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Old 02-25-2020, 09:29 PM   #1
Death from Above
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Default It is not the answer...

Too many of my friends have committed suicide...horrible incident today.

I just know that I could have helped if I had only known what they were dealing with.

So I am putting this out there for any of you that may be in the middle of life struggles.

I am available...I will drop everything and help, or help you get the help you need. I ainít got it all figured out, but for the past 10 years have went through some very specific training that should help you to learn to cope in a healthier manner. Please...know that there is help available, you are not alone in this.

Feel free to reach out anytime an know that your conversations are completely confidential.

Ending your life is NOT the answer...

Brandon
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Old 02-25-2020, 09:31 PM   #2
lovemylegacy
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True
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Old 02-25-2020, 09:32 PM   #3
Burnadell
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Good thread and post!
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Old 02-25-2020, 10:11 PM   #4
Jamesdad07
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Iím sorry for your loss bro. Iíve had some suicides hit close to home (one extremely close) and know the feeling.


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Old 02-25-2020, 10:14 PM   #5
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That's awesome of you to offer to help others...I've had 2 people I know take their lives in a selfish manner, for entirely the wrong reasons....totally unexpected without any signs leading up to it...really took me by suprise...its hard to deal with something like that....my condolences
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Old 02-25-2020, 10:56 PM   #6
T-roy66
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Very nice gesture Brandon. I lost a brother in law September last year and the family still does not have a clue as to what was so bad he could not live with it.
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Old 02-25-2020, 11:54 PM   #7
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I lost an uncle a few years back. He drank himself until he had a heart attack, knowing he was told if he drinks hard liquor he will die. He was having custody issues with his wife at the time. Sad part is when I was going through my divorce my little brother noticed me going down a similar, but not near as severe, road. He invited me to dinner one night and told me words I'll never forget... "Don't be like Uncle Paul." Broke my heart and to this day I thank him for that conversation. His death devastated our family, especially my mom and grand parents. Good on you and yes this is a very good thread.
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Old 02-26-2020, 12:05 AM   #8
okrattler
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I've known several people that chose to take their own life. Unfortunately there's not much you can say or do for someone traveling down that path. Or at least in my experience because knowing what I know of them now they had drugs and alcohol in their system which lead them to do what they did. Had it not have been for mind altering substances I am almost sure that they wouldn't have done that. It wasn't them that killed their self. They weren't the people I knew at that point because the people I knew would have realized that they could overcome the obstacles they were running from. And they could have.

So no it isn't the answer. If you let life beat you down it will. And the only way it's going to beat you is if you lay down and die. If the sun comes up tomorrow that's just another opportunity to change your life if you think it needs it.

Last edited by okrattler; 02-26-2020 at 12:11 AM.
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Old 02-26-2020, 12:21 AM   #9
TX_Kevin
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My brother in law killed himself and left my sister in a real tough spot with 5 kids. I will put myself out there as well. I may not have any answers, but I have a listening ear and will try to help. And I too care.

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Old 02-26-2020, 12:28 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okrattler View Post
I've known several people that chose to take their own life. Unfortunately there's not much you can say or do for someone traveling down that path. Or at least in my experience because knowing what I know of them now they had drugs and alcohol in their system which lead them to do what they did. Had it not have been for mind altering substances I am almost sure that they wouldn't have done that. It wasn't them that killed their self. They weren't the people I knew at that point because the people I knew would have realized that they could overcome the obstacles they were running from. And they could have.

So no it isn't the answer. If you let life beat you down it will. And the only way it's going to beat you is if you lay down and die. If the sun comes up tomorrow that's just another opportunity to change your life if you think it needs it.
Sir,
Many of our friends who have issues with mental illness attempt to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. It gives them some relief from symptoms but usually gets them deeper over their head. Solution is for us all to take the stigma off of getting treatment for mental illness. Right now men have an easier time talking about treatment for ED than mental illness.
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Old 02-26-2020, 01:22 AM   #11
Black Ice
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Default It is not the answer...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death from Above View Post
Too many of my friends have committed suicide...horrible incident today.



I just know that I could have helped if I had only known what they were dealing with.



So I am putting this out there for any of you that may be in the middle of life struggles.



I am available...I will drop everything and help, or help you get the help you need. I ainít got it all figured out, but for the past 10 years have went through some very specific training that should help you to learn to cope in a healthier manner. Please...know that there is help available, you are not alone in this.



