What's a common phrase you heard from Dad growing up?

[texsdr]

“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.”

[jerp]

When I did something stupid - "use your head for something besides a hat rack boy!"

[Bucknaked]

Son Of A Bit**

[Muddy Bud]

Don’t touch that pendejo!

[Walker]

"Man youre sharp today. Have razor soup for breakfast?"

[rladner]

"I am the greatest"

[Johnny Dangerr]

If it can happen - it will...

[GroceryGetter]

My mother always has some great one liners. I still quote to them in passing to friends and they think I am a time travelers from the 30's.

Referring to someone who has close to nothing- "he doesn't have a pot to **** to in or a window to throw it out of."

"He doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain."

"Slicker than goosesh*t".

"Tighter than a bull's a** during fly season."

My father has some choice ones as well:

"I'm so hungry I could eat the rice out of a dead Chinaman's a**."

"Couldn't hit a bear in the a** with a bag full of banjos."

"I'm so hungry I could eat the a** end out of a buzzard."

"I could whip you with a knotted plowline."

[flywise]

Pick a switch!

[Drycreek3189]

When giving a warning Daddy would say “I’ll beat the chit out of you then beat you for chitting” He wasn’t always kidding either.

[CEO]

Dad never had a lot, but his dad (Pop) was full of them.

"If it cost a nickel to go around the world I could get outta sight"

[Deerguy]

Whenever I'd say "we" need to do something, he's always ask if I had a mouse in my pocket.

[Deerguy]

"if" a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his *****.

[bowhuntntxn]

You can only go backwards wen you're digging a ditch

[Tony Pic]

You'll never learn like when you bleed and its costs ya money.