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Old 06-26-2019, 09:01 AM   #1
waterdog
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Default your most embarrassing moments?

lets hear some stories. keep it clean folks.
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Old 06-26-2019, 09:26 AM   #2
Pushbutton2
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Me and my wife went shopping at Wal Mart.
I was looking @ Shaving stuff she went to look @ something else. I thought I saw walk up next to me out of the corner of my eye. I ran my hand down her forearm. I hear EXCUSE ME! I turn and look and it's not my wife. I was mortified and stammered out I thought you were my wife. She says OBVIOUSLY NOT, turns and walks away. About that time my wife came back and saw my face, and asks what I did. I told her. She chuckled smiled and said glad it was her arm.

2 things that'll help this make sense.
1) October 1999 ish I suffered a Brain Injury @ work. I have a hard time controlling my facial expressions.

2) I usually put my hand on the small of her back.
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Old 06-26-2019, 10:17 AM   #3
Gunnyart
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In. So many to choose from I’ll have to narrow it down before I post.
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Old 06-26-2019, 10:23 AM   #4
CEO
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Can't think of anything too crazy. On the Sam Houston campus I had a flip flop get out from under me, I fell, and slid about 10 feet down one of the steep declines. This was near the beginning of the semester so there were still a bunch of folks on campus.

My 6.0 Powerstroke wouldn't start after I turned it off to order in the Raisin Canes drive thru. Had to get a couple of employees to help me push it through the line. They did give me my food for free.

I had a similar event to Pushbutton2 where I thought another woman was my wife at Kohls.
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Old 06-26-2019, 10:26 AM   #5
Jon B
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Making a traffic stop on a small car. Stomach gurgled as I began my approach. Trying to hold it in.....I did an about face and turned to walk away and heard it squeak out. The small car put her right about even with my belt line.

Walked back to my patrol car like nothing happened. Looked back once I got to my car and she was hanging out of the window fanning the smell away. I was so embarrassed. Legitimate accident .... I felt horrible. Gave her a warning and left.
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Old 06-26-2019, 10:33 AM   #6
TX03RUBI
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I worked at Sears in Lawn & Garden and Sporting Goods for a year while in school. When we closed down at night we had to clean all displays. When cleaning the treadmills we would turn them on full speed, spray the mat down, then hold a brush on the mat as it spun. It would clean itself.

One night I was closing up, and a buddy was helping me clean the treadmills. By helping I mean he was spraying the mat down, and I was holding the brush while we both BSed. Well Iím scrubbing one while he sprays the next, then he turns to me and starts spraying me. Without even thinking I turn to him and start reaching for the spray bottle. I step right onto the mat running full speed. I instantly ate it, then instead of rolling right off I kept trying to save myself...... which kept me flopping around the mat and not falling off. It was a loud commotion, and extremely hilarious footage. There were still a couple customers in the store, and it caught everyoneís attention. When I finally fell off the treadmill I had holes in my pant knees and elbows. My wrists and face were scraped to crap. I was dying laughing, as was my buddy. When the customers realized I was ok they began laughing too. LP made sure we all saw the footage
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Old 06-26-2019, 10:40 AM   #7
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This one isn’t as bad. A few years back I was staying at my sisters house about once a week while working in Midland. It was Jan-feb, and we had a big cold front come through. Temp overnight was 12-14*, and my brother in law forgot to turn off the sprinklers that ran at 4:30am. We’ll I go to the gym 3-4 days a week at 4:30ish.

I wake up and get ready, then walk outside to my truck. I notice the sprinklers running on both sides of the sidewalk to my truck, and didn’t even think about the ice they’d cause on the sidewalk. I made it two steps before busting my butt, and sliding 20+ feet down the sidewalk to my truck. That’s not the worst part either. When I slipped I dropped my truck keys..... right next to a sprinkler head. I had to walk back up the sidewalk, then face down directly into a sprinkler to grab my keys. It was COLD!!!!

The not so smart part was I asked my BIL if he had checked the cameras that morning. Had I not asked they’d have never found the video of it haha

Last edited by TX03RUBI; 06-26-2019 at 10:44 AM.
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Old 06-26-2019, 11:20 AM   #8
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When I realized it was NOT an automatic paper towel dispenser...
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Old 06-26-2019, 11:21 AM   #9
Puggy625
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There's just so, so many. I'll have to think a little while on it. I'm sure one or two involves passing grass at inopportune times.

