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Old 03-27-2023, 07:32 PM   #1
TN_boy
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Default Dad jokes

Clean and funny...

Let's hear them!



Why did the scarecrow win an award?













Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Old 03-27-2023, 07:35 PM   #2
Gumbo Man
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Knock Knock

Who’s there

Dave

Dave’s not here.
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Old 03-27-2023, 07:51 PM   #3
jerp
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I tried my ten best puns to see if I could get her to laugh - but no pun in ten did.
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Old 03-27-2023, 07:54 PM   #4
Preacher Man
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How do you get a napkin to dance?




You put a little boogy in it.
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Old 03-27-2023, 08:09 PM   #5
scott1022
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What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days.
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Old 03-27-2023, 08:16 PM   #6
dosrobles
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What’s it called when a rooster lays an egg?

Dad yolk.
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Old 03-27-2023, 08:33 PM   #7
Austin
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Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road.


It was stuck in a crack
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Old 03-27-2023, 08:39 PM   #8
GarGuy
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You hear about the haunted handkerchief? It had a bugger in it.
You think that's funny but it snot.
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Old 03-27-2023, 08:41 PM   #9
SmTx
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I spent the weekend in the hospital after a peekaboo incident.

They put me in the ICU
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Old 03-28-2023, 06:20 AM   #10
fishfeeder01
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Why do cows not wear socks ?
its because they Lac-tose !!!
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Old 03-28-2023, 07:43 AM   #11
deano70
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if April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?



Pilgrims
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Old 03-28-2023, 07:46 AM   #12
Brazos Hunter
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(Q)What do you call a deer with no eyes?
(A) No eye deer?

(Q) What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
(A) Still no eye deer?




Michael
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Old 03-28-2023, 07:57 AM   #13
TexanTiger
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Why cant a bike stand on its own?

Bc its two tired
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Old 03-28-2023, 08:06 AM   #14
John Paul
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What do you get crossing and elephant and a rhino..

el if I no..
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Old 03-28-2023, 09:31 AM   #15
zac221
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Iím going to store these jokes where dad jokes are stored

The dadabase


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Old 03-28-2023, 09:34 AM   #16
Leon County Slayer
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Stopped at McDonald's on the way to work this morning and just had a kid's meal.
The mom wasn't too happy with me!
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Old 03-28-2023, 09:35 AM   #17
PapaSmurf
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Did you know 6 out of 7 dwarves is not happy!
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Old 03-28-2023, 09:45 AM   #18
da_pepper
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My son asked me if I could tell him what an eclipse was.

I told him, "No sun"
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Old 03-28-2023, 11:05 AM   #19
Texas Grown
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I broke my finger at work the other day. On the other hand, I'm fine.

The fish are biting and there's hogs to be kill-t. Gotta go!
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Old 03-28-2023, 11:08 AM   #20
Texas Grown
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I think circles are pointless.

The fish are biting and there's hogs to be kill-t. Gotta go!
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Old 03-28-2023, 11:12 AM   #21
Texas Grown
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What did one nut say as it was chasing another nut?

I'ma cashew!

The fish are biting and there's hogs to be kill-t. Gotta go!
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Old 03-28-2023, 11:19 AM   #22
Bluedevil
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If a jockey wears jockey shorts and a soccer player wears soccer shorts, what does the President wear?

Depends...
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Old 03-28-2023, 12:11 PM   #23
Martin
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My bossy wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, that's when I put my foot down!
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Old 03-28-2023, 01:41 PM   #24
AM Cloutier
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What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

Last edited by AM Cloutier; 03-28-2023 at 01:44 PM.
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Old 03-28-2023, 01:47 PM   #25
mikebyrge
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What is the difference between the people in Dubai and the people in Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubia do not like the Flintsones. The people in Abu Dhabi do....
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Old 03-28-2023, 01:52 PM   #26
Pushbutton2
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What's black, white and red all over?
The Bible
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Old 03-28-2023, 01:54 PM   #27
Pushbutton2
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Why is the mushroom the life of a party?
It's a real fun ghi

Why isn't the onion? Frequently makes people cry
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:04 PM   #28
Calitexembalmer
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My Dad was a radio announcer. When he walked under bridges you couldn't hear him talk.
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:10 PM   #29
80transam
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Change all your passwords to Kenny...Then you'll have Kenny Logins
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:32 PM   #30
Artos
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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her...they would rearrange the furniture.


