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Old 06-30-2021, 08:17 AM   #1
Dusty Britches
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Default Nice or naive?

I'm such a sucker to someone who asks for help.

Two weeks ago I was leaving the pharmacy and there was a man around 60-70 with a flat tire in the parking lot who look exacerbated with a flat tire on his older Caddy. It was super hot that afternoon and I asked if he needed help. Yes, he did not have a tire iron. He said since he was not from the area and he was scared to ask for help due to what he's seen in the news about conflicts between people of different skin colors. I loaned him my tire iron from my Chevy Impala. Then his hydraulic jack was leaking so I loaned him my scissor jack. I held an umbrella over him while he changed the tire. As he lowered the jack onto his spare we both realized the spare had a hole in it. Someone loaned him a cheesy air compressor but it would not hold air. So, I told the old feller to put his tire in my car, I drove him to Firestone, bought a new tire for him, and drove him back to his car. (Special thank you to my dear friend at Firestone for giving me a tire at cost.) By now I've realized this chance encounter was not for me to help him, but for him to help me. He was a retired bishop and former teacher at a small seminary school in Houston. He preached the Word the whole time I was with him. He put his tire back on his car and went home to Houston from College Station. I'll likely not forget Mr. Charles Turner any time soon.

This morning I stopped to get gas at a store just off Hwy 6 in Bryan. While I'm filling up, a large man at the next pump island started talking to me asking if I knew how to shoot. Shocked, I looked at him like, "why do you ask?" but before I could say anything, he said, "you look like you can handle yourself. Are you a hunter?" His demeanor was very pleasant and cordial and he was careful to stay several yards from me. I did not answer his question and in the silence he asked if I was from the area. I said I worked here. He asked if I was in security. I just smiled and sensing this was not going to be just a causal conversation I asked if he needed something. Then he gave me some story about how his truck was out of gas and someone let him borrow the Ford Explorer SUV that he was driving and he needed some cash to put gas in his truck to get home to Somerville. I gave him $10 and he got in the Explorer and drove off.

I shook my head and told myself I was a sucker. But, then I thought if $10 was all it took to get him to leave, maybe that was a good thing. Then I thought about his story and the more I thought about it the more unsettled I've become. Something about his departing made me feel lucky and completely naive. I guess I always see the good in people. I looked up and thanked Jesus for protecting me always.
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:27 AM   #2
DUKFVR
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I never give to those needing gas. I will help if I think they really need it like the flat tire & older people. I have bought people a meal that were truly hungry & last week went further than I ever have. I was in the store getting Ice & an old guy was counting out pennies & nickels to buy a beer. He asked me if I had a nickel he could have. I laughed & said here & handed him a dollar & said its hot out there, get you a beer. LOL!
You are a good person and try to see good in all!
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:32 AM   #3
kevin nicholls
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Seems to me you listened to that little voice ( the Holy Spirit ) both times and it was correct both times. Don't give up on humanity, but don't trust it completely either. Good work.
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:34 AM   #4
Preacher Man
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Nice to the first guy. Naive to the second guy.

Iíve had people get really mad when they ask for money for gas and I tell them no. On two occasions, we were a millisecond away from aggressive negotiations. So maybe youíre right, $10 got rid of him.
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:37 AM   #5
RedBear78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevin nicholls View Post
Seems to me you listened to that little voice ( the Holy Spirit ) both times and it was correct both times. Don't give up on humanity, but don't trust it completely either. Good work.
That sums things up quite nicely you never know when your being used by Holy Spirit
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:39 AM   #6
Abu_dude
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For some reason, at least to me, I don't think I've ever felt as vulnerable as when standing at a gas pump waiting on my vehicle to fill up. Especially if its not one of my regular stations. I find myself constantly scanning the pumps and parking areas.
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:43 AM   #7
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Nothing wrong with being nice even to a con man if you can afford it. I've given gas money knowing it was going towards something else
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:45 AM   #8
rolylane6
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Neither time did giving hurt you so let God sort out the rest of it. I give when God calls me to do so and let Him do the work with it. I believe God can still work with giving to someone who is "scamming" you. I always make sure they know my giving is from Him, not from me. Having said that, I don't give to everyone who asks. I let the spirit guide me.

