Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

6th Grader Rant

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    6th Grader Rant

    No where else to vent this stuff so here I go...

    We've got a good kid. 12 years old, very athletic, funny, smart, etc. Makes A's in school, plays select baseball, hunts & fishes, goes to church.

    Unfortunately, he is pushing mom and me over the edge with attitude, disrespect and general not give a s***. Mostly in the last year (6th grade) Seems like he lives in an unhappy, borderline angry state. Doesn't get in trouble (never been to principle), don't think he gets in fights that I know of, gets along with others on baseball team fine. Not a bully to my knowledge. Smarts off a lot. The real downside is he often has a negative attitude. Sometimes, its angry, sometimes its disrespectful, sometimes its just discontent for everything and seems to focus on negatives a lot. Sort of thinks everyone is out to get him, i.e. teacher doesn't like him, coach yells at him more than others...oh, and he has a passion for twisting the actual story as it happened..

    We constantly try to reinforce positives and punish regularly and consistently for the problems above, but doesn't seem to have much effect.

    We are assuming this is a little bit normal for a 12 year old boy, but dang. Lot going on at that age I know. I am sure this is part of a phase that they go through but trying our nerve is an understatement.

    Thanks for listening.

    #2
    I have 4 boys and it is normal to a point. I saw it more in the puberty years and time leading up to puberty. If he is a early bloomer you may be seeing it now. Some boys hit that hormone influx early and just don’t know what to do with it. Mine just went completely stupid for about a year and half. My other three haven’t hit puberty yet but thank god I already know what to look for.

    I was an angry kid, but I was a product of divorce. Just be sure you communicate on his level and everyday keep those lines of communication open. Do your best to ensure him nothing is off limits to talk about and everything he is and does is normal.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    Comment


      #3
      Mind if I ask how you are punishing him?

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by erikm1981 View Post
        I have 4 boys and it is normal to a point. I saw it more in the puberty years and time leading up to puberty. If he is a early bloomer you may be seeing it now. Some boys hit that hormone influx early and just don’t know what to do with it. Mine just went completely stupid for about a year and half. My other three haven’t hit puberty yet but thank god I already know what to look for.

        I was an angry kid, but I was a product of divorce. Just be sure you communicate on his level and everyday keep those lines of communication open. Do your best to ensure him nothing is off limits to talk about and everything he is and does is normal.


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
        I also have a 6th grader. Will be 12 in May. Similar story. He has hit puberty. Has hair growing in places that his mom and I weren't ready for. He has also grown a few inches this year. Definitely hormones.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by jer_james View Post
          Mind if I ask how you are punishing him?
          I knew that question would come up...don't mind it. I realize there are many different takes on this.

          I was whipped as a kid. Heck, my mom would make me pick a switch and dad had both a paddle and many belts...I responded pretty dang well to it.

          I whipped him until a few years ago as I felt that he was NOT responding well to it and I was concerned that I was making things worse. Decided to back down and began grounding him.

          Comment


            #6
            Stimulate his mind through his behind!!!!

            worked on the one I have in College and works on my now 12 year old 6th grader.

            I also talked to them about moods and let them know that no matter what mood they are in, it is no excuse for being a Richard head...

            Comment


              #7
              Sounds allot like my boy. 6th grade also. He is a different beast with his mom than he is with me.
              Give it a few minutes and a few will be along with blaming your parenting, modern times and liberals/democrats. You know the fallback when you really got nothing to add.
              We do have consequences when it happens and it hurts the most when it comes to electronics, video games etc. He is starting to get the message and things are improving. It also has helped that mom is starting to stick to her guns and not giving in too much.
              For now.......

              Comment


                #8
                He may possibly be depressed. Yes, childhood depression is a thing...and it is real.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Or possibly being a spoiled brat. Seems like everything else he is great at. I'm by no means a professional at this sort of thing but disrespect to parent and elders requires a whooping. Of course doctors will try everything else including meds. The way I see it he is kicking butt in everything else so maybe he just needs an "adjustment". I have to kids that were the same way and every now and again they received therapy "adjustments" as needed starting at the age of 2 year olds. Both still great kids and never would they ever even consider being disrespectful to me or their mom. One is 26 in med school and the other is about to graduate HS. Good luck to you brother. Prayers to you and your family.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I've got four girls, so you're preaching to the choir about hormones. I don't have boys, but I was one. The overall pissy attitude is probably normal. The disrespect is not. Disrespect is something that you should have zero tolerance for. If he hates his life now, he'd really hate it when I took away Select Baseball, electronics, free time and anything else he enjoys. 12 years old is old enough to handle punishment more severe than a spanking. Let him suffer real consequences and I bet you'll see real results. My girls gotta get tuned up every now and then. They fight and argue, smart mouth their momma a little bit, complain about teachers, etc. When I declare ZERO TOLERANCE, they know that I mean it. The twins are 14 and went the month of February without their beloved phones. It almost killed them, but it didn't bother me in the least. I'm not here to make them like me. I'm here to make sure the rest of the world can like them. Be firm. That is one of the things I appreciate the most about my own dad...his unwillingness to bend his expectations for his children.

                    All that said, parenting is hard. All parents and kids are different and whatever advice you get will probably be things that you already know. Good luck.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by buck40 View Post
                      I knew that question would come up...don't mind it. I realize there are many different takes on this.

                      I was whipped as a kid. Heck, my mom would make me pick a switch and dad had both a paddle and many belts...I responded pretty dang well to it.

                      I whipped him until a few years ago as I felt that he was NOT responding well to it and I was concerned that I was making things worse. Decided to back down and began grounding him.
                      No criticism at all! I have done the same with my kiddos. In order for me to make a difference physically, I would have to leave some marks on my 11 yr old Son, and I'm not willing to do that. I'm also not going to whip my almost 13 yr old Daughters.

                      I just asked because sometimes I think the isolation of grounding and electronics kind of creates attitude and some negative reactions.

                      I'd try some different forms of punishment that involve physical activity. Do some push ups / pull ups. We had a stack of bricks that they would move from one side of the yard to the other. Be there to encourage them during it. Show them you're not just being a jerk, haha.

                      And some people may hate it, but doing something positive to reinforce the positive stuff works really well for my youngest. My Son and youngest Daughter LOVE the physical stuff so that doesnt have the right affect that I'm looking for, lol. Every time there is a good reaction or positive note, reward him for it. Throw in a little extra and that could be a good incentive to repeat that action / activity.

                      Even torture studies show that positive interactions get more response than negative. It's science and the brain. The positive stuff also makes them more open to communication, which is exactly what you want as they get older. Even if it is bad, I WANT TO KNOW.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'd take a hard look at his friends. Especially the ones that you barely know. Bad friends can bring down a kid faster than anything. Especially since he probably spends more time with them than you due to school.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          It’s normal. 4 kids here and 2 are boys.
                          They go through phases of it.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by rladner View Post
                            I also have a 6th grader. Will be 12 in May. Similar story. He has hit puberty. Has hair growing in places that his mom and I weren't ready for. He has also grown a few inches this year. Definitely hormones.
                            I understand hormones but disrespect .hell naw...

                            Comment


                              #15
                              IMO, bad attitude & disrespect = whooping

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X