6th Grader Rant

[glen]

Kids do get too old to whip. I ground mine for short periods. And I mean grounded. Nothing but food and water. No phone, no outside, no contact from outside 4 walls for a couple days. It ain’t fun as a parent as you are also grounded. I usually just sit and read a book and he stares at me. Then I tell him to go to sleep when it is time- Repeat the next day if needed

[Marco]

I've got four girls, so you're preaching to the choir about hormones. I don't have boys, but I was one. The overall pissy attitude is probably normal. The disrespect is not. Disrespect is something that you should have zero tolerance for. If he hates his life now, he'd really hate it when I took away Select Baseball, electronics, free time and anything else he enjoys. 12 years old is old enough to handle punishment more severe than a spanking. Let him suffer real consequences and I bet you'll see real results. My girls gotta get tuned up every now and then. They fight and argue, smart mouth their momma a little bit, complain about teachers, etc. When I declare ZERO TOLERANCE, they know that I mean it. The twins are 14 and went the month of February without their beloved phones. It almost killed them, but it didn't bother me in the least. I'm not here to make them like me. I'm here to make sure the rest of the world can like them. Be firm. That is one of the things I appreciate the most about my own dad...his unwillingness to bend his expectations for his children.

All that said, parenting is hard. All parents and kids are different and whatever advice you get will probably be things that you already know. Good luck.

4 girls!!!!!!! You are a tough man bro. Way to be firm with them. The way I see it is if my dad wasn't tough on me I'd be locked up or worse..

[Marco]

Kids do get too old to whip. I ground mine for short periods. And I mean grounded. Nothing but food and water. No phone, no outside, no contact from outside 4 walls for a couple days. It ain’t fun as a parent as you are also grounded. I usually just sit and read a book and he stares at me. Then I tell him to go to sleep when it is time- Repeat the next day if needed

I think you are correct BUT if you do it right at a younger age you dont have to when they are older. That being said if my 26 year old talks **** to me I will put him on his *** like I did when he was a kid. You might be too old for a spanking but never too old for an *** whoopin!

[jerp]

That can be a tough age - a confluence of hormonal storms and trying to figure out where you fit in, combined with immaturity and very little self-awareness. The only stretch of my childhood that I was a problem for my parents was 6th-7th grade. Smart mouth, lazy at school and when doing chores, mean to my sisters, etc. We went through the same thing to some degree with our boys at that age. I think the most important thing a parent can do is keep an even keel throughout this phase. You can't ignore the bad behavior but you must resist the temptation to over-react. Occasional and judicious use of corporal punishment may help but beating them into submission is not the answer. (sounds like you know that) Try to keep a "this too will pass" attitude while enforcing core values and watching for clues there may be a deeper problem like depression.

[rladner]

I understand hormones but disrespect .hell naw...

oh, its not tolerated. But it does help to know I'm not actually raising such a punk kid. Beneath the hormones, when he comes out the other side of puberty, he will know right from wrong. He knows it now, it just clouds his judgement and effects his moods. We are quick to remind him, especially my wife, that disrespect is not tolerated and he finds himself in trouble. But, I realize the hormones are affecting his "decision" making. He's a good kid, just like the OP, but right now he's not making the best choices. We will not let up, but again, it is not something ingrained in his DNA that is causing this. It is a phase and will pass...........someday

[Hooverfb]

I think you are correct BUT if you do it right at a younger age you dont have to when they are older. That being said if my 26 year old talks **** to me I will put him on his *** like I did when he was a kid. You might be too old for a spanking but never too old for an *** whoopin!

Yup lol. Got to a point eventually in middle school where the belt was not as effective as grounding. I still got the belt none the less, but yeah. Sounds like your son is growing, but might just be a different kind of thinker. I know I'm like this, where I can be negative for no reason, but I know its partially cause I use that to focus on problems etc. Unfortunately I can make it a habit /pattern of thinking rather than just a tool to knock out problems. Sounds like your kid is smart and driven, could just be that personality plus going through puberty. I dunno that my dad did anything special to help me,just kept being dad and I learned by his example of caring but still disciplining. So dont give that up,but make sure your example of how you act and behave helps him out.

[meltingfeather]

Sounds tough... and also fairly normal.

[MBV77]

https://youtu.be/uh6T4LDzKm8

Does he act like this? This fits my 8th grader to a T!


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[gingib]

Or possibly being a spoiled brat. Seems like everything else he is great at. I'm by no means a professional at this sort of thing but disrespect to parent and elders requires a whooping. Of course doctors will try everything else including meds. The way I see it he is kicking butt in everything else so maybe he just needs an "adjustment". I have to kids that were the same way and every now and again they received therapy "adjustments" as needed starting at the age of 2 year olds. Both still great kids and never would they ever even consider being disrespectful to me or their mom. One is 26 in med school and the other is about to graduate HS. Good luck to you brother. Prayers to you and your family.

Stimulate his mind through his behind!!!!

worked on the one I have in College and works on my now 12 year old 6th grader.

I also talked to them about moods and let them know that no matter what mood they are in, it is no excuse for being a Richard head...

Seems he doesn't want to do that EVEN though he said its been a proven method on him

[tex4k]

All of the above and add in that this is the age they are thrown in to the next bigger fish tank getting mixed into the middle school system and the 6th graders are low man on the totem pole with the other older bigger immature little jerks. Sometimes it's just tough being a kid.

[jds247]

Get him checked for depression. I fought it at that age. To the point I wanted to kill myself.. sometimes beating them isnt the answer. He may have problems at school he is afraid to talk about . Bullies etc.. he may not know how to respond and is lashing out.. we went through it with my oldest. Hes always said yes sir yes ma'am etc.. we finally sat him down and he was being picking on at school .. he told us he had a plan to kill himself .. it was tough to here as a parent..

[TxAg]

https://youtu.be/uh6T4LDzKm8

Does he act like this? This fits my 8th grader to a T!


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Haha true

[fbchunter]

I think there is lots of good advice. All kids are different. That being said, I believe spanking works, but if it isn’t administered consistently and at a young age, it would be tough to be start and be effective later. I firmly believe your kids must fear you to a point. I always was scared of my Dad, and it kept me from making bad decisions many times, seeing him in the back of my mind. If a healthy fear is developed at young ages, for the most part, physical punishment will no longer be needed later. My son is young, but I talk to him all the time about right and wrong choices and use other kids as examples, and rarely need spankings anymore. He sees it I truly believe he already understands, and looks at bratty kids like, “what the heck?” Id definitely explore mental health, and sit him down and talk to him, and often. Try small rewards with bigger ones at milestones, set goals, but also take things away from him that he loves. he needs to see cause and effect and consequences for actions. You must be consistent. You have got to somehow get him to realize he isn’t the boss and can’t talk or be disrespectful to his parents. You have got to dig deeper and find out what’s going on in his head, find out the way he works and thinks. That’s the only way you’ll be able to find out a solution.

[ShaBow]

Sounds like lots of 12 yo boys Ive heard about including mine and from what I hear from other parents with boys that age.Mine p's me and Mom off daily and gets consistent A** whoopings at this stage in his life. Lol!My older boy didn't go through it the same way so it is true that they are all different and require different parenting techniques.

[fbchunter]

Also I am just gonna say this. Try family Bible study, look online or talk to local pastors. Find studies and excersises you can do as a family. It will help you all grow together. I know it helps my young family to pray and talk about being accountable for our actions to God. To call each other out in a respectfull way and hold each other accountable.. Teaches compassion and forgiveness. Praying for you and your family to get through this rough patch and come out stronger