Poacher!

[be12hunt]

This thread is awesome...not the poaching part though
If one of our old neighbors has a gate camera then there are likely similar pictures of me out there somewhere. I was begging my dad to stop his truck and finally told him he either pulled over or would need new seat covers.

I feel the need to come out with my deep dark story so here goes. Sitting in a ladder stand about an hour before dawn I got the BG’s. I figured I had time before the deer started walking and it was cold so I needed a little time to get out of my coveralls. I climbed down and did my business off into the woods and used my only napkin. Short time later I realize I wasn’t finished. I tried to hold it seeing I didn’t have anything to wipe with. It wasn’t possible so I opted to sacrifice a sock. Apparently I’d waited too long and as I started my way down the ladder my sphincter gave out. I was horrified and firemanned my way down the rest of the ladder. Made it to the bottom and ripped my coveralls off. Afterwords, realizing I was going to have to put them back on, I sacrificed the other sock to give me a buffer between my hiney and my very dirty britches. I left the stand without hunting and tried not to sit down in my truck seat on my way back to pickup my buddy. I laugh about it now but then........I swore him to secrecy.
Sometimes you simply cannot hold it. I’m glad there were no cameras.


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Hahahahaha

[Fooser]

Wow he must not really care if you know he’s poaching

[Fooser]

He must not care if he’s caught showing his face and all

[Etxbuckman]

I feel the need to come out with my deep dark story so here goes. Sitting in a ladder stand about an hour before dawn I got the BG’s. I figured I had time before the deer started walking and it was cold so I needed a little time to get out of my coveralls. I climbed down and did my business off into the woods and used my only napkin. Short time later I realize I wasn’t finished. I tried to hold it seeing I didn’t have anything to wipe with. It wasn’t possible so I opted to sacrifice a sock. Apparently I’d waited too long and as I started my way down the ladder my sphincter gave out. I was horrified and firemanned my way down the rest of the ladder. Made it to the bottom and ripped my coveralls off. Afterwords, realizing I was going to have to put them back on, I sacrificed the other sock to give me a buffer between my hiney and my very dirty britches. I left the stand without hunting and tried not to sit down in my truck seat on my way back to pickup my buddy. I laugh about it now but then........I swore him to secrecy.
Sometimes you simply cannot hold it. I’m glad there were no cameras.


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LOL That’s hilarious.


One time hunting a buddy’s stand I had the BG’s right before daylight but the door on the stand was stuck. I was trapped and had to GO. So I lifted a corner of the carpet on the floor and dropped it there. When I was done I laid the carpet back over and let it be. I killed a NICE 8-point about 20 minutes later so after that I beat the door open and got out.

OP I hope you catch the poacher.

[MasonCo.]

Look on the ground in front of the truck, post ****. Had some explosive brownish red pressure behind that one.


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[tdwinklr]

Guy in the white truck, emergency poop. We have all been there. Orange shirt dude is poaching.

yep.

[rut-ro]

Awesomeness LOL

[Hoggslayer]

I feel the need to come out with my deep dark story so here goes. Sitting in a ladder stand about an hour before dawn I got the BG’s. I figured I had time before the deer started walking and it was cold so I needed a little time to get out of my coveralls. I climbed down and did my business off into the woods and used my only napkin. Short time later I realize I wasn’t finished. I tried to hold it seeing I didn’t have anything to wipe with. It wasn’t possible so I opted to sacrifice a sock. Apparently I’d waited too long and as I started my way down the ladder my sphincter gave out. I was horrified and firemanned my way down the rest of the ladder. Made it to the bottom and ripped my coveralls off. Afterwords, realizing I was going to have to put them back on, I sacrificed the other sock to give me a buffer between my hiney and my very dirty britches. I left the stand without hunting and tried not to sit down in my truck seat on my way back to pickup my buddy. I laugh about it now but then........I swore him to secrecy.
Sometimes you simply cannot hold it. I’m glad there were no cameras.