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Old 06-30-2021, 08:46 AM   #9
npe001
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First one was an unbelievable gesture, second one was sketchy just from the start. I am always carrying and never feel comfortable when someone approaches me at the pump. I know it is not right, but I always judge them and feel like I "know" if I am being played when they ask for money. Same thing with a homeless person, I always offer to buy them food instead of giving them cash...
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:51 AM   #10
S-3 Ranch
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I am probably crazy, but a have a bad habit of stopping and asking people if they need a ride in to town when traveling from one ranch to another, usually they’re just down on their luck folks and I give them a ride as far as I am going or as far as they need, buy them a soda or something when I stop for fuel, if they smoke I will usually give them a few cigarettes, I know if I was walking down a cruddy road or in a gimpy boat I would definitely hope someone would stop to ask me ,
Karma and learning to be humble

But I am uncomfortable with the gasoline people

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Old 06-30-2021, 08:54 AM   #11
TX03RUBI
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Nice first, and naive second.

I work in the Permian as a salesman, and live in Lubbock while driving a Tundra. I spend far more time at gas stations than Iíd like . Usually once a day, sometimes twice a day. I encounter more than my share of people ďneedingĒ gas money. Canít tell you how many times Iíve seen those same people go jump in a new Navigator or Escalade after I told them no. Now days I tell everyone no. If they say theyíre hungry or thirsty Iíll offer to buy them food or a drink, but Iíll never hand anyone cash. The only time Iíve had one get aggressive with me was in Austin, and he quit pretty quickly when he noticed where my hand was.
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:57 AM   #12
3DW5
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All you can do is what’s right, let God judge their actions afterwards.
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:00 AM   #13
Artos
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Sounds to me your internal radar is firing on all cylinders...don't overthink it & disregard any critics.
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:05 AM   #14
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Luke 6:27-36
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:10 AM   #15
ultrastealth
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Naive. I've seen the same guy on several days outside of Home Depot drive up and put his hood up so he could try to get people to give him money to "get his truck fixed". I not only don't bite on that stuff, I'm rude about it.
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:23 AM   #16
gander
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I used to be the one who would help out with a bit of cash, probably too often. I started a new job a few years ago, and my office is two blocks off I-10. I have to pass under 10 and then stop at a light on the feeder road beside an overpass where a large group of homeless live. I have seen 4 or 5 of the same people begging on the corner for almost the entire time. Several of these people I have bought a second breakfast or lunch for and tried to give it to them and have had them turn it down and asked for money instead. These people are pushy and will walk right up next to your window, standing within feet of it looking straight at you and putting on an Oscar award winning act with tears and all. It's unfortunate because I know many of these people have fallen on hard times and do want to better themselves, but the "colony" living under that overpass has set in stone that I will no longer help out to people begging on a corner.
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:29 AM   #17
Agdog
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ďIn the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.Ē
**Matthew‬ *5:16‬ *ESV‬‬

Just keep being the light!
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:51 AM   #18
Bucknaked
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Quote:
Originally Posted by npe001 View Post
First one was an unbelievable gesture, second one was sketchy just from the start. I am always carrying and never feel comfortable when someone approaches me at the pump. I know it is not right, but I always judge them and feel like I "know" if I am being played when they ask for money. Same thing with a homeless person, I always offer to buy them food instead of giving them cash...
A friend told me this a few years ago ď what if it was Jesus ď ! I used to carry very little cash on me but Iíve started carrying extra 5ís, 10ís, 20ís ETcÖ and ask Jesus to guide me. Itís not bad at all to be totally aware of your surroundings and we have to be especially now. If Iím at a gas station and someone approaches me I start praying and the Holy Spirit guides me. Sometimes Iíll fill up their tank and go purchase them a meal. If they are begging for a dollar or some money outside of a convenience store Iíll offer to take them in and purchase them food and drink- sometimes they get angry because they just want alcohol and I will not purchase them alcohol. If their on street corners and the traffic is safe Iíll donate to them ! It doesnít matter if they misuse the funds because that is between them and God, but if I donít give from my heart then that could also be between God and me.

You did great !
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Old 06-30-2021, 09:56 AM   #19
Dusty Britches
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Thanks, Agdog, Low Fence, Kevin and others - I tell myself everyday to be the light that shines the way to Him. If I'm not being the light that pierces the darkness how will others find their way?

As far as the gas station - I go there often because it is large, clean, well lit, has cameras everywhere, and at 6:30 in the morning generally the only people you see are workers. The station also has lots of employees who have been there a long time. All of these tell me the location is a good one. For those familiar with BCS, it was the Stripes on Briarcrest.

That first guy that I helped was almost in tears and kept asking why I was being so nice. I told him that someone once helped me in the same way and I felt that I was right where God wanted me to be, doing what He wanted me to do. He even asked what my husband was going to say when I told him. I laughed, nothing. (And he didn't say anything of it.)