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Old 06-26-2019, 11:21 AM   #10
Puggy625
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There's just so, so many. I'll have to think a little while on it. I'm sure one or two involves passing grass at inopportune times.

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Old 06-26-2019, 11:27 AM   #11
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Went to a bar after the rodeo cookoff probably ten years ago. Quite a ways into the night my gut started tightening and I couldn't hold it any longer so I headed for the bathroom. I hit the stall and get to doing my business. Bathroom was empty when I entered but soon after a big group of girls comes in and I realized my mistake. My initial plan was to wait them out and make an escape when no one was looking. Like it seems women do, they would not leave. I knew the longer I sit there the more of a creep I'll look like once I do show myself plus my legs are going numb. I open the stall and head straight to the door with my head down, apologizing profusely. The reaction from the group was everything from laughter to disgust. I kept waiting on someone to confront me for being a perv but we stayed until closing time and nothing happened.
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Old 06-26-2019, 11:49 AM   #12
slicktree
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Originally Posted by CEO View Post
Went to a bar after the rodeo cookoff probably ten years ago. Quite a ways into the night my gut started tightening and I couldn't hold it any longer so I headed for the bathroom. I hit the stall and get to doing my business. Bathroom was empty when I entered but soon after a big group of girls comes in and I realized my mistake. My initial plan was to wait them out and make an escape when no one was looking. Like it seems women do, they would not leave. I knew the longer I sit there the more of a creep I'll look like once I do show myself plus my legs are going numb. I open the stall and head straight to the door with my head down, apologizing profusely. The reaction from the group was everything from laughter to disgust. I kept waiting on someone to confront me for being a perv but we stayed until closing time and nothing happened.
I've got one similar. Driving through Austin one day and got bubble guts, stopped at a gas station and mens room was occupied I waited until I couldn't any longer. I said screw it and went into the women's bathroom and locked the door as I'm about done theres a knock on the door. I didn't say anything the plan was to wait it out. A few moments later another knock and a girl says hello is anyone in there. In my best girl voice I let out a yea just a minute. I waited another 5 minutes or so and the knocking wouldn't stop so i put my head down and walked out. I was beyond embarrassed, I'm not even kidding when I say this there were at least 15 high school girls in line waiting. I think they were on a field trip cause there was a bus in the parking lot. As soon as I walked out there was a whole lot of laughing, pointing etc. The girls were like OMG there was a guy in there HAHA what a perv. I walked out as quick as I could and left, my buddy in the truck was dying laughing when I explained it to him and did my girl voice.
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Old 06-26-2019, 11:50 AM   #13
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We went down to Katy right after Harvey to help my BIL/SIL clean up their mess. Hotels were full so we all stayed at a friend of their's house who were out of town. I was by myself drinking beer on the back porch and really needed to take a leak but all the bathrooms were occupied. Like most men my age "just hold it" is not an option so I made my way around to the side of the house for some privacy and let fly. As I was zipping up I glanced upward to see that I was standing directly under a security camera! I never heard anything about it but always wondered if the homeowners saw a stranger watering their hydrangeas in the middle of the night
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Old 06-26-2019, 12:13 PM   #14
Froggy
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I posted just one of many on here about six months ago. Women are cruel and mean. Dang dog.

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Old 06-26-2019, 12:20 PM   #15
tx_basser
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Son was one year old at the time, and at Childrens Hospital in Dallas due to a prolonged ear infection and needed a central line for antibiotics. My wife was staying at the hospital with him during the day, and I was relieving her at night so she could go home get some rest and take care of daughter.

I was headed to downtown on I-30 after having some Taco Bell about an hour prior, and my gut started talking to me... and it got worse at the I-30/I-35 split to where... there was going to be an explosion.. it was just a matter of could I to the hospital in time. I flew into the parking lot and all of the handicapped spots were taken, so I just parked at the entrance and ran inside.

Found the nearest bathroom and a kid was in the stall and it was a one-holer. I could not hold it any longer and ripped my pants down to explode into the urinal. Problem was it was just a tad too late, as I exploded and completely crapped inside my pants. I tried to clean up some, but it was just too much so I tucked my pants legs into my socks and just walked up to my sons room.

