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Old 05-10-2021, 08:44 PM   #1
justletmein
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Default Wife needs a carry gun

She got drunk with my sister and they signed up for a Sheepdog Response women's only class. She's not a newbie to handgun shooting but doesn't like any of my guns so figured I'd start looking for a birthday present (that she'll shoot and approve before I buy). She's going to be shooting quite a bit so I'm thinking we stick with 9mm for cost of ammo and familiarity.

Some details off the top of my head:

She's decided it'll primarily be carried in a CC purse with special sleeve so it doesn't have to be super compact but a full sized won't quite fit in the pocket. In addition it seems like this would rule out anything with a hammer or gaudy safety switches and such. She'll be buying an ultra-compact gun later for jogging and such. I didn't realize it but her normal purse is a CC purse so this is kind of a requirement since she already owns it.

She has trouble racking the slide on most of my guns, she can do it but it's not easy. I think she just needs muscle memory and more practice because she regularly deadlifts 225lbs for reps with no grip help or straps or gloves so her grip ain't weak but she wants something easier to work with so thought I'd throw it out.

She absolutely hated a 38spl revolver we had long ago and doesn't seem to be interested in revolvers at all. It's a shame because I think a small hammerless revolver is perfect for carry, probably wouldn't be great for her class though. The one we had was really snappy and not fun to shoot and she hated the super long DAO trigger pull.

She doesn't like DAO triggers (Glock, Springfield, etc). She can probably get over this especially if I have some trigger work done. She doesn't like the long pull or the extra weight. This also could be due to grip size on much of the handguns she's shot.

After all that I told her just carry pepper spray lol but she needs something to practice with before this class and to use for the class. I have my preferences and bias so of course I'm pushing her towards all the stuff I like so I'm thinking I should reach out here and look to see some other recommendations that I haven't considered due to personal preference/bias.

The class isn't til September so we're gonna have fun with it and she'll be shooting and trying quite a few trying to decide what she likes, what should I should add to the list?
Glock 19
M&P Shield
Taurus 709 Slim
Ruger SR9
Walther CCP
Glock 43X

Bonus question, for the class she specifically needs a retention holster, material preference is kydex. They specifically ruled out Blackhawk Serpa for some reason which is all I've used as far as retention holsters go and I really like mine, all my other stuff is all IWB holsters so not sure where to go here.
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Old 05-10-2021, 08:49 PM   #2
Blane
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I would go with a 43X and then buy the 42 as her jogger. I have a 43 as a boot gun/backup that I wear on a daily basis. My wife has shot it, and was ok with it but I wanted her to try the 43X. Maybe I was wanting her to settle for the 43, and I would carry the 43X. The other day we were in College Station and she handled both the 43X and the 42 and loved how the 42 felt in hand. I bought it for mothers day and we shot it today. Lights out with it.
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Old 05-10-2021, 08:50 PM   #3
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The Sig P238 & P938 are great pistols. I also like my less expensive Taurus G2C.


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Old 05-10-2021, 08:55 PM   #4
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Your right, the small revolvers are perfect carry guns for women in their purses.

Im not a fan of glock for people who don’t practice regularly, especially if she is just going to throw it in her purse.
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Old 05-10-2021, 08:56 PM   #5
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The gerber steadfast would be better than pepper spray if she can lift 225 you can beat someone head in with the bottom end.

https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Steadf.../dp/B001EC4V7Q

This would be best for close work

https://www.harborfreight.com/8-inch...7535d6bd0818ee

Last edited by Johnny44; 05-10-2021 at 09:10 PM.
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Old 05-10-2021, 09:00 PM   #6
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My dad bought a S&W Shield 9mm EZ for my niece for college graduation. She had shot pistols, but had trouble racking the slides. The EZ has been a great CC weapon for her.


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Old 05-10-2021, 09:02 PM   #7
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Sig P365 with safety if you can find one.
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Old 05-10-2021, 09:08 PM   #8
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Default Wife needs a carry gun

Sig p365 trigger is good and slide is relatively easy to work.
Oh and accurate

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Old 05-10-2021, 09:29 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bboswell View Post
Sig P365 with safety if you can find one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadfall65 View Post
Sig p365 trigger is good and slide is relatively easy to work.
Oh and accurate

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This^. I have a 365xl and my wife has a Glock 43. She much preferred shooting my 365xl over her 43.


