Old guy sayings

[SaltwaterSlick]

We all know boar hogs can't have pigs, but... The Good Lord put tits on 'em just in case.

And "that's about as useless as the third handle on a pizz pot."

[Tony Pic]

My Pop had a T shirt that said.
By the time a man grows up to realize his father was right.
He has kids who think he is wrong

Stupid hurts son...pay attention.

So much that was said in Italian to disguise cuss words in front of the kids.

[SaltwaterSlick]

After a good meal... "why fhart n waste it, when you can belch and taste it?"

after a good ol' noisy fhart, "better out n bare the shame and in and bare the pain!"
or... "saves wear and tear on the underware"...

I'd be all over that like a J-bird on a June bug...

[solocam_aggie]

"That boy aint scared of work, he'll sit right beside it"

[Froggy]

He's so dang lazy he'll poop in the bed and kick it out with his feet.

The best time to take a nap is right after you wake up in the morning cause that's when you're the most tired.

[Hoss163]

Worthless as tits on a boar hog
Slower than a Seven year itch
She so ugly she would make a train take a dirt road
Can’t carry a tune in a bucket
Boy howdy son you can tear up a steel ball with a rubber hammer.

[savage1134]

Son-"Dad where was I born?"
Dad-"Son, a bird sh&t on a weed and the sun hatched you"

[Sharecropper]

After a good phart . . Kick em out, they don't pay no rent . .

[hog_down]

"ugly as a mud fence"

[Grits]

From my granddady:
I know she can't help being ugly, but she coulda stayed at home!
He's wound tighter than an 8 day clock!
That poor baby is so ugly they gonna have to tie a bone around his neck to get the dog to play with him!

This one is what he always said when all the grandkids were leaving after spending the weekend with him. "Sure going to be lonesome around here when y'all are gone, but it's going to be a good lonesome"!

[gvick]

Boss makes a dollar and I make a dime so I'm gonna crap on company time.

[Snowflake Killa]

I got to sh it like a pet coon

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[Calrob]

My grandad, anytime I got a new job or the teary eyed goodbye when I was headed to boot camp
"Make 'em a hand"

[bloodstick]

When asked a question and the answer is a resounding yes,
"Is a ducks arse water tight?"

[Sharecropper]

Hummin like a 6 penny nail hit with a greasy ball pein hammer . .