One Liners?

[Gunnyart]

Hurting you is the last thing I want to do...
But it's still on my list.

[Goldeneagle]

It's time to go kiss the dog and kick the old lady. (An old co-worker used to say that at quitting time.)

[Benno]

Stand em on their heads, they all look like sisters.

[dosrobles]

Baseball coach

“There’s no secret to winning, just play teams worse than your team.”

[Howdy]

I heard the other day that yardstick companies aren't making them any longer.

[Smokeater]

I woke up last night and I was driving!!

Ha! Word! ...and if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!

[RebeccaCreekKid]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

He died.

[EliteDriver]

If Jack@sses could fly, this place would be an airport.

[Bowshark]

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up!

[Dr. Evil]

Go ugly early!!

[Gumbo Man]

If you can’t say anything good, you might be an A-hole.

[SaltwaterSlick]

You're a melancholy person... body like a melon and a face like a collie...

[SaltwaterSlick]

So you're gonna come after me....well son you might just have more hell turnin' me loose than you did catchin' me!

[SaltwaterSlick]

You're drivin' me crazy!!
Pack light! It's a short trip!

[Buck_jane]

go ugly early!!

hahaha!!!!