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Old 09-03-2021, 09:34 PM   #1
glen
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Default Scared of heights? Any cure

My wife is scared of heights. Often when driving she puts a blanket on her head. She has gotten alot better. Getting her this close was tough today. The bad part is if I get close to edge if freaks her out. Anyone tried been hypothesized or anything else with success. She enjoys the mountains and hiking but some trails are a no-go.
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Old 09-03-2021, 09:52 PM   #2
thegrouse
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Is that Half Dome? If that was too sketchy do not try Angel's Landing. I have not found a good way to deal with it other than focus/
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Old 09-03-2021, 09:54 PM   #3
Bucknaked
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Do y’all have to drive everywhere? Some people just can’t get past it!
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Old 09-03-2021, 09:56 PM   #4
SamHarper
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I think heights are a legitimate thing to fear. I'm afraid of heights, and I feel like this fear has kept me safe. My brother was just the opposite of me when we were kids, and he did some very risky things. The fact that he's still alive is just luck.

But if you're determined to get over a fear, especially if it's an irrational fear, there's this book that was recommended to me by a PhD student in psychology at UT Austin you might want to check out. It's called _Face Your Fears_, and it's by David Tolin. The techniques in this book really do work.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:00 PM   #5
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Quote:
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Anyone tried been hypothesized or anything else with success.
This is awesome.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:03 PM   #6
glen
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Thanks Sam. She doesnt want to walk on cliffs just be able to sit and enjoy ride when in mountains. That is El Captain behind us. She did make it up Sentinel Dome which is where picture was taken. We did continue around to Taft Point and she locked up.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:04 PM   #7
Fargus
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This is awesome.
Goodness, yes it is.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:05 PM   #8
glen
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No Chew - its bad. I get 5 feet away from an edge and she starts threatening. She goes condition black. Getting tired of getting kicked. Will try anything once this trip is over.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:08 PM   #9
okrattler
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I'm scared to death of heights. Used to roof houses and didn't like it one bit. Had to control the fear so I could get paid but I had nightmares about falling all the time. Some fears you just can't get over. I don't really think it's the fear of heights that gets me. It's the fear of falling. The steeper the roof I'd be moving around like a robot. I could get up there I just couldn't get close to the edge. Put me on a steep roof and take me to the edge and try and make me look at the ground. That could get a person hurt. I've been on the verge of tears and literally felt like I was going to have a panic attack while roofing a house. How I ever got through that is beyond me.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:09 PM   #10
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No Chew - its bad. I get 5 feet away from an edge and she starts threatening. She goes condition black. Getting tired of getting kicked. Will try anything once this trip is over.
I was talking about your autocorrect. I have several relatives that are afraid of heights. It appears very random with no root cause.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:10 PM   #11
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Not really afraid of heights. Well I do get peculiar feelings in certain places.
What I fear are the things that can happen in high places.
Standing on a rock formation a freak wind may blow you off.
May get a sudden vertigo.

On man made stuff....well, I was in Maintenance for ~30 years and I see how people "maintenance" things.

I used to work in the Mobil Building in Dallas. They had a wing that was added later. for AC.
You could see humongous bolts where it bolted to the original building.
At the top was a terrazzo landing, 29 floors up. I would go out and look around, but I always thought of that thing just "falling off".
We had a stack at my last employee, No way. I aint trusting no mechanical rig. Half the bolts were loose.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:16 PM   #12
glen
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I just looked too and glad she doesnt come around. Ill take a picture of my passenger tomorrow and let yall get a laugh. Its looks like a little kid playing ghost
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:17 PM   #13
rtp
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My wife is the same. It has only gotten worse as she has gotten older. She will literally move to the center of the vehicle if the "cliff side" of the mountain is on her side when Im driving. And no way is she walking anywhere near the edge of a cliff.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:47 PM   #14
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Thats a freakin awesome picture!

I don't have a clue on what could help her. I've missed a bunch of hunts from being skeered about some shaky stands!
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:51 PM   #15
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Maybe emdr therapy?
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:52 PM   #16
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No Chew - its bad. I get 5 feet away from an edge and she starts threatening. She goes condition black. Getting tired of getting kicked. Will try anything once this trip is over.
Condition black? Wow I like that never heard of that but I can relate. No help on the height mind trick. Iím too much like her.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:52 PM   #17
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.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:57 PM   #18
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Best way is to attack that fear head on. When I was a drill Sergeant we had recruits that were terrified of heights and they had to repel down a 40' wall. The easiest way we showed them that nothing would happen to them was I would put a swiss seat on and start to repel down the wall. Once I was about 5' down I would just let go of my rope and free fall a few feet and let my belay partner catch me. sure they freaked out when they got to the top of the wall and began to repel down but it was the coaching that helped them begin the repel. I would start buy hiking up a smaller mountain and try to get her to the top above the tree line. Coach her on the way up and take it a short distance at a time. The reward will be the view up top.
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Old 09-03-2021, 10:59 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okrattler View Post
I'm scared to death of heights. Used to roof houses and didn't like it one bit. Had to control the fear so I could get paid but I had nightmares about falling all the time. Some fears you just can't get over. I don't really think it's the fear of heights that gets me. It's the fear of falling. The steeper the roof I'd be moving around like a robot. I could get up there I just couldn't get close to the edge. Put me on a steep roof and take me to the edge and try and make me look at the ground. That could get a person hurt. I've been on the verge of tears and literally felt like I was going to have a panic attack while roofing a house. How I ever got through that is beyond me.