Feel free to reach out anytime an know that your conversations are completely confidential.



Ending your life is NOT the answer...



Brandon


My BIL sent me a text last weekend out of the blue that scared the crap out of me. I stayed on the phone with him until 3:00 am.





Last edited by Black Ice; 02-26-2020 at 01:36 AM.
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Old 02-26-2020, 05:37 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PlanoDano View Post
Sir,
Many of our friends who have issues with mental illness attempt to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. It gives them some relief from symptoms but usually gets them deeper over their head. Solution is for us all to take the stigma off of getting treatment for mental illness. Right now men have an easier time talking about treatment for ED than mental illness.
100%
The stigma around mental health is awful. Weíve been studying mental health a minuscule fraction of the time as physical health. We still donít understand the impact, fully.
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Old 02-26-2020, 06:16 AM   #13
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I lost my best friend and hunting mentor two weeks before this past Christmas. Never had a clue about his demons. It still hurts me and I think about him every day while wondering what could I have done. Ask your buddies how they're really feeling. God bless all.

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Old 02-26-2020, 06:20 AM   #14
Quackerbox
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
My BIL sent me a text last weekend out of the blue that scared the crap out of me. I stayed on the phone with him until 3:00 am.




dang man!

Good on you for being there for him.

Ive seen suicide from all walks of life and age classes. Some I understand and some I just don't it.
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Old 02-26-2020, 06:44 AM   #15
Death from Above
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Originally Posted by JLivi1224 View Post
100%
The stigma around mental health is awful. Weíve been studying mental health a minuscule fraction of the time as physical health. We still donít understand the impact, fully.
I too think the stigma around mental illness is an issue but not like it was 10 years ago.

I think we are now running up against a lack of knowledge/counsel/empathy towards those that struggle. Maybe 60/40. I donít know for certain but that is close to what I am seeing

Just want everyone to know HELP IS AVAILABLE, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
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Old 02-26-2020, 07:25 AM   #16
okrattler
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Originally Posted by PlanoDano View Post
Sir,
Many of our friends who have issues with mental illness attempt to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. It gives them some relief from symptoms but usually gets them deeper over their head. Solution is for us all to take the stigma off of getting treatment for mental illness. Right now men have an easier time talking about treatment for ED than mental illness.
Very true. I had a friend in high school that killed himself a few years after he graduated. I sat in a garage with him and just a few buddies a week before and drank a beer or two. He acted like everything was fine. Never once broke down crying or told us he was having problems at work and with his girlfriend. Which is what lead up to his death. Both of which are things you can fix. You can always get a new job,a new wife or girlfriend and you can make more money if you're broke. You can't if you're dead though. Wish he would have said something so we could have told him that.
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Old 02-26-2020, 07:57 AM   #17
Charles
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Condolences and prayers sent my friend!
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Old 02-26-2020, 07:58 AM   #18
RascalArms
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Default It is not the answer...

Most people harbor pains you may never know about. We obviously all donít handle the pain the same way. Some learn how to deal with tragedy and somehow survive over time and are more capable than others.

I feel too many times that those that end it just fall into a terrible ďperfect stormĒ of bad timing. Drugs and alcohol temporarily medicate the pain and because they are in an altered state of mind, itís easier to make a permanent decision to a temporary problem.

Itís sad....life sucks at times and you just have to struggle through it.

Sometime the pain is harder on the survivors.
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Old 02-26-2020, 10:30 AM   #19
Black Ice
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Default It is not the answer...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Quackerbox View Post
dang man!



Good on you for being there for him.



Ive seen suicide from all walks of life and age classes. Some I understand and some I just don't it.


Havenít been able to get him on the phone since but heís at least texting me.


Not really sure what to do. Heís getting divorced it sounds like and heís several states away with nobody there except for his ex.


Thinking of telling him Iím booking a flight out there and asking if he will commit to picking me up at the airport.







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Last edited by Black Ice; 02-26-2020 at 10:35 AM.
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Old 02-26-2020, 10:38 AM   #20
jerp
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Sorry for your loss - losing someone close to you due to suicide is gut wrenching. On a positive note at least now men are becoming more likely to talk openly about depression which is the common denominator in most all of these cases. It wasn't too long ago people with depression were told to "man up and snap out of it" instead of recognizing it for the insidious disease it is. Someone committing suicide brought shame on their family and were often never spoken about again. There's been progress but there is a long way to go.
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Old 02-26-2020, 10:50 AM   #21
Tryton
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Thanks to all that are aware and get involved. Just caring and conversation has saved a lot of people and changed their outlook. Unfortunately sometimes it doesn't matter. I have lost 2 friends over the last couple years. One was a total surprise and to this day I have no idea why. the other one talked about it for a year before he did it. So many people stepped up and offered help, and assistance, and love but in the end it, he did it anyway.

