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Old 10-17-2020, 04:53 PM   #51
Randell
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Heroin and PCP are the worst. He’s gotta figure it out or die.
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Old 10-17-2020, 05:04 PM   #52
Bigfootwolff
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I’m a probation officer, and if we have an offender that wants to seek out and initiate their own inpatient treatment program we would definitely approve the request, especially if it was within Texas. As long as we know where the offender will be residing and get periodic progress updates it should not be a problem, unless he is ordered to remain within a specific county. Then it is just a matter of asking the Court for permission to travel to attend the residential rehab program. I would suspect he will tell you what you want to hear, i.e. I really want to go and get the help I need, but my PO won’t let me. A call to his PO might be helpful. The PO might not give you much specific info about his case due to confidentiality, but he/she can talk in generalities and hypothetical situations about what happens if an offender comes to them and requests permission to attend their own residential substance abuse treatment program in Texas. If the PO tell you that is not allowable and offenders are only allowed to attend rehab programs run by the State of Texas, then you know tour brother is telling you the truth.
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Old 10-17-2020, 05:16 PM   #53
Randell
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Opioid crisis has a lot to with doctors they give them away like candy... once you get hooked...
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Old 10-17-2020, 06:07 PM   #54
brushtrooper
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Rapha House & Alabaster Jar Ministry in Mathis, Tx is supposed to be pretty good and Charlies place in CC, these are the only ones I know about. I knew guy that was on drugs and was in/out of rehabs from Fl. to Tx. Rapha House seemed to work the best for him. He actually got straight, full time job, married and they had little boy. He fell off the wagon, got strung out, had a heart attack and died. He was in his mid thirties. Thats a hard roller coaster ride, I hope things work out for the best
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Old 10-17-2020, 06:28 PM   #55
bigmike
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Cajun blake hit it dead on !!
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Old 10-17-2020, 06:34 PM   #56
Pstraw
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Originally Posted by Cajun Blake View Post
My honest opinion based on what Double C has shared .... sadly your brother doesnít want to quit doing heroin and get sober Your family has spent thousands of dollars trying to help him, while offering support, tough love, and talking til your blue in the face. Heís been to treatment numerous times and knows how the system works. He knows the treatment terminology and what to tell the counselors. The end result is always the same; short term sobriety then he relapses and ends up back in jail. Itís a vicious cycle that takes a heavy toll on the family and loved ones, especially mothers.

IMO, continue to pray and offer support, but do not spend any more money trying to fix the problem. When your brother is ďsick and tiredĒ of being sick and tired perhaps then he will get serious about recovery. The addict has to admit that he/she is powerless and they have to commit 100% to getting help. Your brotherís previous actions of leaving treatment early confirm he ainít ready.

I wish I could be more optimistic; however, Iím calling it like I see it after dealing with my own addiction for 35+ years. Your brother doesnít have to go to the best treatment center in the country to beat addiction. He needs to do some serious soul searching and decide if he wants to live or die with a needle in his arm. This may sound harsh but itís the reality of a drug addict. FYI Iím praying for him and your family. Feel free to PM if you want to talk
Couldn't have been said any better. Everyone in the world and all the money ever printed will not change him a bit. Your brother has to make that decision for himself.
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Old 10-17-2020, 08:03 PM   #57
Double C
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Really floored by Everyone taking the time to reply and offer insight and prayers and suggestions. Appreciate it amigos.
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Old 10-17-2020, 08:18 PM   #58
rolylane6
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Originally Posted by pervis View Post
My wifes been to la hacienda twice now. And very recently. Not drugs, but alcohol. She did great while in there, but has come out both times and not changed a bit. Its completely up to the person to want it. Going to file for divorce on mon. She has torn our family to shreds.
Prayers sent to you and your family

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Old 10-17-2020, 08:30 PM   #59
rolylane6
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Prayers sent to you and your family

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I've dealt with this with my younger brother as well. He worked for me when he got addicted and I would take him every morning before work to the methadone clinic for months. My business was suffering because of it because we were always late to jobs. He finally got clean and in 3 months was addicted again. I fired him. My mom kept enabling him and he robbed her blind. Pawned everything that wasn't nailed down. Most everything my dad left behind when he passed was gone. Guns, fishing equipment, tools. All gone. He finally got caught stealing a guys tool box out of his garage and the guy beat the s$!t out of him before calling the police. He ended up in prison for a year and came out clean. Started hanging with his old crowd again and went right back to using. Got pulled over for drunk driving and arrested for possession of heroin. Went back to the pen again for another year. Finally got clean and stayed clean but 2 years later got arrested again for dwi and went back to the pen for 6mo. Found Christ while there this time. He's been clean now for 4 years and has a good job and doing pretty good. I pray for him a lot. I'll add your brother when I do.