I am sacred to death of heights also. Once you have to do something for a living that involves heights after a couple or weeks or so of doing it


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Old 09-03-2021, 11:01 PM   #20
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I have a very healthy respect (fear) of heights, and I was an Airborne Ranger. Gravity ALWAYS wins...always.
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Old 09-03-2021, 11:04 PM   #21
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Worked with a man in our maintenance department for a little over a year. Anytime we had to go up in the scissor lift, he would take it to the ceiling and start dancing and jumping around. He would hang off the side or stand on the top rail to work on things. Heights still aren't my favorite thing, but those experiences seemed to help. Still get a little nervous the first couple sits in the tree stand at the beginning of season, but it goes away the more I sit.
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Old 09-03-2021, 11:13 PM   #22
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Wondering if there’s an indoor climbing facility in your area she could go to and train. I don’t know if those places are as popular or not. Not exactly sure how that would be categorized. Perhaps there would be a benefit to her watching other women online facing their fear of heights in videos? That’s all I’ve got for now.
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Old 09-03-2021, 11:19 PM   #23
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Take her sky diving & then bungee jumping...cliff walking will be easy afterwards.
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Old 09-03-2021, 11:51 PM   #24
Dale Moser
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Default Scared of heights? Any cure

Irrational fears like that have always cracked me up. I have never been afraid of heights, but rather enjoyed them. I used to install fireplaces, and therefore, chimney caps. I did some things on steep roofs over the years that would give my mother a heart attack. I fell off 3 roofs, one 2 story, and I rode a small chimney off of a single story. The framer that built it and nailed it to the roof decking, wound up worse than I did. That stuff always seemed different to me than cliffs, tall bridges, etc.

Those latter things were always mind over matter to me, ie a million people have done this, and been fine. Always figured if a cliff or bridge was gonna collapse while I was on it, it was just my time. I went bungee jumping when I was 12. Tried to skydive once at 18, but the weather was jacked.

Other stuff like climbing trees, or being on high steep roofs, I just knew I knew what I was doing. And more importantly, I knew what I was gonna do if I slipped and had to go off. It always worked.

Mind over matter, heights canít hurt you if you donít do anything stupid.

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Old 09-04-2021, 12:17 AM   #25
okrattler
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Fear is an odd thing. Picking up a venomous snake is no big deal for me but heights are. Funny how that works.

I've come to the conclusion that a major part of it is being in control of a situation. When I'm on a steep roof or a shaky ladder or scaffolding I don't feel like I'm in control of that situation at all. It's an uneasy feeling. I've actually fallen off of a 20 foot scaffolding before. Didn't break anything luckily.

When I was roofing I literally had to just do it and not think about it. That's easier said than done but if I thought about it my heart rate would go up and I would go into a state of panic. The time I locked up on a roof I had to sit down and calm myself down. I had an anxiety attack. Which wasn't the best place to have one of those believe it or not. I think roofing day after day just stressed me out so bad I couldn't control it. That roof wasn't even that bad looking back on it I just had a freak out for a minute or five. I'm a pretty level headed person and I can't believe I got to that point but I did. I couldn't control my emotions. That freaked me out big time.

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Old 09-04-2021, 12:22 AM   #26
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[QUOTE=Black Ice;15794200]I am sacred to death of heights also. Once you have to do something for a living that involves heights after a couple or weeks or so of doing it


Sorry I got side tracked and didnít finish my post.

I am sacred to death of heights also. Once you have to do something for a living that involves heights after a couple or weeks or so of doing it you get used to it.

First time I went offshore and had to ride the personnel basket I freaked out. I then freaked out having to walk over open grating and for sure thought I would fall through.

After a couple of weeks I didnít even grip the net on the personnel basket and slid down the stairs instead of walking.

I still donít like climbing a tree or sitting in a ladder stand unless itís a two man with rails because I donít do it very often. Back when I lived in North Carolina and did it multiple times a week it became easy. Now that only get off the ground 3 or 4 times a year it freaks me out.

I canít even climb on my roof now but could get lifted 80 Foot in the air holding onto some ropes.


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Old 09-04-2021, 12:36 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glen View Post
My wife is scared of heights. Often when driving she puts a blanket on her head. She has gotten alot better. Getting her this close was tough today. The bad part is if I get close to edge if freaks her out. Anyone tried been hypothesized or anything else with success. She enjoys the mountains and hiking but some trails are a no-go.
Is that like being hypnotized Sorry bud, couldn't resist.

