What's the craziest thing you've seen on the side of the road?

[riverbowman]

Saw a redneck hauling deer feeders and a UTV with a giant sign on his tailgate that said "I LOVE G*Y P*RN!".

That dude was me... A buddy decided to put a big magnetic sign on my tailgate as a joke. I drove on the highway for 4 hours with that thing on there and even stopped and ate at Braum's. Never knew it was on there until I got home and my 10 year old asked me what the sign on my truck meant. I'd have been ticked if it weren't so funny.

[LWC]

Saw a dead dude covered in a sheet on hwy 75 in Plano where he jumped off the George Bush Bridge.

[Montec man]

Was riding down a county road with my Grandfather when I was a kid and we found a body that had been dumped. It didn't rattle me as much as it did my Grandfather, and to this day I remember the look on his face as we went to a gas station just down the road to call the authorities. He ended up going to testify in one of the trials of Henry Lee Lucas.

[curtintex]

Many years ago, when I was around 20 years old, I moved to Houston, completely clueless to all that exists in Houston. This was around 1989 or 1990, when I moved there. I was very naive, Houston was a learning experience almost daily, after growing up in south Texas.

I had a lot of crazy incidents, I was lucky to make it out of there a live. I survived, but since then a few people have tried to talk me into going back. My answer is always, NOPE! NOT ME!.

I got a job working at a shop on the north east side, off of Lee Rd. There we worked on everything, we worked on cars, pickups, big rigs, fire trucks, old hot rods, dozers, loaders, boats. Between the owner and the shop manager, those two knew about everyone in the area and outside of Houston to the north and east. You never knew what we were going to work on from one day to the next. The shop also rented U-Hauls.

So one day the boss comes into the shop and yells, I need every to get in my truck, we are going to pick up some U-Haul trucks. Ok, so off we go. It was the shop owner, shop manager, one other mechanic, a black guy from Georgia, then me. The youngest, who did not have a clue as to the area where we were going.

So we get to some U-Haul place I think just east of down town Houston, I really don't know where we were. On the way to the place, I realize every business has bars on the windows and razor wire on top of the fences. Looked like prisons, everywhere. Where I grew up, you never saw bars on windows or razor wire, only barbed wire fences.
The boss starts tossing keys to everyone, says find your truck, I will see you back at the shop. I start trying to find the truck, I have keys to. I find the truck and discover it's a medium duty truck, International, probably the same size as a Ford F700 or so. I was not sure if I needed a CDL to drive that truck. So I went to ask, someone if I needed a CDL to drive it. Everybody was gone, nowhere in sight. From the time Jackie tosses us keys, till I discovered it was a medium duty truck, was maybe 2 minutes. Everyone else was long gone. I was not sure how to get back to 59 north.

I took off east down the road the U-Haul place was on, drove a ways looking for a road that might take me back north to 59. I finally just made a left turn, never saw anything that looked like it would take me back to 59. So I am driving along, maybe 30 mph, down some street, going through an area that had apartments that lined both sides of the street, for a long ways. I thought this is odd, that's a lot of apartments.

Then as I am driving along, I start hearing yelling, can't figure out who is yelling or what they are yelling. Then as I drive father, I realize there are people coming out of the apartments, they are all black, I had noticed a few black people outside the apartments a short distance back, did not think anything of it. The farther I drove up this street, the more black people came out of these apartments. Then I realized a lot of these people were yelling. I slowed down, I think I pushed the clutch in, so the engine would go to idle, so I could hear better.
I quickly figured out they were yelling, "Kill the honkey!", and something else, don't remember what the other thing was they were yelling. I got to hear "kill the honkey" enough times, I did not forget those words. As I was realizing what they were yelling, I also realized that the number of people who were pouring out of the apartments, had greatly increased. The yards outside the apartments, were pretty much standing room only, then I realized up ahead, there was a wall of people from the apartments on one side of the road to the other, that was a good 20 yards deep. So I stopped, at that point. The "Kill the honkey" chant, I could hear very clear at that point. So I looked in the mirror, thinking I am just going to back up out of here, I obviously made a wrong turn. When I looked behind me, they had blocked the road behind me. About that time they started moving towards the truck. It very quickly obvious, I had made a very wrong turn.
I thought this deal is about to get very bad, very quickly.

