I’ve known my wife since she was a barefoot kid about 8 years old. Been married 40 years this November. I have been, and still am, truly blessed!
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Years ago, I used to have many people trying to fix me up, or set me up on dates. I really did not want to get married, unless, she met all of my specifications. I kept finding that such a woman was very rare, extremely rare. So I really had no plans on getting married, dealt with too many women, that were a whole lot of PIA. I was very quick to dump the majority of them. I would not tolerate female drama.
One of my buddy's wife, kept trying to set me up with every female she knew of that was not married. I dodged most of them. One night a some other friends and I went out, a buddy has his girlfriend with him, she was petite, shy country girl. She was good looking, but taken and that turned out to be a wild night, some other woman came up to be and wanted to have a wild night, things got rowdy, that night.
Months later, my buddy's wife tried to set me up with another of her friends, turns out it was the girlfriend of my buddy, who had gone out with us that night. Turns out they had broken up, he is a bone head, he is known for doing dumb stuff. Including dumping her. Well as much as I liked her, I did not want to go out on a date with her, since she had been dating a friend of mine and because my buddy's wife had been such a pain in the rear, trying to set me up all the time. I tried to dodge everyone she tried to set me up with, or at least most of them. So of them were hard to pass on, she had some good looking friends. But I passed on the idea of going out with my buddy's ex girlfriend.
Then a few months later, I went to a local bar, as I was walking in, I looked over and there was my buddy's ex girlfriend/woman my other buddy's wife was trying to set me up with, that I refused to go out with. We walked in the door together and started talking and spent that evening talking and then started dating afterwards. I think we were together for a couple of years before I asked her to marry me.
We got married, things were good and bad, like all marriages for quite a few years. She had a lot of hang ups from her previous marriages, that took a while for her to get past. Then her friends putting stupid ideas in her head. So we had problems for a while.
She used to be very quiet and shy, there was so much to her that had been hidden for a long time. It took me a while, but I got her to gain confidence in herself and stand up for herself and speak up. Turns out she graduated at the top of her class in high school, she is very smart, but so much of her was hidden away, because of what her life had become after she graduated. She got into two very bad marriages. Since I have gotten her to have confidence in herself, she has gone from being near the bottom of the company where she works, to a job high up in the company. Then when our daughter was about to graduate high school, and trying to pick a college. My wife, was the one who worked on getting our daughter the financial aid, and scholarships. After getting everything set up for our daughter to go to college. She decided to try and see if she could get in and get the financial aid for herself to go to college. She did it. So they both started college at the same time, our daughter went to Tech, my wife found a school in San Antonio, that had on line classes, she aced her first two years, graduated on the presidents list. This while having a full time job. She has since gone on to UTSA, and is about to graduate again on the Presidents list, maybe the deans list this time. I want to say I saw where she got on the presidents list again.
She is amazing I call her Super Woman, or Beautiful, all the time. She was a beautiful sweet woman when I met her, that's pretty much what I knew and understood. But since, she has really opened up and become someone who people go to all the time to help solve all the problems they can not on their own. She has other students, in the classes she is taking contacting her all the time, wanting help with their assignments. Then at work, she is known for her ability to figure out new problems and come up with a solution for those problems. She loves all the recognition she gets from her co workers, supervisors, that she gets after fixing some problem that nobody else could solve. She works for a school district, she also helps parents with all types of problems, many times, are not something she is supposed to be helping parents or anyone, figure out or fix, but she does.
Since she has worked her way up to where she is now, she has much more confidence in herself, she is much happier, we hardly ever have disagreements, we still do, but not like years ago. Years ago, I really wanted to get a divorce, I did not care for the accusations and the fighting. My life was much simpler before I got married. The way my life was, worked fine for me, low BS, it was great. But I had a desire to find a woman, that I could get along with and be with the same woman for years, instead of a few days at a time. But figured that would never happen. But it has, she is a very amazing person, I really love her. I never thought I would be where I am, as far as a relationship.
The one thing, I keep trying to get her to do, is go hunting with me. I have tried to tell her, I am not asking her to shoot anything. Truly I have no intensions of trying to get her to shoot anything. I just want her to go and see the things I see, when I go hunting. I know she would enjoy the trips, I have taken. She thinks I am going to try and pressure her into shooting a deer or turkey, mainly turkeys, are what she wants no part of shooting. I truly don't plan on even trying to put a gun in her hands, much less try to get her to shoot anything other than maybe a paper target.
She loves going to places like Big Bend, and hiking out there, then our trip to Oregon, where she grew up, we hiked and fished up there. Then our trip to Yellowstone, she loved. She likes the outdoors, I know she would love to see the things I have seen, on my many hunting trips. That I am going to work on, slowly.
I waited and found the perfect woman, or as close as they come to perfect, I just wish I could have found her years earlier, before she ever got married the first time. So she would not have gone through all the crap she went through, in her first two marriages. Her father is the one to blame for why her life went the direction it did, after she got out of high school. I am not a fan of him at all. She could have gotten a lot farther in life, had her father been a much better father.
Had we met years earlier, we would both would have gotten a lot farther in life than we have, at this point. But that's life, it's never perfect, you just have to make the best of it.
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how long you known your wife
Walked my wife down the aisle at my best friends wedding 10 years ago, she was his new wife's sister-in-law who didn't like me at the time Fast forward a couple years and his BIL decided he wanted nothing to do with her, their 3 YO, and 3 week old They had just bought a house together and he left her cold turkey with the baby. Again fast forward about 7 months and my wife at the time decides to leave and move back into her parents. We went through a smooth divorce, ended up costing me a lot of money, but I told her dad I asked to marry her I will continue to help as long as needed. Probably the few men to talk to their future wife's dad before matrimony, and then talk to him to let him know I was sorry it didn't workout. Anyway, I was working late one night and my best friend’s wife texted me to let me know April was single and that I should text her. In my wit and wisdom I texted her "Ice breaker!" She had no idea who it came from. Then my best friend and his wife asked me over for dinner and guess who was there, April and her two boys. Neither of us knew their scheme. We have now been married since 11/05/15 and have added one more boy to the fam. It's been interesting the last few years. Congrats to Tiger and all others above!
Last edited by UncleBubba; 04-20-2021, 10:59 AM.
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Wow! A lot of great stories here and a LOT of institutional knowledge in this group.
Given the length of time you’ve been married, I’m curious to know what each of you would say is the secret to your success, because, without exception, each of you appears to have found immense happiness in your relationships.
So, how about it? What is the one bit of advice you would share with someone considering the institution of holy matrimony?
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