Gravity has pretty much taken over at this point and I had about 3 lbs of mud/sewer water in my pant legs and socks, and trail of brown liquid every 5-6 ft down the corridors. I made it to my sons room and told wife what happened, so she got me a pair of those paper pants/shirts from a nurse while I showered in my sons room. She took all of my clothes and put them in a garbage bag and found a coin operated washer/dryer and got them clean.

We still laugh about it, and wife/I told our 20 year old son about it a few months back after he was complaining about having a rough day.
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Old 06-26-2019, 12:22 PM   #16
RascalArms
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CEO View Post
Went to a bar after the rodeo cookoff probably ten years ago. Quite a ways into the night my gut started tightening and I couldn't hold it any longer so I headed for the bathroom. I hit the stall and get to doing my business. Bathroom was empty when I entered but soon after a big group of girls comes in and I realized my mistake. My initial plan was to wait them out and make an escape when no one was looking. Like it seems women do, they would not leave. I knew the longer I sit there the more of a creep I'll look like once I do show myself plus my legs are going numb. I open the stall and head straight to the door with my head down, apologizing profusely. The reaction from the group was everything from laughter to disgust. I kept waiting on someone to confront me for being a perv but we stayed until closing time and nothing happened.
Iíve done this before. Itís hard to wait em out.....but it CAN be done!
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Old 06-26-2019, 12:26 PM   #17
Yelladog
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1st one that comes to mind. Me and a buddy were in corpus fishing one summer and the hotel we were staying at we were in the elevator with a couple woman just chatting. They were in town for a college visit. I then proceeded to tell them we brought our son down couple months prior to visit CC a&m not thinking anything about it. We get to the lobby and part ways and my buddy tells me. You know they think we are gay now right.
It never dawned on me how that sounded as I was yapping.


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Old 06-26-2019, 12:31 PM   #18
RascalArms
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tx_basser View Post
Son was one year old at the time, and at Childrens Hospital in Dallas due to a prolonged ear infection and needed a central line for antibiotics. My wife was staying at the hospital with him during the day, and I was relieving her at night so she could go home get some rest and take care of daughter.

I was headed to downtown on I-30 after having some Taco Bell about an hour prior, and my gut started talking to me... and it got worse at the I-30/I-35 split to where... there was going to be an explosion.. it was just a matter of could I to the hospital in time. I flew into the parking lot and all of the handicapped spots were taken, so I just parked at the entrance and ran inside.

Found the nearest bathroom and a kid was in the stall and it was a one-holer. I could not hold it any longer and ripped my pants down to explode into the urinal. Problem was it was just a tad too late, as I exploded and completely crapped inside my pants. I tried to clean up some, but it was just too much so I tucked my pants legs into my socks and just walked up to my sons room.

Gravity has pretty much taken over at this point and I had about 3 lbs of mud/sewer water in my pant legs and socks, and trail of brown liquid every 5-6 ft down the corridors. I made it to my sons room and told wife what happened, so she got me a pair of those paper pants/shirts from a nurse while I showered in my sons room. She took all of my clothes and put them in a garbage bag and found a coin operated washer/dryer and got them clean.

We still laugh about it, and wife/I told our 20 year old son about it a few months back after he was complaining about having a rough day.
Awesome that you have the courage to share that brother.

Leon would be proud

http://discussions.texasbowhunter.co...ighlight=Humor
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Old 06-26-2019, 12:48 PM   #19
Gunnyart
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On a mission trip in western China with a group of a dozen or so and one night I was paired up in a hotel room with the leader, a pastor friend of my wifeís.

He was asleep when I got back to the room and I didnít want to disturb him by turning on the lights. I did my business in the bathroom and proceeded to bed.

He was up before me and discovered my complete lack of marksmanship with the local hole in the floor style ďtoiletĒ.

