Divorce your wife?

[Bear Charge]

Give and take but good Lord I'm glad that I started this thread!

[S-3 Ranch]

Other then a cheating spouse what has caused or gives you cause for a divorce?

Financial infidelity is one , or being BSC for ether side , mutual discontent , irreconcilable differences , bad parenting

[Playa]

What century are you in? Do you have kids?

I’d suggest he get a new avatar

[ATTACH]961395[/ATTACH]

Yes we have 3 kids. Yes, my wife works full time. This isn’t about exerting dominance over my wife, as the image suggested for my avatar alludes to. It’s about leading by example. She will follow if you are stepping up in all areas of your life. It’s about living in sovereignty. If I’m not sovereign in my marriage then I’m incapable of changing it. Therefore I changed how I lived and our marriage flourished because of it.

Lots of naysayers, but have you tried living with integrity long enough for those around you to notice?

I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying I don’t screw up and lose my cool. I’m not saying our marriage is perfect. And I cannot guarantee your wife won’t step out on you or spend every dollar you earn. But what I can guarantee is that regardless of your marital status your life will improve when you own your actions and responses. And in my experience women respond to that in a positive manner more times than not.

[Jspradley]

financial infidelity is one , or being bsc for ether side , mutual discontent , irreconcilable differences , bad parenting

bsc?

[tbgascorer]

Father's Day last year my wife told me she wanted a divorce. It totally blindsided me and left me reeling like I'd been given a death sentence. We hadn't been in the best spot for a time, but I never thought she would want to end it. We have two kids together 11 and 5 at the time. I was agnostic boarding on atheist, she was an on again off again christiain but had quit going for a while. The lack of faith on my part was a problem, but there were other things.

I tried everything to save the marriage, offered going to counsiling, reached out to her preacher, her family, our mutual friends etc. She wasn't having any of it. 3 weeks later, she moved into our guest room, took off her wedding ring and changed her facebook status to "single" and started taking lots of "risque" pictures and updating it. Lots of filters, cleavage etc(shes 48). A few more weeks went by and I heard the "conversations" with someone else. Late night, lots of passion, lots of things I can't print. My kids heard it too. I ended up sleeping with ear plugs for months.

I still tried keeping her here, fought hard, begged, when to church, tried to pray, still nothing. Then she blocked me on any social media from seeing her. Her family basically took her side and I was "out". For the record, shes a financial train wreck, pathological liar, and couldnt finance a gumball with 50% down. That caused lots of problems for us. I bailed her out financially more times than I can count. And when I would get upset about it, it became my "fault" she lied about it because of how i reacted.

Anyway, after 100 days of this I finally went down to the courthouse and filed. I broke into tears in my truck, punched the dashboard, screamed at the sky. Nothing changed.

From then till she moved out on March 15 2019 I had to endure listening to those conversations, she quit her job and lived off "me" from December she moved out. She filed a domestic violence protective order against me because we had a fight about her "conversations" and money she took out of the health savings account.

The judge didn't believe it, but she tried to take the kids, the house, the guns, anger managment, supervised visitation, the whole works. I was one decision from losing my kids forever.

Fast forward although she stayed till March 15 we were divorced February 26. We both used lawyers for consultations, but didn't hire them outright. This saved me having to itemize everything I owned and her getting 1/2. Instead I gave her $100k out of my retirement and then she took everything she wanted out of the house, which was mostly everything(including the curtains).

I stood by and endured it, because they are just things. I wanted my kids 50/50 custody and knew if I fought shed continue to make bogus claims.

I pray often that I wish I had seen the signs, and been able to change things. I miss my "family" terribly and what it meant.( I was a wild one before her and didn't need anyone".
I could never take her back now, but she was my wife, the mother of my kids and that was something.

So, yes I filed because what she was doing, wasn't what I wanted my kids to have as an example of what a family should be. We told my oldest on the 4th of July weekend last year. She was lost, and I couldn't stop crying. But I also made my ex tell my daughter it was her idea, I wasnt taking the sword on that one.

Father's Day this year was the absolute worst, despite having my kids with me, its a painful reminder of what I had.

So..if there's infidelity, or abuse, I agree, go file. But for anything else, especially if there are kids involved, fight to your last breath to resurrect what you had. At 54, I'm staring at the single life with a 6 and 12 year old, this isn't how I planned how my life would go.

Sorry to hear this man. Sounds similar to my story. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[jer_james]

Problem is, women aren’t raised like that anymore. PLUS, they have a financial “out”. Right or wrong, that’s how it is. I agree, IF people followed the Word, this would be a moot point. I 100% agree with that last sentence as well. Today’s society is sad. People think they don’t love each other when they aren’t “in love” and the new wears off. However, I have seen too many men think that “head of the house” to mean that they have carte blanche to be a jackass. They cherry pick that part for their own benefit and ignore the rest. People will fall back to the “women weren’t like that in our day. There wasn’t near the divorce”.
Of course there wasn’t. Women had next to no options for good jobs, coupled with the stigma of being a divorcee’. Faced with that, yeah staying married was abt the only choice. As times changed and more opportunities for women became available, as well as an instant gratification society, the rise in divorce was I inevitable. But cheating is the #1 deal breaker.

Being a good person doesn't have anything to do with the Bible. Helping others, not cheating and being a good steward are not only Biblical concepts.

The other information I believe to be correct. It's a matter of opportunity. It's a matter of Women not finding their identity behind a Man.

[SaltwaterSlick]

Sorry to hear this man. Sounds similar to my story. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Jason really am saddened to hear you had to endure such a thing too!! Hope those kiddos and you are doing well by now!!

[Strummer]

I gave my first court date next Tuesday. It’s go grant me fully custody of the kids . I guess I’m one on the lucky ones so to say . Neither one of has been unfaithful to each other . Really can’t say much on here as to why we are divorcing. We are in the beginnings of the process.

[Graysonhogs]

Being a good person doesn't have anything to do with the Bible. Helping others, not cheating and being a good steward are not only Biblical concepts.



The other information I believe to be correct. It's a matter of opportunity. It's a matter of Women not finding their identity behind a Man.

Six of one, half a dozen of another. Religious or not, it’s a pretty good owners manual for life. I never said believing in the Bible and being a good person are mutually inclusive. It’s all semantics at this point.


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[Hughiam]

Hugh, I am so, so sorry to hear about how this all turned out! Wish I could have helped some! You sir, keep your head up! I know you to be an honest, good man from experience. If you ever get back to this low country, let me know. I'd love to sit with you and talk. You're always welcome at my campfire!

Thanks Charlie, Ill take you up on that! If you ever venture north, the same goes for you.

[hooligan]

Man reading through this thread made me leave work early to pick up some flowers for my wife and get the house cleaned up a little before she gets home from work

[Jayt22]

I filed on my first wife. I still got screwed big time, but I got away from that psycho.

Same!!

[Dale Moser]

bsc?

My mind is racing, thousands of possibilities!


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[tbgascorer]

Jason really am saddened to hear you had to endure such a thing too!! Hope those kiddos and you are doing well by now!!

Thanks Charlie. I am doing good and enjoying spending some time with the little ones.

[Roy]

Man reading through this thread made me leave work early to pick up some flowers for my wife and get the house cleaned up a little before she gets home from work

No kidding! I shouldn't have read this thread considering I'm about to enter my 2nd marriage next month. But I have experienced a lot of what everyone else has gone through with my 1st marriage. Cheating, lying, etc... Thank God I got out of that one!