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Old 05-10-2021, 09:33 PM   #10
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Lots of places don't allow the serpa due to the booger hook being so close to the bang switch.

Mine carries a 43 but also likes a 228. MY vote is 43x,48 or 365



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Old 05-10-2021, 09:35 PM   #11
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Sig p365X or P365XL, both are 12 + 1 and you can add a red dot to either
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Old 05-10-2021, 09:36 PM   #12
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Dammit I absolutely hate the way that Sig looks lol, but like I said I have my biases and that's why I needed yall. It's clear that needs to be added to the list.
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Old 05-10-2021, 09:48 PM   #13
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I’ll put this out there for perspective. My wife doesn’t like shooting my XD or XDS, both 9mm. She always said they were too snappy and she doesn’t like the recoil. We were recently comparing those to her dad’s Sig 365 and I think I found her problem. The grip on the Sig was not as deep and she didn’t have to reach for the trigger. When she gripped the XDS, she had to roll her strong hand way forward to reach the trigger, which caused her to have a really poor grip overall. Comparing the two guns side by side didn’t seem like much of a size difference, but it was definitely enough to have an effect. So if she hasn’t already, try to have her put her hands on a bunch of different models, and that may narrow down some of your choices.
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Old 05-10-2021, 09:59 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blane View Post
I would go with a 43X and then buy the 42 as her jogger. I have a 43 as a boot gun/backup that I wear on a daily basis. My wife has shot it, and was ok with it but I wanted her to try the 43X. Maybe I was wanting her to settle for the 43, and I would carry the 43X. The other day we were in College Station and she handled both the 43X and the 42 and loved how the 42 felt in hand. I bought it for mothers day and we shot it today. Lights out with it.

This the 43x has enough size to not be real snappy but still slim. The 42 is nice too.


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Old 05-10-2021, 09:59 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justletmein View Post
Dammit I absolutely hate the way that Sig looks lol, but like I said I have my biases and that's why I needed yall. It's clear that needs to be added to the list.


There are 3 in this house and looking for a fourth, 3 of those replaced M&P Shield EZís that grouped minute of basketball @ 10 yards. The Sig shoots where you point it!

Looking for a 4th to replace wifeís Sig P238 because she likes the way the 365 shoots and I like her having 12 rounds of 9mm over 7 rounds of 380.
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Old 05-10-2021, 10:02 PM   #16
justletmein
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Minute of basketball lmao

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rswan13 View Post
Iíll put this out there for perspective. My wife doesnít like shooting my XD or XDS, both 9mm. She always said they were too snappy and she doesnít like the recoil. We were recently comparing those to her dadís Sig 365 and I think I found her problem. The grip on the Sig was not as deep and she didnít have to reach for the trigger. When she gripped the XDS, she had to roll her strong hand way forward to reach the trigger, which caused her to have a really poor grip overall. Comparing the two guns side by side didnít seem like much of a size difference, but it was definitely enough to have an effect. So if she hasnít already, try to have her put her hands on a bunch of different models, and that may narrow down some of your choices.
I think this absolutely contributes to the problem of her not liking the triggers.

Glocks 43x and 42 definitely made the list and a few of the Sig's.
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Old 05-10-2021, 10:17 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rswan13 View Post
Iíll put this out there for perspective. My wife doesnít like shooting my XD or XDS, both 9mm. She always said they were too snappy and she doesnít like the recoil. We were recently comparing those to her dadís Sig 365 and I think I found her problem. The grip on the Sig was not as deep and she didnít have to reach for the trigger. When she gripped the XDS, she had to roll her strong hand way forward to reach the trigger, which caused her to have a really poor grip overall. Comparing the two guns side by side didnít seem like much of a size difference, but it was definitely enough to have an effect. So if she hasnít already, try to have her put her hands on a bunch of different models, and that may narrow down some of your choices.


This is YUGE!
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Old 05-10-2021, 10:21 PM   #18
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My wife is petite and like your wife, seems to have trouble with the slide on most of my pistols. The M&P Shield is what she picked out. She loves it and shoots it very well.
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Old 05-10-2021, 10:44 PM   #19
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A Luger p08 would be cool
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Old 05-10-2021, 10:57 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaker_cc View Post
Sig p365X or P365XL, both are 12 + 1 and you can add a red dot to either
This...

