Why do people kill themselves

[Ætheling]

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[Killer]

First, to the OP, I'm sorry for your loss. Suicide is such a horrible thing as it leaves so many asking "why" and "what could I have done".

I think the reason people commit suicide is different for each person however, I think those reasons all fit into a similar category. Depression as a result of trauma, their life feeling out of control due to trauma/various events... that sort of thing.

I have PTSD, it began during my 1st deployment in 2003. It wasn't diagnosed but I look back and all the signs were there. I redeployed less than a year later in 2004. In February 2006 I was a trigger pull away from ending it all. I was drinking excessively. I was on some cocktail from the VA (they were wholly unprepared for what was to come) and my life was spinning out of control. I'd lost my job, was facing charges for 2 assaults, just random events where I lost it, I ended my engagement with my fiancé (my wife now). It was all trauma based. I couldn't escape the mental anguish/imagery, two specific events really. But, it spilled over into my day to day life. I was ready to end it but I chickened out, thankfully. I called a buddy who showed up and also called my Dad who drove 6 hours through the night to me.

I can completely understand how people get to that point of hopelessness but, that does not mean I agree with it or think it's the solution. I've lost more friends to suicide then I lost oversees. The brain is the most complex organ in our body, we've got to rid the stigma of mental health and make the act of seeing a therapist okay. You're not less of a man/woman if you see a therapist/counselor. There are some amazing therapists out there who can give you the tools to turn your life around.

Thanks for the testimony and good advice along with your service.

[Briar Friar]

Thanks for the testimony and good advice along with your service.

Word. Thank you for your service MrChongo.

Listening to suicide recoverers there seems to be a common theme to recovery, which is focusing on others and not themselves. The self inward focus seems to drive aggravation of self loathing. Something about the outward positive focus toward other people seems to spur a drive of love and live for something greater than themselves.

[Ætheling]

First, to the OP, I'm sorry for your loss. Suicide is such a horrible thing as it leaves so many asking "why" and "what could I have done".

I think the reason people commit suicide is different for each person however, I think those reasons all fit into a similar category. Depression as a result of trauma, their life feeling out of control due to trauma/various events... that sort of thing.

I have PTSD, it began during my 1st deployment in 2003. It wasn't diagnosed but I look back and all the signs were there. I redeployed less than a year later in 2004. In February 2006 I was a trigger pull away from ending it all. I was drinking excessively. I was on some cocktail from the VA (they were wholly unprepared for what was to come) and my life was spinning out of control. I'd lost my job, was facing charges for 2 assaults, just random events where I lost it, I ended my engagement with my fiancé (my wife now). It was all trauma based. I couldn't escape the mental anguish/imagery, two specific events really. But, it spilled over into my day to day life. I was ready to end it but I chickened out, thankfully. I called a buddy who showed up and also called my Dad who drove 6 hours through the night to me.

I can completely understand how people get to that point of hopelessness but, that does not mean I agree with it or think it's the solution. I've lost more friends to suicide then I lost oversees. The brain is the most complex organ in our body, we've got to rid the stigma of mental health and make the act of seeing a therapist okay. You're not less of a man/woman if you see a therapist/counselor. There are some amazing therapists out there who can give you the tools to turn your life around.

Unfortunately the stigma is even worse for veterans. I worked for a Fortune 500 OnG company that ended up putting the entire department through some kind of veterans sensitivity training whatever the eff that is due to some things that were said about me. Just young and dumb kids right out of college saying crap like Id probably shoot up the place one day and two instances of intimidating female coworkers. Both times I was brought in and treated like a pariah by HR. You would have thought they would have learned the first time. Both times the investigation concluded when the accuser was asked what I did/said and the answer was something like “well just look at him”. Was asked if I was going to get a lawyer. Left that place. I look like a big bearded weight lifting veteran because thats what I am. I dont even want to think about how some people would act if they knew you were a vet with mental struggles. Good thing around TX most people get it and would only show compassion.


