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Old 11-27-2021, 08:18 PM   #401
GARY
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Originally Posted by Chew View Post
There was the time my mom burned the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve to teach me and my brother a lesson.

We had drove her crazy (for real) about opening presents. She let us open one and we wouldn't shut up about opening more. She snapped and opened all the gifts for us and then dragged the tree to the burn pile and lit it.

It was a very quiet, somber Christmas morning. My little brother cried like a b&$#@. We never mentioned opening gifts early again.
Me and Kendra howling laughing reading these all.
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Old 11-27-2021, 08:23 PM   #402
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Me and Kendra howling laughing reading these all.
My little brother is now 47 and he's still traumatized
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Old 11-27-2021, 11:15 PM   #403
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Too funny!
Some great stories right there.
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Old 11-27-2021, 11:33 PM   #404
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Originally Posted by MadHatter View Post
1986, grandpa got drunk at Christmas, pulled a gun and started talking ****, my uncle thought he was gonna take it away, took a 357 through the chest, aunts husband took one through the leg, and grandpa got beat up pretty good.
Uncle lived but lost control of his right arm, lot of nerve damage, and about 3 yrs recovery.
Aunts husband had no permanent damage.
No charges filed, nobody went to jail.
The good ole days

I’m gonna say you win!!!
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Old 11-27-2021, 11:50 PM   #405
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Originally Posted by kck View Post
Let me preface this with the fact that I'm 34 years old and my parents have been divorced since I was 10...Well, the wife and I just got home from my mother's house as I'd had enough of both Glenlivet and listening to my mother and her boyfriend argue about whether playing music in your golf cart on the golf course is being inconsiderate and trashy or not. All whilst my father is there as well and is officiating the exchange nonetheless. Yes folks, I'm a fairly screwed up individual...haha
Wow that’s crazy, however I am 54 and have not had a parent to celebrate Christmas with since I was 26….count your blessings. Merry Christmas.
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Old 11-28-2021, 01:21 AM   #406
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Originally Posted by MadHatter View Post
1986, grandpa got drunk at Christmas, pulled a gun and started talking ****, my uncle thought he was gonna take it away, took a 357 through the chest, aunts husband took one through the leg, and grandpa got beat up pretty good.
Uncle lived but lost control of his right arm, lot of nerve damage, and about 3 yrs recovery.
Aunts husband had no permanent damage.
No charges filed, nobody went to jail.
The good ole days
The only thing keeping this from sounding like a Robert Earl King song is that it doesn’t rhyme!
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Old 11-28-2021, 08:19 AM   #407
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The only thing keeping this from sounding like a Robert Earl King song is that it doesn’t rhyme!
Nothing rhymes with “chit”?
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Old 11-28-2021, 03:21 PM   #408
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Nothing rhymes with “chit”?

Hah! Gimme a little “chit” and I can work wonders!
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Old 11-28-2021, 05:02 PM   #409
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Originally Posted by Gclyde12 View Post
This was a few years ago but man did it have me sitting on the couch 100% entertained with the situation that was playing out right in front of me.

We were all at my MIL's house for Christmas one year and my wife has a pretty wild relative, we will call this person X. Person X is a female.

Person X is married to Person Y and they have a precious little daughter.

Well about a week before this Person X's husband, Mr. person Y suspected his wife was running around on him but had no proof, but did think he knew the guys name.

The night before Chirstmas Mrs. X had to much to drink and while she wasnt paying attention her husband grabbed her phone and changed who he thought she was running around on him withs phone number to his number but left the name the same so that any text she sent that weekend would be strait to his phone instead of the suspected "friend".