The Glock 43x and 48 with shield mags are good options as well, but I carry my 365XL over my 48 about 90% of the time.

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Old 05-10-2021, 11:19 PM   #21
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Iím a huge Sig P365 fan but if sheís shy of these ďsnappyĒ micros see if you can find a Walther CCP 9mm for her to fondle. A little larger pistol with incredible ergonomics. Not huge capacity at 8+1 and itís heavier...thus less recoil. Itís actually advertised as a ďSOFTCOILĒ, with a gas-delayed blowback system that directs the pressure from the fired round through a small port in the barrel in front of the chamber to slow down and delay the rearward motion of the slide.
My daughter carries a Walther PK380 but will probably move to the CCP with a little more clout at some point. Great triggers, well balanced with just awesome ergonomics all the way around IMO.
Iíd highly recommend at least adding it to the list to check out.

Edit: sorry I see now itís actually already on your short list!!!

Last edited by RascalArms; 05-10-2021 at 11:23 PM.
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Old 05-11-2021, 12:02 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RascalArms View Post
Edit: sorry I see now itís actually already on your short list!!!
No problem there, the feedback on list items is also appreciated.
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Old 05-11-2021, 12:45 AM   #23
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My wife and I carry the Taurus PT111 G2, the one before they came out with the G2C. they are great guns, 12+1. Her sister picked out the 709 as you also have listed on your list. It is an ok gun for a single stack 7+1. I would stick with the PT111 and not the 709 in my opinion. I don't carry the +1, but have 12 rounds at my disposal vs the 7 or 8 in the 709.
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Old 05-11-2021, 02:04 AM   #24
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Any thoughts on a good "retention holster" for the class doing drills and such?
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Old 05-11-2021, 02:39 AM   #25
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By the end of my career I carried MP9 on duty and off duty MP9c (compact) and MP Shield, but....

I have shot them all, carried Glocks and SW on duty, shot xDís, HK VP9 and others and taught firearms at the a academy for 30 years.... getting to try almost every popular gun on the market. Then bought (after I tried it out) a Sig P320, not the micro P365. In my opinion, it has the best out of the box trigger of any striker fired pistol. It comes in all kinds of sizes and colors and a one pin disassemble and you can swap the guts for another frame. I got the full size X-Carry and for $185 I can change it to a compact in about 30 seconds.

I wasnít about to change over all of my holsters and gear that late in the game but seriously considered it.
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Old 05-11-2021, 04:56 AM   #26
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Next time you make it down this way, give me a heads up.

I could let her shoot the wife’s G42 (380), Taurus G2C (9mm), or a Glock 23 with a 19 barrel.
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Old 05-11-2021, 05:30 AM   #27
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My wife had a Shield in 9mm and was fine with it until she shot the 365. She loves it. She stole it from me and so I had to go use my stimulus money on a 365xl for myself. In my opinion, the 147gr HP 9mm aren’t as snappy and sound really good through a hearing protection muzzle device. We both use Raven Concealment trigger guard holsters. Very easy to draw but you have to take the holster off to reholster, not ideal for a class
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Old 05-11-2021, 05:48 AM   #28
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365 XL. I’ve played with some but don’t own one yet. It will probably be the next purchase. My wife carries the G43 or P938 for EDC. I like the G19. My wife shoots my G19 the best. Remember the weight with ammo loaded. If it’s too heave she will never carry it.
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Old 05-11-2021, 06:01 AM   #29
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i am such a BIG fan of the 43X, its a super smooth shooter
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Old 05-11-2021, 06:02 AM   #30
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Take her on a birthday date to a gun range that rents guns...let HER find one she likes...if she doesn't like the recoil or fit...she won't shoot it and may end up not carrying it
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Old 05-11-2021, 07:35 AM   #31
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Another vote for the Glock 43 and 42
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Old 05-11-2021, 07:48 AM   #32
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Another vote for the Sig's, my girlfriend has the 365xl for the purpose of the extra barrel length to control the muzzle rise, and i carry the 365. Great shooting pistols and the capacity is well worth it.
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Old 05-11-2021, 08:04 AM   #33
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I'll just reiterate what a few others have stated. Take your time on this and get as many firearms in her hands as possible. I like revolvers for women or young inexperienced shooters but you say although she's not a newbie, she's not a fan of wheel guns but also doesn't feel real comfortable racking slides. To me, your short list is a great start. I'm still leaning heavy on the Walther CCP for her current situation...but bottom line, she needs to shoot what fits her.
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Old 05-11-2021, 08:26 AM   #34
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As already stated, find the the one she likes but.......the P320 and the 43X are dang nice pistols. The P320 has the best out of the box trigger I have run across on a striker fired gun.
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Old 05-11-2021, 08:45 AM   #35
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Take her down to the gun shop & have her fondle a S&W 442 or 642...they feel good in the hand & another vote for the hammerless wheel. If she still isn't happy, then pick up the other models considered & see which one she gravitates to.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:42 AM   #36
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Your wife does not sound like a typical woman, but still a woman, probably still has small hands. I would think a smaller gun would be a better choice.

