Epic Cooking Fails Anyone?

[sailor]

Tuna cassaroll..took a week, to get the smell outta the house..
Tried to feed it to my 95 pound German Sheppard..
She sniffed it. Sat down, and looked up at me.
And I swear I heard her say. "You really, expect me to eat that"??
I did discover, dogs can actually laugh.

[Jonathan]

I was cooking brisket for the guys at work for Christmas (250lbs of brisket). I didn't pay attention to how level my pit was and at 1:00 am my wife came screaming into the bar yelling about a fire. When I got outside the flames were shooting out of the stacks 20' and both trailer tires blew from the heat while we tried to put out the fire. All the grease ran away from my drain and when my auto heat control kicked on, it lit, blew the doors open and burnt each brisket into little black footballs! We regrouped, threw on chicken and bought all the brisket the local place had and nobody would have known if the smoker trailer wasn't drug up on another trailer behind the shop.

[keng]

my 2 daughters just passed their nursing exams and told me they wanted to throw themselves a party, would we cook for it. I gave them a hard time about grown *** girls throwing a party for themselves, but said we would cook. I had the 3 pork shoulders on in the smokehouse all day, we put 40 lbs of brisket on about 2 am. After drinking all day, at 3 i went to bed, leaving my son and buddy in charge of the fire. at 3:30, the smokehouse caught fire and burned down, along with all the meat. Turns out, the graduation party was actually a surprise 50th birthday party for me and my wife. The walmart fried chicken went over pretty well.

[BowhunterB]

Tried to make tamales one Christmas. Cooked them for two days and they were still not really done. That's when we realized we used too much masa

[ctom87]

Got drunk and burned the beans for a wedding meal

Better to burn the beans at a wedding than spill them is what I have always said.

[ctom87]

I got a couple. Both happened in college when, like OP, I was in my early 20s and had no clue what I was doing. Also like OP, if the meat got hot it must have been done.

1) One day I wanted to make some ribs for some friends. I got the coals heated and threw it on the grill. After "a while," I thought they were done. Took them over to the friends house and we enjoyed them. This one single rack of ribs taught me the following:

• Something can be burnt and undercooked at the same time.
• You have to let the coals turn gray before you put food on the grill.
• Flames aren't a good thing.

2) Fast forward maybe a year and my graduation gift was a Traeger. Sweet! It made grilling easier and with less stress. At the time, Traeger had the "chicken challenge"...follow their recipe and guide, and it'd be the best grilled chicken you ever had.

I followed the instructions to a T. However, I never checked the IT. After X hours, I pulled it off and me and my roommate dug in. The first 1/2 inch I'm sure was excellent...but I'll never forget his face when he kept slicing and it was completely raw.



I am MUCH, MUCH better now.

[Leaverrite]

I have a friend (brisket novice) who injected a brisket with red wine once because a recipe online said so. He then butchered the cook. His story makes me cry laughing every time.

[Gumbo Man]

I got a couple. Both happened in college when, like OP, I was in my early 20s and had no clue what I was doing. Also like OP, if the meat got hot it must have been done.

1) One day I wanted to make some ribs for some friends. I got the coals heated and threw it on the grill. After "a while," I thought they were done. Took them over to the friends house and we enjoyed them. This one single rack of ribs taught me the following:

• Something can be burnt and undercooked at the same time.
• You have to let the coals turn gray before you put food on the grill.
• Flames aren't a good thing.

2) Fast forward maybe a year and my graduation gift was a Traeger. Sweet! It made grilling easier and with less stress. At the time, Traeger had the "chicken challenge"...follow their recipe and guide, and it'd be the best grilled chicken you ever had.

I followed the instructions to a T. However, I never checked the IT. After X hours, I pulled it off and me and my roommate dug in. The first 1/2 inch I'm sure was excellent...but I'll never forget his face when he kept slicing and it was completely raw.



I am MUCH, MUCH better now.

Yea if we had not gotten better we would have died by now.

[KGreene]

In middle school while on one of our camp out hunting trips my brother and I shot a old big mature jack rabbit . We tried to roast it over a camp fire. And went very hungry that night.

[dhall1414]

One time in college with ctom87 as my roommate we accidentally bought a big bag of raw peanuts instead of the roasted. So we decided to make roast peanuts. Except we didn't have access to an oven, so we did the only logical thing. We poured hand sanitizer over the peanuts and set them on fire haha. Afterwards the shells were burned to a crisp, the peanuts were still raw, and get tasted like hand sanitizer smelled.

[mikemorvan]

The first time i ever tried to fry fish on my own, maybe 7th or 8th grade / total rogue operation, i tried to fry perfectly good bass in karo syrup. Didn't really work out.

[Strummer]

Got drunk and blew up a pressure cooker cooking beans .

[ctom87]

One time in college with ctom87 as my roommate we accidentally bought a big bag of raw peanuts instead of the roasted. So we decided to make roast peanuts. Except we didn't have access to an oven, so we did the only logical thing. We poured hand sanitizer over the peanuts and set them on fire haha. Afterwards the shells were burned to a crisp, the peanuts were still raw, and get tasted like hand sanitizer smelled.

Bahahahaha young and dumb.

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[osochuck]

Grabbed the cinnamon instead of comino for chili….you can’t fix that mistake no matter how much seasonings you add


and yes chili should have beans…lol


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[dhall1414]

Bahahahaha young and dumb.

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Yeah that was 16 years ago. ***