If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I'd have taken much better care of myself.
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Got the squirts so bad, I could **** through a screen door.Comment
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Referring to that buck toothed kid down the street...
He could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.Comment
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"Back in MY day..."Comment
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"That's slicker'en snot"
and
after finishing up any kind of project, take a step back, and say, "I reckon that's good enough for the girls we go with".Comment
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when I was being very picky about a project, doing it right.."Son, you aint buildin' a piano!"Comment
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You'd think that after all these years I'd learn not to trust a fart.Comment
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She is so easy that if you mash her bellybutton her legs fly apart.Comment
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And....she’s built like a tractor...little bitty headlights and great big knobby rear tires...Comment
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I told you when we got married that I loved you... if that ever changes, I'll let you know...Comment
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You date her you better take a two by four to strap to your butt.Comment
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Grandpa when I went through my divorce at the ripe old age of 21:
“Well that sucks son, but’s that’s the chance you take when you gamble on meat.”Comment
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Dad use to tell us when we were acting up......"You and I are about to go to Fist City...where I'm the Mayor!"Comment
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And the one that exemplifies being really old...”When I was young I tried to get all I could..now I can’t remember what it was I got when I did.”Comment
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Take her two trips to haul a s s
Looks like two coons fighting in a burlap bag
No more'n I know about it
That dog will hunt
Need a bigger hammer
Don't fix it if it ain't brokeComment
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