Not sure if todays kiddos know who she was.
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:38 PM   #31
Txbowslaughter
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Why don’t chickens wear pants? Their ****** is on their face.

Clearing pecking or a different tense isn’t allowed.
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:47 PM   #32
TC
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Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll Let It Go...

ziiinggg
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:47 PM   #33
Ouch
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What do you call a french fry with a badge?

A po-po-tato
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Old 03-28-2023, 02:50 PM   #34
TN_boy
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What do boogers do when they get married?

Tie the snot
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Old 03-28-2023, 03:32 PM   #35
jerp
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Have you noticed that dad jokes are like farts? The person that issues it laughs and everybody close by groans....
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Old 03-28-2023, 03:41 PM   #36
RDT
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What do you call a cow that's laying down





Ground beef
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Old 03-28-2023, 03:42 PM   #37
RDT
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What do you call a one legged waitress






Ilene
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Old 03-28-2023, 04:09 PM   #38
Richard M.
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Why did the scarecrow get an award?


He was outstanding in his field.
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Old 03-28-2023, 04:14 PM   #39
rjtkdplus
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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, it’s not coming anyway.
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Old 03-28-2023, 06:22 PM   #40
Grndchecker
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If a mom tells a dad joke is she a Faux Pa?
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Old 03-28-2023, 06:44 PM   #41
highspeed
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What do you get when you cross a hippie and a ninja???

Peace and quiet


What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup??

Anyone can roast beef
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Old 03-28-2023, 06:51 PM   #42
Preacher Man
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What does toilet paper do?

It hangs around Uranus and wipes out the klingons
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Old 03-28-2023, 07:39 PM   #43
8th1
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Did you hear about the baby that got a case of beer dropped on him at the store?


Nothing happened to him. It was lite beer.
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Old 03-28-2023, 08:51 PM   #44
buzzbait
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I was walking through the woods yesterday and found a suitcase with a fox and her cubs inside. So I called the authorities and told them about my find
Dispatch asked me if they were moving?
I told her, I donít know, I donít know where they live.


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Old 03-28-2023, 09:40 PM   #45
Chew
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What did the buffalo say when his boy went off to college? Bison.

How do you know when an elephant's at your house? His bike is outside.

How do you know when there are two elephants at your house? The handlebars are bent.

How do you know when there's an elephant in your fridge? Footprints in the butter.

Dads of teens:

What is the black stuff between an elephant's toes? Slow natives.

What did the elephant say to the naked guy? How do you breathe out of that thing?

Last edited by Chew; 03-28-2023 at 10:39 PM.
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Old 03-28-2023, 09:58 PM   #46
krtnorris
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What do you call a dinosaur fart?

A blast from the past.
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Old 03-28-2023, 10:00 PM   #47
krtnorris
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ouch View Post
What do you call a french fry with a badge?

A po-po-tato
Hilarious
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Old 03-30-2023, 09:01 AM   #48
da_pepper
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Why do cows wear bells?

Cause their horns don't work.
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Old 03-31-2023, 09:24 AM   #49
kmack
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What's the difference between a Tuna and a piano?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
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Old 03-31-2023, 09:34 AM   #50
CWP
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In case you have not seen it, a recent report says that dad jokes are good for kids because “By continually telling their children jokes that are so bad that they’re embarrassing, fathers may push their children’s limits for how much embarrassment they can handle. They show their children that embarrassment isn’t fatal.”

https://nypost.com/2023/03/17/dad-jo...nting-experts/

https://www.fox5ny.com/news/dad-joke...ts-experts-say
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