your most embarrassing moments?

[RascalArms]

Went to a bar after the rodeo cookoff probably ten years ago. Quite a ways into the night my gut started tightening and I couldn't hold it any longer so I headed for the bathroom. I hit the stall and get to doing my business. Bathroom was empty when I entered but soon after a big group of girls comes in and I realized my mistake. My initial plan was to wait them out and make an escape when no one was looking. Like it seems women do, they would not leave. I knew the longer I sit there the more of a creep I'll look like once I do show myself plus my legs are going numb. I open the stall and head straight to the door with my head down, apologizing profusely. The reaction from the group was everything from laughter to disgust. I kept waiting on someone to confront me for being a perv but we stayed until closing time and nothing happened.

I’ve done this before. It’s hard to wait em out.....but it CAN be done!

[Yelladog]

1st one that comes to mind. Me and a buddy were in corpus fishing one summer and the hotel we were staying at we were in the elevator with a couple woman just chatting. They were in town for a college visit. I then proceeded to tell them we brought our son down couple months prior to visit CC a&m not thinking anything about it. We get to the lobby and part ways and my buddy tells me. You know they think we are gay now right.
It never dawned on me how that sounded as I was yapping.


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[RascalArms]

Son was one year old at the time, and at Childrens Hospital in Dallas due to a prolonged ear infection and needed a central line for antibiotics. My wife was staying at the hospital with him during the day, and I was relieving her at night so she could go home get some rest and take care of daughter.

I was headed to downtown on I-30 after having some Taco Bell about an hour prior, and my gut started talking to me... and it got worse at the I-30/I-35 split to where... there was going to be an explosion.. it was just a matter of could I to the hospital in time. I flew into the parking lot and all of the handicapped spots were taken, so I just parked at the entrance and ran inside.

Found the nearest bathroom and a kid was in the stall and it was a one-holer. I could not hold it any longer and ripped my pants down to explode into the urinal. Problem was it was just a tad too late, as I exploded and completely crapped inside my pants. I tried to clean up some, but it was just too much so I tucked my pants legs into my socks and just walked up to my sons room.

Gravity has pretty much taken over at this point and I had about 3 lbs of mud/sewer water in my pant legs and socks, and trail of brown liquid every 5-6 ft down the corridors. I made it to my sons room and told wife what happened, so she got me a pair of those paper pants/shirts from a nurse while I showered in my sons room. She took all of my clothes and put them in a garbage bag and found a coin operated washer/dryer and got them clean.

We still laugh about it, and wife/I told our 20 year old son about it a few months back after he was complaining about having a rough day.

Awesome that you have the courage to share that brother.

Leon would be proud

http://discussions.texasbowhunter.com/forums/showthread.php?t=292546&highlight=Humor

[Gunnyart]

On a mission trip in western China with a group of a dozen or so and one night I was paired up in a hotel room with the leader, a pastor friend of my wife’s.

He was asleep when I got back to the room and I didn’t want to disturb him by turning on the lights. I did my business in the bathroom and proceeded to bed.

He was up before me and discovered my complete lack of marksmanship with the local hole in the floor style “toilet”.

We were never paired up again for the rest of the trip.

[S-3 Ranch]

I got invited to a luxury box at the Houston rodeo in the old Astro dome to see Reba Mcentire , and my date invited me into the restroom with her , And then people started knocking on the door wanting in , well we could hear people laughing and when we came out the whole room started clapping and laughing and pointing at us , I started laughing to out of embarrassment, but my date started crying then got made and slapped me silly
Which only made people laugh more , I never got invited back to the box and every year had to relive the story at work , “ oh to be young and stupid “

[drop dead fred]

I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... I’m getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. I’m thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz

[Texas Pride]

I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... I’m getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. I’m thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz

That's awful. Did you drop out of school at that point?

[waterdog]

a good old tequila story, years ago I work for a small electric company. we had a heavy set redhead name kay who was the reservationist. one day the boss call me and told me to talk to kay about a bad light switch she had at her house. I talk to her and setup a time to look at it. I go over one afternoon and put in a new switch. we talk a little bit she is divorced with two young kids. I talk and play with the kids. and off I go....{ here comes the tequila part} a year are so later one night out with the boys drinking tequila like water. I don't remember much after that? next morning I wake up on a sofa in someone house? a few minutes go bye and kay the reservationist from work walks in and tells me good morning sunshine!! I ask what happen why am I here? she tells me I knocking on the door at 3:00 a. m. telling her to pack the kids some clothes we are going to go live in mexico ! she talk me in to waiting till morning to leave. I was so embarrassed I quit the company a few days later. that was the last time I every drank tequila.

[CEO]

I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... I’m getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. I’m thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz

My word. I hope they gave you a flattering nickname.

[drop dead fred]

My word. I hope they gave you a flattering nickname.

That's awful. Did you drop out of school at that point?

Oh y’all thought drop dead Fred was just a clever name? Lol


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[LukeDuke]

I was about 5 years old when we first moved to Texas from Louisiana.
We went to the big city Mall in Houston for the first time.

There was a big beautiful fountain in the middle of the mall with a raised lip / bench around the edge. I was running laps around the top of it when my mother told me to stop or I was going to fall in...

I didn't listen of course, and on the next lap I hit a wet spot and SPLOOSH back flopped into the fountain!

Everyone in the mall was pointing and laughing...and it was quite a walk of shame sloshing through the mall out to the parking lot!

[TX03RUBI]

I was about 5 years old when we first moved to Texas from Louisiana.
We went to the big city Mall in Houston for the first time.

There was a big beautiful fountain in the middle of the mall with a raised lip / bench around the edge. I was running laps around the top of it when my mother told me to stop or I was going to fall in...

I didn't listen of course, and on the next lap I hit a wet spot and SPLOOSH back flopped into the fountain!

Everyone in the mall was pointing and laughing...and it was quite a walk of shame sloshing through the mall out to the parking lot!

This reminds me of one when I was 5-6, and visiting San Antonio for the first time. I was a country boy, and not very refined. The world was my bathroom, as my parents found out when they turned around and using the River Walk as my urinal

[100%TtId]

I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... I’m getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. I’m thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz

I think this pegs the awkwardness meter.

[S-3 Ranch]

This reminds me of one when I was 5-6, and visiting San Antonio for the first time. I was a country boy, and not very refined. The world was my bathroom, as my parents found out when they turned around and using the River Walk as my urinal

My nephew did this at Disney land, I was relieved to see this happen a couple of times with other kids that day

[wes122984]

Not sure how clean i can keep it but will try.

I was bartending for a restaurant when i was 19 or 20 and everybody that works there is friends and hangs out.
One of the girls was going through a breakup with her bf and said she needed to go buy an adult toy to keep her from going back to him. She asked me for a ride to the adult store. ( condom sense on greenville ave). She lived accross the street from the restaurant and walked to work and didnt have her own car.
I agreed and after our shift we left and drove to the store. This particular store had a sign saying to park around back which i did not see. I parked on the side in a normal parking spot.
We go in and she buys the biggest blackest dong she could find. This thing couldnt even fit inside the black dark plastic bags they provide for discreetness. We walk out side to find in that 10 min window my truck had been towed.....

" My" truck was in my parents name. Had to call them to come get us and get the truck released back to me. There we are sitting in the back seat with some random girl with a big black dong sticking out after being picked up from the sex store..

My parents couldnt quit laughing and cracking jokes at us.