Well Christmas morning rolls around and we are all sitting around the tree waiting on everyone to gather except for Mrs. X who is in the bathroom taking Nudes and sending them to who she thought was her friend back home with some pretty explicit wording below them not know they were going strait to Mr. Husband Y who is reading these all out for everyone to see and hear in the living room. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

Hilarious!!!
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Old 11-28-2021, 09:13 PM   #410
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My family is fairly drama free…. But. A few years ago my brother and his two sons and I slipped up to the farm for a quick pre-xmas hunt/bondathon. Deer hunting in late December in Polk County can start to be good again, but the boys were more interested in poker and the whiskey. This is when it always goes awry. One thing lead to the other and we are all pie-eyed. The morning hunt did not look good. And that’s when the subject of Pogosa Springs came up after said town was referenced in a song we were listening to by String Cheese Incident. Now understand this…no one in our family has ever lived in Colorado, gone to school in Colorado or even spend much time up there, but the two boys seemed to really take pride in knowing this geographic trivia about the mountain range that Pagosa Springs is in. One went with the Rockies and one went with the San Juan’s. (Which one went with which mountain range is lost to the haze of the hooch, and I believe the San Juan brother was correct, but in interest of family peace we have never really revisited the topic). What is known is each of the boys was 110% sure they were right. The debate got lively and before we knew it the boys were shirtless throwing blows in the front yard full on white trash style. The brawl went three rounds before the uncle and the old man could break them up. Both got their licks in. The Crown Royal is off limits now to the boys and the evening is now quietly referred to as The Pagosa Springs Incident. Good clean fun. Neither of us made the morning hunt.
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Old 11-29-2021, 11:52 AM   #411
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A Thanksgiving tale.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/stray-bul...174019001.html
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Old 12-21-2021, 10:24 PM   #412
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I was looking forward to having another entry this year but we have Covid.

Its just going to be my wife, daughter, MIL and I.

Still plenty potential to go south, it is frigging Christmas.
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Old 12-22-2021, 08:15 PM   #413
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Originally Posted by Gclyde12 View Post
This was a few years ago but man did it have me sitting on the couch 100% entertained with the situation that was playing out right in front of me.

We were all at my MIL's house for Christmas one year and my wife has a pretty wild relative, we will call this person X. Person X is a female.

Person X is married to Person Y and they have a precious little daughter.

Well about a week before this Person X's husband, Mr. person Y suspected his wife was running around on him but had no proof, but did think he knew the guys name.

The night before Chirstmas Mrs. X had to much to drink and while she wasnt paying attention her husband grabbed her phone and changed who he thought she was running around on him withs phone number to his number but left the name the same so that any text she sent that weekend would be strait to his phone instead of the suspected "friend".

Well Christmas morning rolls around and we are all sitting around the tree waiting on everyone to gather except for Mrs. X who is in the bathroom taking Nudes and sending them to who she thought was her friend back home with some pretty explicit wording below them not know they were going strait to Mr. Husband Y who is reading these all out for everyone to see and hear in the living room. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.

The real question is why am I just now finding out about this story on TBH? You been holding out man.
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Old 12-22-2021, 08:56 PM   #414
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Originally Posted by Gclyde28 View Post
The real question is why am I just now finding out about this story on TBH? You been holding out man.
yikes
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Old 12-24-2021, 12:19 PM   #415
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Nothing truly dysfunctional here, but one of my wife’s cousins is wearing a “Sleigh the Patriarchy” sweater ��
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Old 12-24-2021, 12:20 PM   #416
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Originally Posted by Colton View Post
Nothing truly dysfunctional here, but one of my wife’s cousins is wearing a “Sleigh the Patriarchy” sweater ��
Female cousin Im assuming?
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Old 12-24-2021, 12:55 PM   #417
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Female cousin Im assuming?
Yes sir
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Old 12-24-2021, 01:03 PM   #418
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Originally Posted by Colton View Post
Nothing truly dysfunctional here, but one of my wife’s cousins is wearing a “Sleigh the Patriarchy” sweater ��
I bet she is married to a real head of the household kind of fella.🤣
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Old 12-24-2021, 01:13 PM   #419
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I bet she is married to a real head of the household kind of fella.🤣
Nah she is single to the best of my knowledge
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Old 12-24-2021, 01:19 PM   #420
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Nah she is single to the best of my knowledge
And likely to remain that way.
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Old 12-24-2021, 01:31 PM   #421
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Originally Posted by Colton View Post
Nothing truly dysfunctional here, but one of my wife’s cousins is wearing a “Sleigh the Patriarchy” sweater ��
Daddy issues, perhaps?
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Old 12-24-2021, 01:41 PM   #422
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Daddy issues, perhaps?
I don’t think so, her dad is a good guy, all her sisters (5 girls total) are cool, I guess she is just really bought in to the “white man evil” deal
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Old 12-24-2021, 01:50 PM   #423
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I was a LEO for 25 years and I could write a book but one thing that happened almost every Christmas time was some clown would toss the family Christmas tree thru the front window. We would pull up and sure enough there it laid tinsel and all.
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Old 12-24-2021, 02:56 PM   #424
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Update: Her white elephant gift included a “The Patriarchy gets coal for Christmas” bumper sticker
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Old 12-24-2021, 03:00 PM   #425
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Originally Posted by Colton View Post
I don’t think so, her dad is a good guy, all her sisters (5 girls total) are cool, I guess she is just really bought in to the “white man evil” deal
She is probably related to my wife's family somehow. Lots of man haters on that branch.
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Old 12-24-2021, 03:08 PM   #426
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In the middle of one now....
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Old 12-24-2021, 03:24 PM   #427
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In the middle of one now....
Oh boy!!!!!!
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Old 12-24-2021, 03:33 PM   #428
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Originally Posted by glennp View Post
In the middle of one now....
Start hammering out live updates!

