Ever considered premarital counseling?

[CabezaBlanca]

It’s for other reasons. So that we’re both better prepared.

I took your OP all wrong. Good for y'all for wanting to start off on the right path.

[tex4k]

Before I got married I had all kinds of counseling, dads, uncles and such. But I was young and dumb and didn't listen. Sure makes for some life experience but we've made 41 yrs.

[Jack]

If it’s to be better prepared then do it. You are going to be doing lots of things you don’t want to do once your married. Pick your battles

[robie]

It's a great program that most church's offer and it gets you a discount on your marriage license if it is a certified program by the state.

For most couples that communicate you won't get much out of it. What I learned is that there are a lot of people getting married that shouldn't. The older couple we did the class with told us they have a lot of couples come in that have never had a conversation about the following: Do you want kids, Who will pay the bills, What is our monthly budget, Retirement, Sex, Religion, Political Opinions, Boundaries with In-laws.

Scared the crap out of me that people are going to get married and have never talked about if the other person wants kids.

Go into it with an open mind and see what you can learn to help build your marriage. If you think you have nothing to learn you're delusional.

[Graysonhogs]

I don't think it is necessary. But then, what do I know, my wife and I have only been married 48 years.

That would be akin the the guy who never gains weight saying the gym's a waste of time. Everybody is different.

[Encinal]

We were required to do it by the church.

I don't like lying.

I made an exception.

[Worksalot]

It's a great program that most church's offer and it gets you a discount on your marriage license if it is a certified program by the state.

For most couples that communicate you won't get much out of it. What I learned is that there are a lot of people getting married that shouldn't. The older couple we did the class with told us they have a lot of couples come in that have never had a conversation about the following: Do you want kids, Who will pay the bills, What is our monthly budget, Retirement, Sex, Religion, Political Opinions, Boundaries with In-laws.

Scared the crap out of me that people are going to get married and have never talked about if the other person wants kids.

Go into it with an open mind and see what you can learn to help build your marriage. If you think you have nothing to learn you're delusional.

We talked about marriage and kids in the very beginning. Said yes and yes to both those questions as did she. Some subjects are uncomfortable but we talk about them anyways.

[TxDispatcher]

I couldn't disagree more with the comments about how it's unnecessary.

It's one of the best things you can do if you want to have a successful and happy lifelong marriage. Also, make sure it isn't the last thing you and your spouse (after you're married) do together to learn how to do life together better. Take more classes. Read more books. Get involved in more marital enrichment offerings at church, etc....

It doesn't matter who you are or who you pick as a mate. Marriage takes effort. It requires work to grow into the person you need to be to fulfill your part of the relationship. When both of you put in the work, it works out great. If at least one of you won't, then the wheels are eventually gonna fall off. Guaranteed.

And I'll add this.... It's been my experience, both with myself and with others, that if you're opposed to doing this kind of stuff it's a big sign that you really need it. I know I was definitely very uncomfortable with the idea at first, because I was afraid to have to admit I had areas that needed improvement. I didn't want to have to give in on some things I was being selfish about. Everybody else I've ever known that fought against any kind of counseling or class was doing so for pretty much the same reasons. We all, especially men, want to hang on to selfishness and are afraid of being honest about ourselves. It's hard to step up and be honest about yourself and to let go of whatever version of selfishness you have going on in order to put your wife's best interests ahead of your own selfish interests. But that's what God calls husbands to do. He tells us to love our wives like Christ loved the church. (Hint: Jesus willingly gave up his life for the church.) Being that kind of husband ain't for sissies.

Spot on, Shane...as usual

If you are doing it because you and your fiance are having issues, you need to eject now. If you are doing it for other reasons, go for it.

It’s for other reasons. So that we’re both better prepared.

Smart man keep that attitude about your relationship, and you'll do fine IMO

It's a great program that most church's offer and it gets you a discount on your marriage license if it is a certified program by the state.

For most couples that communicate you won't get much out of it. What I learned is that there are a lot of people getting married that shouldn't. The older couple we did the class with told us they have a lot of couples come in that have never had a conversation about the following: Do you want kids, Who will pay the bills, What is our monthly budget, Retirement, Sex, Religion, Political Opinions, Boundaries with In-laws.

Scared the crap out of me that people are going to get married and have never talked about if the other person wants kids.

Go into it with an open mind and see what you can learn to help build your marriage. If you think you have nothing to learn you're delusional.

All valid and extremely important things to know. I agree, it's terrifying how many couples have no idea what the other one is thinking/desiring in life

[Tx_Wader]

Methodist Minister required it and I'm glad that we did it.

We'll be married 35 years this coming Monday.

Go for it.

[BrianL]

My marriage tip:

Remember what is said, can never be unsaid. Think about what your are about to say before opening your mouth.

[WyoBull]

Our church requires marriage preparation classes/counseling, whatever you would prefer to call it. I 100% support it. Marriage is tough enough, why not do something on the front end that may help your marriage last and prosper?

[robie]

We talked about marriage and kids in the very beginning. Said yes and yes to both those questions as did she. Some subjects are uncomfortable but we talk about them anyways.

The fact you are actually asking about it means you give a ****, which puts you at a head start. I've heard stories about engaged couples just so "in love" and never bothered to talk about how life is going to work. Have the difficult conversations, learn how to talk about a fight after it happened. Learn how each other communicates. Learn "love languages", as silly as that sounded to me it helped us. I'm an actions person so my wife learned that when i do something for her it is because I love her and in tern she will get up early and make me breakfast before a big hunt or prepare for a out of state trip. She is a words person so I attempt to tell her why I love her, doesn't always go so well but it lets her know I'm making an effort. If your fiance is a words person just be prepared saying I love you doesn't count.


Also had a friends in couples counseling before they were married, that one didn't last 6 months.

[grizzman]

Some churches require it.

Our Pastor did. Took a test and he said "are you sure you want to get married" or something similar. We did and still together after 25 years.

[Antlers86]

Look up Family Life A Weekend To Remember. We went after being married 2 years and again at 5 yrs. Married for 9 yrs and actually just want to go again because it's fun. Both times we attended there were quite a few pre married couples. May look expensive but most of the time they will throw you in a group deal and get 50% off. Locations all throughout the US. We went to Frisco, Tx and Jackson, Ms locations.

Highly recommend and nothing wrong with premarital counseling!

[texas shag]

my pastor required it before marrying us. Of course the sessions were thru him, but it was a great thing for us. We took some tests that told us about our personality traits, and due to the differences developed some processes to work thru tough situations that resulted from our personality clashes.

While we always knew we wouldn't see eye to eye on everything, the counseling helped us learn to work thru those time more effectively, which has strengthened our marriage. I would recommend it for sure, and most churches provide it.