What’d You Get Away With?

[slicktree]

I was probably 5 or 6 years old and my mom fried me some chicken nuggets they were sitting on a paper plate and paper towel to drain the oil. There was a lit candle on the table, after I was done with my chicken nuggets I stuck that paper towel in the candle and poof up in flames I threw it on the floor and it caught the carpet on fire. My mom was in the bathroom I ran in there screaming that the house was on fire. My mom ran in the living room screaming started stomping the fire, beating it with a towel etc. Meanwhile my younger brother was sitting on the floor watching tv and had absolutely no idea the house was on fire and didn't hear my mom screaming. My mom got the fire put out smoke alarm was going off and she was ******. She screamed at me WHO DID THIS???? All I could think of and say was Tim did it. My mom ran into the living room and my little brother had no idea about what was about to happen. My mom yanked him off the floor by one arm and hammered his ***, I dont remember how many times she spanked him but she wore his butt out and he was squalling. He got a whooping of a lifetime, I never ever fessed up to it until 25 years later. I had a few to many crown royals at Christmas and fessed up to it me and my dad were laughing so hard tears were rolling. My brother found it surprisingly funny, but not my mom she was dang near in tears and felt horrible all those years about how bad she whooped him.

[TxDispatcher]

I was probably 5 or 6 years old and my mom fried me some chicken nuggets they were sitting on a paper plate and paper towel to drain the oil. There was a lit candle on the table, after I was done with my chicken nuggets I stuck that paper towel in the candle and poof up in flames I threw it on the floor and it caught the carpet on fire. My mom was in the bathroom I ran in there screaming that the house was on fire. My mom ran in the living room screaming started stomping the fire, beating it with a towel etc. Meanwhile my younger brother was sitting on the floor watching tv and had absolutely no idea the house was on fire and didn't hear my mom screaming. My mom got the fire put out smoke alarm was going off and she was ******. She screamed at me WHO DID THIS???? All I could think of and say was Tim did it. My mom ran into the living room and my little brother had no idea about what was about to happen. My mom yanked him off the floor by one arm and hammered his ***, I dont remember how many times she spanked him but she wore his butt out and he was squalling. He got a whooping of a lifetime, I never ever fessed up to it until 25 years later. I had a few to many crown royals at Christmas and fessed up to it me and my dad were laughing so hard tears were rolling. My brother found it surprisingly funny, but not my mom she was dang near in tears and felt horrible all those years about how bad she whooped him.

Now THAT is hilarious 😂 glad your brother was able to find the humor in it as well

[RiverRat1]

Grew up in the 70's, enough said.

One time during Young Life, we set off a muratic acid bomb (which is basically just a super loud noise) and the cops and bomb squad showed up and held us all for questioning because a neighbor reported finding ball bearings (they might have, but they weren't from the bomb). That made the rounds through the parents and somehow mine never heard about it.

Myself and 2 friends rounded up ALL our guns (and parents guns) and set up everything we could find to shoot. We were just out of city limits so it was legal. We had every gun loaded and laid out so as to not interrupt or let the shooting slow down. I'm talking shotguns, handguns, a 270, 300, etc.. We all had 3-4 guns each at least.

As soon as we were done we went back to his house where he had everything needed to make all sorts of "things". About 5 minutes goes by and the doorbell rings. We had every cop, Sherriff and Game Warden outside with all their cars parked blocking out cars

Did I mention we may have been trespassing one property over LOL.. They drilled us with questions as we led them outside away from the other stuff we had in the house. They demanded to show us exactly where we were shooting.. Oh crap! As we walked towards the spot and still on his land my buddy saw a couple old shotgun shells on the ground and said "right here, here's some shells we missed when cleaning up"

They bought it. Told us next time to please not make it sound like WWIII so they don't get very neighbor within miles panic calling them.

[GarGuy]

I know a fellow that was on a hunt with a great group of guys and their two bosses. The boss men were absolute jackwagons and ordered the other hunters around like slaves while they drank. While this was a group hunt all the hunters were paying their own way.

Three days of this revealed a pattern. Drink late into the night and then get up late. Drink a pot of coffee while subordinates got all their gear ready.

Fourth morning one of the peons was ordered to make coffee. He did and poured a full bottle of tinks doe in heat urine in the pot. No-one said a word while the two hung over bosses drank that junk.

[Quackerbox]

I didn't think it was bad but handcuffs and a back seat said otherwise

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[Keith]

When I was a Sr in high school, my best friend and I bought a couple of bottles of Boone's Farm (cheapest alcohol and all we could afford) and started drinking it while cruising town. There was a dance or something at the civic center next door to the high school and there was apparently a police officer working security. We decided to climb up on top of the high school and write Seniors rule on the lunch room skylights. We parked my car and finished off the last of the Boone's Farm. Then my friend opened my glove box to discovered we didn't have any shoe polish, so I started my car to drive away. All the sudden the cop shined his light in my back window as he was 10' behind my car when I started it. He found the empty bottles and said "they haven't been empty long, they're still cold". He searched my car and luckily we didn't have any more alcohol, so he couldn't get us for minor in possession, and we weren't drunk, so he had to let us go.


I purchased a retired highway patrol Camaro from the state of Texas at auction in Austin about 26-27 years ago. On the way home, the car died, the alternator was out. My dad was following me and he took me to a parts store and we bought a battery in Rockwall. I told him I was going to hurry home before this battery died. I was driving about 90 when my radar detector went crazy! I was out in the county, about 2 miles from my exit and never saw the cop, so I just floored it. I got up to 155mph and hit the exit and got home. I never saw the cop.