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
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Old 12-24-2021, 04:01 PM   #429
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Originally Posted by dope hunter View Post
Start hammering out live updates!

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Just a little advice / teaser:

If you want some of your more "redneck" female family members to beat up your ex-wife for $500.00, make sure the ex is not on the "family" group text....

Not me but a family member really screwed up on this one.
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Old 12-24-2021, 04:03 PM   #430
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My 1.5 year old daughter got toy cleaning supplies as a gift. Guess who made it a point to tell us if we have a boy he better get the same gift ��
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Old 12-24-2021, 04:07 PM   #431
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Originally Posted by glennp View Post

If you want some of your more "redneck" female family members to beat up your ex-wife for $500.00, make sure the ex is not on the "family" group text....
I can see that text message as a tree ornament for next Xmas.



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Old 12-24-2021, 04:23 PM   #432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glennp View Post
Just a little advice / teaser:

If you want some of your more "redneck" female family members to beat up your ex-wife for $500.00, make sure the ex is not on the "family" group text....

Not me but a family member really screwed up on this one.
Is the ex on her way over? If so, video with audio is a must!

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Old 12-24-2021, 06:43 PM   #433
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My family told the drunk uncle he had to be vaccinated to go to Thanksgiving. So here I am about to put a prime rib on for myself
Sounds like great plan.
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Old 12-24-2021, 07:02 PM   #434
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Originally Posted by TX CHICKEN View Post
I have a good one. Got to “meet” my 2 new cousins this year....brother and sister who are now both transgender. At least my aunt and uncle still have a “boy” and a “girl”. The crazy part is the girl/ now a boy is dating her best friend from high school that is a gay guy. Pretty screwed up.
Reminds me of Ray Stevens I’m my own grandpa!!!
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Old 12-24-2021, 07:37 PM   #435
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Originally Posted by Colton View Post
My 1.5 year old daughter got toy cleaning supplies as a gift. Guess who made it a point to tell us if we have a boy he better get the same gift ��
Just tell her “nah that’s women’s work” and let the games begin. Get this thread going.
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Old 12-24-2021, 08:13 PM   #436
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Originally Posted by glennp View Post
Just a little advice / teaser:

If you want some of your more "redneck" female family members to beat up your ex-wife for $500.00, make sure the ex is not on the "family" group text....

Not me but a family member really screwed up on this one.
Video Please!!!! Address? I’ll give $500 to watch!! I’ll even bring beer!!

Last edited by Pawnhunter; 12-24-2021 at 08:14 PM. Reason: Adding to comment
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Old 12-24-2021, 08:20 PM   #437
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You can’t really make that up..
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Old 12-25-2021, 08:42 PM   #438
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Anything happen today?
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