So I revved the engine, I put the pedal to the floor, being an old 7.3 IDI, it would only rev to maybe 2500 rpms. I dumped the clutch and left the throttle on the floor in 1st, trying to make as much noise as possible. They were not bailing out of the road, so I put it in 2nd, with the throttle on the floor. They stayed in the road. I was about to put it in 3rd, but decided, that might be a bad idea, if they don't bail out of the road. That high of a gear, if I have to run over 50 people or however many, might bog the truck and slow it down. Then I would be extremely screwed. So I left the truck in 2nd gear, pedal on the floor and went. At the last possible moment, they bailed out of the way. It was like parting the red sea, but I was parting the black sea.

I was afraid, I might be going slow enough, that some of them might jump on the side steps of the truck as I went by, but none of them did. Some of them were obviously had thoughts of trying it. I kept the pedal planted, as I got through them, I shifted up to 3rd, and kept going.

I was sure I was going to die and wind up on the 6:00 news that night. I eventually found a road, that got me back to 59 north, took off north, got to the shop. When I got there, I started ripping into people about taking off and leaving me. They acted like they had no idea what the big deal was, but at the same time, they had big grins on their faces. When I told them what happened, they realized it was not so funny. I got informed those were not apartments.

I had multiple incidents in Houston, where I had to figure things out very quickly. That was probably about the worst thing I had happen to me, or almost happen to me. I had too many crazy thing happen, that could have killed me, so I got out of Houston quickly. It would take many large stacks of 100 bills, to get me to ever move back to Houston for so much as month.

I believe the part where you said the Uhaul had a clutch. That's about it.

You could change up a few words of this story and it would be the battle for Mogadishu in Black Hawk Down.

Black Hawk Down was true.

[Mayhem]

Many years ago, when I was around 20 years old, I moved to Houston, completely clueless to all that exists in Houston. This was around 1989 or 1990, when I moved there. I was very naive, Houston was a learning experience almost daily, after growing up in south Texas.

I had a lot of crazy incidents, I was lucky to make it out of there a live. I survived, but since then a few people have tried to talk me into going back. My answer is always, NOPE! NOT ME!.

I got a job working at a shop on the north east side, off of Lee Rd. There we worked on everything, we worked on cars, pickups, big rigs, fire trucks, old hot rods, dozers, loaders, boats. Between the owner and the shop manager, those two knew about everyone in the area and outside of Houston to the north and east. You never knew what we were going to work on from one day to the next. The shop also rented U-Hauls.

So one day the boss comes into the shop and yells, I need every to get in my truck, we are going to pick up some U-Haul trucks. Ok, so off we go. It was the shop owner, shop manager, one other mechanic, a black guy from Georgia, then me. The youngest, who did not have a clue as to the area where we were going.

So we get to some U-Haul place I think just east of down town Houston, I really don't know where we were. On the way to the place, I realize every business has bars on the windows and razor wire on top of the fences. Looked like prisons, everywhere. Where I grew up, you never saw bars on windows or razor wire, only barbed wire fences.
The boss starts tossing keys to everyone, says find your truck, I will see you back at the shop. I start trying to find the truck, I have keys to. I find the truck and discover it's a medium duty truck, International, probably the same size as a Ford F700 or so. I was not sure if I needed a CDL to drive that truck. So I went to ask, someone if I needed a CDL to drive it. Everybody was gone, nowhere in sight. From the time Jackie tosses us keys, till I discovered it was a medium duty truck, was maybe 2 minutes. Everyone else was long gone. I was not sure how to get back to 59 north.

