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Old 10-03-2019, 07:11 PM   #1
HuntForHorns
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Default The freakiest thing just happened.

Unless you are a vet I bet you haven't heard of or seen this before. I am sitting at my desk on my computer and out of the corner of my eye I see my 6 month old miniature dachshund humping his stuffed bunny.

A couple minutes later I look down and see 6 inches of dachshund lipstick hitting the floor. He is standing and it is touching the floor. I thought it was funny at first but then after about 5 minutes of him not moving a muscle I realized I had a problem.

I started googling... what if your dog cant retract his penis? Believe it or not it is a thing.

I could tell he was in pain and I figured I was headed to the vet. It was out so far that there are two little nut things that had come out and couldn't get back in. I finally decided I had better try to help or head to the vet.

I very gently tried to get the bulges back into the skin. He yelped once and it started to retract. Thank God.

He laid there for another 20 minutes before it went completely back in but he seems to be fine now. He is running around like a man with a new purpose!

I know you guys are going to say... "pics or it didn't happen". Well, there are probably laws against it somewhere so I will refrain.

I did get a picture of the bunny so you guys can decide if she was worth it!
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:14 PM   #2
nursejenn
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Ok... I canít help it. Poor little fella.
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:15 PM   #3
marshhunter
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This thread could go down in history..

Iím thinking he was trying to assert his dominance on that bunny and hump it till it peed.


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Old 10-03-2019, 07:17 PM   #4
boh347
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it’d be funny if someone walked in while you had his red rocket in your hand. Can you imagine
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:19 PM   #5
tex4k
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Had a rooster once that raped whatever came into his pen, couple of soccer kicks that ricocheted him around the pen like a racquetball in play cured him of such bad habits. Not making recommendations just so you can be well informed should a decision require immediate action.
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:19 PM   #6
slicktricker
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Lmao
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:20 PM   #7
red
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Rodney Carrington: "maybe youre sharin too much"
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:21 PM   #8
asttbe
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I read somewhere you are just supposed to hump the dog until it pees. That fixes it




And honestly The Vet thing threw me off. I saw some crazy things in the Corps but that wasn't one of them lol
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:22 PM   #9
bobc
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That doesnít sound pleasant.


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Old 10-03-2019, 07:24 PM   #10
Pineywoods
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Is that a weiner dog?
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:29 PM   #11
Smart
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"If you have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours, get medical help right away. If it is not treated right away, priapism can permanently damage your lipstick......"
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:29 PM   #12
Trevor73402
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If you have been in the dog breeding business, you’ve most likely encountered a situation like this. I have. Especially when electronically collecting semen from a male to perform an AI on a female English bulldog.
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:49 PM   #13
Jspradley
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Wait...6 inches???
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:51 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevor73402 View Post
If you have been in the dog breeding business, youíve most likely encountered a situation like this. I have. Especially when electronically collecting semen from a male to perform an AI on a female English bulldog.
My...um...neighbor wants to know if that machine works on humans
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:52 PM   #15
whitetailtrail
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In for the historic thread!!
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:56 PM   #16
AlaskaFlyerFan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineywoods View Post
Is that a weiner dog?
I see what you did there!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jspradley View Post
Wait...6 inches???
Don't be jealous!
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:56 PM   #17
miket
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That sucker would have been on his own around here......
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Old 10-03-2019, 07:58 PM   #18
jds247
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I'm sure you know this but those two things is what makes the dogs get stuck together when they hump.. lmao
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:01 PM   #19
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I have friends that have told me once they got a wiener dog they had to hide the stuffed animals

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Old 10-03-2019, 08:02 PM   #20
CEO
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This thread will bring a whole new group of people around once the search engine picks it up.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:02 PM   #21
ctom87
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You missing any little blue pills??
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:03 PM   #22
Grizzly1
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Get him a cigarette and a cold beverage!
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:08 PM   #23
mechhead
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Lilí fellar from Nantucket???
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:09 PM   #24
hogslayer78
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Yep! Has the making to join the classic threads lmao never imagined I would read about a wiener dog sexually assaulting a stuffed rabbit and then there was pics of the rabbit😂😂😂😂🐇🐇🐇
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:11 PM   #25
talltexasshoote
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the rabbit seems like it needs some sort of cuddle or sanitizer or both
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:15 PM   #26
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Well...dressed like that the rabbit was asking for it.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:18 PM   #27
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:25 PM   #28
okrattler
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Science Diet must be merging with Viagra to treat erectile dysfunction in canines.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:26 PM   #29
Johnny Dangerr
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That would of been hard..................
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:30 PM   #30
6.5CM
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Lol
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:32 PM   #31
cricman
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Lemme guess; instead of getting up and making that stud a sandwich, that ungrateful bunny just laid there!



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Old 10-03-2019, 08:34 PM   #32
Rotney
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Did the wabbit pee
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:38 PM   #33
Grittydog
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You never wondered why dogs get locked up? Now you know

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Old 10-03-2019, 08:40 PM   #34
stickerpatch59
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TMI, TMI; but that is a cute bunny so who can blame him?
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:42 PM   #35
NannySlayer
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Hole-lee-schit. This just happened.


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Old 10-03-2019, 08:44 PM   #36
HuntForHorns
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jds247 View Post
I'm sure you know this but those two things is what makes the dogs get stuck together when they hump.. lmao
It is so funny you say this. I havent seen two dogs stuck together since i was 10 years old. I never did know what caused that. 40 yrs later I get the answer.

That was what was keeping it from going back in.

I am expecting someone on here, maybe a vet, to tell me it would have been alright by itself after an hour or two but I had 30 minutes before I needed to leave for my son's choir performance at school. I had to do something or take him to the vet.

I was very worried and am glad it worked out without any more pain for him or a trip to the vet.

I hope he has learned his lesson but I doubt it.
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:50 PM   #37
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That dog will never stop following you around now. "Come on dad, give me a hand. You did it before."
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Old 10-03-2019, 08:57 PM   #38
HotRod Hunter
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And you say that dog sleeps in your bed. I’d sleep with one eye open
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:03 PM   #39
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The look on that little dogs face says a lot given that we know what just happened......
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:05 PM   #40
Drycreek3189
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And I thought my JRT was nutty for trying to hump the cat.......
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:07 PM   #41
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Man’s best friend for sure now!
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:07 PM   #42
HuntForHorns
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I think he was pretty scared while it was going on but he looked pretty relaxed after it was all over. I think he was sleeping it off!
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:11 PM   #43
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He is feistier than ever tonight, but he is a little embarrassed after reading a few of these replies.
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:15 PM   #44
Txbownut
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Your bunny left a wet spot.
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:18 PM   #45
Texas Grown
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So, your "wiener" dog stuffed a stuffed rabbit? Just living up to his "breed's" name I guess.
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:20 PM   #46
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Ain’t giving a dog a reach around. Nope, not happening
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:23 PM   #47
Artos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smart View Post
"If you have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours, get medical help right away. If it is not treated right away, priapism can permanently damage your lipstick......"
4 HOURS??

Not sure it's me who's gonna need to see the doc...
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:27 PM   #48
Calrob
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Aint been around animals long, have you?
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Old 10-03-2019, 09:27 PM   #49
Quackerbox
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Dang, that's beast mode!!!

Bunny got a black eye

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Old 10-03-2019, 09:28 PM   #50
IvoryRoot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilgrim View Post
Ainít giving a dog a reach around. Nope, not happening
Took the words right out of my mouth.
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