[pervis]

I went to a party w nothing on but shoes in college. B4 airlines had so much security we stole the securitys golf cart drove it down the terminal. Had my buddies mom come have to get us. Then in Louisville ky at the nbl grands we rode the baggage claim bins out the baggage claim and out to the tarmac to get our own bikes off the plane. Im permanently banned from ever renting a uhaul for totalling one in my 20s. It was their fault they sold me the insurance policy. We got wasted and ordered our last 40$ to our name in tacos. We used to sneak into the woodlands athletic club, well we made our own hole in the fence. We would take girls in there and hot tub and jump off their 7 and 10 meter platforms at night. Had a buddy start an escort service. Ive lived an eventful life. Theres plenty more, thats just the tip of the iceberg. I grew up racing bmx all over the country as a kid and pushed the limits where most people would die or get arrested. I did get arrested a few times, just to see how jail was. Yeah. I like to have a good time.

[pervis]

I gave a cup of **** to a douch bag looking for a beer at a party at 3am. He said omg this tastes like ****! Me and a buddy we re laughing so hard inside, but had to keep a straight face. The guy left and we nearly ****** ourselves.
Later in life i threw a cup of pee out the window at 70 only to have it spray back in the truck in my face, giving me my own golden shower. Hey it happens. Why did i read this thread i could go on forever

[Clayton]

I also used to shoot a water balloon launcher at people coming out of HEB at I10 and Wurzbach in San Antonio. There was a strip mall next to it with an alley behind it you could hide behind the dumpsters, and there were ample escape routes for when we were inevitably discovered. Really funny seeing how shocked people are to get smashed with a water balloon coming out of a grocery store.

Why would you brag about assaulting random people who were grocery shopping? Or bragging about being a thief?

I hope you've gained a little more respect for your fellow citizens by now

[Dugie]

Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival, 1991. In the middle of town with the streets shut down. I was a senior in HS, so we went over to Louisiana to have a little fun. Me and a couple of buddies had just been accepted to TAMU and we were pretty proud of that. LSU was the first home game on the Aggies schedule that next fall and that would be our first game as students. While at the Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival, we drank a lot of beer and were having a great time....until....A guy walked by in a LSU t-shirt (one of thousands) and my drunk, soon-to-be college roommate yells "LSU SUCKS"....at the top of his lungs....in Breaux Bridge, La....where everyone else is also drunk.

Fast forward approximately 30 seconds and we are surrounded by a drunken mob, no exaggeration, hellbent on fighting the four of us to the death. We were back-to-back-to-back-to-back, facing our doom but ready to go down swinging. We were trying to apologize, but that fell on deaf ears. People I remember being in the mob was a guy with about a 12' python wrapped around him, a guy with a siphon hose and a lot of ****** off people that may have included Billy Cannon and Pete Maravich...probably not, but you'd have thought they all graduated from LSU...instead of Willard's Truck Driving Academy. Well, we were gonna get an *** kicking. There was one guy that was definitely the antagonist, and I'd already decided that if I was getting my butt whipped, he was going to the ground with me even if I had to chew off his nose while getting my ribs kicked it.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a man wade through the crowd, but as he gets closer, I see a revolver in his waist band. He was there to break it up, I hoped. When he got to the middle of the mayhem, he asked "What in the hell is going on here". I replied, "I was just fixin' to whoop the *** of this big-mouth right here". I'll never forget the words out of the antagonist's mouth as long as I live....he said, "Dad, these guys just said that LSU SUCKS". Uh...did he just call him "Dad"? Yes, yes he did.

Well, lucky for us, Dad must know that Junior is a lightweight, loud mouth that's fixin' to get his nose chewed off because he turns to us four and with his hand resting on the handle of his revolver, says "You boys better carry your asses back to Texas while you still can". Four "Yes sir" replies and we were speed walking back to the truck which was parked on the other side of town.

Morals to the story...be respectful of places you visit. Don't room with anyone in college that talks better than he fights.

BTW....Sept 14th 1991, at my first Aggie game as a student, the Ags win 45-7. Looks like my old roommate Jim was right after all.

Was a great game, my first Aggie game as well, the left side of my face peeled off after the sunburn sitting on the 3rd deck, it was a lesson I learned quickly

[Gherkin05]

Drove a hopped-up lifted 4x through a power pole nocking our power for half of Lake Brownwood for 12 hours.....
Ran like Jesse Owens and after the dust settled no one was hurt and I didn’t get as much as a parking ticket.

And that’s the short version......

[Gherkin05]

I know someone that rode a motorcycle through the halls of the HS.






Naked.

Awesome!

[WestwardBound]

Ya'll are something else haha

[Keith]

About a month before graduation, one of my friends in high school, as a Sr prank, poured a full bottle of skunk cover scent in the hallways during 1st period class. They had to evacuate the building, it was strong! Anyway my dad received a phone call from the principal asking if we had any skunk cover scent, because he knew we hunted. My dad told him we did, but it was at our deer lease south of Abilene. I never even got questioned about it, but they busted Dennis a few days later.


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[muzzlebrake]

I sat on a toilet seat in a public restroom(Waffle House) once and didn't catch any crotch crickets.