We were never paired up again for the rest of the trip.
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:03 PM   #20
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I got invited to a luxury box at the Houston rodeo in the old Astro dome to see Reba Mcentire , and my date invited me into the restroom with her , And then people started knocking on the door wanting in , well we could hear people laughing and when we came out the whole room started clapping and laughing and pointing at us , I started laughing to out of embarrassment, but my date started crying then got made and slapped me silly
Which only made people laugh more , I never got invited back to the box and every year had to relive the story at work , “ oh to be young and stupid “
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:26 PM   #21
drop dead fred
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I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... Iím getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. Iím thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:29 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by drop dead fred View Post
I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... Iím getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. Iím thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz
That's awful. Did you drop out of school at that point?
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:31 PM   #23
waterdog
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a good old tequila story, years ago I work for a small electric company. we had a heavy set redhead name kay who was the reservationist. one day the boss call me and told me to talk to kay about a bad light switch she had at her house. I talk to her and setup a time to look at it. I go over one afternoon and put in a new switch. we talk a little bit she is divorced with two young kids. I talk and play with the kids. and off I go....{ here comes the tequila part} a year are so later one night out with the boys drinking tequila like water. I don't remember much after that? next morning I wake up on a sofa in someone house? a few minutes go bye and kay the reservationist from work walks in and tells me good morning sunshine!! I ask what happen why am I here? she tells me I knocking on the door at 3:00 a. m. telling her to pack the kids some clothes we are going to go live in mexico ! she talk me in to waiting till morning to leave. I was so embarrassed I quit the company a few days later. that was the last time I every drank tequila.
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:32 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by drop dead fred View Post
I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... Iím getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. Iím thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz
My word. I hope they gave you a flattering nickname.
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:37 PM   #25
drop dead fred
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CEO View Post
My word. I hope they gave you a flattering nickname.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Pride View Post
That's awful. Did you drop out of school at that point?

Oh yíall thought drop dead Fred was just a clever name? Lol


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Old 06-26-2019, 01:38 PM   #26
LukeDuke
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I was about 5 years old when we first moved to Texas from Louisiana.
We went to the big city Mall in Houston for the first time.

There was a big beautiful fountain in the middle of the mall with a raised lip / bench around the edge. I was running laps around the top of it when my mother told me to stop or I was going to fall in...

I didn't listen of course, and on the next lap I hit a wet spot and SPLOOSH back flopped into the fountain!

Everyone in the mall was pointing and laughing...and it was quite a walk of shame sloshing through the mall out to the parking lot!
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:47 PM   #27
TX03RUBI
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LukeDuke View Post
I was about 5 years old when we first moved to Texas from Louisiana.
We went to the big city Mall in Houston for the first time.

There was a big beautiful fountain in the middle of the mall with a raised lip / bench around the edge. I was running laps around the top of it when my mother told me to stop or I was going to fall in...

I didn't listen of course, and on the next lap I hit a wet spot and SPLOOSH back flopped into the fountain!

Everyone in the mall was pointing and laughing...and it was quite a walk of shame sloshing through the mall out to the parking lot!
This reminds me of one when I was 5-6, and visiting San Antonio for the first time. I was a country boy, and not very refined. The world was my bathroom, as my parents found out when they turned around and using the River Walk as my urinal
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:56 PM   #28
100%TtId
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Originally Posted by drop dead fred View Post
I had a colonoscopy done my freshman year in high school... Iím getting prepped they roll me into the room for procedure, and as theyre going over everything they say they will have some students studying that will be shadowing. Iím thinking like med students from a college nope right as they start giving me sedation meds 6 senior girls from my high school that I very much know stroll in... then Zzzzzzzzzz
I think this pegs the awkwardness meter.
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Old 06-26-2019, 01:59 PM   #29
pilar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TX03RUBI View Post
This reminds me of one when I was 5-6, and visiting San Antonio for the first time. I was a country boy, and not very refined. The world was my bathroom, as my parents found out when they turned around and using the River Walk as my urinal
My nephew did this at Disney land, I was relieved to see this happen a couple of times with other kids that day
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:00 PM   #30
wes122984
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Not sure how clean i can keep it but will try.

I was bartending for a restaurant when i was 19 or 20 and everybody that works there is friends and hangs out.
One of the girls was going through a breakup with her bf and said she needed to go buy an adult toy to keep her from going back to him. She asked me for a ride to the adult store. ( condom sense on greenville ave). She lived accross the street from the restaurant and walked to work and didnt have her own car.
I agreed and after our shift we left and drove to the store. This particular store had a sign saying to park around back which i did not see. I parked on the side in a normal parking spot.
We go in and she buys the biggest blackest dong she could find. This thing couldnt even fit inside the black dark plastic bags they provide for discreetness. We walk out side to find in that 10 min window my truck had been towed.....

" My" truck was in my parents name. Had to call them to come get us and get the truck released back to me. There we are sitting in the back seat with some random girl with a big black dong sticking out after being picked up from the sex store..

