Last night, the wife and I made reservation to a fancy restaurant. Just the two of us, no kids. We needed to get out of the house after being cooped up from all this Covid stuff. We aren't too scared of the getting the rona, but chose a more upscale place just to stay clear of the masses.
When we got to the restaurant, we were greeted at the door by a masked hostess. All the employees were wearing masks and rubber gloves. When we were seated, the hostess place our menus on the table with a long pair of tongs that she pulled from a holster she had strapped to her hip. The water boy came by and place two glasses of water on the table with a set of tong that he drew from a hip holster.
Our waiter came to take out drink order and proceed to tell us that part of the restaurants new operating procedure, is that nothing that passed to a customer is touch by human hands. As we glanced around the restaurant we saw every employee with the same holster with a long pair of tongs.
Some of the waiters were very skilled with the tong; drawing them from their holsters with the speed of a master gunfighter. Nothing, I mean nothing, was touch by human hands.
Our food arrived and the chef came out personally to bring our steaks. He had multiple holsters, and gold plated tongs in each. He flipped our steaks up in the air and drew his tongs with lightning speed and place them on our plates with the precision of a surgeon. We were really amazed by it all.
The food was some of the best we had ever had and everyone in the restaurant seemed to be enjoying the exhibition of tongmanship. After our meal, the manager came by and place our bill on the table with.... you guested it, a pair of tongs.
While waiting on the hostess to return our credit card, the chef came back to the table too see if we were satisfied with our meals. We gave it five stars and told him how delighted we were with their new policies. We continued to chat, making small talk while we made our way to the door. About then my wife notice a piece of string sticking out of the chefs pants. She nudged me a pointed it out. I polity leaned in and told him about it so as to not draw any attention to it.
He said "oh that, that is also part of out new policy". The string is tied around my manhood so I don't have to touch it when I go to the restroom. I said "well, how do you put it back in?"
He said " WITH THE TONGS "..........
When we got to the restaurant, we were greeted at the door by a masked hostess. All the employees were wearing masks and rubber gloves. When we were seated, the hostess place our menus on the table with a long pair of tongs that she pulled from a holster she had strapped to her hip. The water boy came by and place two glasses of water on the table with a set of tong that he drew from a hip holster.
Our waiter came to take out drink order and proceed to tell us that part of the restaurants new operating procedure, is that nothing that passed to a customer is touch by human hands. As we glanced around the restaurant we saw every employee with the same holster with a long pair of tongs.
Some of the waiters were very skilled with the tong; drawing them from their holsters with the speed of a master gunfighter. Nothing, I mean nothing, was touch by human hands.
Our food arrived and the chef came out personally to bring our steaks. He had multiple holsters, and gold plated tongs in each. He flipped our steaks up in the air and drew his tongs with lightning speed and place them on our plates with the precision of a surgeon. We were really amazed by it all.
The food was some of the best we had ever had and everyone in the restaurant seemed to be enjoying the exhibition of tongmanship. After our meal, the manager came by and place our bill on the table with.... you guested it, a pair of tongs.
While waiting on the hostess to return our credit card, the chef came back to the table too see if we were satisfied with our meals. We gave it five stars and told him how delighted we were with their new policies. We continued to chat, making small talk while we made our way to the door. About then my wife notice a piece of string sticking out of the chefs pants. She nudged me a pointed it out. I polity leaned in and told him about it so as to not draw any attention to it.
He said "oh that, that is also part of out new policy". The string is tied around my manhood so I don't have to touch it when I go to the restroom. I said "well, how do you put it back in?"
He said " WITH THE TONGS "..........
SMH
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