Val looks to be handling it just fine.
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Old 09-04-2021, 12:41 AM   #28
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Exposure, exposure, exposure, exposureÖ.

The trick is to SLOWLY increase the personís exposure and comfort. If you try to push straight to tall heights, they will shut down completely.


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Old 09-04-2021, 12:45 AM   #29
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I remember when I was a kid some older kids that lived next door to my grandma and grandpa would come over to "babysit" us younger kids when nobody was around. My grandma had a balcony at the top of the stairs in her house and since I was the smallest they'd grab me and hang me over the edge by my ankles. That's where I developed that fear I believe. I also believe I learned how to fight better than the other kids early on. I'd like to see them try to do that to me now.LOL

Same for the fear I had of water for the longest time after I almost drown in Foss Lake. My mom got a swimming pool later in life so I got better about that one.

I do agree the more you're around something that you're afraid of the less afraid you'll be. But having the mindset that you don't want to be afraid anymore is something you have to decide for yourself. If you put her in uncomfortable situations where she's terrified you'll probably just scare her even worse.

I'm trying to put myself in her shoes. See how close she'll go to the edge of something tall. If she's at all freaked out don't grab her arm or nothin. Don't even touch her cause she's liable to freak out and throw you off of it.

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Old 09-04-2021, 02:13 AM   #30
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Post up if you try it and it works.
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Old 09-04-2021, 05:11 AM   #31
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I used to be afraid of heights. About 20 years ago my driller made me go up in the Derrick to run pipe in the hole cause our regular Derrick hand got hurt. No wasn’t an option back then. Took about 30 stands but I got over it, and a Derrick job.
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Old 09-04-2021, 07:36 AM   #32
RiverRat1
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Quote:
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No Chew - its bad. I get 5 feet away from an edge and she starts threatening. She goes condition black. Getting tired of getting kicked. Will try anything once this trip is over.
My wife freaked out several times on the road to Denali. Don't take her there yet!
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Old 09-04-2021, 07:46 AM   #33
Philip-TX
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You can always try alcohol.
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Old 09-04-2021, 07:54 AM   #34
Mauler
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My wife and kid both have a few things they will just freak out about.

Our post freak out discussion may are usually around these core things

It’s okay to be afraid of stuff as long as you don’t let it stop you from doing things. You just have to understand what there is to be afraid of and the preventative measures we take to avoid those things

And if you are afraid the worst thing you can do is freak out and panic about it because then you will really get someone hurt by being panicked and irrational

Worked thru a few things with both. And my wife used to sit-up and worry about me all night when I had to travel or when we were moving because we’ve moved several times over the last few years. We just talk thru is and try to address.
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Old 09-04-2021, 10:00 AM   #35
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No hope here, but I understand what you are going thru.

My wife freaked going up Pikes Peak. She kept telling at me to slow down. I was going 15mph. When we got to the top she was light headed, trouble breathing, etc. Come to find out it happens enough for there to be a staffed medical office at the top. She finally calmed down and was enjoying the shop at the top (still not outside) when they came over the PA and announced the mountain was closed due to high winds and we had to leave immediately. I could see the fear hit her. It's a real thing. I was so glad to get her off the mountain.

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Old 09-04-2021, 10:09 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rtp View Post
My wife is the same. It has only gotten worse as she has gotten older. She will literally move to the center of the vehicle if the "cliff side" of the mountain is on her side when Im driving. And no way is she walking anywhere near the edge of a cliff.

Jennifer spent our drive across Independence Pass in Colorado with her head on the center console, eyes shut, crying. It was a 30 min drive to Vail. On the way back to Leadville, I had to take the long way of 3hrs rather than taking the pass again. Well, I could have taken the pass, but Iíd Have been alone.

There is no cure. Iíve tried everything for my wife and it just ends with her crying and threatening to kill me.


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Old 09-04-2021, 10:48 AM   #37
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I guess Iím the one in my family thatís about half scared of heights. Hell, my wife wants to jump out of an airplane ! She wants to ride a zip line and has never let anything like that bother her. I donít want anything to do with parachutes and zip lines, and have had to talk her out of both. We both love the mountains but Iíll admit to eyeballing that little cable on wooden posts that was supposed to keep you from tumbling down several hundred feet of very steep terrain. It wouldnít have stopped a bicycle, much less a 6,000 lb. truck.
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Old 09-04-2021, 10:52 AM   #38
Johnny Dangerr
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I do not drive the monster "fly overs any more" .............................
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Old 09-04-2021, 10:56 AM   #39
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It's not the fall, it's the sudden stop.
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Old 09-04-2021, 12:17 PM   #40
BarW
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Some folks are kinda scared of the unknown, that can be over come.true fear of heights no cure.

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