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Old 09-30-2019, 09:38 PM   #201
Marco
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Originally Posted by AggieRod View Post
Agree 100%
Yall must not have kids?? Or dont love them...haha.
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Old 09-30-2019, 09:44 PM   #202
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Yall must not have kids?? Or dont love them...haha.
I have kids and am willing to help to a degree


I practice what I preach, though. I paid for 90% of mine. My parents pitched in for the rehearsal and her parents bought some wine. We hosted 200 people and had a great party but did it reasonably.

I love when parents host a big party. Those are fun weddings to attend. It just isn't reasonable for most folks. So many things should come first...like retirement, college, house, charity, health insurance, blah blah blah
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Old 09-30-2019, 10:07 PM   #203
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I love big weddings as long as I'm not paying.
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Old 09-30-2019, 10:15 PM   #204
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It all comes down to the mothers of the bride and groom. Weddings are mostly for the women folk and money isn't on their mind. I have two daughters, one got married in the Bahamas so I paid for their trip and wedding package plus three more for 7 days and the grooms mother paid for extra pictures. It is my understanding is a Hispanic wedding the groom pays for it.
Guess I’m screwed
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Old 09-30-2019, 10:16 PM   #205
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I was 32 years old when I got married. My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. I paid for everything else. My father in law wrote a check to my dad to help out with the rehearsal dinner. Never offered me a dime and I never asked. We had a nice wedding but not over the top.


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Old 09-30-2019, 10:23 PM   #206
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FTR, I have a business associate who, it’s rumored, spent about $500k on his only daughter’s wedding. He could afford it, but why?


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I have a friend who found out her fiancé was cheating on her about 5 months before their wedding. She wanted to call it off and her dad told her “not to embarrass him with his friends and colleagues like that”. He paid a couple hundred k for their wedding and reception. Paid for her to have an apartment for a year after they were married and then she got divorced. It was a really awkward wedding knowing what was going on but it was fancy and there was lots of top shelf booze
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Old 09-30-2019, 10:37 PM   #207
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Originally Posted by hooligan View Post
I have a friend who found out her fiancé was cheating on her about 5 months before their wedding. She wanted to call it off and her dad told her “not to embarrass him with his friends and colleagues like that”. He paid a couple hundred k for their wedding and reception. Paid for her to have an apartment for a year after they were married and then she got divorced. It was a really awkward wedding knowing what was going on but it was fancy and there was lots of top shelf booze
That's insane. Dad of the Year material, huh? Wow.
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Old 09-30-2019, 10:52 PM   #208
cantexduck
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We got married 7 years ago. Wedding was @11k with about 250 people. In-laws bought the dress , my mom gave us 2200 and my grandparents gave us @3k. In hind sight it was about 6k too much in expenses. We did all the flowers our selves and I had a very good price on food. I don’t remember much from the wedding , too much stress I guess. I really hope my two daughters understand when it comes time . I would much rather help with a down payment on a house then to hand them 10k plus for a wedding.
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Old 09-30-2019, 11:00 PM   #209
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Getting married this Saturday. Her grandmother paid for most of the wedding. Her dad paid for just the DJ which at the point Is still a sore subject with me. My parents paid for rehearsal dinner, all wedding dinner, and a bunch of other small things. And my soon to be wife paid half her dress and we paid for bridesmaids and groomsmen clothes. Personally I would split it that way there is no fighting in the end.
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Old 09-30-2019, 11:26 PM   #210
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Fair is half and half and avoid all future headaches

Last edited by RiverRat00; 09-30-2019 at 11:28 PM.
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Old 10-01-2019, 12:31 AM   #211
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Originally Posted by jooger17 View Post
I paid for everything on mine. Wedding, ring, her dress, rehearsal dinner, reception, and the **** honeymoon! She hasn’t stopped freeloading ever since lol.
Having met you as well as having seen photos of your better half, you’re still waaaaaaay ahead in that deal
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Old 10-01-2019, 11:51 AM   #212
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Mail order brides from China don't need big weddings.
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Old 10-01-2019, 12:42 PM   #213
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My opinion is if you pay 1/2 you should have say up front in the cost. Not after the fact. That said, 10K is still a lot of money, but not in the extravagant range. Does that include splitting the rehearsal and honeymoon?
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Old 10-01-2019, 12:53 PM   #214
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We got married long ago (1985) and were the first of my college friends to marry. Ours was the traditional 'bride's family pays for wedding, groom's for rehearsal'.
Shortly after we married, the now common 'tradition' of the reception DINNER started up (for ours, there was cake and visiting and that's it - it was what everyone did). So, wedding costs started sky-rocketing when you have 'not fancy' dinners starting around $80/head.
So, I still think that the bride's family should pay for the entire wedding (flowers, invitations, etc.) because it is all about the bride. The groom's family pays the rehearsal dinner. The reception dinner, if there is one, should be split based on what percentage each side invites.
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Old 10-01-2019, 01:23 PM   #215
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I have three boys.

