This past week I moved my Dad, 94 and my Mom ,88 with Alzheimer's into an assisted living facility and I was not as mentally prepared as I thought I was.
We have lived in the same neighborhood for the past 20 years and I would see them frequently, especially when my kids were young plus we attended the same church. 13 months ago my Mom's Alzheimer's was more manageable and Dad was still able to care for her. Last June Dad developed some sort of hip & leg problem and it was painful for him to stand and walk so we hired a home health service to sit with them & do housekeeping during the day and I would go over every night after getting off work to help them get to bed, sleep on the couch to help them during the night, take care of their yard and general upkeep on the house and do it all over the next day. Mom's condition has worsened somewhat and she has recently had bladder/colon cancer which seems to have really rocked her world. Dad seems to be having some memory issues as well as he is now having trouble keeping his check book balanced and gets confused about where his money is coming from plus he is not as strong and steady on his feet as he was just one year ago.
Dad finally, agreed it was time but was reluctant. I knew it would be difficult for him as he has always been his own man and very self reliant. On moving day I made arrangements for them to be out of the house so the movers could pack up the furniture while I stayed at the house to tell them what to take.
As I watched my parents house being dismantled it hit me that this is really happening and I would no longer be just popping in the house for a cup of coffee or I wouldn't be building deer stands at Dad's - he enjoyed woodworking and working on a project. As I sat in their half empty living room I became very emotional and while I knew it would be hard for them I don't think I fully appreciated how hard it really would be for them until that moment.
I will still see them several times per week and continue to take them to doctors appointments and such it just wont be the same. I have prayed about this decision and sought counsel from others I trust who have been through the same thing and know it was the right thing to do but it was a lot harder than I thought. They say Alzheimer's is the long good bye and I can't help but feel this is the beginning of the end.
My sister has been in town for a couple of weeks and my brother is flying in from Montana later this week and we will going through their things and preparing to put their house on the market.
I am happy to have had the opportunity to honor my mother & father in this way. I am truly blessed to to be the child of strong, Loving Christian parents who will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary in March.
We have lived in the same neighborhood for the past 20 years and I would see them frequently, especially when my kids were young plus we attended the same church. 13 months ago my Mom's Alzheimer's was more manageable and Dad was still able to care for her. Last June Dad developed some sort of hip & leg problem and it was painful for him to stand and walk so we hired a home health service to sit with them & do housekeeping during the day and I would go over every night after getting off work to help them get to bed, sleep on the couch to help them during the night, take care of their yard and general upkeep on the house and do it all over the next day. Mom's condition has worsened somewhat and she has recently had bladder/colon cancer which seems to have really rocked her world. Dad seems to be having some memory issues as well as he is now having trouble keeping his check book balanced and gets confused about where his money is coming from plus he is not as strong and steady on his feet as he was just one year ago.
Dad finally, agreed it was time but was reluctant. I knew it would be difficult for him as he has always been his own man and very self reliant. On moving day I made arrangements for them to be out of the house so the movers could pack up the furniture while I stayed at the house to tell them what to take.
As I watched my parents house being dismantled it hit me that this is really happening and I would no longer be just popping in the house for a cup of coffee or I wouldn't be building deer stands at Dad's - he enjoyed woodworking and working on a project. As I sat in their half empty living room I became very emotional and while I knew it would be hard for them I don't think I fully appreciated how hard it really would be for them until that moment.
I will still see them several times per week and continue to take them to doctors appointments and such it just wont be the same. I have prayed about this decision and sought counsel from others I trust who have been through the same thing and know it was the right thing to do but it was a lot harder than I thought. They say Alzheimer's is the long good bye and I can't help but feel this is the beginning of the end.
My sister has been in town for a couple of weeks and my brother is flying in from Montana later this week and we will going through their things and preparing to put their house on the market.
I am happy to have had the opportunity to honor my mother & father in this way. I am truly blessed to to be the child of strong, Loving Christian parents who will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary in March.
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