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Last edited by rolylane6; 10-17-2020 at 08:32 PM.
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Old 10-17-2020, 08:36 PM   #60
dgilbert
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No advice but prayers to him and your family.
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Old 10-17-2020, 09:21 PM   #61
Preacher Man
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Originally Posted by pervis View Post
My wifes been to la hacienda twice now. And very recently. Not drugs, but alcohol. She did great while in there, but has come out both times and not changed a bit. Its completely up to the person to want it. Going to file for divorce on mon. She has torn our family to shreds.
Dang Pervis. Prayers up for you and yours.
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Old 10-17-2020, 09:31 PM   #62
planomustang
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Originally Posted by pilar View Post
Till he hits rock bottom, his chances are zero, heroine/ opioids are tough to kick
Donít help him one bit, he has two choices 1. Die 2. Admit powerlessness and seek a higher power
This is the truth. Don't ask me about why I know. Rock bottom is where the choices are made. Live or die.
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Old 10-17-2020, 09:37 PM   #63
ballgame
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Originally Posted by pervis View Post
My wifes been to la hacienda twice now. And very recently. Not drugs, but alcohol. She did great while in there, but has come out both times and not changed a bit. Its completely up to the person to want it. Going to file for divorce on mon. She has torn our family to shreds.
Went through the exact same thing. Good luck!
Its tough but it was the best decision I ever made. You'll be amazed how much better life is on the other side! In the end she and I are better for it. Stay strong!
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Old 10-17-2020, 11:06 PM   #64
pervis
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i have to guys. I have 2 little boys of my own w my wife. My wife just lost custody of her son, my step son due to this. Shes now hallucinating, talking to herself, all kinds of stuff. Did la hacienda twice this summer, my kids had to go stay at my parents. I work over the road. We all hoped she would come back all good. Within days both times she was drinking again.
Had her set up to in out patient in southlake at arise and she no called no showed em. I took her myself days later. Found aa groups for her, went to two meetings myself with her to support her. Still drinking. Cops cps crackheads all have been to my house. I have to quit enabling her. Toughest decision ive ever made in my life. Im gona loose financially, but screw it. I cant have her take me or the kids down any longer. Im living in hell now, but it will get better.
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Old 10-18-2020, 12:30 AM   #65
manwitaplan
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Originally Posted by pervis View Post
i have to guys. I have 2 little boys of my own w my wife. My wife just lost custody of her son, my step son due to this. Shes now hallucinating, talking to herself, all kinds of stuff. Did la hacienda twice this summer, my kids had to go stay at my parents. I work over the road. We all hoped she would come back all good. Within days both times she was drinking again.
Had her set up to in out patient in southlake at arise and she no called no showed em. I took her myself days later. Found aa groups for her, went to two meetings myself with her to support her. Still drinking. Cops cps crackheads all have been to my house. I have to quit enabling her. Toughest decision ive ever made in my life. Im gona loose financially, but screw it. I cant have her take me or the kids down any longer. Im living in hell now, but it will get better.
Breaks my heart bud and you do what you need to do!