Im sticking with the traditional route Depending on what bride wants and how fancy she wants it, brides family pays. Now my folks did pay for the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon.

My lovely bride and her family (well the women in her family)..wanted a fairy tale wedding and reception. Which it was for her. Her Dad wanted to give us 10,000 in cash, AND was gonna pay to take us all to Vegas.

In unison , the women yelled from other room..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Keep in mind, he had just married off my wife's sister about a year earlier, and was still recovering mentally/financially .

Now.......Im gonna buck up, and go all out at Luby's for the rehearsal dinners though, because that is the kind of man I am.
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Old 10-01-2019, 01:30 PM   #216
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Wife and I got married year and a half ago. We paid for it all ourselves. We didn’t do the bridal showers, wedding rehearsal, cocktail hour, dinner rehearsal, blah blah blah. That was ridiculous to us and way too much money.

It was a day WE’RE getting married, not putting on a show for everyone to see. We only had our family and close friends, spent very little money on it, and had the time of our lives. People need to seriously stop spending so much money on one day. It’s supposed to be a special day, not turn it into carnival.
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Old 10-01-2019, 01:46 PM   #217
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Well said
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Old 10-01-2019, 02:39 PM   #218
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Tell him forget about getting married I will pay for us a hunting trip with that money it’s going to cost for a wedding lol .
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Old 10-01-2019, 02:57 PM   #219
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My parents paid for rehearsal and hers paid for the reception. The cost of each was probably within $1000 of each other. We did the wedding in a public park, which sounds terrible, but it was on some bluffs with the ocean in the background and cost us like $50 to rent plus the cost of chair rentals.

Honestly, the determining factor should be who's limited and what's expected. If one set of in-laws has almost no money but both the couple and the other in-laws have high expectations and money, you can't bankrupt the broke parents just because you want more. If both parents are equally "of means", I'd lean towards a traditional approach.

Every situation is different and should be handled differently.
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Old 10-01-2019, 03:01 PM   #220
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I have 2 boys, and I pray they seek a wife that is similar to their mother. A ton of common sense, and good with money. Otherwise, they are not going to like the budget that we give them.

What I don't get is, how can a couple that has good jobs, and has been shacking up for several years, have a wedding shower? Shouldn't they already have a crock pot by now?
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Old 10-01-2019, 10:07 PM   #221
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Originally Posted by BrianL View Post
My opinion is if you pay 1/2 you should have say up front in the cost. Not after the fact. That said, 10K is still a lot of money, but not in the extravagant range. Does that include splitting the rehearsal and honeymoon?
No. I still cover the rehearsal. Honeymoon is on my son and his fiancée
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Old 10-01-2019, 10:16 PM   #222
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You know I talked over breakfast this morning with my account man. He says he’s seen a dude spend 500,000...I suppose it happens. I still can’t really understand it did common folk
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Old 10-02-2019, 09:55 AM   #223
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Just pay what you are comfortable paying, shouldn’t put yourself in a bind. Or that’s what I’ll do. If someone raises a “princess”, they should be prepared to pay for a princess wedding.


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Old 10-02-2019, 10:08 AM   #224
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Originally Posted by Kingfisher789 View Post
You know I talked over breakfast this morning with my account man. He says he’s seen a dude spend 500,000...I suppose it happens. I still can’t really understand it did common folk
As I mentioned earlier I dated a girl who was a wedding/event planner. She has seen couples spend over $1,000,000.00 on a wedding. She wouldn't even consider doing a wedding that was less than $100k
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Old 10-02-2019, 08:23 PM   #225
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Originally Posted by hooligan View Post
I have a friend who found out her fiancé was cheating on her about 5 months before their wedding. She wanted to call it off and her dad told her “not to embarrass him with his friends and colleagues like that”. He paid a couple hundred k for their wedding and reception. Paid for her to have an apartment for a year after they were married and then she got divorced. It was a really awkward wedding knowing what was going on but it was fancy and there was lots of top shelf booze


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Originally Posted by Shane View Post
That's insane. Dad of the Year material, huh? Wow.


Yeah....I’d have done that differently. Way, way differently.


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Old 10-02-2019, 08:34 PM   #226
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Yeah....I’d have done that differently. Way, way differently.


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Like heavy equipment and a alibi different?


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Old 10-02-2019, 08:35 PM   #227
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Like heavy equipment and a alibi different?


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Me no sabe.....


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Old 10-02-2019, 08:40 PM   #228
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I hope the best to all in this situation and please accept my request for forgiveness. If families are typical, minimal cash is available and usually there are needs not yet met. If abundance, who cares but is a rare ability. I would cough up a little extra if someone could handle my! Enough said. Truly prayers up with support and emphasis on it lasting. This subject is taken so lightly. Young folks need to know we mean the best but please be reasonable. Other needs get overlooked in the emotions. Enjoy. Be frugal. Be wise! God Bless.
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Old 10-02-2019, 08:41 PM   #229
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I dont know. Traditionally the grooms parents dont care anything about an elaborate wedding so they are not going to want to pay for much. Also, The groom usually doesnt have much say in what happens and what is spent. So that is why the bride and her family paid for most of the wedding since they are the ones that care about the details and venue. Most guys would marry their woman anywhere with anyone watching. Backyard BBQ in jeans and button up. Basically the bride has all the say because its her "dream" wedding and the grooms parents dont feel they should pay an excess of hard earned money for one event that most people wont remember much about. The grooms parents should say we are going to contribute "X" amount and thats all we can do.
Reiterating the truth to this.