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Some thing are better left a secret.

Hoggslayer

[Darrenkw]

LMAO at the emergency dumper. Been there done that..


The "poacher" sure isn't worried about staying in stealth mode with that blze orange shirt?. Are we sure he's not a friend of a friend? I mean most poachers just don't take out for the day in blaze orange and want to make sure they are visible to other hunters.

That’s what I was thinking!

[DaveC]

Couple years ago I was making a fly trip to our place near Crockett one morning. I stopped at buccee to get a coffee and breakfast.

I chose "The hippo" breakfast taco

Jump back in the truck and I'm east on 21 trying to beat sunrise. For those of you who know the road about halfway between madisonville and midway theres a creek bottom with 2 bridges. That's as far as the hippo made it. On my way home there was a dead bobcat in the same spot.

Who knows what killed that bobcat

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Interesting, My pops had to reject a Bucee's breakfast taco out the front hatch on our way to the lease last season. He said "Pull Over" and I knew not to hesitate.
Weird part was when he was done with the eject I looked in my rearview to pull out onto the road and there was a lady parked behind us watching the show . I'm guessing she pulled over to talk on the cell but got a free gross show she didn't ask for.

[DedDuk]

LOL That’s hilarious.


One time hunting a buddy’s stand I had the BG’s right before daylight but the door on the stand was stuck. I was trapped and had to GO. So I lifted a corner of the carpet on the floor and dropped it there. When I was done I laid the carpet back over and let it be. I killed a NICE 8-point about 20 minutes later so after that I beat the door open and got out.

OP I hope you catch the poacher.

Dude, the smell of un-submerged crap is awful and you continued to sit there? And doing that to a friend is crappy.... Pun intended

[splitfinger]

I heard a story several years ago about a man that just bought a new set of insulated coveralls. While on stand he had to go and bad. He dropped the coveralls and did his business. A while afterwards, he kept smelling crap. When he got back to camp all his buddies said "who did it"? He dropped his coveralls and had his "business" all down the back of his shirt and inside of the coveralls. He failed to tuck the back of his coveralls in front and away from the chute.

[CEO]

I feel the need to come out with my deep dark story so here goes. Sitting in a ladder stand about an hour before dawn I got the BG’s. I figured I had time before the deer started walking and it was cold so I needed a little time to get out of my coveralls. I climbed down and did my business off into the woods and used my only napkin. Short time later I realize I wasn’t finished. I tried to hold it seeing I didn’t have anything to wipe with. It wasn’t possible so I opted to sacrifice a sock. Apparently I’d waited too long and as I started my way down the ladder my sphincter gave out. I was horrified and firemanned my way down the rest of the ladder. Made it to the bottom and ripped my coveralls off. Afterwords, realizing I was going to have to put them back on, I sacrificed the other sock to give me a buffer between my hiney and my very dirty britches. I left the stand without hunting and tried not to sit down in my truck seat on my way back to pickup my buddy. I laugh about it now but then........I swore him to secrecy.
Sometimes you simply cannot hold it. I’m glad there were no cameras.


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This reminds me of one my favorite outdoor poop stories. I was at a bar with my wife and our friends. I get the belly cramps going and decide I can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Like most bars the bathroom is not equipped to handle anything more than #1 so I decide to hit the woods next to the parking lot.

I walk outside, make sure no one is watching, and sneak in. At this point I realized it had rained since we went in. I start getting pretty wet so I find a yaupon tree to lean against. I do my thing and sacrifice a sock.

This whole ordeal took about 10 minutes so when I walk back in and find our group my wife gives me the stink eye thinking I was off doing something I shouldn't have been. I tell her; "calm down, I had to drop one next to the parking lot". She said bs so I raised up my pants let to show a missing sock and she was horrified.

[Saltgrass Mikerr]

Aww hell naw!

Ditto

[MacDaddy67]

East Texas hunting at its finest.....

Everything is fair game to that neck of the woods for some people