I got my wife a PK380, she likes it a lot, it was suggested to me by a buddy, who got one for his wife, after many people suggested that gun for females. My wife does have trouble with guns, she did not grow up around guns, has only shot a few different guns, since we have been married. She prefers her PK380 over everything else, rifle, pistol and shotgun I have gotten her to shoot. She does very well with the gun.

So some time a while back, our daughter said she wants a handgun, but it has to be blue. So I searched the world over, read a lot, then concluded that a PK380 would be a good choice for her, more so, since her mother already has one. I did a lot of looking and found one blue PK380 for sale. I bought it, had it shipped and got it a week later. Then I needed ammo, turns out, we had a lot less 380 ammo than I realized. I had bought a large box of bulk 380 ammo years ago, and thought it was near full, turns out it was near empty, only about 30 rounds left in the box. We shot those up, along with some of her defense ammo.

So they both needed 380 ammo. I paid way too much for 380 dies, but then found bullets for a good price, powder, then finally primers and cases. So I finally got some 380 ammo loaded. So the plan for today, is to get my daughter out today and get her to shoot her pistol. The bullets I got are some Sierra/SIG 90 gr. hollow points. I got 1000 of them, then a 1200 primers. The load I have come up with is 4.5 gr. of Autocomp behind that 90 gr. bullet. It's supposed to push that bullet out the barrel at 1015 fps. I am hopefully going to shoot some through the chronograph later today.

The PK380, seems to be designed for females, the magazine springs are light, easy for women to load them, my wife has no problem loading the mags. Same with the recoil spring for the slide, it's also light, she has no problem with racking the slide. The trigger is pretty nice, can be shot double action or single action. Does not have a slide release, once you put a loaded mag in it, just pull the slide back and release it. It does have a manual safety on the rear of the slide, that is ambidextrous, external hammer. Then it has a place under the front of the frame for a light or laser, they make a laser for that gun. I got a laser for my wife's gun. It helped her learn to shoot the gun, showed her what she was doing when pulling the trigger. I don't think it's practical for self defense, you most likely won't have time to turn it on or remember to turn it on. So for the most part, probably a waste of time for defense purposes. But good for teaching the shooter what they are doing wrong, when actually trying to hit the target.


I have shot my wife's pistol many times, I am pretty good with the gun, for a compact gun, it's pretty accurate. Kind of a fun gun to shoot, just a bit expensive to shoot right now. For my wife and daughter, it think it's probably the perfect gun for them. I would prefer a 9mm for me, in a little large gun, but something very similar, but really the PK380 would work for me also.

I always carry a CZ75 copy in 10mm,a EEA Witness, best 10mm I have ever owned. I have thought about getting a smaller gun, something more practical, but at the same time, something chambered for a all around good purpose round. I keep coming up with 9mm. I have seriously been thinking of looking for a nice 9mm as a carry gun, something smaller than what I have. I know there are a lot of choices in 9mm, I just have not looked, I have a list of hunting guns I want, those are what I look for all the time. But truly, the PK380, would be a great little gun for me to carry, it's not a 9mm, but most self defense situations, there should be enough rounds in the mag, to put an end to most any problem. I am hoping those loads I have worked up, you would only need one to get the job done 99% of the time.


