Letting your kids drink & curfew - survey and opinions please

[bphillips]

Your house your rules and you know your kids better than anyone else. Not all can handle the same situations.

I never had a curfew once I was in high school. I could come home at daylight if I wanted and my parents would get my beer for me if I asked. I was never anywhere without them knowing where I was and how I was getting back though. 99% of the time I was walking distance from my house. If something went down it was made clear I would deal with the consequences. This was also a town of 1200 people and I had sports in every season so it never got too crazy. Drinking and driving would have meant my vehicle disappeared

[TX03RUBI]

My dad gave me 3 rules:

Be on the field every Friday night

Don’t get anyone pregnant

Don’t go to jail or if you do I’m not coming to get you.

I like to think I turned out alright. I would imagine when I have kids I will do something similar.


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This was mine, but with the addition that I had to maintain straight As. I’d rather end up in jail than have a B. My mom would’ve been easier on me

[ByronB]

Just looking for input as we seem to be the worst parents on the planet. We have 2 sons, an 18 and 20 year old at home. The 20 year old has never been an issue on this but he was always under the wife's thumb. He graduated HS, went to college for a year an back at home due to bad decisions, ie, not waking up for class. He is more of a hermit, he works and stays to himself, living upstairs at home and seeing him in passing or meals.

Fast forward to our recent HS graduate, 4 years of Varsity baseball, very outgoing and hanging out with teammates and friends every night. He also has played on travel teams, and is doing so now before college.

Our dilemma is this, we mandate he be home by midnight each night. As usual, his buddies can stay out until 1-2am and they do a lot of drinking at parties and get togethers at various places. Ours has only had access to alcohol on 2 occassions, both were after parties after prom the last two years. Also, due to school being out, this activity started in April, there is always something going on every night.

I am just amazed at how many parents purchase alcohol for their kids, some travel to bars together and others purchase it for them while on travel trips for baseball. I would say half his teammates are furnished a 12 pack for the Friday-Sunday trips. We have 2 players from Louisiana, both are 17, that the parents order beer for them at dinner. I just don't get it?

The wife and I are both 52 years old, are we just too old fashion? Have times changed that much? What are your thoughts on this? Thanks in Advance.

WOW.....the whole paragraph concerning the supply of alcohol during tournament baseball takes me by surprise. My son played from age 8 - 18. Even during our week long tournament trips when they were older.....say 16-18, they never had alcohol provided. They wanted to win too badly though. . That is nuts. Kids have a hard enough time waking up early for games. Throw alcohol in the mix and that could spell disaster. I do not think you are old fashioned. You seem like a great, concerned Parent trying to do the right thing for your kids.

[sotx]

You're not old fashioned. I'm 41 with a 20 year old married kid and a 13 and 14 year old. Midnight curfew is being a good parent. Not much good happens in the early morning hours around 2am. It's just being a responsible parent and looking out for your kids. Providing alcohol or allowing drinking while living under my roof isn't going to happen.There is no way I would condone that. I'm glad to see there's still parents that think like that.

Exactly


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[Burntorange Bowhunter]

Man, y'all would freak out on the stuff heavy metal and punk kids did in the 80s. The preps too. My parents bought us some booze but most we got on our own. We partied hardcore every weekend. I never got in trouble. Never a misdemeanor on my record. We always had weed. Did acid a few times. Some cocaine and crystal. Lol. After high school just booze and weed. Wait, some hydro shrooms on a couple of occasions. Lol.

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[doghouse]

I'll never forget when my oldest was in her 2nd year of college and called me crying one Saturday morning. She got ticketed the night before for Minor in Possession of Alcohol. She had a solo cup of some rum punch and was riding in the backseat of a friend's (designated driver) car leaving a party. Stopped at a red light and the cop sitting there motioned them over because he saw Kate's cup. When she finished telling me the story, I'd never been more ashamed of one of my kids....not because she was drinking, she was in college after all; not because she got the ticket, there has to be consequences for bad decisions; but she's the first Joslin in the history of the world to get run down by a bicycle cop and it embarrassed me greatly.


