Moving spouses parent in advice

[Rubberdown]

Well. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. The possibility exists that my wife's mother might have to move in with us in our tiny 3 bedroom house in the next 6 months. Alzheimer is a M-Fer. I am sure this can be stressful for everyone. We have a 2.5 year old. I have no experience with this kind of thing. My wife tells me I don't like anyone, I can be a real ****, and I am set in my ways. She is probably right.

What are common issues, common fixes, whatever that come along with this? What are things we can do to make this impact on our lives easier?

Heck I don't know. Advise me. Pray for me. Tell me its going to be ok!

[panhandlehunter]

Prayers up for you. I couldn’t imagine moving my MIL in. I’d end up in jail for murder.

[Rubberdown]

I like/love her to death and don't mind hanging out at all. She raised me an amazing wife, and has been an amazing Grandma. So, whatever it is, it is for as long as we can do it.

That being said, I'm sure living together changes your relationship.

[curtintex]

Mine will be moved in by Dec 1. Dementia is a *****. Jen and I were 3 years from being empty nesters, and now we’ve got a new responsibility. My MIL loves me and has always treated me very good. I aim to do the same by her. She has nobody else. We can afford the financial burden and she flat out asked me to never put her in a facility. I promised as long as we could, we would. It won’t be easy, but we’ll all manage. I also aim to make sure that our kids NEVER have to do the same.


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[7sdad]

My mother has lived with me for 13 1/2 years and has the beginnings of Alzheimer. Just remember when she argues with you and she will that it's really not her talking and she won't remember what is said 10 minutes from now. Best of luck to you and your not alone.

[tps7742]

Prayers up for your MIL and your Family. Y’all have some tough decisions ahead for each you. Of course you want what’s best for your MIL but first and foremost what is best for your immediate family. Sometimes we aren’t equipped to take care of our parents at home.

For the ones that have parents with them I commend you it does bring stress into a relationship.

[Stick bow]

I would say , when she decides your name is joe one day, Then be joe and the next day she mite not remember joe and call you Ben . Then be Ben, she will argue and ***** about nothing but it’s everything to her. Just listen more than talk Being set in your ways is a state of mind, open up for your families sake. Don’t be a D$@&, really do you want a **** hanging around you? Love what time you have left with her and really take in the conversations you have . Start believing in Karma , it’s real ! One day hopefully along time from now you yourself will need help in some way . Hopefully your child will remember that time when you guys took in a family member in need of support. After life throws you curve balls , we have to learn when to swing.
PS , hide and lock you guns up, she may decide to be Bonnie and Clyde one day.

[DedDuk]

My Dad's mother got dementia and he moved her in with him when he was in his late 50's. It was hell. Made it a couple years but ended up putting her in a home.
He's since made my sister and I promise (his family has long history of dementia) to not move him in with us if he gets it. Put him straight into a home. He doesnt want us to have the experience he had with his Mom.

[tx_basser]

I've made some posts about my dad on here who I had to move into an Assisted Living/Memory Care facility near me, and the struggles with it.. but will say.. if she has the finances to afford moving to a place like that I would strongly suggest it. My dad does best when he is engaging daily with people of his own age group, eating well balanced meals, sleep schedule, medication routine, and trips/activities.

If she doesn't have the financial ability, I feel for you.. but it is a life changing event.

[Lsube0555]

I would say depending on her stage in the disease be prepared to not leave her alone. Once it progresses someone will have to be with her at all times safety thing. My parents are dealing with it now. My grandma can’t be left alone she walks away from the house and wonders. My parents are still working so they tried hiring sitters during the day, they are unable to travel or do anything on the weekends really. It finally got to the point that my grandma was getting bad and mean to the sitters, otherwise she’s healthy as a horse. They had to put her into a memory care place that specializes in Alzheimer’s. Be prepared for the 6 months to turn into a permanent thing and good luck.

[Rubberdown]

Thanks for the advising and prayers fellas

[monsterspike]

Mine will be moved in by Dec 1. Dementia is a *****. Jen and I were 3 years from being empty nesters, and now we’ve got a new responsibility. My MIL loves me and has always treated me very good. I aim to do the same by her. She has nobody else. We can afford the financial burden and she flat out asked me to never put her in a facility. I promised as long as we could, we would. It won’t be easy, but we’ll all manage. I also aim to make sure that our kids NEVER have to do the same.


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do exactly this, with this exact attitude.

i believe that God will bless you Greatly.

[lunatic'hunter]

Sound advice

I would say , when she decides your name is joe one day, Then be joe and the next day she mite not remember joe and call you Ben . Then be Ben, she will argue and ***** about nothing but it’s everything to her. Just listen more than talk Being set in your ways is a state of mind, open up for your families sake. Don’t be a D$@&, really do you want a **** hanging around you? Love what time you have left with her and really take in the conversations you have . Start believing in Karma , it’s real ! One day hopefully along time from now you yourself will need help in some way . Hopefully your child will remember that time when you guys took in a family member in need of support. After life throws you curve balls , we have to learn when to swing.
PS , hide and lock you guns up, she may decide to be Bonnie and Clyde one day.

[Uncle Saggy]

There’s some good advice and actions in these replies.
Alzheimer’s is a ***** and there will be trying times ahead.
Y’all are doing the right thing, remember patience


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[Backwoods101]

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you