If your wife does not like revolvers, I would look at single stack, 9mm and 380s. I know Sig makes some single stack 9mms or they used to, and I am sure there are other companies that make single stack 9mms. The single stack would be a better choice for a female, the grip diameter should be smaller. So it should be easier for a female to get her hands around and work a safety, decocker or slide release. For a female, I would probably stay away from double stack autos, and 1911s, both typically have grips that take a decent sized hand to grip properly.

One last idea on the subject, back to the PK380, Walter makes a PK22, it's identical to the PK380, I have found them for sale at Academy for $300. I plan on buying a couple of them one for my wife and one for my daughter. So they can practice more, without having to worry about finding 380 ammo.
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:48 AM   #37
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Bersa Thunder 380 with Buffalo Bore ammo. Accurate and reliable. Very concealable especially in a purse and doesn't weigh a ton. Easy on the shooter's hands. https://bersa.eagleimportsinc.com/be...thunder-series
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Old 05-11-2021, 09:53 AM   #38
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For a little more power https://www.theshootingstore.com/sin...81741&ref=shop
Great safety features SA/DA and decocker.
It is bigger and heavier but not that much. Fits a small hand very good.
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Old 05-11-2021, 10:21 AM   #39
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my wife really likes her P238 that used to be mine until she shot it. I now have a 365xl that I hope she doesnt shoot or I'll loose it too

Last edited by huntmaster; 05-11-2021 at 10:24 AM.
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Old 05-11-2021, 10:44 AM   #40
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How about a brand new GLOCK 26?
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Old 05-11-2021, 11:08 AM   #41
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Location: Katy, Tx
Hunt In: Lee, Bee, Nueces, Uvalde
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HK VP9SK. Phenomenal trigger, easy to shoot, and the sides and back of the grips can be customized to fit. Great option for a purse carry.
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Old 05-11-2021, 06:19 PM   #42
WyoBull
Ten Point
 
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Wyoming
Hunt In: Wyoming
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I initially bought my wife a Glock 43 and the more she shot it the more she did not like it because of the shorter grip. She has bigger hands so I ended up getting her a 43x and that little bit longer grip made all the difference in the world for her comfort in shooting it. At the same time we bought the 43x I also bought here a CC purse and she really likes that as she is not one to conceal carry on her body. Before she settled on the 43x she handled several others for quite some time in the gun store and that is the one she was ultimately drawn to.

I took over her 43 for myself and really like it a lot.
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Old 05-11-2021, 07:01 PM   #43
bullets13
Ten Point
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Fannett
Hunt In: Marion Co, Jefferson Co
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paigers01 View Post
The Sig P238 & P938 are great pistols. I also like my less expensive Taurus G2C.


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This. My wife carries my p238. Smoothest action of any pistol I’ve ever owned. It’s a .380 though. I have a p938, which is 9mm, but everything is a lot tighter on it. Both are easily concealed, and they’re pretty, which your wife will like. Both have a safety, which is good for throwing it in her purse. My wife carries her (my) p238 in a purse with the gun pocket in it.

Last edited by bullets13; 05-11-2021 at 07:04 PM.
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Old 05-12-2021, 10:01 AM   #44
xman59
Pope & Young
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
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most women do like the size and grip of the sig p365, but most like the s&w ez slides for the ability to rack the slide as most lack the strength for the slide on many pistols...

take her to a gun store let her pick up and get the feel of as many guns as possible,,, then pick a caliber to match the pistol that she likes, since most are offered in multiple caliber choices,,,,, men tend to always push their wives towards guns they like,, not what is best for them,,, I saw this almost daily when I worked in a gun store several years back,,,,

if she does not like it and it does not feel right to her she will not carry it!!!!!!!!

so what good does it do her or anyone if it's to big, to heavy, too hard to work the slide, or too much recoil ? A .22 with well placed shots is better than big bullets with lots of noise or a gun she can not handle under stress
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Old 05-12-2021, 10:02 AM   #45
Sinkey
Eight Point
 
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Frisco and Lake Fork
Hunt In: Back 40 - Como, TX.
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I carry both a SIG P365 and a Glock 43. I actually like my GLock better the SIG, but my wife likes neither. lol.

I ended up getting her the Shield 380 EZ and she loves it. Fit her perfect and she shoots it well.
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