Also, there's a big difference between being the big(ger) person and saying, 'hey, if this is going to be expensive, let us help out more than just the dinner. We'll get the photography, or the food...or <insert whatever>' and someone telling me that I HAVE to do something because that's 'how it is now.' I'm going to have a totally reasonable challenge for that. Especially if I'm the groom or the father of the groom.
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Old 10-02-2019, 08:44 PM   #230
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Originally Posted by Palmetto View Post
I have 2 boys, and I pray they seek a wife that is similar to their mother. A ton of common sense, and good with money. Otherwise, they are not going to like the budget that we give them.

What I don't get is, how can a couple that has good jobs, and has been shacking up for several years, have a wedding shower? Shouldn't they already have a crock pot by now?
Yep. And should now be bringing Pop some roast from that crock of! Bull sounds good. Didnt I just fix a car?
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Old 10-02-2019, 08:53 PM   #231
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I know, I have a violin I never learned to play. I can be the music as a choice for entertainment expense. Than I can do my 66 year old rap with my RCA turned way up. Maybe I can just stay home if I offer all this. All in fun. Mariage is special. Hope again it lasts. Plus nice to have a preacher friend or like me a Reverand Brother who will legally do the ceromony for free! Man that hurts. I need to repay a few folks
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Old 10-02-2019, 08:54 PM   #232
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Palmetto View Post
I have 2 boys, and I pray they seek a wife that is similar to their mother. A ton of common sense, and good with money. Otherwise, they are not going to like the budget that we give them.

What I don't get is, how can a couple that has good jobs, and has been shacking up for several years, have a wedding shower? Shouldn't they already have a crock pot by now?
Yep. And should now be bringing Pop some roast from that crock of! Bull sounds good. Didnt I just fix a car?
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Old 10-02-2019, 08:56 PM   #233
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Sorry. Learning. Did mean to double post.
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Old 10-02-2019, 09:01 PM   #234
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I got married 8 years ago and this is how my wife decided how it was going down:

grooms mother: paid for rehearsal dinner
grooms father: paid for all the alcohol at the wedding/ceremony
brides father: paid for the venue
groom: paid for honeymoon
bride: paid for her own wedding dress

not saying this is how it has to be, but this is how it went down for us
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Old 10-02-2019, 09:22 PM   #235
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We own a venue and we've seen it every way possible on who pays. I was actually surprised getting into the business that its still predominantly the brides parents paying most of it. We get older couples alot that pay for themselves and they recognize the value of ours over other venues. Definitely no absolutes but their assuming grooms family will split without discussion is pretty bad though.

The 250-300 person weddings are a bit over the top I think, 150 seems to be a good number
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Old 10-02-2019, 09:36 PM   #236
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I got married in February 2016. My wife’s parents insisted they pay for the wedding/reception. My parents paid for the photographer/rehearsal/alcohol... they then split the 10 day honeymoon expenses. We were definitely blessed in so many ways. It’s a gift that we can never be grateful enough for.
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Old 10-03-2019, 03:17 PM   #237
toledo
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Decide how much you can afford and give it to the couple to spend however they like. Removes you from the drama.
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Old 10-03-2019, 03:33 PM   #238
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Elope!
Yup. If my wife & I had to do it over again we both agree we would've eloped and taken a bad arse vacation.
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Old 10-03-2019, 04:45 PM   #239
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Yeah....I’d have done that differently. Way, way differently.


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Yeah he’s a ***** 100% what was best was after their “departure” in a horse drawn carriage she came back without him and partied with us the rest of the night. That kid had kicked so far out of his coverage it was in another world and he still screwed it up
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Old 10-03-2019, 06:02 PM   #240
toomuchsun
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I was a redneck hippy. She was/is similar to me. 1972. Wanted little and had little to offer. Just get it done. Lots of pics. food, Fancy set up and clothes. Big gathering. I was so glad when we could haul axx. Went to SA and chilled. Than back to work, fishing etc. So much is done with good intent but sometimes "for others desires" than the ones it is designated to honor being the Bride and Groom. Be sure the couple is not being shoved into more than they want. It did kinda of ruin it for me but she did enloy the hoopla and I still love her and with her today so glad she got that. And I respect what In Laws and others wanted. So all is good. I often wish I would have been a bit more cooperative. Live and learn. God is good.
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Old 10-03-2019, 06:12 PM   #241
glen
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If they are not going on a honeymoon then I would split it. If they are then pay for the rehearsal and the honeymoon.
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