To the OP hang in there and I am sorry you have to deal with this.
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Old 10-18-2020, 05:44 AM   #66
talleywack97
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That drug took my best friend since kindergarten...i know opiates are horribly addictive (hydrocodone grabbed me up). I knew i had a problem when i stole pain pills from my grandmother /aunt whomever.. i hope everyone who is dealing with it, it works out for em.
Hard battle but it CAN be won...
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Old 10-18-2020, 07:43 AM   #67
Goldeneagle
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Trying to help my wifes brother is partially to blame for our financial problems. We tried to help too much. For years the only time we heard from him was when he got free calls while in jail. We moved him from Florida to our house and that was THE mistake. After about a year, I just kicked his *** out the door. We paid for rehab and medical bills trying to help him, but he really just wanted to bum off of us. He hitchhiked his way back to Florida and died living in a tent.
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Old 10-18-2020, 11:34 AM   #68
Hagen
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My girlfriends son is a 28 yr old addict. He just came off probation on monday. Last night got a call he was tearing up her house. She lives with me but keeps her old house so he has a place to stay. She goes down there and he is high as all get out, tearing the house apart, bathroom vanity off the wall, water spraying everywhere. She found bags of heroin. Im thinking im done with the relationship after multiple almost overdoses. I don't want the kid around my kids at all. He doesn't want help. Ive tried. Its an ugly drug for sure.
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Old 10-18-2020, 11:57 AM   #69
Double C
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Pervis and others, prayers up for your situations. We aren’t alone that’s for sure and there’s no shame in seeking help.

A buddy recommended a book called Dreamland about the opioid crisis origins. I don’t know if I want to read it - may just get mad.
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Old 10-18-2020, 12:14 PM   #70
pervis
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Im truly beginning to believe no help is the best help you can give someone in these circumstances. Ive tried everything and when i say everything i mean everything. Im finding comfort reading about other guys stuff on here. Im gona do it because its my only option at this point. The first hardest thing ive ever done was drop my wife off at rehab and have to walk away. The second hardest thing ive ever had to do is walk away from her with my kids at all cost. This will change my life and my kids lifes for sure. We cant have mom take us with her anymore. Gona be a hard road ahead to navigate for me. Hopefully this will change her and her ways. Ive got to move forward cause this is not a part of life i want anymore part of. Say some prayers for me. This will unfold more this week.
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Old 10-18-2020, 05:01 PM   #71
ATXRaider83
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I agree with the people that says he has to want it. Had a former work associate with an addiction. This guy had loads of money so he could support it. His kids kept throwing him in rehab but as you may have heard and as he told me he had access to more Goods in there than anywhere. This was a very high dollar facility that he went to.

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Old 10-18-2020, 05:09 PM   #72
FireNguns
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Prayers for everyone involved. Addiction is terrible
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Old 10-19-2020, 09:50 AM   #73
Slinger
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It honestly will not matter...inpatient, outpatient, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Shilo Ministries. $25,0000 facility or a $20.00 copay. These are all support systems for someone that truly wants to stop. Jail or Prison are the forced support systems. If it’s the withdrawals that are getting him then there are things like Suboxone that truly work to ease the withdrawals. But.....this can be addictive as well so again he has to WANT to stop. I know withdrawals can feel like you’re a couple inches from death and a lot of times sends addicts back into the vicious cycle of using. Feel free to PM me as I speak from personal experience.
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Old 10-19-2020, 10:03 AM   #74
dosrobles
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Prayers for your entire family. 30 years ago I fought my demons and won. DO NOT LET PEOPLE TELL YOU DO NOTHING. I am here, own a 16 year old company, have a 30 year + marriage, and 3 kids either practicing medicine or in grad school. G-d and family and my wife saved my life.

It doesn’t always work, but there is no more powerful formula then faith and family. PM any time.
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Old 10-19-2020, 10:09 AM   #75
7sdad
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Prayers
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Old 10-19-2020, 10:56 AM   #76
Blane
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Prayers for everyone on this thread. My brother in law has also been affected by poor choices and narcotics. I have seen so many lives torn apart during my career in LE as well. So sad. It shows, that everyone has someone, or knows someone that has been affected by dope. Again, prayers up and know that you are not alone.
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Old 10-19-2020, 10:56 AM   #77
savage1134
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Check out the movie Beautiful Boy. Has a lot of what everyone is saying on here in the movie.
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Old 10-19-2020, 10:59 AM   #78
SabreKiller
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LaHacienda in Hunt, Texas has a pretty successful program. They are expensive though.
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Old 10-19-2020, 11:09 AM   #79
gingib
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Originally Posted by Fishndude View Post
Nope nope nope. Give zero assistance. Youíre just another enabler at that point. He has to run out of options. He either figures it out on his own or you get that call.
Yep! Sad reality

The life he chose
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Old 10-19-2020, 12:10 PM   #80
rvd
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Prayers sent for him that he decides he doesn't want to live his life as an addict. Prayers sent for you and all that love him for strength, resilience, and discernment between help and enablement.
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Old 10-19-2020, 12:44 PM   #81
recar
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Originally Posted by Double C View Post
Really floored by Everyone taking the time to reply and offer insight and prayers and suggestions. Appreciate it amigos.

