School situation with my 12 yr old

[RiverRat1]

I held off on commenting as long as I could. Its not impossible if the teachers are where they are supposed to be. MY 2 grandkids went to private church school for 4 yrs, the grandson kept getting bullied on the playground and at recess, the teachers that were supposed to be watching them were all at the picnic tables with their backs to the kiddos. My daughter in law sat in the parking lot and video taped this! After many many times of the grandson telling the teachers and mom talking to the principal nothing was done, that's when she showed the video. I realize they can't watch every step of every day, but they could make an effort to do better. The gkids no longer attend this school. They are much happier.

I'm sure a lot of teachers could do better but most really do care. My wife has 20 kids in her class. You ever been in a room with 20 6 year olds? And then recess @#%#$% You ever try to watch 80 6 year olds? It's not the teachers fault they are not given enough time during the day and alternate recess duty. It's not their fault they can't discipline the kids. And when they report anything guess what happens...Yep, the teacher gets more work in the form of reports and action plans for that kid. It's simply stupid. No way humanly possible for a teacher to do their job 100% right. They would work 18 hour days.

[KUJays]

Went thru something similar a couple of years ago. Son was in 7th grade, kid always tried to provoke him and his buddies while outside playing. No matter what they were playing the kid would stand just outside of the group, wait for an opportunity to grab the ball and throw it over the fence. After that the game was over for the rest of there outside time. They started a rotation each day where one of them would not participate in the game with the simple responsibility of keeping the kid from stealing the ball. Had reported to teachers for quite awhile but no action. On my son's day the kid of course tried to get the ball, son confronted him and kid pushed him. Son pushed him back and teachers swarmed. No punches thrown. Son and kid were both suspended for 3 days. I was cited 0 tolerance. 1st day back son witnessed a kid punch a kid in the head in front of a teacher just to get a verbal warning. We were new to town and to be honest felt like it was a who you know type thing in regards to 0 tolerance being followed. Regardless there were many great lessons learned and not to big of a deal to learn them in 7th grade. Good view of how the world works, rather him learn it now.

[DTH]

If you have any documentation with the teacher's/school that this has been going on and if nothing has been done on their end up to this point then you got them where you want them and could fight it. If it ends up being a he said/she said situation then your son will unfortunately have to face the consequences.

[Mudslinger]

The vast majority of teachers do care, but I have seen some that did not need to be teaching!

[RiverRat1]

The vast majority of teachers do care, but I have seen some that did not need to be teaching!

That sure is true.

For the people that say "the teacher didn't do anything" What exactly do you think the teacher can do?

I agree the whole thing is messed up but from what I've seen it's almost all the school bureaucracy BS that's the problem. And you can most likely blame your local liberal for this crap.

[eaglegolfj]

Man I sure miss back in the day when two kids could meet behind the school and go toe to toe. To much political correctness now, and if you can make it behind the school it is hard to be a one on one fight anymore. We use to do it all the time then we would be hanging out with each other the next day. Just saying

[Burnadell]

Good grief!

Whatever happened to the good old days when the coach/teacher/whoever gave the kids boxing gloves and let them settle their arguments in the gym??? Parents and school administrators have become pantywaists and pansys!

[fishinguy]

First thing to always do in these situation is have good documentation and make sure the school is included. I would email the principle every time there is an event concerning the other student so there is a sufficient paper trail. In the event something happens that will be proper evidence that the school was aware of the issue. Also if you get sued this will help your case.

[jer_james]

Good grief!

Whatever happened to the good old days when the coach/teacher/whoever gave the kids boxing gloves and let them settle their arguments in the gym??? Parents and school administrators have become pantywaists and pansys!

I'm just curious, but back in yalls day everybody was the same size with the same physical capabilities?

Seems like that could put a few kids at a disadvantage.

[Dakota7493]

Until you take the job of being a teacher, you really don't have a clue on what it's like or what goes down. Much like me not knowing what it takes to do a police officers or firefighter job. So me throwing out how they should do their jobs really doesn't mean all that much. And yes, there are bad teachers just like any other profession but it's a profession that's losing it's grounds due to crappy pay and the politics that we are speaking of. Most new teachers are out of the profession before the first five years. I wanted to get out after my first year, I was stressed out but I'm now in year 19. It's not simply watching a kid on the playground.

I know you have kids and you want only the best for them and to protect them. Write your reps or congress and ask them to lower the classroom caps and not only would you get better education for your kids you'd have better monitoring due to less kids which most of you seem to think is the problem here.

[Dale Moser]

I'm just curious, but back in yalls day everybody was the same size with the same physical capabilities?

Seems like that could put a few kids at a disadvantage.

100% of the time, one of the people in a fight is at a disadvantage....usually the one who thinks fights are supposed to be "fair".

[gigem95]

A lot of good points made. One thing I haven’t heard mentioned...be prepared for parents of bully to be very indignant and say their angel would never do anything like that. In fact, they may turn things around and say your kid is the bully. This may be why teachers and administrators are sometimes reluctant to deal with it. They know what’s coming.


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[RR 314]

100% of the time, one of the people in a fight is at a disadvantage....usually the one who thinks fights are supposed to be "fair".

Haaaaa. Yessir! Sometimes when you don’t think you are going to make it you just need to get mean. I mean plumb, mad dog mean. :-)

[Hoggslayer]

If I were you, I'd go in with a healthy dose of humility. Whether you like it or not, your kid was wrong and, as you pointed out, needed to keep his cool. Point out what you believe led your kid to that point, but take responsibility for his actions in spite of the way it was started. Had he connected and hurt the kid, you likely wouldn't be afforded an opportunity for this meeting. Be thankful you're getting it.

I hope that doesn't sound like a tiptoe around the issue, but guns blazing often results in returned fire. Don't subject yourself and your kid to that.

These green screen guys are pretty smart. Not what a old school Dad wants to here, but solid advice. Gone are the days that we could just take care of business out behind the wood shop. Sadly, I mess those days.

[jer_james]

100% of the time, one of the people in a fight is at a disadvantage....usually the one who thinks fights are supposed to be "fair".

Funny / sad story about one of my very good friends. We are at a party having fun. He talks to the right/wrong girl. Said girl's boyfriend gets upset and they go outside. Fight ensues and buddy form tackles him and jumps on him just pummeling him. The guy on his back reached up and stuck his thumb in my friends' eye and grabbed his cheek with his fingers. Completely changed the outcome of what happened. I got him before it turned horrible.

We used to have a sort of code, but after that, bets were off. After seeing his eye that evening and for the ongoing weeks it was understood that the fight game had changed, lol.