Estranged relatives

[Hogmauler]

Folks I hadn’t seen or spoken to my sister since 2013. We had parted ways before that for the way she had treated my mom and dad. I had forgiven her for that, and God had turned my anger at her and her children to pity. I reached out to her a couple of times but nothing changed.
Fast forward to this past Monday. I went by our CPA,s office to retrieve our sons taxes. The cpa asked me if I’d spoken to my sister lately. We both have used the same lady for decades. I told her no She informed me that my sister had died from cancer in March of this year. And her husband had died last year.
I was floored, shocked, and saddened to say the least. All I could think of was my niece and nephew losing both their parents in as many years. I had figured that my sister would live as long as our mom did, 89 years, be a grandmother etc,etc. but it didn’t happen.
Im still trying to sort all this out but wanted to encourage y’all to at least make an effort to reconnect with family, if possible. Had I not tried to reconcile this would have been a lot harder on me. We not guaranteed today folks, let alone tomorrow.

[Mertzon Man]

Sorry for your loss.

[skulleton]

Sorry for your loss sir.

[McPatrickClan]

Thank you for sharing this. You are so right. People are what matter, especially family. I'm sorry for your loss. God bless you... may He give you wisdom and the peace that passes understanding in the days to come.

[Hogmauler]

Thanks fellas. That’s what I need right now. Wisdom and peace and understanding.

[Jon Stewart]

Hang in there. You did good by making that attempt to re-connect. I think every family has the same situation to some degree. I haven't seen either of my sisters in 3 years. The last time was at my wife's funeral.

Will say a prayer for family unity tonight at mass.

[sandbill]

Sure sorry for your loss, sir. Important message.

[rvd]

Your heart changed when you went from anger to pity, I unfortunately know that feeling with family. Very frustrating but we cannot control others, even when we love them. Sorry for your loss but take comfort knowing that you tried and that she chose to stay away. In my prayers.

[dosrobles]

I am in a similar situation. My sister and her family have cut ties. I’m not sad about it, just disappointed that she would willingly upset our 85 year old parents. It’s unfortunate but I can’t figure out a way to solve it. Anything I say gets twisted into them being victimized somehow. I am semi sure the next time I see her will be at my folks funeral.

[stickman]

Gotta be tough for the children. Prayers up

[Hogmauler]

I am in a similar situation. My sister and her family have cut ties. I’m not sad about it, just disappointed that she would willingly upset our 85 year old parents. It’s unfortunate but I can’t figure out a way to solve it. Anything I say gets twisted into them being victimized somehow. I am semi sure the next time I see her will be at my folks funeral.

Bingo! Mike drop. Prayers for all of y’all dealing with estrangements. And again, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Let me clear this up as well folks. I’m not an Angel. I don’t tolerate b s very well.
My mom was recovering from open heart surgery when my sister and her two kids went over to their home and verbally abused her to the point that she got her walker and went to her room. I asked my dear dad about it and he confirmed it happened. I asked him why he didn’t stop it(which I regretted right after I asked it) and he said “I just didn’t have it in me son to try and stop them”. Meaning my dad was 85 or 86 at the time and was my moms primary care giver the last eight years of his life. Had I been there I would have drug them out, one by one, by the scruff of the neck.

[Pedernal]

I am in a similar situation as well. I have very limited contact with my sister. It’s mainly on me at this point as she did some very wrong things and while I have “forgiven” her I just don’t like being around her. I keep telling myself that I have forgiven her but have not forgotten.

I am probably wrong here and have started to try to change my feelings towards her. I am reading the Bible and trying to become a better Christian which is helping. It’s been a hard thing but I feel I will make progress by improving who I am.

May the Good Lord bless you and your family. Don’t give up on re-establishing communications with your nieces and nephews.

[Hogmauler]

Perd if she’s willing to have a relationship again go for it. Unfortunately my niece and nephew have drank the cool aid as well. No one notified me of either death. I can understand that. Had I passed my wife wouldn’t have notified them either.
I’m sad because I know they both suffered with cancer and I wasn’t there.

[CentralTXHunter]

I am in a similar situation as well. I have very limited contact with my sister. It’s mainly on me at this point as she did some very wrong things and while I have “forgiven” her I just don’t like being around her. I keep telling myself that I have forgiven her but have not forgotten.

I am probably wrong here and have started to try to change my feelings towards her. I am reading the Bible and trying to become a better Christian which is helping. It’s been a hard thing but I feel I will make progress by improving who I am.

May the Good Lord bless you and your family. Don’t give up on re-establishing communications with your nieces and nephews.

First off to the OP, I’m terribly sorry to hear about your sister and her husband. I feel for the kids dealing with the loss of their parents back to back like that.

Perdernal this may help your situation. We just did a series on forgiveness and reconciliation at our church. One thing our pastor said is there are two avenues. Forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness takes one person. Reconciliation takes two. Christ calls us to forgive those that sin against us. Forgiveness is a decision of the will. You’ve made that step. However, He doesn’t call us to forget. “The prudent see danger and seek refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” Proverbs 22:3. Reconciliation requires your forgiveness, but it also requires their repentance. If they are not truly repentant of the slights they’ve caused towards you and your family, there can be no reconciliation. You cannot bend their will so all you can do is your half of the reconciliation and maybe they’ll do theirs one day.


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[Walker]

I thank God that my family is close and always have been.