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Old 05-16-2020, 11:11 AM   #1
Hoggslayer
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Default Not liking the new normal.

Last night, the wife and I made reservation to a fancy restaurant. Just the two of us, no kids. We needed to get out of the house after being cooped up from all this Covid stuff. We aren't too scared of the getting the rona, but chose a more upscale place just to stay clear of the masses.

When we got to the restaurant, we were greeted at the door by a masked hostess. All the employees were wearing masks and rubber gloves. When we were seated, the hostess place our menus on the table with a long pair of tongs that she pulled from a holster she had strapped to her hip. The water boy came by and place two glasses of water on the table with a set of tong that he drew from a hip holster.

Our waiter came to take out drink order and proceed to tell us that part of the restaurants new operating procedure, is that nothing that passed to a customer is touch by human hands. As we glanced around the restaurant we saw every employee with the same holster with a long pair of tongs.

Some of the waiters were very skilled with the tong; drawing them from their holsters with the speed of a master gunfighter. Nothing, I mean nothing, was touch by human hands.

Our food arrived and the chef came out personally to bring our steaks. He had multiple holsters, and gold plated tongs in each. He flipped our steaks up in the air and drew his tongs with lightning speed and place them on our plates with the precision of a surgeon. We were really amazed by it all.

The food was some of the best we had ever had and everyone in the restaurant seemed to be enjoying the exhibition of tongmanship. After our meal, the manager came by and place our bill on the table with.... you guested it, a pair of tongs.

While waiting on the hostess to return our credit card, the chef came back to the table too see if we were satisfied with our meals. We gave it five stars and told him how delighted we were with their new policies. We continued to chat, making small talk while we made our way to the door. About then my wife notice a piece of string sticking out of the chefs pants. She nudged me a pointed it out. I polity leaned in and told him about it so as to not draw any attention to it.

He said "oh that, that is also part of out new policy". The string is tied around my manhood so I don't have to touch it when I go to the restroom. I said "well, how do you put it back in?"

He said " WITH THE TONGS "..........

Last edited by Hoggslayer; 05-16-2020 at 11:34 AM.
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Old 05-16-2020, 11:24 AM   #2
TxSon1836
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that's hilarious


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Old 05-16-2020, 11:31 AM   #3
Landrover
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Bwahahaha......cute!

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Old 05-16-2020, 11:38 AM   #4
clay4626
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Well what about the female personal I guess they take the thong's and
use one of those cup funnels I needed a good laugh
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Old 05-16-2020, 11:44 AM   #5
sailor
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Thanks, for the Saturday smile...……...
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Old 05-16-2020, 12:03 PM   #6
DRT
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Gary
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Old 05-16-2020, 12:11 PM   #7
careybirdwell
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Lol
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Old 05-16-2020, 12:20 PM   #8
dfkoon
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Old 05-16-2020, 12:23 PM   #9
Rick
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I think we will see a lot of ridiculous stuff like this. I also don't think it is because the restaurant really thinks it is safer, but it is because the business (restaurant or other) wants people to think they are being proactive about protecting you. All the Karen's will love it, and people that think it is stupid will shrug and put up with it. It is more about appearances than really doing anything.
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Old 05-16-2020, 12:26 PM   #10
Hoggslayer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick View Post
I think we will see a lot of ridiculous stuff like this. I also don't think it is because the restaurant really thinks it is safer, but it is because the business (restaurant or other) wants people to think they are being proactive about protecting you. All the Karen's will love it, and people that think it is stupid will shrug and put up with it. It is more about appearances than really doing anything.
Yep...... SMH
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Old 05-16-2020, 01:03 PM   #11
gatorgar
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Made me laugh


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Old 05-16-2020, 01:17 PM   #12
Texas Grown
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Good one Jay!


Note to self: when I finally go back out, avoid places serving with tongs.
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Old 05-16-2020, 01:19 PM   #13
Tedshell
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��
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Old 05-16-2020, 01:53 PM   #14
Fishndude
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Face palm. I want my 2 minutes back.
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Old 05-16-2020, 01:54 PM   #15
basskicker24
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Hahahahaha.


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Old 05-16-2020, 01:55 PM   #16
Neck
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LOL! Got me.
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Old 05-16-2020, 02:03 PM   #17
Hoggslayer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishndude View Post
Face palm. I want my 2 minutes back.
LOL. Its got to be better than hearing how some guy isn't going to buy a new Ford.
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Old 05-16-2020, 02:21 PM   #18
manwitaplan
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Lol. Got me also.


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Old 05-16-2020, 02:22 PM   #19
twosixteens
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If I would have eaten there I would never eat a steak again. Sure am glad I didnt eat there.
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Old 05-16-2020, 04:36 PM   #20
Matt_C
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Good one sir.
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Old 05-16-2020, 07:42 PM   #21
fish4food
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoggslayer View Post
LOL. Its got to be better than hearing how some guy isn't going to buy a new Ford.
Haha

I agree Sir
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Old 05-16-2020, 08:20 PM   #22
CabezaBlanca
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoggslayer View Post
LOL. Its got to be better than hearing how some guy isn't going to buy a new Ford.
For sure!
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Old 05-17-2020, 09:10 AM   #23
Hoggslayer
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I met some friends for coffee this morning and I had them rolling with this joke.
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Old 05-17-2020, 09:30 AM   #24
BUCKSTAR
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Hilarious
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Old 05-17-2020, 10:28 AM   #25
Trevor73402
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I think its all absoultley ridiculous. I hope that it fades quickly in the next month or so. And as it was said above, its not because they really think it's doing anything to save lives. Its just for the appearance and show of it all.
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Old 05-17-2020, 11:56 AM   #26
Briar Friar
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Dang funny.
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Old 05-17-2020, 12:01 PM   #27
Hoggslayer
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Its threads like this that demonstrate people's reading stamina. Those that lack it never get to the punchline. LOL

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Old 05-17-2020, 12:01 PM   #28
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Old 06-23-2020, 07:29 AM   #29
Hoggslayer
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We went to dinner last night and they placed the rolls on our plate with tongs. My wife said "if they use those tongs for anything else, I'm leaving". I about died.
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Old 06-23-2020, 07:49 AM   #30
NYBowman
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🤣🤣🤣🤣love it you had me going but good👍🏼🤣🤣🤣
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Old 06-23-2020, 07:55 AM   #31
Shurshot
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Good one!


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Old 06-23-2020, 08:00 AM   #32
SwampRanger
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Had me going
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Old 06-23-2020, 08:19 AM   #33
Tony Pic
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Good one.
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Old 06-23-2020, 12:26 PM   #34
be12hunt
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Hahaha nice.
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Old 06-23-2020, 12:35 PM   #35
GeorgeP6506
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I will have to remember that one!!!
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Old 06-23-2020, 12:59 PM   #36
wsteffen
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Loved it. With your story telling, some one may think that you are related to Chew.
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Old 06-23-2020, 01:08 PM   #37
AntlerCollector
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That was a long drive but worth the trip. Well played
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Old 06-23-2020, 01:11 PM   #38
meltingfeather
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lol
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Old 06-23-2020, 01:14 PM   #39
Reaper
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Thats great thanks for sharing
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Old 06-23-2020, 01:21 PM   #40
breederbuck33
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I was intrigued by the "tongmanship"! I think those little throw away chop sticks might be more fitting for putting the equipment back up.
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Old 06-23-2020, 01:43 PM   #41
Hoggslayer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wsteffen View Post
Loved it. With your story telling, some one may think that you are related to Chew.
I don't really know how to fill about that one.
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