Prayers to all of the families effected by this.
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Old 02-26-2020, 10:58 AM   #22
ACCURACYINC
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It is not the answer. I've been through it with one of my closest friends a little over 3 years ago and it was devastating to everyone who cared about him. Sometimes you just can't know the demons a person is struggling with. In hindsight, there were warning signs, but he continually told me he was fine and just going through a rough patch he was sure he'd get through. Then it happened, and he made sure I found him... with a self inflicted gunshot to the head. If I ever have a doubt in the future, there will be an intervention whether they like it or not. If you do go through it with someone you care about, you carry a burden of guilt after the fact. You have to remember that it is not your fault, and you might need some counseling of your own. I did.
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Old 02-26-2020, 11:11 AM   #23
RascalArms
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Originally Posted by ACCURACYINC View Post
It is not the answer. I've been through it with one of my closest friends a little over 3 years ago and it was devastating to everyone who cared about him. Sometimes you just can't know the demons a person is struggling with. In hindsight, there were warning signs, but he continually told me he was fine and just going through a rough patch he was sure he'd get through. Then it happened, and he made sure I found him... with a self inflicted gunshot to the head. If I ever have a doubt in the future, there will be an intervention whether they like it or not. If you do go through it with someone you care about, you carry a burden of guilt after the fact. You have to remember that it is not your fault, and you might need some counseling of your own. I did.
Great advice. Sorry for your loss and the trauma of dealing with the aftermath.
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Old 02-26-2020, 11:19 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post

Thinking of telling him Iím booking a flight out there and asking if he will commit to picking me up at the airport.

brother, my gut is screaming you should do just that...
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Old 02-26-2020, 11:47 AM   #25
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brother, my gut is screaming you should do just that...


Same here. And sooner than later.

Sorry you are dealing with this.


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Old 02-26-2020, 11:49 AM   #26
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brother, my gut is screaming you should do just that...
Agreed. Without a second thought.
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Old 02-26-2020, 12:13 PM   #27
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Had a scare yesterday. A friend's son tweeted that he was going to end it all. I got a call from my son about it and texted the kid's father to let him know. He called me, and said that he knew about it and was trying to have him committed ASAP, as he'd stopped taking his meds and gone off the deep end. It shouldn't be as hard as it is to have someone committed.
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Old 02-26-2020, 12:27 PM   #28
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[QUOTE=Black Ice;14722831]My BIL sent me a text last weekend out of the blue that scared the crap out of me. I stayed on the phone with him until 3:00 am.

No offense bud but why would you share that exchange on the internet? Good on you for being there but I think embarrassment and shame are a huge part of the problem. Hopefully you received that phone call and he is in a better place mentally.
No offense intended just my .02.
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Old 02-26-2020, 11:20 PM   #29
TX_Kevin
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[quote=myway;14723594]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
My BIL sent me a text last weekend out of the blue that scared the crap out of me. I stayed on the phone with him until 3:00 am.



No offense bud but why would you share that exchange on the internet? Good on you for being there but I think embarrassment and shame are a huge part of the problem. Hopefully you received that phone call and he is in a better place mentally.

No offense intended just my .02.
Aren't we all family? I for one have more friends from TBH than I can count. Encourage each other. Help. That is what we do here. Internet or no.

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Old 02-27-2020, 12:20 PM   #30
LennyWayne
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
My BIL sent me a text last weekend out of the blue that scared the crap out of me. I stayed on the phone with him until 3:00 am.




.....reading the text string suddenly made my screen blurry.

It looks like you added another day to someones life, brother, and that makes you a hero in my book.
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Old 02-28-2020, 01:43 AM   #31
Black Ice
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Originally Posted by LennyWayne View Post
.....reading the text string suddenly made my screen blurry.



It looks like you added another day to someones life, brother, and that makes you a hero in my book.


Thereís two sides to every story and after posting that text thread I dug in deeper the last couple of days into his past.


He **** near ainít worth saving.









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Old 02-28-2020, 03:12 AM   #32
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****......
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