, it is not a crappy district nor a crappy county nor DA, so just keep it to yourself. You do not live here and do not know what is happening. I agree, but it is what it is today like it or not. And I did not say anything about throwing hands, I said if the student broke a nose or knocked out a tooth or possibly worse. Get off your high horse!
I do not agree with this, but do not tell me how crappy everything is here, you do not have that right!

[1RutNBuc]

Lots of good comments here! This certainly sounds like a case of bullying......however expect a few things:

1. If your son hasn't notified the admin about this prior to him taking a swing, then he is the only "guilty" one at this point. (Can't respond to items you arent aware of)

2. Kids LIE: every kid tells the story to make them the least guilty in the story; details get left out, changed or fabricated almost %100 of the time

3. Ask the admin, and they will anyway, to start a bullying report so that any incidents between your child and this one be documented. This will make all teachers aware of the issue and will help them monitor their interactions.

Its a process and it sucks to have our kids taking the brunt of these things, but this too shall pass and like stated, they will most likely be friends in the end.

Or, he can handle it with his hands, in which case he will have consequences that could lead to an AEP stint; but the bully would probably not want to bother him any longer.

[hogslayer78]

I went through this with my kid in 7th grade also. The bullying got to the point he didnt want to go to school and would make up reasons not to go. We had a meeting with the principal and we told him that if they couldnt make it stop then my son would handle it himself. He instructed me of there 0 tolerance policy on fighting and I reminded him of there 0 tolerance policy on bullying. Our issue was resolved.

[COOLDAD1]

Almost same situation as we are in. My son who is 12 got slapped by a kid 3 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago the same kid who slapped mine called my kid a faggot. Long story short...... my kid handled the situation and the other kid has a broken collar bone. We are now getting sued and my they are pressing charges with felony assault on my 12 year old.

[Texas8point]

I ready all of these comments and will continue to do so. I am going to have to cherry pick from both sides of the fence but will let you know how it all goes.
I’m a dad so I will stand by my son right or wrong. In saying that I will also steer him in the right direction. I want to throat punch the kid so I can’t blame a 12 yr old for reacting like a 12 yr old.
Yes I requested the other kid/parents attend the meeting.


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[Playa]

Not up to the school district, but if parents want to file charges against the other student, not much the school district can do about it.
And for your info, it is not a crappy district nor a crappy county nor DA, so just keep it to yourself. You do not live here and do not know what is happening. I agree, but it is what it is today like it or not. And I did not say anything about throwing hands, I said if the student broke a nose or knocked out a tooth or possibly worse. Get off your high horse!
I do not agree with this, but do not tell me how crappy everything is here, you do not have that right!

I find it hard to believe Matt Powell is going to pursue charges on a minor for a school yard fight, unless there is a history of it. And I do live here, know Matt personally, and grew up in your district

[Hunting4fun]

Almost same situation as we are in. My son who is 12 got slapped by a kid 3 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago the same kid who slapped mine called my kid a faggot. Long story short...... my kid handled the situation and the other kid has a broken collar bone. We are now getting sued and my they are pressing charges with felony assault on my 12 year old.

This is why the "throat punch" crowd is wrong even though you should be able to defend yourself. Your kid will end up being the bad guy. You have to play the game. Tell the school that your visit and all the problems are being documented and you probably will have to take your kid to therapy. He can't function and his grades are slipping. Tell them you may have to retain a lawyer to offset the therapy costs if you cant afford to pay...ect ect ect. Put the ball in their court and make them sweat. I can guarantee you they won't let that bully within 100 ft of your son. Make sure you tell them that you have every single action with the bully and the school meetings documented. Even if you dont.

[TN_boy]

Ask for a hard copy of the districts No Bullying Policy.
Read it while in his office. Take notes, ask questions, and follow the guidelines for reporting and addressing the issues.
Have your son file a complaint everytime he is bullied.

[TN_boy]

Even if it is every day. Have him document it with an ink pen in a notebook and have it signed off on each time he files a bullying complaint.

[Mudslinger]

I find it hard to believe Matt Powell is going to pursue charges on a minor for a school yard fight, unless there is a history of it. And I do live here, know Matt personally, and grew up in your district

A student puts a kid in the hospital or a visit to a doctor for a broken nose, knocked out tooth or worse, what do you think the parents of that student are going to do. Just wave it off as childs play? Honestly in today's world, parents are going to file charges and sue the crap out of folks.

Where in the hell did I say matt was gong to pursue charges or if it would go that far, but who is going to say the parents of the injured child would not do this. Just being cautious, not saying it would happen, but there is always that chance.

I had to have a 3rd grader handcuffed and taken off to juvi for assaulting and hurting one of my aides one year. No charges were filed, but he was arrested, handcuffed and hauled off.

[Mudslinger]

How long has it been since some of y9ou have been in an elementary school and looked at the size of some of these kids? I have 2 in my unit that are as big if not bigger than I am and one for sure is. I am 6' and 200#'s and no way could I restrain them without one of us getting hurt! Some of these kids, probably held back at least 1 year, are monsters and could do some serious damage. The one kid I have that is way bigger than I am could very easily break a leg on me or my TA's or a teacher if he kicks you just right. He can kick a hole in an OSB wall with no problem and I have seen him do it!