My girls all had a midnight curfew and I didn't allow them to drink around me until they were 21. My kids lived under my roof, drove my vehicles, went to college on my charity, wore clothes that I paid for and ate the food that I provided... I never gave two ****s about how they felt about any of it. I did what I thought was best for them and society as a whole and it's worked out alright so far.

Sounds like we think the same way. You have two twins to get thru college. Don't be too touch!

[rvd]

I'll never forget when my oldest was in her 2nd year of college and called me crying one Saturday morning. She got ticketed the night before for Minor in Possession of Alcohol. She had a solo cup of some rum punch and was riding in the backseat of a friend's (designated driver) car leaving a party. Stopped at a red light and the cop sitting there motioned them over because he saw Kate's cup. When she finished telling me the story, I'd never been more ashamed of one of my kids....not because she was drinking, she was in college after all; not because she got the ticket, there has to be consequences for bad decisions; but she's the first Joslin in the history of the world to get run down by a bicycle cop and it embarrassed me greatly.


My girls all had a midnight curfew and I didn't allow them to drink around me until they were 21. My kids lived under my roof, drove my vehicles, went to college on my charity, wore clothes that I paid for and ate the food that I provided... I never gave two ****s about how they felt about any of it. I did what I thought was best for them and society as a whole and it's worked out alright so far.

Hilarious! My mentality was the same raising all three of mine, never cared much about what they thought and was definitely not looking to be friends with them. I was a hs principal for 19 years, takes me about 10 seconds to recognize kids that are “friends” with their parents, it’s not good. OP hold your ground

[Dave]

I put having a beer or drink with your family in a very different boat from giving a high schooler a 12 pack and sending them off with their friends.

A DUI for a 17 year old is a permanent record and very expensive. I don't understand put a child in that kind of position.

[Mexico]

I quit having a curfew after I graduated high school even though I lived at home.

My parents never provided me booze, I had to get that on my own.


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X2

[BrandonA]

I never had a curfew because I was off rodeoing in Highschool. I didn’t drink hardly any so it wasn’t a big deal. My senior yr when I started going to pro/semi pro rodeos I Learned that hospitality rooms don’t ID.. thankfully the older guys looked after me and didn’t let me get stupid

[bulltx50]

Maybe I out grew that time in my life when you laughed at sneaking off and drinking or maybe I was just a father: but I taught my kids that choices meant consequences. I would never have given my kids alcohol while under the legal drinking age period. There is still right and wrong especially when it comes to raising kids. The days of the cop taking you home to mom and dad and getting lectured is over. I have two friends who have lost children to drinking and driving. Neither one was 21 years old. I made it clear to my kids that a DWI is there for life and could cost you dearly in career or even your life. You think it's funny until you get that 2 AM knock on the door with news that takes you to your knees. You Bring kids into this world you are not their best friend, you are a parent and that's a gift that is equaled by nothing else. My children are grown, out of college, successful and both tell their friends that I'm the best. I guess I got something right in my life. My apologies for the soap box.

[justletmein]

I've got three boys, two grown and one still in the nest. I've always let them have a few beers if we're out camping or grilling at the house, but there's no freaking way I'd even consider buying for them to drink elsewhere. If they drink with me they can learn it's not drinking to be cool, learn moderation and maturity and to not get out of hand.

[Lynn21]

Think about this- how would u feel if u supplied ur kid with alcohol and he hit and killed someone because of a dui? You could possibly be visiting him in prison the rest of his life. And on top of that, you would be partially responsible for that death. Add that up, it’s a no-brainer.

[Snowflake Killa]

I can't say anything [emoji2957][emoji2957]

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[hardtner]

Two things:
1. We think the same way
2. He's had access on more than 2 occasions