What are your favorite funny sayings/comebacks?

[ON THE EDGE]

Oh. And one of my favorite…..

It just shows you can’t beat stupid people. They’ll get you with experience every time.

[JayB]

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

When my kids were young and always asking about what we were going to eat, my reply would be "dried water and bread crumbs".

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[HOOKNBULLET2]

He’s like a pet coon, what he doesn’t tear up he poops on.

[TexasBob]

An opinion is like a male appendage. It’s fine to have one, great to be proud of it, but if you wave it in my face there’s going to be a problem.


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[AndyMane]

"I could chit through a screen door right now"

"Dont chit where you eat"

"I feel like I been shot at and missed then **** at and hit"

[Gumbo Man]

Saying your gonna whip my azz is the easy part. Getting it done will be harder.

[jdg13]

My grandad excusing himself: "I'm gonna go shake hands with the unemployed"

"Yeah, and if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his a** when he hopped"

"I'm busier than a one legged man at a butt kickin contest"

"That's as forked up as a football bat"

[DirtyDave]

Your Mom goes to College....

[Kelmat]

My Dad when looking at a project that he just finished- "That's good enough for the girls I go out with". My old pipefitter foreman- "We're building a Timex not a Rolex" and my favorite- "I can't see it from my house so I think it'll be alright"

[ElfEyes]

If you see me and a bear fighting in the woods you had better jump in and help the bear!

The only thing between us is air and opportunity!

Has anyone told you today that you're doing a good job? Well then work harder.

[bugleboy]

You must be Funny’s cousin Fuzzy, cause you ain’t Funny!

[Pstraw]

Don't let your jay bird mouth overload your humming bird butt.

[KGreene]

You are a special kind of stupid.
And the truest quote of this century made by a wise man, You can’t fix stupid!

[kmack]

“Your dad should have pulled out early!”

[Gunnyart]

At trade shows when someone thinks I'm including a camera with a T-Mate® mount for $25
"You want to buy the floormats and get the truck for free"