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    School situation with my 12 yr old

    So my son who is 12 / 7th grade gets walked to the car today by one of the school staff.
    He’s a good kid, good grades, never any trouble. I’m an older, an old school dad so my advice is what I know and grew up with.
    Anyway, fast forward to today. He gets in the car and he is mad to the point of tears. A class mate who likes to throw verbal jabs stepped up his game today and was blazing him with names.
    My son took a swing at him, but didn’t connect.
    I have always told my son to keep his cool, catch him in the bathroom and see what he’s made of..... he didn’t do that and now I have a meeting with the principal.
    I really want to keep my cool but the other kid is making a habit of picking on my son. Any advice on how I should (not how I want) handle this situation?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    #2
    If I were you, I'd go in with a healthy dose of humility. Whether you like it or not, your kid was wrong and, as you pointed out, needed to keep his cool. Point out what you believe led your kid to that point, but take responsibility for his actions in spite of the way it was started. Had he connected and hurt the kid, you likely wouldn't be afforded an opportunity for this meeting. Be thankful you're getting it.

    I hope that doesn't sound like a tiptoe around the issue, but guns blazing often results in returned fire. Don't subject yourself and your kid to that.

    Comment


      #3
      Been there done that. We told ours to throat punch the bully.

      The name calling quit when my wife and i told the principal our son was gonna take matters into his own hands since the attempts to do it correctly were not answered.



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        #4
        You should handle it like an adult. Explain that your son isn't gonna get picked on without stopping it himself. Chances are the principal will agree...that happened to me. If there are consequences, accept them and use it as a teaching moment. He broke the rules for the right reason....accept the discipline and move on. If it happens again, he should take the same action and deal with the same consequences. Chances are good that your son and the other kid will end up friends someday. I've seen it happen a bunch of times. Adults make kid problems way worse than they have to be.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Casey View Post
          If I were you, I'd go in with a healthy dose of humility. Whether you like it or not, your kid was wrong and, as you pointed out, needed to keep his cool. Point out what you believe led your kid to that point, but take responsibility for his actions in spite of the way it was started. Had he connected and hurt the kid, you likely wouldn't be afforded an opportunity for this meeting. Be thankful you're getting it.

          I hope that doesn't sound like a tiptoe around the issue, but guns blazing often results in returned fire. Don't subject yourself and your kid to that.


          I will definitely take the humble approach in the meeting but the other kid isn’t going away.
          I find it difficult to ask my child to be this kids verbal punching bag.
          I do not want a physical altercation, but no kid should be asked to just take it. Or should they ? Just eat whatever this kid feeds you for as long as he chooses to do it ?


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

          Comment


            #6
            Just remember and tell your kid, at age 12, they can be arrested and spend time in the juvenile justice system and come out with a record. If he had connected and blackened an eye, knocked a tooth out or maybe worse, the other parents can have charges filed.
            Tell the principal of the BULLYING, and that is what is taking place from the other child, and tell him you take responsibility for your son's action, but if it keeps up and the principal does nothing about the BULLYING from the other kid, another visit with a more stern approach is needed. Zero tolerance on BULLYING should be upheld.
            Do not tell your son to retaliate in the bathroom or wherever because he will be the one getting put in cuffs, not the other kid. Frustrating I know but protect your child and keep after the principal and if he or she does nothing, go up the ladder!

            Comment


              #7
              Edit: I don't have kids so I shouldn't be giving advice. Hope the situation is resolved sooner rather than later.

              Comment


                #8
                make sure both boys are in the office andl let the bully know you give permission to your son to stomp and mud hole in him next time he starts up again, done this twice, there was never a next time

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Casey View Post
                  If I were you, I'd go in with a healthy dose of humility. Whether you like it or not, your kid was wrong and, as you pointed out, needed to keep his cool. Point out what you believe led your kid to that point, but take responsibility for his actions in spite of the way it was started. Had he connected and hurt the kid, you likely wouldn't be afforded an opportunity for this meeting. Be thankful you're getting it.

                  I hope that doesn't sound like a tiptoe around the issue, but guns blazing often results in returned fire. Don't subject yourself and your kid to that.
                  The only part I disagree with is that his 'kid was wrong'. What do you expect him to do? Sit there and wear it? Boys will be boys. No need to go in to meeting with guns blazing, but I sure hope the other participant and his family have a meeting as well.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Texas8point View Post
                    I will definitely take the humble approach in the meeting but the other kid isn’t going away.
                    I find it difficult to ask my child to be this kids verbal punching bag.
                    I do not want a physical altercation, but no kid should be asked to just take it. Or should they ? Just eat whatever this kid feeds you for as long as he chooses to do it ?


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                    I hope you didn't interpret what I said to be take whatever is dished. I'm not saying that. I addressed how to handle the meeting, not the bully. A principal would know from me that I'll instruct my kid to take the high road until he has no real, other choice. The bully, and the school, can certainly control how it ultimately ends.

                    Is the other kid having a meeting too?

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I am in the throat punch crowd. In my opinion bullying is on the rise becase we are raising generations of kids who believe it is wrong to fight back or defend themselves. I say this knowng that if your child does go the throat punch route it will most likely have negative repercussions in school but I believe it will be made up in his character and learning to stand up not just for himself but let others know that bad behavior will not be tolerated. Good luck in whatever you do.... the biggest lesson you can share with your son iscthat you have his back and will stand up for him

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Mudslinger View Post
                        Just remember and tell your kid, at age 12, they can be arrested and spend time in the juvenile justice system and come out with a record. If he had connected and blackened an eye, knocked a tooth out or maybe worse, the other parents can have charges filed.
                        Tell the principal of the BULLYING, and that is what is taking place from the other child, and tell him you take responsibility for your son's action, but if it keeps up and the principal does nothing about the BULLYING from the other kid, another visit with a more stern approach is needed. Zero tolerance on BULLYING should be upheld.
                        Do not tell your son to retaliate in the bathroom or wherever because he will be the one getting put in cuffs, not the other kid. Frustrating I know but protect your child and keep after the principal and if he or she does nothing, go up the ladder!
                        Aaaaaand this is what’s wrong with the world. A fella can’t get into a fistfight without fear of being arrested.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I had to tell my kids to eat it. My oldest did for years until he ducked a punch and hit a kid on the button turning the lights out. He was at home a few days but all on camera and everyone knew he was defending himself. My youngest was getting picked on and stuck his chin out and said “pus- y hit me and I’ll finish it”. Kid had to hit him at that point and my kid put him in headlock and finished it. I wasn’t upset with the first but the second younger kid learned just because he didn’t throw 1st punch doesn’t make it right. Both kids were suspended. My kids now just shrug it off when kids bump their gums

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by hoghunter69 View Post
                            make sure both boys are in the office andl let the bully know you give permission to your son to stomp and mud hole in him next time he starts up again, done this twice, there was never a next time
                            You do this in today's time and your kid will end up in juvenile hall, mark my word! I am telling you form experience as a SE teacher in an elementary school that has seen this happen.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by TacticalCowboy View Post
                              Aaaaaand this is what’s wrong with the world. A fella can’t get into a fistfight without fear of being arrested.
                              Agreed 100%!

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