I still think goodness and grace reigns, even though you don't read about it in the news.
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Old 06-30-2021, 10:03 AM   #20
91cavgt
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For a short period of time I worked for Waco Transit. There is a guy that begs on the corner of 84 and I-35. Every weekday at 5-6 pm a Waco Transit bus picks him up at the HEB and takes him home to Speegilvile. He was VERY rude and judgmental on my driving simply because I stopped at a yield sign because of oncoming traffic.

Then there is another guy that used to regularly panhandle at Lakeshore and I-35. He walks with a really bad limp, until the light turns green. Once he turns around and walks back towards I-35 his limp magically disappears. Then it comes back when he turns to walk past the stopped cars.


I’ll go out of my way to help someone, but people like this that abuse people’s kindness have made me very cautious. Follow your gut and your heart and God will never steer you wrong.
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Old 06-30-2021, 10:08 AM   #21
Low Fence
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Look at it this way. Every year you pay taxes, to a government that you know 100% is wasting it and lying to your face. With a stranger the odds are a little better. Lol
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Old 06-30-2021, 10:15 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedBear78 View Post
That sums things up quite nicely you never know when your being used by Holy Spirit
Yep
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Old 06-30-2021, 05:17 PM   #23
Raider4044
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I'll generally give somebody a few dollars and/or help out if I can, but one particular guy in Lubbock has really soured my attitude about giving money.

He approached me while I was loading groceries into my pickup at Walmart wearing a Vietnam vet cap and explained that he and his mother hit a curb and cracked a rim on their car, and they were short a few dollars to replace it. (The car had a spare on it at the time, so I believed him) He also said he was a vet and even me showed his military ID. He then told me he'd wash my pickup for me for if I'd give him a few dollars. I told him him not to worry about it and handed him $20 and went on my way.

A couple months later I was leaving Chuy's after eating with a few friends and a guy came up and told me he was a veteran and asked if I had a few extra dollars to spare. I didn't have any cash on me, so he moved on to one of my buddies. About the time he was walking away, I realized it was the same guy I'd encountered a couple months ago. I called my buddy afterwards and asked what he told him, and come to find out, he told him the exact same story about his car that he'd told me months before. We were both ticked that we'd been screwed out of a few dollars.

In the time since, that same guy has told me that same story five different times in five different places around Lubbock. I've had words with him about it twice, and he admitted both times that he was lying and that it wouldn't happen again. (Turns out that was another lie) I also know four friends of mine that have encountered the same guy at least once.

The part of it that really pi$$es me off the most is that he always has to point out that he's a veteran. I'm about as much of a supporter of our military as you can be and that was the main reason I helped him out the first time. It makes me mad that he's using that and giving our vets a bad reputation.

With that being said, if you are ever in the Lubbock area and a guy named Cecil tells you he's a vet and is having car trouble, don't give that POS any money.
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Old 06-30-2021, 05:31 PM   #24
rolylane6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raider4044 View Post
I'll generally give somebody a few dollars and/or help out if I can, but one particular guy in Lubbock has really soured my attitude about giving money.



He approached me while I was loading groceries into my pickup at Walmart wearing a Vietnam vet cap and explained that he and his mother hit a curb and cracked a rim on their car, and they were short a few dollars to replace it. (The car had a spare on it at the time, so I believed him) He also said he was a vet and even me showed his military ID. He then told me he'd wash my pickup for me for if I'd give him a few dollars. I told him him not to worry about it and handed him $20 and went on my way.



A couple months later I was leaving Chuy's after eating with a few friends and a guy came up and told me he was a veteran and asked if I had a few extra dollars to spare. I didn't have any cash on me, so he moved on to one of my buddies. About the time he was walking away, I realized it was the same guy I'd encountered a couple months ago. I called my buddy afterwards and asked what he told him, and come to find out, he told him the exact same story about his car that he'd told me months before. We were both ticked that we'd been screwed out of a few dollars.



In the time since, that same guy has told me that same story five different times in five different places around Lubbock. I've had words with him about it twice, and he admitted both times that he was lying and that it wouldn't happen again. (Turns out that was another lie) I also know four friends of mine that have encountered the same guy at least once.



The part of it that really pi$$es me off the most is that he always has to point out that he's a veteran. I'm about as much of a supporter of our military as you can be and that was the main reason I helped him out the first time. It makes me mad that he's using that and giving our vets a bad reputation.



With that being said, if you are ever in the Lubbock area and a guy named Cecil tells you he's a vet and is having car trouble, don't give that POS any money.
I had a similar incident with a guy in Ft Worth about 20 yrs ago. Gave him $20 the 1st time and about a year later he approached me on the other side of town with exact same story. I let go for a few minutes then interrupted and told him I already heard that story, tell me a new one. He walked away and flipped me off. I got a good laugh out of it and I still give to those in need when I feel Gods calling to do so. Like I said before, He sorts out the consequences. I'd rather they deal with God's wrath than me!