We are just another family you have. Here to help, advise(good or bad you decide), and pray. Addiction takes a great toll on the family and friends of an addict as well. Make sure to take care or you and yours during all this, not just looking after your brother. Keep a close eye on family members and yourself. Don't be afraid to get some counseling to help you deal with the struggle of watching a loved one make these choices.
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Old 10-19-2020, 01:13 PM   #82
Slinger
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Originally Posted by rvd View Post
Prayers sent for him that he decides he doesn't want to live his life as an addict. Prayers sent for you and all that love him for strength, resilience, and discernment between help and enablement.
Amen.....
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Old 10-19-2020, 01:24 PM   #83
meltingfeather
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Sounds like your family has handled it about as well as can be. Prayers for y'all.
The key is the want-- just about any reputable rehab program can work, it depends on his desire and commitment. Without that nothing will work... not distance, not tough love, not enabling, not any of it... until he wants it.
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Old 10-19-2020, 01:34 PM   #84
sectxag06
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Morning all- this is kinda hard to write into public forum, but I know several of you have real experiences with this and hoping for some advice. I wonít sugar coat it so you donít either. Iíve spoken with my church friends but none of us understands like an ex-addict. PM me if needed.

My youngest brother, 30, Ex excellent baseball player, is a heroin addict amongst other opioids. I think he even snags meth sometimes. Whatever. Lives in panhandle area. Been in and out of jail and state run rehabs for 12 years. He got out from another 18 month stint in March and stayed with mom. Held a job for a couple months then fell off rails again, sleep all day, use, steal, lie, repeat. PO busted him and he went to another supposedly 90 day in corpus. Finagled his way out After 30. Heís a crafty emotional manipulator.

Mom has finally stopped enabling him by not allowing him in house or paying for phone and stuff. Iíve convinced her of the danger, plus sheís just tired of being used. Stopped taking his calls but heís still at it trying to pull her heart strings for gain. But is breaking her heart- itís her son after all. For last month we havenít heard from him and we think heís been mooching his way thru his remaining friends. (But still has cell smh)

That drug crowd is so bad.... all using each other and paranoid. I know the odds. I have prepared myself for the call. More worried about mom at this point.

Weíve continued to say we love and Emotional support , but thatís it.

So, hereís the reality; heís used up most of people and now is about homeless. He hasnt replied to our text or calls in about 6 weeks. Last night I again encouraged him to rehab. He replied heís ready to go anywhere and detox , but says the TDC rehabs are terrible with more drugs than the streets. Iím skeptical he just wants a place to stay and is lying for something short term (like a meal or hotel room).

my question; Are there any rehabs that work (if he truly wants it)? Recommendations? I want him as far away from his old crowd as possible, forever.
you have to let him find his own rock bottom and decide to quit. nothing you or your family can do.

my step dad has a son addicted to heroin. he's been in and out of the best facilities in the entire country. been to prison. yada yada.

my mom's brothers are addicts. they used my grandmother until the day she died and even manipulated her into changing the will when she was mentally deficient.

long story. but, it's up to your brother to do it on his own. tell him that you love him and that's it.
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Old 10-19-2020, 02:01 PM   #85
Man
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About to lose my best friend since middle school to drugs. When he was 25 he went to a bar in the Woodlands,Tx and another dude slipped something in his drink and raped him that night. He was never able to cope with anything again. We have done everything possible to help him but aside from money he doesn't want anything. He took a bus from Houston to Los Angeles and is living on the streets. We saw 2 pictures of him about 3 months ago and made our peace. He looked horrible in the pictures. I am litterly expecting a call every day to hear of his passing.
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