My parents couldnt quit laughing and cracking jokes at us.
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:02 PM   #31
220swift
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I was living in New York City a long time ago. I had a date with a young lady that was way above my pay grade. We were to meet in Grand Central Station by the big clock in the middle of the floor.

There is an escalator that goes down to the main floor that I took to get down there, and she was already waiting.

I was wearing a new Brooks Brothers suit and a brand new tie that I paid too much for.
On the way down, I had a sneezing fit and sneezed several times before getting to the main floor. I regained my composure and confidently walked up to her to say hello. She was intently staring at my brand new tie with horror on her face.

A creature that was deposited from my nose (and belonged in a Kleenex) was in the middle of my new tie. I calmly took off my new tie and threw it in the trash.

The date did not go well.....
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:32 PM   #32
TxSon1836
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Quote:


Originally Posted by Puggy625 View Post

There's just so, so many. I'll have to think a little while on it. I'm sure one or two involves passing grass at inopportune times.

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Gas

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he coulda meant grass
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:36 PM   #33
Quackerbox
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One time I was uhhÖ.doing something with this ex girlfriend when I still lived at home. My parents had gone out with friends and where to return the following day. I woke up the next day to my dad throwing a box of trojans into my bedroom.

She was loud and my parents where home the whole time

Last edited by Quackerbox; 06-26-2019 at 02:39 PM.
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:47 PM   #34
Etxbuckman
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One time I was uhhÖ.doing something with this ex girlfriend when I still lived at home. My parents had gone out with friends and where to return the following day. I woke up the next day to my dad throwing a box of trojans into my bedroom.

She was loud and my parents where home the whole time
Bahahahaha! Love it.
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Old 06-26-2019, 02:50 PM   #35
RascalArms
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Location: Forney, TX
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Originally Posted by wes122984 View Post
Not sure how clean i can keep it but will try.

I was bartending for a restaurant when i was 19 or 20 and everybody that works there is friends and hangs out.
One of the girls was going through a breakup with her bf and said she needed to go buy an adult toy to keep her from going back to him. She asked me for a ride to the adult store. ( condom sense on greenville ave). She lived accross the street from the restaurant and walked to work and didnt have her own car.
I agreed and after our shift we left and drove to the store. This particular store had a sign saying to park around back which i did not see. I parked on the side in a normal parking spot.
We go in and she buys the biggest blackest dong she could find. This thing couldnt even fit inside the black dark plastic bags they provide for discreetness. We walk out side to find in that 10 min window my truck had been towed.....

" My" truck was in my parents name. Had to call them to come get us and get the truck released back to me. There we are sitting in the back seat with some random girl with a big black dong sticking out after being picked up from the sex store..

My parents couldnt quit laughing and cracking jokes at us.
You are the winner so far IMO.

My story isnít nearly as traumatic. Apparently I failed to listen to the doctorís pre-op instructions prior to having my vasectomy procedure years ago. Let me tell ya.....itís embarrassing having the pills shaved by a gorgeous nurse
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Old 06-26-2019, 03:11 PM   #36
rileydog
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Originally Posted by RascalArms View Post
You are the winner so far IMO.

My story isnít nearly as traumatic. Apparently I failed to listen to the doctorís pre-op instructions prior to having my vasectomy procedure years ago. Let me tell ya.....itís embarrassing having the pills shaved by a gorgeous nurse
Or your soldier saluting the nurse and she thumps the end of him to lower the mast!!!!!

Or so I have heard....
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Old 06-26-2019, 03:36 PM   #37
Drycreek3189
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When I was working in Williston, ND a bunch of years ago, I made a date with an Indian girl. We were at the Missouri Club and it was late. Went to pick her up and when she came to the door I asked if she was home. She laughed and I realized it was her. I guess Gilley was right, they all DO get prettier at closing time.

Just thought of another: On one of my straight-through twenty-four hour drives from ND to Texas I was so tired I went into the women's restroom at a rest area. I had no idea until I heard a little boy say "Mama, .........." It sent chills up my back. I had a pistol (back then that would get you jailed) and all the money I owned in my front pocket. Perfect recipe for a few days at the gray bar hotel. Besides that, I didn't even get to pee......

