Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sexual abuse question

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #76
    Praying for wisdom for you.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

    Comment


      #77
      I think I would tell them. It may help them understand some of his issues. Wish he'd learned how to deal with some of them while he was alive and had the chance. I'm sure his family would have understood and been by his side.

      Comment


        #78
        I believe he told you because he assumed he would die and he wanted his family to know but he couldn't tell them himself for reasons stated before. You're in a tough spot but someone needs to know.
        Down side to this has already been stated before as well, the impact on others, if it has happened to them and what bringing it to the light may bring them.
        I would rather go to my grave knowing I tried to help bring closure to the family or bad deeds done to light than keeping it to yourself when his relatives or kids could be struggling inner demons too.
        I'm sure it is heavy on your mind and heart but if something were to happen to one of the kids or siblings and you said nothing, it would be much worse.

        Comment


          #79
          Certainly no expert here but I’ve been in a similar situation, kinda. After my dad passed away, he was a good dad btw, a guy messaged me on Facebook I think it was. He said he had some news now that dad was gone but he had to talk to his sister and his nephew first. That left a lot of doubt what was coming. Mind you, I had no idea who this guy was or how he found me. Sure enough, he said dad had been with his sister and they had a child together. He said he had called dad about it before and dad told him he didn’t want anyone here to know and he wanted nothing to do with the situation.

          This guy called after he knew dad was gone and he knew dad didn’t want us to know but he stepped in the middle of it anyway. In our situation, it only tarnished our dad and didn’t give him the opportunity to defend himself or give his side of the story. We didn’t pursue the situation and let it be.

          This situation might have the opposite effect. It may answer questions they’ve had for years. It really could go either way.

          Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

          Comment


            #80
            Originally posted by rolylane6 View Post
            Be very careful how you approach this. There could be "things" in the closet you haven't considered. Im not trying to tarnish your friend in any way whatsoever but many times those who are abused, grow up and abuse. Again I'm not suggesting your friend did but there's always that possibility too. Please don't take this in a way its not intended. I'm only thinking of the relationships you have with his ex and children. I have nieces who were abused by their step-dad and he was abused by his father. Noone ever expected it from him. Nicest guy you'd ever meet and seemed like the "perfect dad". Just something to consider.

            Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk
            Just to be clear, I'm NOT saying DON'T tell the family and certainly not trying to start rumors about your friend. I'm just suggesting you really think this through and approach with great care. Pray, pray, pray. I'll add you to my prayers as well. Tough place to be brother. I feel terrible for you and hope and pray this turns out well for all involved. God will lead you if you have faith!

            Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk

            Comment


              #81
              Tell them. It might help to bring them peace.

              Comment


                #82
                Thanks again brothers.

                Comment


                  #83
                  Keep your mouth shut. Let the story die with you. The man is dead and can not defend himself. Sorry it is Fdup for the people involved. We don't get the right circumstances, but it is up to each one of us to over come them. Leave it alone and just love everyone.

                  Comment


                    #84
                    Having been sexually abused myself and having other family that has as well it can be extremely helpful to have that insight into others lives. Too often we bury our pain for years... I hid mine with **** and humor... like many guys. Thankfully I have been honest with a lot of people and have moved forward. His kids sound like they have come to terms with some of his issues and could handle the honest truth. Sorry for your loss.

                    Comment


                      #85
                      I can’t imagine the things that some of y’all have shared. And to think of living with that a lifetime is just plain sad. I’m glad it’s over for him but bummed that he struggled for so long.

                      Comment


                        #86
                        Originally posted by BlackoutRam2500 View Post
                        God Bless you Hogmauler. You're in a tough spot but as others have said it's a secret that never should have been. As a father I would want to know. As a son I would want to know. As a husband I would want to know. I cannot think of a single instance where I wouldn't want to know why the person I loved so much was in so much emotional turmoil and pain.



                        Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk
                        Man, this truth.

                        Comment


                          #87
                          I’m feeling y’all. Spoke with Bro Bill and he prayed for Godly wisdom for me. Gonna contact them next week. I’m still leaning towards notifying the son because I’m concerned that the wife wouldn’t tell him. He was the one the Tim was the hardest on anyway. So I’m thinking he’s my priority and he can destroy te the information as he see fit. All three of them have my number so the other two my end up calling me any way. Send an arrow prayer up for me if you have a mind to and thanks again for all the input. Happy Thanksgiving my brothers.

                          Comment


                            #88
                            Originally posted by Hogmauler View Post
                            I’m feeling y’all. Spoke with Bro Bill and he prayed for Godly wisdom for me. Gonna contact them next week. I’m still leaning towards notifying the son because I’m concerned that the wife wouldn’t tell him. He was the one the Tim was the hardest on anyway. So I’m thinking he’s my priority and he can destroy te the information as he see fit. All three of them have my number so the other two my end up calling me any way. Send an arrow prayer up for me if you have a mind to and thanks again for all the input. Happy Thanksgiving my brothers.
                            The way I'm reading it, the son is the oldest. Honestly, I think you're right in telling him, maybe the wife if your family has a good relationship with her, but definitely the son. Make it clear to him that if he wants, you can talk to the rest of the family, but you saw how it hurt him and wanted him to know. Being the oldest, while I've never quite had to handle this exact situation, sometimes it's best as the eldest sibling to handle information the right way, especially if a parent isnt the best at it. Just my thoughts. I think you'll make the right decision, will pray for ya.

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X