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[captainsling]

My best friend from High School committed suicide when we were 22. I wound up marrying his sister 10 years later. It is never discussed with the family but my wife and I have discussed it. Nobody knows why to this day other than he was a coward who took the easy way out. He had everything going for him. It has literally ruined this family and they walk on eggshells. Every time the phone rings after we go to bed or get up in the morning my wife's shoots out of bed to answer it thinking another life has ended. It is sad how it can consume people and make them live in fear. Everything in life is a what if situation with them. They can't seem to enjoy life and not think the worst outcome of every situation. I will never understand it.my wife sys I don't know what it is like, but I do know what it was like to lose my best friend at the time. I guess I just had a better support group at the time that helped me cope with it and understand.

[rtjh]

Seeing what my dad went through with chemo and radiation fighting terminal cancer, I've made up my mind that I'm not going out like that. My brothers say the same thing, we'll go out by our own hand first.

[Bubba]

A Friend of my son did a month ago. Beautiful young lady. Always nice to be around. She talked to her dad and my sons girlfriend that night with no signs. I was told she was on hold with suicide hotline for hour and half. Her demons were too much for her to handle.I wish I knew the answer.I guess Ive never been that down.

[medic911]

Having done a great deal of reading on the subject here is what I have come up with.

There is a biological change in the brain of someone that gets to that point. So when you hear someone say “oh that wasn’t like him/her” they are right. Ppl are really not in their right mind.

More often than not it’s not a way out but a way to stop the pain. Be that physical or emotional pain. I have spoke to a few that have tried and they all say the same “ I just wanted the pain to stop”.

[Jon Stewart]

Neighbors 15 year old grand daughter hung her self about 3 months ago.

Buddies daughter was a chiropractor and got to running around with a heavy drinker/doper so she quit her career and went to tending bar. Left that guy and moved back home with her mother. Guess she got fed up with life and one day when her mother opened the garage door her 32 year old daughter was hanging in front of her.

Dealt with it once in awhile when on the police department.

Guess they must be week in the mind.

[sailor]

MBV77---- That ain't Murder..
I'd consider it, justifiable Homicide..
And plead temp. insanity. If I, was on the jury..
You'd have your next meal, in the restaurant of your choice..

[D12]

Sad

[Blank]

Stuff happens, for unknown reasons. Only God knows for sure! Some to hurt themselves, some to hurt others, some just don't know and think it's the only way out of their problem. I like to believe "While there is life, there is always hope!"

[Ætheling]

The “bravery” exhibited on here is overwhelming. Never seen so many hero’s before. Congrats [emoji23]


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[Razrbk89]

Sorry for your loss, OP. It is certainly hard to understand and difficult to cope with.

Unfortunately I’ve known a few people that took that way out. I was very close to one of them and it was the typical “we didn’t see it coming.” He was having some struggles that he wasn’t forthcoming about. I wanted so hard to believe it was an accident, but it couldn’t have been. Still miss the guy a lot.

I found a guy that hung himself a few years ago. I didn’t know him - but think he had to know id find him because it was in an isolated area that only I go to & he’d see me going in there from his house. I’ll admit that I still don’t like to see “hanging scenes” on tv/movies. Not scared to admit it freaked me out. I can see it vividly

[SnJGuin]

This is a touchy subject for me and I have asked this question almost every day for a year now. One of my son's (15) took his own life one year ago almost to this day and I still don't know why. He was always joyful, smile on his face, asked a lot about life and was planning on building a house, how finances work and so on. Never showed any signs. He was always friendly with the neighbors and everyone he met. I talked to every kid and teacher (~120) that showed up to his services and none of them thought he would have done this.

We adopted him and his two siblings back in 2007 and after his death is when we found out suicide "runs in the family" is what we were told. His six great aunts all committed suicide.

All I can say is mental health is serious and sometimes they don't give any signs they need help.