Last edited by Drycreek3189; 06-26-2019 at 03:41 PM.
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Old 06-26-2019, 03:36 PM   #38
-HIC-
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Originally Posted by tx_basser View Post
Son was one year old at the time, and at Childrens Hospital in Dallas due to a prolonged ear infection and needed a central line for antibiotics. My wife was staying at the hospital with him during the day, and I was relieving her at night so she could go home get some rest and take care of daughter.

I was headed to downtown on I-30 after having some Taco Bell about an hour prior, and my gut started talking to me... and it got worse at the I-30/I-35 split to where... there was going to be an explosion.. it was just a matter of could I to the hospital in time. I flew into the parking lot and all of the handicapped spots were taken, so I just parked at the entrance and ran inside.

Found the nearest bathroom and a kid was in the stall and it was a one-holer. I could not hold it any longer and ripped my pants down to explode into the urinal. Problem was it was just a tad too late, as I exploded and completely crapped inside my pants. I tried to clean up some, but it was just too much so I tucked my pants legs into my socks and just walked up to my sons room.

Gravity has pretty much taken over at this point and I had about 3 lbs of mud/sewer water in my pant legs and socks, and trail of brown liquid every 5-6 ft down the corridors. I made it to my sons room and told wife what happened, so she got me a pair of those paper pants/shirts from a nurse while I showered in my sons room. She took all of my clothes and put them in a garbage bag and found a coin operated washer/dryer and got them clean.

We still laugh about it, and wife/I told our 20 year old son about it a few months back after he was complaining about having a rough day.
Well, resigning to the fact that you are using the urinal had me rolling.. This is happening one way or another, right now!!
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Old 06-26-2019, 03:46 PM   #39
MasterOfNothing
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I have several but I'll share this one.

So I work for a major texas retailer with three letters in the name. One day i was working out a pallet of bananas (60 cases). I started pulling boxes from the top of the pallet one by one. As i was doing that a GORGEOUS girl was heading my way. I had been working out consistently for several months so i was pretty jacked. So to "show off" and "impress" the girl walking my way i started over flexing my biceps and back muscles as i pulled the 40lb banana boxes off the pallet. But one of the boxes for some reason seemed stuck as I was trying to pull it off the pallet.

By now the 8ft pallet was now a little over my head so I still couldn't see the top of the pallet. I tried pulling the box off, but it wouldn't budge. The girl was getting closer and i didn't want her to think I couldn't take off a box off a pallet. So grabbed the side of the banana box (which was at eye level) under handed and i started pulling as hard a I could. Well the box which is made out cardboard tore under the strain and i punched myself HARD IN THE FACE. You even heard the echo in the store. I was super embarrassed that I couldn't even look at the pretty girl that was 2ft away. I walked to the back of the store with my tail between my legs.

Eventually i came back to the sales floor and when I looked to see why the box was stuck I saw that the stack of bananas was held down with mule tape. I dont know if the girl saw me punch myself. I was too embarrassed to even see if she did. I made sure to stay humble after that....please don't tell my wife
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Old 06-26-2019, 03:52 PM   #40
HoustonHunter94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wes122984 View Post
Not sure how clean i can keep it but will try.

I was bartending for a restaurant when i was 19 or 20 and everybody that works there is friends and hangs out.
One of the girls was going through a breakup with her bf and said she needed to go buy an adult toy to keep her from going back to him. She asked me for a ride to the adult store. ( condom sense on greenville ave). She lived accross the street from the restaurant and walked to work and didnt have her own car.
I agreed and after our shift we left and drove to the store. This particular store had a sign saying to park around back which i did not see. I parked on the side in a normal parking spot.
We go in and she buys the biggest blackest dong she could find. This thing couldnt even fit inside the black dark plastic bags they provide for discreetness. We walk out side to find in that 10 min window my truck had been towed.....

" My" truck was in my parents name. Had to call them to come get us and get the truck released back to me. There we are sitting in the back seat with some random girl with a big black dong sticking out after being picked up from the sex store..

