How do you cope with the loss of a Father

[goose48]

First let me say, I am sorry for your loss. A lot of us have been there. It has been 39 years since I lost my dad and life has never been the same. But, I continue to lean heavily on my faith in God for support. I grew up hunting and fishing with my dad, and he started me down the path that I have continued with my 3 boys and 2 daughters, and I expect they will pass along to their children. I always thought that I could honor my dad the most by striving to be as good a father and life example for my children as he was to me. And, sometimes, when I am hunting and fishing I still talk to him and I know that he is watching down on all of us and smiling. He was very young, and left us suddenly without warning, and time has eased the pain, but not the loss. Repeating the good stories of our times and experiences in the outdoors together with friends and family keeps his memory alive for us. I hope you will do that for your dad as well. We will keep you in our prayers.

[rferg84]

I lost my dad 15 months ago, I still hurt most days when I think of him.

My father in law gave me a bit of wisdom, he lost his dad when he was 20.

You don't ever get over it, you just get through it.

I honestly went to counseling for about four months, it helped me tremendously. It probably isn't for everyone but I don't think I would have coped near as well without it.

I wrote a blog post about it.

https://www.liveitfull.com/

Prayers for you. It's not easy my friend.

[double bogey]

Lost my dad in 2001. He not only instilled the desire to hunt and fish in me, but also several of my friends.
I deer hunted one season after he was gone, but my heart wasn't in it. I ended up pouring myself into my work, and did some dove hunting. Now as I have grandchildren I am trying to get back into deer hunting with them, and my cancer seems to be fighting that effort.
I still have dreams with my father in them, but like most dreams, I can't remember the content after I wake up.
My mom passed in 2011, and very few days pass by without thinking of both of them.

[powderburner]

I lost my pops December 10th to lung cancer that was found on Oct 21st. The day my sister in law died and my wedding anniversary.
He was my best man at my wedding. My hunting and fishing partner all my life. My kids spent tons of time with him.
I struggle all the time.
I know this.
Tried the bottle... I know it does not work. but it was easy... and it did not work
Yelled at God.. Prayed to God... Cussed God...
We go to church and I believe. Always have...

The one thing that has made it better is to talk about it...
Tell stories.. Who cares if people have heard them.. You need to hear them again.
Lean on the memories... Once we lose someone that is all we have.. the memories.
find strangers that enjoy the things you two did and tell them about him.

I think about it like the Indians.

All those that have gone before us live on in the stories and memories.
Its up to you to teach them to the next generation

[MacDaddy67]

I was depressed for 12 months after I lost my dad in an accident. I was the last one he talked to. When I dropped him off at home I said I'll see ya later....The next time I saw him he was in his casket....
He was taken in a auto pedestrian accident at 80 mph....

It hurt me deeply, and I was in denial of how bad it was....
First and only time I went to counseling, it helped me tremendously.

You never get over it, you only get through it....
12 years later and I still tear up when I think of him.....

He wasnt a hunter, fisherman....
When I was 14 he was my father...
When I was 25 he was my dad...
When I was 40 he was my best friend...

I am tearing up now just typing this....

God bless you

[Bobcat13]

I lost my Dad in August, and I was blessed with a little boy a couple years ago. My transition from hunting with Dad to hunting with my son have seemed seamless. The outdoors are a great place to raise kids, and I know he's with us when we go.

It sounds like your dad did a good job of raising you, and I have to say it's thrilling and more emotional than I thought when you realize how blessed you are to have the opportunity to do the same thing with your own.

[EZE]

My Dad was murdered by a habitual criminal when I was 18 so I know what's it like to lose someone unexpected. I'm now 52 and a day doesn't go by without me thinking of him. I think about him a lot when I'm in the woods where it's quiet. Being in the woods has always been good therapy for me and a place where I could think about all the issues that may be going on in life. I feel my Dad's presence there and I can't count the times where I've thanked him for sending a buck my way. Your Dad would want you to continue the tradition so get in the woods and be quiet and let the memories speak to you. Maybe your pops will send you a big Ol Swamp Donkey!

[roughneck266]

My Dad passed away in 2010. The pain isn't as sharp these days, but it's still there. I think about him all the time. I have tried to model how I am, how I want to be, from what I have seen from him.
My dad was truly one of a kind, as I am sure yours was. I don't think we are ever meant to completely "get over" the loss of someone as important to us as a real father is.
I will pray for your healing.

[Fordnandez]

Prayers for you. I know one day it is going to come for my dad and seeing posts like this remind me to make the best of it. Thank you for sharing.

[Chad_E]

I lost my father in August 2017 to a farming accident. I don't think there is a solution and I still have a hard time talking about it. The worst part is my oldest daughter. I fear, as does my wife, that his passing is affecting her and the way she reacts to situations. The question is how do I help her if I don't really know how to help myself. I try to exude strength, suppress the hurt, put one foot in front of the other and only remember the good times. While that works decent for me, it doesn't do anything to help my daughter. Good luck, we all go through it (I guess). You will find your way...

[Hardware]

I lost mine 11/19/2018!!

It was unexpected and it's really hard to deal with the loss. The hardest thing for me is to talk about it to anyone but I've found the more i talk about it, pray about it and grieve the better I feel and less depressed I am. Talk about it with God, the parent that is still here, your spouse, your siblings, your children and friends and realize there will be times that you get really emotional and times you'll be laughing about great memories and stories from others.

I know as times goes by you learn to live with it but there's always that void where the biggest influence in your life once occupied! Everyday I think it sure would be nice to call Dad and talk about life in general or the next hunting/fishing trip.

For me hunting and fishing are great for my mental health as this is where I feel closest to my Dad since his passing!!

[76aggie]

So sad for your loss my friend. I really cannot give any specific advice as we all grieve differently and our hearts heal differently. Like so many others, my Dad taught me how to hunt and fish. From a very early age, I was with him in the woods, marsh or a boat. He passed a little over 6 years ago and I miss him every day. He passed at 87 years of age. He battled Parkinson's for the last several years of his life. I think he was ready to go HOME and we did take some comfort in that. He was a member of the Greatest Generation. A child of the great Depression and a WWII Navy veteran of the Pacific Theatre. He was, and still is, my hero. I too, tear up as I type this.

Carry on.

[Bluesman]

Some Churches sponsor a program called "Grief Share."
You can Google Grief Share and their website has a search function that uses your zip code.
I've attended this program and it's well worth the time.
Spending time with others who are going through grief is a life saving experience.
I highly recommend Grief Share.

[JCSO9530]

Thank you all for the responses. I had no idea I'd get over 50 replies in a day. I see that I am not alone in this struggle and your uplifting words really helped me.

[KNP16]

I lost my dad suddenly in 2012, I was 20 years old. I found him the morning we were supposed to fish a big tournament on Grand Lake, one we had fished 11 years straight. It messed with me bad. Took me a few years to get back on the water and the woods. We did everything together from the time I can remember. Spent a ton of time hunting and fishing all over the state of Texas. I gets easier, but holidays and big events (birth of kids and etc) make it tough. I still have a ways to go but speaking with my minister frequently helped me out a ton. Prayers up for you.