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Anybody else single and emptynester in their 40's or early 50s?

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    Anybody else single and emptynester in their 40's or early 50s?

    Divorced again a year or so ago ( took like a year to get divorced, so been single about 2yrs ). My youngest son, 15yo, lives with me.

    So in about 2-1/2yrs I will be single, no kids at home at 49yo. Despite my divorces, I have had kids live with me for the past 22yrs.

    I do occasionally get lonely, but really not bad at all, especially with what I have been through, so most likely will be single the rest of my life.

    So then what? That may sound kind of dumb, but the last half of my life has primarily been devoted to raising my kids. Not that I was particularly good at it, but in the end, my base reason for everything was to provide for them.

    So now I have a little bit of money and will soon be free. I fear my drive will be gone once my son moves out. Or maybe thats ok? Maybe it will be time to coast? To take it easy and just live?

    I dont know. Any advice from those that have been there?

    #2
    With whats going on in this country you want to coast? Get fit get prepared

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      #3
      Time to enjoy life….. have fun with your new found income. Live for yourself and not someone else. Do things you want to do and haven’t been able to do. Spoil grandkids when/if they come. If you want some companionship, date for an extended time that way you can abort if she shows signs of your ex.

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        #4
        No helpful advice but enjoy what you have accomplished. Live a little

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          #5
          Seek God and ask him to reveal what’s going on with you. Continue to take care of your children but you must take care of yourself. The times we’re living in dictate that we’re spiritually, mentally, and physically fit.
          “ Ask and it will be given, seek and you’ll find, knock and the door will be opened”.

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            #6
            I'm 54, divorced for 2.5 years, finalized about a week before the plandemic began. Kids are grown. With everything shut down about then, there was literally nothing to do. Went fishing some when the weather cooperated. Went motorcycle riding with friends but again, just riding due to restaurants/bars being shut down. I work 12 hour shifts so that means I was just sitting at home by myself for 3-4 days a week. No one to talk to, hang out with except my grown kids and grandkids, which was great). But that lead to some serious depression and soul searching for myself. What's funny is that one of my daughters called about 2 months in to the plandemic and asked if we (family) wanted to come over and have dinner/hang out as her and her husband were getting tired of seeing only each other. I laughed and said, "try and sit in a house by yourself everyday with no one at all to talk to"..... She paused, apologized and almost started crying because she hadn't thought about that. Since then we started getting together more often, which has been great. Also, I started looking at on-line dating sites and decided to take a chance. Met some interesting women, but I did find one that has been terrific. Took me a while to really get comfortable with being treated with dignity and respect, and appreciates the thing I do for her. Been dating over a year now and honestly couldn't be happier. We are in a good place and stay busy with friends and family.

            Bottom line, take some time to find yourself (as cliche as that sounds). Take one day at a time and learn what makes you happy. When the time is right, you'll figure out the how, what, when, where's of life and persue that, whatever that entails.

            Best of luck, it can be a long, rough road.

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              #7
              Do a search for boblee threads. He has some great ideas!

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                #8
                Originally posted by CabezaBlanca View Post
                Do a search for boblee threads. He has some great ideas!
                TBH Legend

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                  #9
                  I definitely need to learn to live a little. Slow down and enjoy things. I have been working on that for a while. Those here that know me, know that I am.....intense, for lack of a better word. Very driven and serious. This makes it hard for me to relax. There is always something that needs to be fixed, so its hard to relax when there is stuff that needs to be done. This has made me marginally successful financially, but has cost me dearly personally. But I am working on it.

                  This way of life or personality, not sure which it is, is hard to change, especially when it is no longer necessary.

                  As far as boblee, I remember those threads well, but I just cant bring myself to do that. Heck, I have never even had a one night stand.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Some good advice above
                    Even though your son will move out one day he’s still going to need guidance, advice as faces life & its challenges
                    I get what you are saying on the day to day without him around but motivation of continuing to be a role model for him and for him to know you will always be there to advise & support him
                    Other that Smart & Hogmauler spot on advice

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                      #11
                      You only get so many revolutions around the sun. Picture yourself on your death bed and try to come up with a list of regrets you might have. Then go about erasing those regrets and working on a bucket list while you can.

                      Semper Fi

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                        #12
                        I can only hope I stay single and no kids until death do me part. There are way too many women on earth just to settle on one. That's stupid.

                        What do you do after you're done raising your kid? Ummm.....Let me see......how about have an awesome life and do whatever you want to do?
                        Last edited by okrattler; 08-07-2022, 08:55 AM.

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                          #13
                          Have any interest in fitness? I have a hard time relaxing and sitting still. Always on to the next thing. I picked up and interest in triathlon last year at 40. I’ve found that two hours of cardio a day will wipe away a lot of stress, help you clear your mind and relax. I had trouble sleeping before but not now. If you have the time it’s worth the effort.

                          There is nothing appealing to me about getting to my older years and sitting in a recliner in front of a tv wasting away. F that.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Chew View Post
                            You only get so many revolutions around the sun. Picture yourself on your death bed and try to come up with a list of regrets you might have. Then go about erasing those regrets and working on a bucket list while you can.

                            Semper Fi
                            Wow, great advice! I'll try that myself.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Chew View Post
                              You only get so many revolutions around the sun. Picture yourself on your death bed and try to come up with a list of regrets you might have. Then go about erasing those regrets and working on a bucket list while you can.

                              Semper Fi
                              This? Op!

                              I was there for a short timeframe.

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