I took off east down the road the U-Haul place was on, drove a ways looking for a road that might take me back north to 59. I finally just made a left turn, never saw anything that looked like it would take me back to 59. So I am driving along, maybe 30 mph, down some street, going through an area that had apartments that lined both sides of the street, for a long ways. I thought this is odd, that's a lot of apartments.

Then as I am driving along, I start hearing yelling, can't figure out who is yelling or what they are yelling. Then as I drive father, I realize there are people coming out of the apartments, they are all black, I had noticed a few black people outside the apartments a short distance back, did not think anything of it. The farther I drove up this street, the more black people came out of these apartments. Then I realized a lot of these people were yelling. I slowed down, I think I pushed the clutch in, so the engine would go to idle, so I could hear better.
I quickly figured out they were yelling, "Kill the honkey!", and something else, don't remember what the other thing was they were yelling. I got to hear "kill the honkey" enough times, I did not forget those words. As I was realizing what they were yelling, I also realized that the number of people who were pouring out of the apartments, had greatly increased. The yards outside the apartments, were pretty much standing room only, then I realized up ahead, there was a wall of people from the apartments on one side of the road to the other, that was a good 20 yards deep. So I stopped, at that point. The "Kill the honkey" chant, I could hear very clear at that point. So I looked in the mirror, thinking I am just going to back up out of here, I obviously made a wrong turn. When I looked behind me, they had blocked the road behind me. About that time they started moving towards the truck. It very quickly obvious, I had made a very wrong turn.
I thought this deal is about to get very bad, very quickly.

So I revved the engine, I put the pedal to the floor, being an old 7.3 IDI, it would only rev to maybe 2500 rpms. I dumped the clutch and left the throttle on the floor in 1st, trying to make as much noise as possible. They were not bailing out of the road, so I put it in 2nd, with the throttle on the floor. They stayed in the road. I was about to put it in 3rd, but decided, that might be a bad idea, if they don't bail out of the road. That high of a gear, if I have to run over 50 people or however many, might bog the truck and slow it down. Then I would be extremely screwed. So I left the truck in 2nd gear, pedal on the floor and went. At the last possible moment, they bailed out of the way. It was like parting the red sea, but I was parting the black sea.

I was afraid, I might be going slow enough, that some of them might jump on the side steps of the truck as I went by, but none of them did. Some of them were obviously had thoughts of trying it. I kept the pedal planted, as I got through them, I shifted up to 3rd, and kept going.

I was sure I was going to die and wind up on the 6:00 news that night. I eventually found a road, that got me back to 59 north, took off north, got to the shop. When I got there, I started ripping into people about taking off and leaving me. They acted like they had no idea what the big deal was, but at the same time, they had big grins on their faces. When I told them what happened, they realized it was not so funny. I got informed those were not apartments.

I had multiple incidents in Houston, where I had to figure things out very quickly. That was probably about the worst thing I had happen to me, or almost happen to me. I had too many crazy thing happen, that could have killed me, so I got out of Houston quickly. It would take many large stacks of 100 bills, to get me to ever move back to Houston for so much as month.

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[Quackerbox]

Even as an evening shift patrolman in the busiest district and shift in the ENTIRE county I didn't see what that dude saw. And we went to the hood on purpose!

Dead people is like seeing a squirrel cross the rd now days

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[jdg13]

We had "the shadow boxer" on westheimer. Big ol black dude that had obvious issues. He'd roam the sidewalk every day. Most times he appeared to be winning the round as he'd throw hooks, jabs, and uppercuts into thin air. One day he was obviously getting his azz whooped as he was recoiling from the "punches" the shadow hit him with.

[Mexico]

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You must have had an extra 4.5 hours on your hand ....

