Old guy sayings

[rtp]

Pull my finger


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[BBReezen]

We’ll be done faster than you can say a rat run over the roof of the house with a piece of raw liver in his mouth.

[HighwayHunter]

“You ain’t worth a wooden f*!)ing nickel!” Definitely my favorite


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[Czechfish]

Ain’t got a pot to pizz in or a window to throw it out
Hotter than a two peckered billy goat
She’d make sap rise in an old stump
That’ll Make a pizz ant carry a bale of cotton
Put some hair around it
Stouter than 4 foot up a bulls azz
That’s what she said when I let her up
Make your sticker peck out
That’ll Put lead in your pencil
Like socks on a rooster
Got an Azz like a government mule
How’s your momma and them
Couldn’t pull a greasy string out of a bucket lard
You still on that first one(when putting bolts back on a part)

Many many more that I’m quite certain can’t be listed....

[AD88]

I'm usin' this one....Greatness!

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[emoji23]


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[AD88]

While Coaching 7th grade Fb many years ago
An old coach who respect very much would say:

That boy couldn’t stick a stiff d&$@ in a bucket of lard

Y’all make me want to lay down a pee straight up

Another from a very dear coaching friend of mine from West Texas who has passed on
Speaking of romance with his wife after a night of drinking
Boy it’s like Playing pool with a rope , you gonna stick it or stuff it !


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[jonate98]

Your so lucky son you could reach in a barrel full of a••holes and pull out a pu••y


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[Mister Sir]

Dad had a few as I happen to remember and will post as I remember:
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me .....than have a frontal Labotomy!
They say the memory is the second thing to go.....I can’t remember the first...
I’ll get the landing net so I can knock the fish off for you.
That one will make your sticker peck out, I mean your p@@ker stick out.

[Hogmauler]

Doesn’t have sense enough to pour pizz out of a boot.
Closed up tighter than a bulls butt in the fly time.
Colder than a well diggers arse.
Went to shat and the hogs ate him.
I’ll stomp a mud hole in your arse.

[Goldeneagle]

Dad talking about a new car he bought - "This thing ain't got the power to pull a greased string out of a chickens ***!"

[boleman154]

I was changing an alternator one time and my dad told “you look like a monkey jacking his **** with boxing gloves on”.


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[Barrett]

See a beautiful woman and say "she would make a freight train take a dirt road"

[Calitexembalmer]

To early to know, to late to care.

[hoghunter69]

early is on time
on time is late
late is unacceptable

[Jmh05]

Buck used to say..."Bet if there was some hair around that hole, you'd hit it" and "you can marry a rich girl just as soon as a poor girl"...if you were ever late...he'd say "you been out pickle dipping?"