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Old 06-30-2021, 05:35 PM   #25
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Your good people Tracey. That's what good people do.



All you gotta do is ask your self: "What would Jesus do?"


World would be a whole lot better place if everyone did that.
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Old 06-30-2021, 05:44 PM   #26
HoustonHunter94
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Iím much more apt to give someone money if their (Hi Chew) honest. When they try to scam me with some BS sob story, shut down quick. I was outside a bar in Jacksonville, FL a few years ago and theyíre (Hi Chew) was a guy in a wheelchair whose legs were obviously not functional who asked me for a few bucks, he said he wanted a drink and go get something to eat. I gave him a $20 and watched as he went and bought a big *** beer and a microwave sandwich from the filling station across the street. Just be honest.


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Old 06-30-2021, 07:03 PM   #27
RiverRat1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Preacher Man View Post
Nice to the first guy. Naive to the second guy.

Iíve had people get really mad when they ask for money for gas and I tell them no. On two occasions, we were a millisecond away from aggressive negotiations. So maybe youíre right, $10 got rid of him.
Quote:
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Nothing wrong with being nice even to a con man if you can afford it. I've given gas money knowing it was going towards something else
The only issue is like most on TBH complain about. Every time someone gives to a con man of any kind it just ensures they keep conning. If people stopped giving they wouldn't try.
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Old 06-30-2021, 07:40 PM   #28
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One time I was getting gas at Kroger. Some probably 20ish girl with a kid on either hip kept getting her card declined. The kids were wailing, it was hot. I bought her a tank of gas and took her grocery shopping. I couldn’t help but feel I was being scammed, but then I figured I could spare it, and I couldn’t look at myself on the mirror if I didn’t help a broke mom in a rat trap car get home and feed her kids.

I guess the moral is you have to live with yourself everyday. Do what makes you proud of the actions you take, and who cares about the rest.
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Old 06-30-2021, 07:51 PM   #29
lovemylegacy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevin nicholls View Post
Seems to me you listened to that little voice ( the Holy Spirit ) both times and it was correct both times. Don't give up on humanity, but don't trust it completely either. Good work.
DB, this right here.

If in the future, you want to help with gas, tell them to pull up to the pump, go inside and pay for their gas. This way you maintain distance, go into a safer, public place. At that point you can leave or keep an eye on them until they leave.
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Old 06-30-2021, 08:01 PM   #30
DRT
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I don't like to be approached. I have no issue helping change a tire in a public place, helping with some money in the line when they are trying to decide what not to take home because they are short.
I have also been in a bad situation when I stopped to help and the hidden other party came out with a shotgun.
Yeah it's good to help. Especially a woman with a little kid or senior citizen. The rest of em need to work as many hours as I do in the sun and earn a few bucks to pay for their own gas.

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Old 06-30-2021, 08:36 PM   #31
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I'm 72 and look it and feel it. I get offered help fairly often. It's physical help for the most part.
Bless those folks, and after I smile about the good people can offer, I have to deal with a bit of facing fact. I don't deal with slinging Quickcrete in the back of the truck very well anymore.
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Old 07-01-2021, 12:55 AM   #32
okrattler
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I used to be more like that but I've been burned way too many times. I don't even trust family with money because they're the quickest to screw you over seems like. And because of that I'm more likely to pull over and help a complete stranger than a member of my own family. I just don't trust people as much as I used to. I didn't ask to be that way. Wasn't born that way but was broken down and rebuilt that way. Be kind to everyone, trust no one. Sadly you just can't now days.

As for getting burned well, I did what I thought was right at the time. Learned from it and made a mental note of who I definitely cannot trust whatsoever.

To answer your question I'd say you're a little of both. More nice than naive because you didn't trust something about the guy at the gas pumps obviously. So you're aware that you can't trust everyone.

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Old 07-01-2021, 09:19 AM   #33
Throwin Darts
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"If they can ask you for money they can also say "Welcome to McDonalds" - Michael Jordan
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Old 07-01-2021, 09:51 AM   #34
stickemhard3
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On the 2nd story, he was leading/steering you, which means he was targeting you. Completely different approach than the first story. People that steer conversations like in the story you referenced, are doing it with an intention and I'd be he is some type of con.
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Old 07-01-2021, 10:43 AM   #35
Jon B
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"Spidy Senses" is god's gift to all of us. I don't question it. It has kept me alive more than once!
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