How do you tell your wife no?

[Black Ice]

My wife has been hinting about wanting a new house for the last couple of years and we have talked about it but I’ve kept pushing it off. We have looked at a few lots but the lots are expensive and building a house on those lots is crazy expensive. Now she is sending me Zillow links to houses on a weekly basis and I don’t think this is something I can continue to avoid.






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[bphillips]

I’m weird I just say no

[Black Ice]

I’m weird I just say no

Does your wife make as much as you?

I should have said we both work and it’s more like a partnership and I don’t hold any of the cards when it comes to money.


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[bphillips]

Does your wife make as much as you?

I should have said we both work and it’s more like a partnership and I don’t hold any of the cards when it comes to money.


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Nope but I’d still say no if I didnt want to do it yet. Doesn’t change the feeling and I’m not much for sugar coating

[be12hunt]

Even though my wife works and makes decent money, I make the financial decisions. So if it was me I would just explain to her why I would or wouldn’t want to keep looking.
For your instance it might be beneficial to put together some numbers that show the added expenses and whether or not y’all are in a position to take on that added expense. Seeing the actual numbers may help her come to the same conclusion as you.

[Black Ice]

Nope but I’d still say no if I didnt want to do it yet. Doesn’t change the feeling and I’m not much for sugar coating

I have no problem saying no but I’ve been known to be selfish[emoji15]. She rarely questions my expenses for hunting or fishing and lets me travel anywhere at anytime for those activities.


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[be12hunt]

I have no problem saying no but I’ve been known to be selfish[emoji15]. She rarely questions my expenses for hunting or fishing and lets me travel anywhere at anytime for those activities.


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My wife is the same way which makes it pretty easy to deal with. At the same time she is also very content with our house, vehicles and general lifestyle so that also helps.

[Black Ice]

Even though my wife works and makes decent money, I make the financial decisions. So if it was me I would just explain to her why I would or wouldn’t want to keep looking.

For your instance it might be beneficial to put together some numbers that show the added expenses and whether or not y’all are in a position to take on that added expense. Seeing the actual numbers may help her come to the same conclusion as you.

I ran the numbers tonight on the home she wants with the current interest and down payment and it’s double what we currently spend.


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[Pedernal]

Have you talked to her about this particular thing and do you folks discuss financial plans?? I am not married so take this for what it's worth but it seems to me like to many people just don't sit down and talk about stuff like this. New is nice but is it really necessary?? You obviously don't believe the added expenditure is worth taking on at this time for a reason. Talk to her and don't let her get you in a hammock...

JK about the very last part

[Black Ice]

Have you talked to her about this particular thing and do you folks discuss financial plans?? I am not married so take this for what it's worth but it seems to me like to many people just don't sit down and talk about stuff like this. New is nice but is it really necessary?? You obviously don't believe the added expenditure is worth taking on at this time for a reason. Talk to her and don't let her get you in a hammock...



JK about the very last part

Thanks for pouring salt on an old wound[emoji16]


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[cfortner]

Thanks for pouring salt on an old wound[emoji16]

Need Tequila?

May be able to provide limes as well...

[be12hunt]

I personally want to keep my house note less than 20% of my take home pay. This gives me plenty of room to make extra payments to principal and still maintain a lifestyle I want.

Depending on how your wife’s personality is I would either argue one of 2 things.
1. If she’s a “saver” person you can show her some of Dave Ramsey’s blogs on how much you should spend on a mortgage.

2. If she’s more of a “spender” you can show her all the extra money you’ll have in the budget to spend on fun things.

[12RingKing]

Does your wife make as much as you?

I should have said we both work and it’s more like a partnership and I don’t hold any of the cards when it comes to money.


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You could just act like you have a set, and put your foot down.

And yes, my wife makes just as much as I do. But, my wife makes poor purchasing decisions based on emotion not reason. So, I keep her in check

[Duckologist]

Is this for real?

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[BowFed2014]

I don't know how old you are, but I'm 47. I'm already looking towards retirement. At least from my first gig. I would try to sit down with her and crunch the numbers. Showing her that y'all can't go into y'all's golden years comfortable with such large purchase. I might even go see a Finincial Adviser. Hearing it from someone else sometimes helps. Good Luck!!