[talltexasshoote]

We were going to the lease about 5 am one morning for a work day. There were 4 of us in a king cab truck pulling a trailer loaded with building materials and a side by side. We came over a hill and ran smack into a sounder of pigs. It was a big one probably 5-6 sows and a whole bunch of bacon seeds. The guy who was driving did his best just holding it on the road. We pulled over and two of the piglets were still screaming, dying in the front seat of the mule. There were still sever others in various stages of death lying on the highway. We decided we better clear them off before a smaller car hit one and seriously damaged it. We shot lots of pigs at that time and that year they all had ticks. One of the guys had made us all ropes that were about 4 foot long the a handle on one end and a loop at the other. You could put the handle through the loop and cinch it down on a pigs leg to drag it off. I grabbed one of these from the back of the mule and started dragging pigs off the highway. I looped a good sized sow, approximately 150 pounds, by the back leg and headed off. A few feet later she came fully alive. I had her cinched good just above the joint of the leg and the loop was tight. She was squeaking I was running and trying to get the rope loose. Three other guys were dying laughing at my head lamp going every direction it’s occasional yells from me and squeals from her. I finally came to my senses and let go of the rope. When we came back that evening we spotted her about 300 yards down in The bar ditch dead as a stone. We pulled over and I went and got the rope off her. The other guys called me pig roper most of that season. I’m glad that didn’t stick.

[deep n the heat]

I saw a 15' tower "moose" blind in the ditch in Alaska. It is a east Texas road hunters paradise in Alaska.

[miket]

We had "the shadow boxer" on westheimer. Big ol black dude that had obvious issues. He'd roam the sidewalk every day. Most times he appeared to be winning the round as he'd throw hooks, jabs, and uppercuts into thin air. One day he was obviously getting his azz whooped as he was recoiling from the "punches" the shadow hit him with.

You win some, you lose some

[CEO]

Two stories from the same subdivision [emoji28]
25 years ago a Buddy of mine just turned 16 and was headed to school after receiving his DL license from the DMV. He decided to take the scenic route and drive through a large subdivision (BarX) that’s known for having a ton of whitetail. Back then the majority of the 1 acre lots were not developed yet so you could see for miles. He was rounding a corner in his little Ford Ranger when he noticed something up ahead in the ditch. He eased up quietly hoping not to disturb it so he could get a better look and see what it was. As he’s closing in on the figure he noticed it was making a slight up and down movement about mid torso. My buddy eases up to within 15-20’ of object and about that time he makes eye contact a man…humping the ground. The man hid his face and my buddy sped off so he wasn’t sure if he was working over a crawdad hole or what.

10 years ago, we built a house in the same subdivision. One evening we loaded up the kids and went for a ride to look at the deer. We weren’t 1/4 mile into the trip when I spotted a buck naked guy casually walking down the road. One of my neighbors had already called the cops and was following him around in his truck so we ran and informed a state trooper that lived in the subdivision. Turns out that the guy was reported missing by his father, drove his motorcycle till it ran out of gas on the highway then proceeded to walk across the subdivision, swam through the creek and shedded his clothes. He didn’t appear to be high on anything and I’m pretty sure he just wanted to spend the night in jail versus feeding the mosquitoes all night. He had previous arrests for indecent exposure


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The two stories together are hilarious. Can't imagine what you told the wife:

"Babe, why do you want to live in this subdivision so bad?"

"Well Honey, I once saw a nude man thrusting a mud hole on the way to school. Felt like the right place to raise a family"

[Killer]

The two stories together are hilarious. Can't imagine what you told the wife:

"Babe, why do you want to live in this subdivision so bad?"

"Well Honey, I once saw a nude man thrusting a mud hole on the way to school. Felt like the right place to raise a family"

Reading this made my Friday a little better!!

[txheartshot]

I was building a new 6 story structure downtown Houston, next to Minute Maid Park about 5 years ago. One morning, as parents were dropping off their kids at the school, a homeless guy dropped his pants and left a deuce next to the curb inlet. Pulled up his pants and walked off (without wiping). This was an all girls Catholic school, and to say the parents weren’t happy would be an understatement.


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[Goldeneagle]

Saw a dead dude covered in a sheet on hwy 75 in Plano where he jumped off the George Bush Bridge.

It's happened a few times.