My parents couldnt quit laughing and cracking jokes at us.
That is pretty terrible!! ALso reminds me of the A-HOLE tow truck drivers down on Greenville. I think they just hung out waiting to get folks. I went to the Regal Beagle one time and wasn't in there 5 min and came out to see my truck going around the corner backwards in tow. $$$ and mucho aggravation.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:17 PM   #41
RattlesnakeDan
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I was working at a full service gas station back in Montana and a gal came in to pay for her gas. It was cold out and she was wearing a Parka with a fuzzy lined hood. As I was taking her money I saw she had a long hair on her cheek so I reach out like any nice guy would do and I say "oh, you got a hair stuck on your face and I proceed to yank on it, twice...not knowing it was attached to her mole....She just stared at me with huge eyes. I said sorry and turned red in the face and turned and left quickly.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:21 PM   #42
Rcole1310
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Default your most embarrassing moments?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon B View Post
Making a traffic stop on a small car. Stomach gurgled as I began my approach. Trying to hold it in.....I did an about face and turned to walk away and heard it squeak out. The small car put her right about even with my belt line.



Walked back to my patrol car like nothing happened. Looked back once I got to my car and she was hanging out of the window fanning the smell away. I was so embarrassed. Legitimate accident .... I felt horrible. Gave her a warning and left.


Brother I know it probably sucked at the time, but this is hilarious! In my mind Iím picturing an officer walking up to an open car window during a traffic stop, then, without saying a word Ripping one off, turning around and walking away. Iím sure it didnít go down like that...but that would be funny to me. Especially the part about her waving the smell away!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Last edited by Rcole1310; 06-26-2019 at 04:26 PM.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:41 PM   #43
mjames76
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I was living with my girlfriend and her parents when I was about 20. I worked at Home Depot and and came home from my 5am - 2 shift washed my clothes and put them in the dryer and took a nap. I had the same shift the next day so I laid down to take a nap. I woke up and the clock said 7:00 and that time of year 7a and 7p light outside was about the same. I jumped up out of bed buck naked running to get my clothes from the dryer. When I bust through the door naked, the living room was full of people. Turned out I wasnt late for work after all.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:42 PM   #44
bps3040
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I had to get my boys operated on to remove varicose veins. So they were doing an ultra sound on them. Yeah, pretty strange. When there is a knock on the door and My Doctor sticks his head in the room and tells me"remember, we are a teaching hospital" and walks in with a dozen medical students....mostly women. I was a tad speechless
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:45 PM   #45
pilar
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One time I was at the urologist and the nurse comes in and tells me Dr Goh will be in shortly and has a medical student with him and do I mind if they observe the exam
ď no problem I am good with that ď in comes Dr Goh with this really really hot Asian Med student, and we all talk about my CAT Scan results, after the results he tells me I will need a examination, and to drop them, fine except that he wants her to do the exam , well self control is not one of my best assets, and well during the exam I get a ďelection ď as dr Goh put it , she was very professional and told me ď these things happen ď and ď not to worry about it ď well the nurse and Goh did seem slightly amused. ( I have no idea why I consented to letting her near my man parts knowing my lack of self control and attraction to Asian women)
My wife wasnít amused when she saw the student and I told her everything was working okay

bps3040 and I must have the same urologist

Last edited by pilar; 06-26-2019 at 04:51 PM.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:52 PM   #46
boh347
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Went to jail covered in baby oil from wrestling 2 chicks in a plastic pool at a bar.
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Old 06-26-2019, 04:52 PM   #47
stingerslinger
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Back in 1975, I was on a flight from San Diego to Texarkana, with a plane change in Dallas. Due to an overnight layover, I decided to fly into Shreveport and catch a bus to Texarkana. During the bus ride, I propped a pillow against the window and dozed off. About half way between Shreveport and Texarkana, the bus hit a bump in the road in a curve. I awoke to see the trees flying by outside the window. Still half asleep and thinking I'm still on an airplane, I jump up an hollered , " We're CRASHING".
Bus driver locked up the brakes, and a poor old lady in front of me started screaming. I apologized and eased back down in my seat. Got some weird looks getting off the bus in T town.
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:02 PM   #48
MikeyG
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I was at a family event - like 50 of my closest kin on my wife's side.
I get a text from an old buddy from high school about a popular girl from HS who became an adult film star (with a link to view her latest feature), so naturally I click on it. I forgot that the loud party music was being streamed from my phone via bluetooth....guess what the party heard for about 10 seconds instead of music from my phone?

Im still mortified.
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:03 PM   #49
popup_menace
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Almost every thread I’ve ever started.

That pretty well sums it up.
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Old 06-26-2019, 06:13 PM   #50
HotRod Hunter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boh347 View Post
Went to jail covered in baby oil from wrestling 2 chicks in a plastic pool at a bar.
You must of been pretty popular that night. Lol Good one
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